Page 85 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

PARKER

I rolled him onto his back and kissed him, not giving him a chance to respond to my comment about moving to Aster Valley.

There was no rush. But I did feel a sense of urgency to kiss him, to hold him in my arms and show him with my body that I had no hesitation about the new sexual side to our relationship.

My thoughts had been spinning wildly all day, and with them, some memories had flung out of the depths and surprised me.

I remembered sneaking a peek of Julian’s dick when he changed clothes in front of me after a baseball game in middle school.

And then again in the locker room in high school.

I remembered sharing a bed with him one night in eleventh grade and getting hard when I realized his hand was slowly stroking his dick under the covers.

And I remembered nearly breaking my hand when I punched a wall after accidentally walking in on him and Kader Zaman making out in the Rokas’ pool house during a party after graduation.

Kader’s hand had been down the front of Julian’s swimsuit, and I’d wanted to strangle the guy for his aggressive presumption.

My stomach had hurt so badly, but I’d misinterpreted it as anger and fear.

Anger that someone would presume to touch Julian in such a base way and fear that Julian’s heart would be broken.

My brain knew Julian would have wanted it, was clearly consenting to the hookup if his eyes rolling back in his head was any indication, but my gut screamed that it was in all ways wrong .

I’d told myself I was being protective of Julian. That, as his best friend, I simply wanted him to hold out for the right guy—someone who’d recognize how wonderful he was and treat him accordingly.

Now, I realized what I’d been feeling was nothing as civilized as protectiveness. It was pure, primal jealousy.

Because there would never be anyone in the world who was right for Julian… except me .

I wanted all of his kisses. All of his attention.

All of his passion. I wanted to be the only one who saw his eyes flare with arousal and soften in the afterglow of his orgasm.

And I wanted it to be seriously fucking clear to everyone, especially Julian, that the only hand on Julian’s dick from now on should be mine.

Now, finally , it was my turn to make Julian’s eyes roll back. It was my turn to make his knees wobble and his breathing stutter. It was my turn to hear him gasp out my name in a broken curse as he finally let go.

Julian’s hands were large and strong against my back. His legs moved against mine, rough with body hair and muscle. The late-night scruff on his face rubbed at my own and pulled at the tender skin of my lips. He smelled like a combination of faded cologne, good wine, and traces of Julian sweat.

It was familiar, but it was newly intoxicating too.

I moved my face down to inhale the skin of his neck, and then I moved further down to bury my nose in his armpit.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a smile in his voice. “I probably smell.”

“You do,” I said, inhaling again and again. “And it’s fucking fantastic.” I moved over to swipe my tongue over his nipple before taking it gently between my teeth. Julian’s hiss made my cock pulse, so I added the pressure of my tongue and began to suck.

He arched up into me, moving his hands down to clutch my ass. “You’re acting like a guy right now.”

“I am a guy.”

“No, but oh god …”

I latched onto his other nipple and sucked hard before pulling off and sucking a hickey into the ink on the side of his neck. He let out a yelp that turned into a lurid groan of pleasure.

“Fantasies,” he gasped. “M-my fantasies are coming to life right now.”

I moved my tongue along the colorful splotches of ink, remembering the impromptu design that had started as Julian’s doodle of our school’s grizzly bear mascot on my math notebook our junior year but had become so much more. “You know how obsessed I am with this.”

“It’s yours.” He groaned again as my fingers reached down to push under the elastic band of his boxer briefs. “You… you… don’t stop .”

I moved my palm over his shaft as I continued to rain kisses across his neck and shoulder, claiming the drawing that represented three years of our friendship.

We’d passed the paper back and forth, adding odd touches here and there—a swirling constellation reminiscent of summer nights spent stargazing, the tent Julian had added after a camping trip so muddy and miserable we’d had to laugh our asses off, the flame from the bonfires we lit in the Thicks’ backyard firepit every winter night senior year while we discussed our plans for the future.

At the bottom, I’d added a pair of cupped hands that cradled the whole scene.

Finally, Julian had declared it perfect and locked the page away in his dresser, and I’d forgotten all about it.

Julian hadn’t.

He’d shocked the heck out of our friends and me when he’d whipped off his shirt at the lake one summer day and displayed his new ink.

I remembered Erin asking Julian what it symbolized and Julian simply saying, “Home.” And everyone had thought he’d meant Denver, or Colorado, or the mountains where we’d skied, but looking at it now, I knew exactly what he’d meant.

He’d meant us.

Because home was the two of us together.

I lifted my head to meet his eyes as my fingers came up to trace the designs I’d just worshiped. “You inked me into your skin, Julian. This is us right here. It’s always been us.”

He nodded, eyes filling with tears that I didn’t want him to cry. “I know,” he said in a broken voice. “But I’m so fucking scared you’re going to change your mind.”

“Jules—”

Julian tugged gently on my hair, forcing me to look at him.

“No, listen. I heard everything you said earlier, and I…” He licked his lips.

“I believe that you mean what you’re saying.

And the last thing I want to do is be needy or piss you off or, god, hurt your feelings because I love you.

But Parker, you have no idea what it’s been like all these years, falling for you a little more every day and then watching you get back together with Erin.

I get why you did,” he hurried to assure me.

“I know you were right earlier, too, when you said that if we’d gotten together at sixteen, we might not be the men we are, so I can’t regret the way things have worked out.

But as much as I want to just accept this—Christ, as much as I want to revel in it—” He ran trembling fingers over my jaw, and his blue eyes blazed hotter.

“I’m still scared. I don’t know how to make it go away. ”

Warmth and relief spread through my chest that he’d spoken his fear out loud. As long as we could talk to each other, we could work through this.

I ran a thumb over his bottom lip. “Babe. I’m scared, too.

I’m scared I’m not going to be enough for you.

Smart enough, rich enough, worldly enough.

I’m scared you’re going to be bored with a ski instructor who doesn’t like to travel very far from home and tells the same corny jokes over and over again. ”

Julian opened his mouth to reassure me, but I pressed it closed again with my thumb. “But then I remember that you’re my Jules. You love me for who I am. And you know me better than anyone else and fell in love with me anyway. At least… well… I don’t know about in love. But I know you love me.”

Jules pressed a kiss on my thumb before moving my hand away from his face.

His eyes shone with love and affection. “I have been in love with you most of my life. Having you here like this in my arms is a dream come true. And I want it to last. There’s not a world in which you could ever not be enough.

You’re more than enough. And you’re never boring.

Ever. You’re the most fun person I know, and you’re also the kindest person I know. ”

I leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. This time was different. The kiss was long and slow, patient and effortless. It was the unspoken agreement between us that we were both here, and we would do our best for each other.

When Julian finally pulled away, he looked freer. “I’m all in, Parks. But you’re probably going to need to be patient with me because it’s not that easy to go from thinking this was never possible—and that you were lost to me forever with Erin—to suddenly having you here with me like this.”

“I know. All I’m asking is that you trust me not to leave. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m going to fuck up, but it’s not going to be because I don’t love you or don’t want you.”

Julian’s eyes took on an unmistakable glint of mischief. “I might enjoy schooling you on the finer points of pleasing a man in bed.”

Blood surged southward. “Mm. I’m pretty sure I’m already an expert. I’ve been pleasing myself in bed for a long time,” I teased, pressing my hardening cock against his.

“Sure, but have you ever sucked yourself off? I think not.” Julian’s eyes widened when he felt my dick move. “Oh, what do we have here? Someone might want to try something new?”

“Fuck yeah,” I breathed, scrambling down under the covers to shuck his underwear off so I could put my mouth on him.

I threw the covers off and yanked the cotton boxer briefs down until his fat cock rolled across his lower belly. Clear, sticky fluid draped from his slit to the dark, tidy curls above. I glanced up at him from between his legs.

“I used to sneak peeks at this, you know,” I said, reaching my fingers around his thick shaft. “I was obsessed with finding out what your dick looked like.”

Julian’s voice was throaty and deeper than normal. “Meanwhile, I spent my time trying to hide my erections whenever you were around.” A corner of his mouth ticked up. “I would have whipped it out for you anytime had you just asked.”