Page 42 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

Not this. Not this action film where the money was great but the conditions were dangerous because of a director’s ego, because of the insane way Hollywood rewarded films and directors that “pushed boundaries.”

I didn’t want this life I had. The people in LA who claimed to be my friends but who most likely wouldn’t show up if I suddenly lived in a place like Watts again.

Hell, I’d had more fun here in Aster Valley than I’d had living in Santa Monica right on the ocean.

Even the chalet felt more like home to me than my sterile, professionally decorated house in California.

But then I remembered Nolan’s dangling carrot.

The Taming of the Shrew.

I could put my head down and get through Gold Rats if that was what was waiting for me at the end. My dream was to work on a Shakespeare project of some kind. To immerse myself in the language and nuance, the history and pageantry, of a quality Shakespeare production.

I wondered idly if Solo and his friends would have any interest in putting on an abridged version of Hamlet for their teacher. Would the teacher be impressed or pissed? There was no way to know unless I asked him, but I wasn’t about to overstep. That would probably not go over well.

One thing at a time. I was here to film Gold Rats . Period. And I had high expectations of myself. I would act as well as I could and give this project all of me regardless of the director, the other actors, or any other detail unrelated to my own work ethic.

But that’s not to say I wouldn’t look out for myself.

I called Iris as soon as Declan dropped me off at my car in town.

“Finn, darling. I’m hearing wonderful things from your mother.”

Way to set my teeth on edge from the first moment. I ignored the comment and got right into the reason for my call. I didn’t have much time. The drive to the set’s base of operations on the mountain wasn’t that long.

“Yeah, well, hopefully Dawson filled you in on what they tried to pull last night. There was no mention of night climbing, and I’m not doing it without a stronger safety protocol, especially after what happened the other day.”

“Where is Kramer?”

I wanted to scream. She already knew all of this.

And if she didn’t, she wasn’t making me much of a priority.

“Not here. So they either need to replace him with someone else certified at that level or wait until he gets back here to shoot a technical scene like that, someone AMGA-certified. I’m sure there are a ton of instructors out here in the Rockies. ”

“I consulted with our attorney late last night when I received your message. They don’t see a place indicating that requirement in the contract. I’m sorry, Finn. It looks like you’ll need to?—”

I tried to focus on the road despite seeing red. “Go back and ask again, because I was sure there were safety protocol requirements mentioned.”

“Well, yes, but the way it’s written says the climbing instructor needs to consult on the shoot, not be present during shooting.”

I felt wholly let down by this process. “Iris, I know we didn’t discuss a lot about this contract and the stunts I was going to be required to do, and that’s my bad because I trusted that you’d be looking out for my safety and my best interest. I won’t make that mistake again.

But I know for a fact that I told you I wanted a certified climbing safety inspector present at every shoot where I was in rigging.

I told you so many times you rolled your eyes at me.

You said of course that would be in there.

You said it had been included in my terms since Cast in Clover . You said it was standard procedure.”

Instead of sounding nervous, she sounded falsely patient, like she was attempting to manage me. “Finn, dear, you’re an excellent climber. Hell, you have the same safety certifications Kramer does. Why in the world would we need?—”

I cut her off before pulling down the road to the parking area. “Have the attorney call me directly in the next ten minutes, and make sure they have a copy of the contract in front of them. Do you understand?”

I hung up the phone and parked the car behind my trailer. Hopefully craft services had something hearty for breakfast because I was starving. Before heading over to the tent, I popped into my trailer to see if the call sheets were there yet. Instead of a call sheet, I found my mother.

“Mom. What are you doing here?”

She looked nervous. “Thank goodness. It’s so good to see you. I was worried after I heard about the arrest.”

Her hug covered me in a cloud of perfume. “It wasn’t exactly an arrest,” I muttered. “More like a mutual misunderstanding.”

“Well, I saw how you misunderstood Kix’s face. The poor kid is sporting a shiner today.”

I glanced at her to see if she was joking.

“I… I also have a black eye, Mom. In case you didn’t notice.

Also? I was sitting in a vehicle minding my own business when Kix came driving up in my car—taken without my permission—and began verbally attacking me out of the blue.

” I didn’t mention the horrible things he’d said about her, but they were definitely on my mind again.

“You boys have always acted like brothers. It’s just one of those things, I guess.”

“No, Mom. Not one of those things. Not one of those things at all. I felt guilty for years because I got the Chip Clover role and he didn’t.

But I’m done feeling guilty for that. I’d like to think I would have gotten it anyway.

Despite what Kix has said for years, he wasn’t a shoo-in for the role.

Had they wanted him that badly, they would have waited for him.

Also? How many times over the years did the casting agent preen about what an impeccable casting decision she’d made with me? ”

Mom clasped my upper arms and smiled at me. “Don’t for one minute think I don’t believe you were the absolute best choice. You are Chip Clover. You defined that role, and history shows what a great casting decision it was. And look where it’s led you. I hope you know how proud I am of you, Finn.”

Her words were the typical roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. On the one hand, she was proud of me. Up. On the other, she saw me as Chip Clover. Down. She appreciated my acting chops. Up. But she thought it had led me to a place I really wanted to be. Down.

“Thank you. Did you need something? Otherwise, I’m going to grab breakfast and get to work.”

She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, no. I just stopped by to… see how you were. I’m going to head back home this afternoon, but I was hoping you might let me watch whatever shoot you have today. I already ran it past Nolan, and he said it was fine.”

My stomach dropped. “You… you already asked the director…” I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know . “How… how do you…” I bit my teeth together to fight sudden nausea. “Do you know Nolan Trainor?”

“Honey, everyone knows Nolan Trainor. Don’t be ridiculous.” She rummaged in her designer purse for something. “I happened to run into him this morning when I got to the set. He was very welcoming.”

“How welcoming?” I asked, before I could stop myself.

My mother’s blush and avoidance of eye contact told me all I needed to know about the truth of Kix’s words.

I was gutted.

“Mom,” I said, voice cracking. “Please tell me you didn’t?—”

Her eyes snapped to mine. “What I do in private is none of your business, understand me? None. And if you think for one minute someone with Nolan Trainor’s reputation would ever cast someone who wasn’t the right choice for the role, well, then you don’t know Nolan Trainor.”

I thought of all the smack talk I’d heard over the years about Nolan. How he was a player with a giant ego. He loved to be known for being edgy and pushing boundaries. How he treated people like commodities.

And suddenly, I was simply done.

I nodded and smiled at my mother the best I could.

“Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me.

I know it wasn’t easy being practically a child yourself when you were tasked with raising one.

And I can’t imagine what it would have been like growing up gay in Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

Because of you, I can live the life I want and make whatever choice I want for my future.

Please don’t ever think I’m ungrateful for that, because I’m not.

Because of you and this work, I’m able to follow my dreams.”

And my words were true. She just didn’t know what dreams I was referring to.