Page 20 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

DECLAN

Another night, another callout to Matt’s bar because of the cast and crew of that damned movie.

I almost allowed the responding deputy to deal with it on his own. Almost. But then the dispatcher had described an occupancy hazard in the private function area, and I’d decided to make sure the crowd was dispersed without incident, a task that would work much better with more than one of us.

But as soon as I’d pulled into the bar’s parking lot and seen the flash of that blue sports car peeling out into the night, I’d turned right around and followed it as if the McLaren itself held a leash attached to my own neck.

I would simply make sure he got home okay. That was all.

It definitely wasn’t because I’d been missing the man since I’d walked out of his chalet the night before.

Or that I’d been obsessing about him messing around with that stupid sidekick of his.

Or that every time I’d closed my eyes the night before, I’d replayed the hurt expression that had flashed over his beautiful face before he’d locked his emotions down, and hated myself for becoming another person he had to put on a front for.

After radioing the other responding officer to let him know he was on his own, I settled in to follow the sports car up into the hills toward Rockley Lodge.

My plan went out the window the minute I saw his car almost drive off the road. Was he driving drunk? On these roads? Did he have a death wish?

I immediately turned on my lights and pulled him over. Once he was parked in a pullout that normally boasted a picturesque vista, I got out and approached the driver’s door.

“Step out of the vehicle.”

He turned to me, defiant and angry. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Our eyes locked for a few beats before he huffed and opened the door. As soon as he stepped out of the car, I wanted to pull him in my arms and thank every god in existence that his car hadn’t careened over the edge and tumbled into the valley. Instead, I began interrogating him.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?”

Finn’s eyes narrowed. “None of your damned business.”

“You were driving recklessly. Answer the question.”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, those arms whose ink had tasted warm and sweet against my tongue just last night.

“Fine. I had four drinks.”

Was he insane? He was too slender to handle that much alcohol and think he could still drive. “F-four drinks? What the fuck were you drinking?”

He leaned forward and hissed at me. “Ginger ale, asshole.”

The words caught me by surprise, so I couldn’t help but parrot them back at him. “Ginger ale?”

“Yes, but since you seem to think I’m a liar, I’m sure you don’t believe me.”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry seemed too pathetic.

Finn threw up his hands. “Go ahead and field test me. Again . Just like the other night in the parking lot. Go on. I dare you.”

I wanted to drop to my knees and beg his forgiveness. “You swerved.”

He let out a breath and suddenly looked tired. “My phone fell on the floor by my feet. It surprised me.”

“I thought…”

He gritted his teeth. “I know what you thought.”

“No. No . I thought you were going to run off the road, off the side of the fucking mountain, Finn. My heart…” My heart almost died in my chest .

I pressed a hand over my name tag. “My heart skipped a beat. I…” My breath came faster just thinking about it.

The mangled metal would have been completely inadequate to protect his fragile humanity.

Finn’s face softened. “I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

Now his face widened into a smirk. “Woah. It’s a miracle, ladies and gentlemen.”

“I was wrong. I’m…” I wanted to say more, to keep him there on the side of the mountain talking to me. Where I could touch him and feel the warm breath from his lips, smell the coffee and woodsmoke scent of him. But it wasn’t my right. “You’re free to go.”

Finn’s eyes flashed back and forth between mine like he was studying me. Possibility sparked in the air between us. Finally, he seemed to deflate. “Fine. Good night, Sheriff.”

He turned to go, but it felt like maybe my solar plexus was tied to his because I followed right after him. “Wait.”

He flicked a hand in the air over his shoulder. “It’s fine. You already apologized. Go home, Sheriff.”

“Stop calling me that,” I ground out. I hated him thinking of me as my office and not as a man. Of all people to reduce me to my job, he was the one who stung the most.

Finn spun around. “Why? That’s what you are.

That’s all you apparently want to be to me, right?

You made it perfectly clear last night. I’m nothing to you.

And you’re a big fat liar. You called me beautiful, Declan.

‘Inside and out,’ remember? And then you fucking left me naked and alone like a goddamned whore.

But it’s fine. I’m used to being used. It’s the story of my fucking life.

Just so we’re clear, Sheriff , I don’t need you. I never did.”

He got into the McLaren and sped off before the oxygen returned to fill my lungs.

His shaking voice betrayed his words as lies, and it was like he’d stripped me bare and left me bleeding on the side of the road.

Why did I feel this insane connection to him, and why did part of me think I’d gotten him all wrong?

It was like there were two parts of me battling each other.

One thought this kid was a spoiled dilettante I needed to protect my heart from, but the other…

the other saw this incredibly strong and fragile man who hid his damned light under a bushel.

A kindred soul who was afraid to let anyone see the real person underneath the mask in case the rest of the world found him lacking.

I scrambled behind the wheel of my SUV and sped off after him, hoping like hell it wasn’t too late to rip the bushel away and bask in the light of the real Finn Heller.

When I pulled up beside his car in front of the chalet, I saw a man on his front porch. Finn got to him first and confronted him.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t invite you here.” Finn looked both exhausted and annoyed. I’d begun to get a feel for what he must go through on a regular basis. I remembered him telling me last night that everyone wanted a piece of him. He’d sounded so alone. And so tired.

And I’d left him like he was nothing. Like I, too, had only used him for what it would get me.

I felt like an ass. I had to make it right, but first I had to get rid of this player.

The stranger was all smiles and hands in the air. “It’s cool, bro. I could tell you just needed a little privacy, and I respect that. I figured I’d make it easy on you by showing up here. Crys’s people hooked me up with a ride and told me which of these little buildings you were in.”

I put my hand on my weapon and walked over. “There a problem here?”

Finn looked at me with reluctant relief. His chin began to wobble, but he did his best to hold it together. “A simple misunderstanding. Jado is going to call a ride to take him back to wherever he’s staying.”

Once the man saw my uniform, he did an awkward kind of double take and held up his hands again. “Look, man, I don’t want any problems. I just thought…”

Finn said, “He’s not here for you. He’s here to get me to sign some papers about the incident the other night. But still. You need to go.”

Jado nodded his head. “Of course. No problem. Catch you later. I’ll just… walk out to the road and wait for a ride.”

“Be careful,” I couldn’t help but add. “Come back if you have any problems getting home safe.”

He shot me an appreciative smile and headed down the drive. I turned back to Finn. “Please give me a few minutes of your time,” I said in a low voice. “Then, if you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”

He blew out a breath and nodded before leading me into the chalet. After he kicked off his shoes, he turned on the fire and threw himself down on the little love seat, pulling the quilt around his shoulders like he was cold.

I closed and locked the door behind me before taking the chair next to the small sofa. I clasped my hands between my knees and leaned toward him, fighting every desire I had to touch some part of him and make a physical connection.

“I’m not used to trusting people,” I began.

“It’s not an excuse, but… I, ah…” God, I felt like a fool.

Dec, get your shit together. “I’ve never had this feeling like…

like I needed another person so desperately for no apparent reason.

” I gestured to my gut. “Like if I didn’t find a way to…

to be with you, to touch you, to find out more about you, I might just lose the fucking plot.

I panicked, Finn. I’m so fucking sorry. Please.

Please give me a chance to make it up to you. ”

As I spoke, his eyes filled with tears until they ran unchecked down his cheeks.

My heart squeezed tight enough to steal my breath away, something that seemed to happen a lot around him.

I didn’t understand it, but I was tired of trying to figure it out.

I just wanted to hold him and stop fighting against the need to rationalize it.

“Please come here,” I whispered. “And let me hold you. That’s all. Just that would be enough.”

He uncurled from the quilt and climbed over into my lap, tucking his wet face into my neck and wrapping his shaking arms around me. “I’m so tired, Dec,” he said.

“I know, baby,” I said softly against his hair. “I can see that. And I’m so sorry I made it worse.”

I stood up and carried him to bed before pulling both our clothes off until we were down to our underwear.

We slid under the covers and came back together in a twist of limbs.

Finn fell asleep while the sheets were still cool against our skin, and I held him for a long time, thinking back over everything he’d said.

And everything I’d said.

I’d exposed my feelings which left me feeling raw, but I’d also seen the truth of his own feelings, how the harsh smack of my rejection had hit him after I’d told him he was beautiful. How could I have done that?

I pressed kisses against the top of his head and murmured my apologies even though he wasn’t awake to hear them.

For those few moments in the dark calm of the summer night, I let myself wonder if there was any kind of future an almost forty-year-old sheriff could possibly cobble together with a twenty-four-year-old superstar deep in the middle of a high-profile acting career.

It was impossible. How could I even daydream about it? I wanted nothing to do with LA ever again, and Finn would never want to leave it.

I ran my fingers through the longer hair on top of his head, feeling the silken locks slide along my skin. What if I could give him a temporary reprieve from the demanding life he lived back home? What if I could be a safe haven for him for just a little while?

At some point I fell asleep and was awakened later to the insistent press of a hard dick against my stomach. I reached down and stroked it, pulling a sleepy groan out of Finn that made me smile.

“Feeling a little better?” I mumbled into his hair.

“Mm. Feeling a big sheriff in my bed,” he said, running hands over my chest and shoulders as he shifted to lie on top of me. He was warm from sleep, and I wanted to hold him there and drink in the sexy feel of him for a little longer.

“You’re definitely making things bigger,” I admitted, pressing my own dick up into his.

Finn seemed to remember the seriousness from earlier because his playful, sexy mood suddenly disappeared, and his weary expression returned. “Are you just here to?—”

“No. Whatever you were going to say, please don’t say it,” I urged. “I get why you’d think that, but… no. I want to be with you right now, even if there’s no sex involved.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying you don’t want sex?”

I suddenly found myself caught in a trap. If I said I wanted him, he might think I was only using him for sex. If I said I didn’t want sex, well, then I’d be a fucking liar.

I opened my mouth to respond but had no idea what to say. Of course I wanted sex with him. Who wouldn’t?

Finn began giggling. “The look on your face right now.”

Brat.

I rolled him over until I was on top of him, pressing my own hard shaft into his inner thigh. “Are you saying you don’t want sex?” I growled before leaning in to suck on his earlobe.

He sucked in a breath. “N-no. Not saying that. Not saying it at all. I want the sex. All the sex.”

I moved to his mouth and tasted his lips. They were full and sweet, and when I felt them curve into a smile against mine, I felt an odd little flip in my gut.

I reached down and shoved his underwear away until I could grip his dick and stroke it again. He was manscaped in a fussy way like some of the men in LA I’d hooked up with. I tried not to imagine who else had seen him like this. The thought of it made me want to snarl and snap.

Finn fumbled into my own shorts and clasped my cock until we were jacking each other off and panting into each other’s mouths.

“Lube,” he said on a gasp, rolling away to grab a tube from the nightstand. “Here.”

I slicked my hands up and grabbed both of our cocks together, staring down at the sight of them rubbing hard against each other. The edge of his tip caught against mine with every stroke.

“Fuck,” I groaned. It was quick and hot, a slick frot that had us humping wildly into my grip until both of us cried out and came in my hand.

When I finally caught my breath, I let out a laugh. “That was embarrassingly fast.”

Finn closed his eyes and grinned, clearly enjoying his afterglow. “It would have been faster if I’d let myself peek at my dick in your big hand.”

I kissed his forehead and pushed up so I could clean my hands off and find a washcloth for his stomach.

While I waited for the sink water to heat up, I looked at myself in the mirror.

My hair was a rat’s nest, and I had beard burn across my neck and chest, but both of those paled in comparison to the big dumb grin on my face.

I wanted to give that sweet, sexy man the world. But he was a multimillion-dollar movie star who was used to having everything he wanted, right? A bouquet of flowers or a candlelight dinner would seem… trite compared to the things he’d probably gotten from other lovers.

Are you trying to woo him now? What is this?

I rinsed and wrung out the cloth before turning off the water. Maybe not woo him, but I wanted to give him something to let him know the vulnerability wasn’t one-sided. He’d let me see a tender side of him, and he deserved to see the same from me.

As soon as I walked back into the bedroom and saw him there, I realized one thing I could give him.