Page 19 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

I tried to think of some way of encapsulating why this stuff was important. It was important to know it, not just to pass a class.

“It’s like a shorthand. But it’s also a kind of recorded history. You know why we study the Holocaust?”

He rolled his eyes like a typical teenager. “Yes. So history doesn’t repeat itself. So we know what happened.”

I nodded. “Shakespeare wrote The Merchant of Venice in 1596 about Europe’s Christians and their problematic relationship with Europe’s Jewish population.”

Solo looked surprised. “That prejudice stuff was happening back then?”

“Yes. And look at his play Twelfth Night and its exploration and commentary on gender identity. He wrote that around the year 1600, Solo. Viola says, ‘I am all the daughters of my father’s house, / And all the brothers too.’ She’s dressed as her brother.

But here’s the thing. Her role had to be played on the Elizabethan stage by a man. ”

Solo nodded. “I know that much.”

“So we have a man playing a woman playing a man. It’s a statement on gender and whether or not it can be defined by simply putting on a costume or playing a role. Underneath, the person is who they are regardless of the costume.”

“So he… he was into LGBT stuff?”

I wondered if this was what it felt like when a fisherman finally felt a tug on his line.

His interest was sparked, and I felt like I’d won a prize at a fair.

“Heterosexual and homosexual as terms didn’t exist back then.

So we have to look at it differently rather than with our modern-day binary language.

Did you know he wrote 126 of his sonnets to a young man?

But as early as 1640, editors were already changing the pronouns to make them more palatable. ”

“You really know a lot about this stuff,” he said.

Understatement of the century . “When I was thirteen, I realized I was gay. For some reason, the stress of it manifested itself as severe stage fright. I was a few years into my role on Cast in Clover , and suddenly I was in jeopardy of losing it all. My mom found a performance therapist, and before you ask, yes, there is such a thing in LA. Her name is Roshawna, and she changed my life. But she’s a Shakespeare geek.

All of her exercises used his works, and by the end of it I had monologues and soliloquies memorized, and I’d caught the bug. ”

“When, uh… when did you come out? Like… how did you handle all that?”

God, where did I even begin? My pause must have worried him, because he quickly added, “Not that you need to share that with me. I didn’t mean to ask something so personal or anything.”

I gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. I’ll tell you what. Agree to give me one hour to help you with your class and I’ll answer all of your questions about coming out. Sound good? We can meet up in the park on Saturday morning as long as no one recognizes me and interrupts us.”

I knew better than to arrange to meet a teenager in private somewhere, but I wasn’t sure what the alternative would be if we got mobbed.

He looked at me skeptically. “What’s in it for you? Why are you offering to help me like this? Am I some kind of charity case you’re going to…” He seemed to realize how rude the question was. “Sorry, it’s just… why would you do this for me?”

I swallowed my usual instinct to keep this geeky part of me to myself. “Teaching someone to love this stuff as much as I do would be pretty damned amazing.”

After exchanging cell numbers with Solo, I left the diner lighter than I’d entered it. Sure, there was still the pesky issue of a sheriff running hot and cold on me and a film director bound and determined to put me in harm’s way. But at least I had a teaching gig lined up for the weekend.

Chaos reigned on set when I arrived. I discovered we were starting primary filming on some of the climbing scenes sooner than I expected, so I met with the team to walk through the first scene on the ground several times and go over some of the technical issues involved in getting the angles Nolan wanted.

“We’ll only have the helicopter for a few hours on Monday, so we’ll need to get it shot without too many takes,” Shelly said.

I tried not to let the show runner’s words stress me out, but when she repeated the warning several more times throughout the day, it was hard to keep the pressure from getting to me.

I found a few spare minutes at the end of the day to ring Franklin and ask his advice on the best way to approach the thing with Solo.

“He said the first thing he needs help with is interpreting the use of the ghost in Hamlet.”

Franklin sighed over the line, his snobbish attitude as familiar to me as the “Brevity is the soul of wit” sign that hung crookedly above his desk in his cluttered campus office. “Lord, what fools these mortals be,” he muttered.

I barked out a laugh. “Dude, it’s small-town high school English class. The teacher probably doubles as the soccer coach.”

“Yes, yes, it’s going to be a question on the AP exam for all the same reasons.

People are idiots. As for luring this kid over to the dark side, consider mentioning The Lion King as a modern-day Hamlet .

That often blows the mind. What else? Oh.

The Patrick Swayze ghost movie. The one with the pottery. What’s that one called?”

“ Ghost .”

“Impertinent child,” he chided. “So it is. The use of ghosts to deliver messages from the main character to themselves is well-known, but perhaps not put in so many words for a teenager to have realized it before. I also suggest… what’s the one with Bruce Willis and the child?”

“ Sixth Sense .”

“Yes, that one. If he’s seen it, you can discuss the use of spiritual communication. However, if he has not seen it, don’t spoil the damned thing for him.”

I loved that he wanted to protect a stranger from ruining a twenty-year-old film. “Okay.”

“And discuss the concept of conscience. Use Scrooge, etc.”

When we finished the call, I thanked him profusely for his help and told him I planned on taking him to lunch when I was back in LA in September.

“Promises, promises,” he muttered before hanging up. The conversation left me with a big smile on my face. Knowing Frank, he was secretly happy I’d come to him for advice. And he knew he’d be the first call I made as soon as I returned to the city from filming.

I was in such a good mood that I agreed to yet another night at the Roadhouse with the cast and crew.

Even though Shelly had arranged for us all to have a private back room this time, it was still a huge mistake.

Crystobell had brought a fashion vlogger with her and was busy chatting about clothes, but the vlogger had invited a man I recognized from a release party last year.

He’d been on the arm of a gossip columnist.

I made a point to sit between Logan and Kix, but somehow after going to the bar to get refills, Kix had wound up on the other end of the long table talking to one of the fans Shelly had invited into our room as a special treat.

The gossip columnist dude moved around to take Kix’s abandoned chair. “I’m Jado,” he said with a flirty grin. “And you’re goddamned adorable up close.”

“Thanks,” I said with my media smile. “I think I remember you from the Rampart release party.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “That party was wild, man. I barely remember it.”

Logan leaned over and spoke low in my ear. “Shelly is going to let a few more fans in here. That okay with you?”

It was so nice of him to ask, I immediately agreed like an idiot.

Jado laughed and leaned against my shoulder. “Man, that night was sick. You were there with… gosh, I can’t remember now. Who were you with?”

I’d been there with Iris’s assistant, Dawson, because he’d begged for an introduction to one of my co-stars.

“What do you do, Jado?” I asked, as if he hadn’t been talking about the party.

He laughed again and nudged my shoulder harder. “I work in online marketing. It’s not as boring as it sounds, I promise.”

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about any of this. I was at a private party with some of the world’s biggest celebrities, and all I wanted to do was go home and pull out my well-worn copy of Hamlet so I could think up exercises for Solomon.

“That’s great,” I said instead. Thankfully, the fans Shelly invited into the room quickly surrounded us, begging for selfies and autographs.

For once, I was happy to engage with anyone and everyone in Aster Valley who wanted to meet me, but I quickly realized doing this in the evening at a place that served alcohol wasn’t the best idea.

Many of the fans were getting handsy.

I made my way over to Shelly and told her I needed someone to help keep people from getting in my personal space. She laughed. “I thought you were joking when you expressed security concerns to Nolan.”

I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell she was talking about since that wasn’t at all what had happened, when Jado came up behind me and slid his arms around my front like he had rights to my body. I quickly pulled him off me and lifted an eyebrow at Shelly.

She dropped her smile and nodded. “I’ll call the sheriff’s office and see if we can’t get?—”

“No!” I blurted before she could finish.

The last thing I wanted was Sheriff Stone coming out yet again to find me surrounded by fans like an idiot.

This was my fault. I should have known the private room wouldn’t make a difference, and I’d even said yes to inviting more people into it.

“Not necessary. Actually, I’ve got those climbing scenes in the morning, so I’m going to go. ”

She nodded and agreed that was probably a good idea considering my call schedule the following day.

When I turned to make my apologies, Jado begged me to stay for another drink. I politely declined. After finally pushing my way out of the bar and into the clear night, I noticed Jado jogging up behind me.

“Please god let me come home with you. Let me blow your mind. I’d give anything to suck you off.”

My stomach turned over. I didn’t feel physically threatened by him at all, but I’d also heard enough horror stories not to be naive about interactions with fans.

“No, thank you. I really need to get some sleep.”

“At least let me have your number so we can arrange another night,” he said with that same flirty smile.

I shook my head, wondering if I should tell him to try it on with Kix since Kix was usually up for anything. But I didn’t want to be responsible for Kix saying something stupid that might end up online, so I kept my mouth shut.

“Good night,” I finally said, wishing I had a standard set of keys instead of this useless Senturion key on my wrist.

Thankfully, he didn’t follow me to the car.

I drove away with shaky hands and a familiar feeling of being terrible at the public-facing side of this business.

Even though Roshawna had been a miracle worker in helping me tackle my acting nerves, I’d never felt fully confident in front of the public again.

Maybe it was a side effect of growing up.

Maybe all young children had nerves of steel and lost them at some point along the way.

Regardless, the drive back to the chalet was filled with second-guessing and negative self-talk, the exact opposite of the way I’d begun the day.

No. Unacceptable. I reached for my phone to connect it to the car so I could play some cheer-up music on the way up the mountain, but the phone slid out of my hand and tumbled to the floor beneath my feet.

I swerved a little but quickly gave up on retrieving my phone in order to concentrate on the curvy turns.

Blue lights instantly flashed in my rearview mirror.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck .