Page 69 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

“Didn’t stop him from climbing in, but yeah.

I’m trying to set boundaries,” I said a little desperately, omitting the part where I’d nearly kissed him during our snow fight and the jealous display in front of the guy who’d shown up at the door.

“Because we all know Parker and Erin will end up together eventually.”

My tone begged for her to disagree, but she only sighed.

“How is Erin? Have you heard from her?”

“Yeah, she’s… she says she ran into Nolan down there.”

It took me a minute. “ My Nolan?” I bleated.

“I didn’t think you had feelings for him.” I could tell by her voice she was worried.

“No, I don’t. Not at all. But still… that seems… highly unusual.”

Hazel’s laugh was comfortingly familiar. “That’s the understatement of the year. It’s creepy. What’s worse is I don’t think she ran into him, Jules. I think she invited him to go with her. I think they’re down there together.”

An incredulous laugh burbled up. “This is unbelievable. It’s like a reality television show. Why the hell would Erin take that asshat to Mexico?”

I spotted the broken security light still hanging by its wires on the corner of the garage. Screw it, I’d call someone else to fix it. The idea of Parker going back up on the ladder when there was this much ice on the eaves made me nervous.

“She said she was digging his open and easy vibe. He’s supposedly all about trying new things and having adventures. He’s helping her expand her consciousness. She likes that he calls her ‘E’ because—I kid you not—she says it makes her feel like a ‘brand-new person.’”

I looked up at the deep blue sky. Erin was an idiot, plain and simple. Who gave up a lifetime of Parker Ellis for a throwaway week with Nolan? My brain couldn’t even fathom it.

“Will Parker be upset?” Hazel asked.

“Well, for one, I’m not planning on telling him.

For another, probably not. He keeps telling me Erin made the right choice because they wanted different things.

When I asked what the hell that meant, he said she likes to travel and he doesn’t.

She likes to try things like skydiving and bungee jumping and he doesn’t.

He even said she’d been on one of those drug-induced ‘journey’ weekends and wanted him to come on the next one. ”

Hazel snickered. “Yeah, that was when she and I grew apart a little, to be honest. I think deep down, she hasn’t figured out what she wants out of life.

She’s the queen of trying weird things and then freaking out and running back home to safety.

Then it’s like she recharges her batteries with Rod, Lorraine, and Parker before going back out to try something new. ”

The truth of her words struck me so suddenly, I sat down hard on the porch’s wooden bench. “Fuck.”

“But I thought this time was different. I really thought she was ready to settle down. Otherwise, why propose? Why talk Parker into the big wedding?” she continued.

“Why do you think she did it?” I felt weightless with nerves.

When Parker learned this, that he’d essentially been used all these years as a safe place to land, he’d be devastated.

He deserved more than this. He deserved to be someone’s everything.

Someone’s permanent home, not just a temporary landing pad.

Hazel let out a frustrated breath. “Honestly, it sounds awful, but I think it was FOMO. All her friends have gotten married lately, and she was sick of being the bridesmaid. The one who couldn’t commit.

But also, her parents were pressuring her to stop stringing Parker along.

You know how much Rod and Lorraine care about him. ”

I stood up again to pace down the front walk. When I turned back, I noticed Parker singing into a butter knife like it was a microphone.

I loved him so much it made me dizzy.

“Then why didn’t she follow through with it?” I asked myself more than anything.

“Maybe Nolan reminded her commitment wasn’t really what she wanted. Jules… you need to tell him. You need to make sure he doesn’t hear it from someone else.”

“Fuck,” I said again.

I’d do anything to protect his heart, but Hazel was right.

I needed to tell him. It had been bad enough thinking Nolan had triggered all of this in the first place and that Erin might have gone along with the wedding if it hadn’t been for Mr. Open Sexfest sitting at the rehearsal dinner swapping stories of fun in the sun with no restrictions.

It was so much worse thinking that she’d taken him on Parker’s honeymoon.

Remembering how Parker had put in so much effort to make the trip special for Erin made me want to throw something… specifically Nolan.

A faint voice in the back of my head reminded me no one could lure another person away from a wedding they truly wanted, but that voice was pretty damned dim at the moment. My guilt was much, much louder.

“Hazel, I gotta go.”

I went back inside and prepared to tell him the truth.

Parker turned around and grinned. “I think we should pay Mikey back by sending random hookups to the Lodge. Tiller will…” He must have seen something on my face because his grin faded. “What’s wrong? Is Hazel okay?”

I reached for his hand and pulled him over to the sofa. “Yeah, she’s fine. Everyone is fine. Listen…” How the hell was I supposed to tell him his ex-fiancée was this selfish?

“I told you Erin went to Mexico,” I began.

Parker’s eyebrows came together. “Yeah?”

“She didn’t go alone. She went with Nolan.”

He looked crestfallen. “Oh shit.”

I squeezed the hand I still held. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait. What? Why are you sorry? I’m sorry. I know you said you didn’t have feelings for him but…”

I stared at him. “Parks. I don’t give a shit about Nolan. I told you he and I weren’t a thing. This is about Erin. She went on your honeymoon with someone else.”

He looked down at where he now held my hand between both of his.

His thumb rubbed gently across the back of my hand enough to almost distract me from the conversation.

Almost . “He’s probably a good fit for her right now.

I bet they’re out there climbing a Mayan ruin and reveling in their freedom, opening their minds or whatever.

I’m sure they’ll have fun together.” He shrugged and looked back up at me.

I yanked my hand out of his grip and stood up to pace. “Fun? Fun ? Didn’t you hear what I said? She’s with Nolan. Probably sleeping with Nolan. On your honeymoon.”

Parker tilted his head at me. “Yeah… you told me. So?”

I flapped my arms up and down like a deranged chicken. “Are you kidding? Your fiancée?—”

“ Ex -fiancée,” he interrupted from the sofa.

I glared at him. “ Ex -fiancée is sleeping with him. How is this okay with you? How is any of this okay with you?”

Parker shrugged. “I don’t know. Just is.”

“It can’t be. You’re repressing, or?—”

“I’m not.”

I shook my head. “You haven’t processed?—”

“I have.”

“Then for fuck’s sake, explain how you didn’t even want me sharing a room platonically with the guy the night before the wedding ago, and now you’re perfectly calm at the fact that he ran off with your fiancée!”

“Because she’s not you, damn it!” he exploded, nostrils flared, then blinked as what he’d said caught up to him. He didn’t back down, though. “She’s not you,” he repeated softly. “And once again, she’s my ex -fiancée, Jules.”

“For now.”

“Forever.”

“And what does that even mean,” I whispered, almost afraid to look at him. “She’s not me?”

Parker stood up and grabbed my hands to hold them down by my side. He suddenly seemed so close. Uncomfortably close. Intimately close.

I sucked in a breath.

Meanwhile, Parker looked as calm and unruffled and confident as I’d ever seen him.

“It means she’s not the person I obsess about when they’re gone.

She’s not the person I want to run to when I have something cool to share.

” His eyes pinned me with an intensity that made my stomach drop to the floor.

“And she’s not the person I want so fucking badly to kiss right now. ”

What. The. Ever-loving. Fuck. Was happening.

I stepped backward and nearly fell over a side table.

I turned to grab it before it fell, and then I scrambled to right the few items that had fallen over.

“Nope. Nope, you didn’t just say that. Stop doing this.

You’re saying things you don’t mean. You’re upset.

Understandably so. You were left at the altar.

On Valentine’s Day. That has to cut deep.

So… so, yeah. That’s all this is.” I turned back and glared at him. “Confusion.”

Parker stepped close again, that sexy little smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I’m not confused. Not anymore.”

My breathing came fast and jagged. “Well, I sure as fuck am. This is ridiculous. This… this week was supposed to be… not about this,” I said frantically, running my hand palm out in a circle between us to indicate everything encompassing the two of us.

“This week was supposed to be… supposed to be…”

He leaned in until our noses almost touched. Almost.

“Supposed to be?” he asked in a low, breathy voice that made my balls ache.

“Supposed to be me moving on from you.”