Page 75 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

JULIAN

I was crazy to consider this, I knew that. I’d returned home from Mikey and Tiller’s determined to be strong and logical, to preserve my friendship with Parker at all costs.

But then I’d seen Parker looking at that note he’d written me a billion years ago, and his whole face had glowed with love and affection, and then he’d called me sweetheart , and really, what was I supposed to do with that?

How many people who were presented with everything they’d always wanted had the strength to say, “Nah, I’m good”?

Not me. Not right now. Not when this beautiful soul was overflowing with love and tenderness for me at the same time his perfect, athletic body held me firmly in his sexy grip.

Seeing the Grindr twink snuggled up on my sofa throwing flirtatious glances at my person had turned my nervous energy into lightning bolts of jealousy. Parker was mine. Mine . And all I could think was how stupid I’d have to be to let anyone else have him.

There wasn’t time to think about Erin and how I’d foolishly “let” her have him for the past decade or so. There wasn’t time to talk to Parker about the dozens of things we really needed to discuss. There wasn’t time for much of anything other than staking my claim however temporary it might be.

And I knew it would be temporary. By getting naked again with Parker, I was throwing us both into a thorny bramble that would be nearly impossible to escape without multiple points of pain.

But for once, I didn’t want to make the logical, considered decision.

I wanted to be selfish and spontaneous. I wanted to throw off the heavy shackles of responsibility and expectation I’d clamped around my feelings for Parker in a vain attempt to tame my raw, possessive need and wild longing into something simpler, and safer, and more palatable.

If Parker wanted me, then he was going to get me.

All of me.

God help him.

I found the elastic edge of his boxer briefs and slid my fingers under it.

My heart thundered, and my dick hardened enough to make me shift my legs.

My brain didn’t have the capacity for the words, but my fingers had the capacity to explore, and my mouth had the capacity to taste.

I was acutely conscious of the throbbing in my groin, the warm exhales of his breath, the way his back ended in the delicious rounded muscles of an incredible ass.

As soon as I crossed the line, Parker exploded into action.

His head turned sharply to seek my lips, and his hands clutchedthe back of my sweater and began to yank it up.

Short curses escaped his mouth that almost made me laugh.

“Thank fucking god… holy fuck… thought you… mpfh… taste good. Love you. Love this. Fucking let me… yeah…”

Before I knew it, my chest was bare, my pants were open, and I’d managed to sneak a finger down into the hot cleft between his cheeks. That wasn’t how things usually went for me with guys. I’d always been the one in charge. I topped. I controlled.

I dominated.

“Park,” I said, gasping for breath between hungry kisses.

“No, no stopping. Don’t you dare.” He yanked at my pants, mumbling curses when they caught on my boots.

“Not stopping, but?—”

“No buts.” He leaned over and tossed one of my boots toward the door before grabbing the other. I gripped his bare back to keep from falling over.

He made me so happy. Parker was light and love, fun and exploration.

He’d always pierced my darkness with rays of blinding sun.

If he wanted to try this, I would give it to him.

Obviously, it was no sacrifice on my part since I’d fantasized about it thousands of times, but he didn’t know that. He thought I had one foot out the door.

“I’m here,” I reassured him. “Not leaving. I want this.”

Parker finished pulling off my clothes and stood up to face me again. “You sure?” He looked nervous about my answer, as if I could and would pull the rug right out from under him.

I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, but I nodded.

After a pause to make sure I wasn’t going to say anything more, he leaned in and kissed me.

This time, it was soft and sweet. “Thank fuck,” he breathed against my lips, running his palms up my chest to my shoulders.

His hands had a slight tremble that made my heart hurt for him.

Parker was nervous.

I wondered how he’d feel when he realized who was going to run this show. Would it freak him out? Make him realize he didn’t want to be with a man after all?

Was I willing to be less dominant for fear of scaring him off?

The answer to that was a resounding no. I felt deep down that Parker needed someone to take him in hand, lead him through this in a way that left no room for second-guessing.

“Take your clothes off,” I said. “And go get on the bed.”

Instead of the curl of amused smile Parker usually gave me when I bossed him around about other things, he opened his mouth in a surprised little “o” shape.

I lifted my eyebrows. “Listen to what I’m saying, Parks.”

He turned toward the bedroom with a muttered “I’ve never been this hard in my life and you expect me to walk?”

I bit my tongue against a laugh. “If you want something badly enough…” I teased.

When he got to the bedroom, he pulled off the rest of his clothes and crawled onto the bed, flashing his delectable bare ass at me.

That ass is mine.

I wasn’t at all sure what he was up for, but I knew I needed to get my hands on his ass, if nothing else.

He turned around and reached for my wrist to yank me closer. “I want it badly,” he said in a rough voice. “Really fucking badly.”

I climbed on top of him and reveled in the sensation of sliding my bare body across his. Rough body hair, hard muscular planes, the fat roll of his dick… all of it made me dizzy with indecision. Where the hell was I supposed to begin? I wanted it all.

I started by kissing his freckled shoulder and then moving down to take one of his nipples into my mouth. I kept my eyes on him to watch his reactions, but his eyes were glassy enough to reassure me we were still okay.

My hands couldn’t get enough of him. His body was familiar to me—we’d undressed in front of each other many times in locker rooms and at sleepovers, pool parties, and drunken dares—but I’d never been allowed to truly look .

And I wasn’t about to waste this opportunity.

“You’re fucking built,” I muttered, moving over to his other nipple. “You live on potato chips and onion dip, and yet you have this incredible body.”

Parker’s fingers pushed into my hair, and his gaze turned sweetly affectionate. “I love you.”

His words made my stomach swoop low and loop around. I swallowed. “I don’t want you to be here with me like this just because you love me. I want you to?—”

Parker grabbed my face and pulled me forward until our mouths were crushed against each other in a feral kiss with teeth and tongue. The breath rushed out of me, and my head spun.

Okay, this wasn’t simple affection. This was raw attraction. Point taken.

I humped against his stomach, pressing hard into the muscular plane of his abs to seek friction for my desperate dick.

“I want to fuck you,” I groaned, trying so hard to let go of my hesitation. “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long.”

Parker wrapped his legs around mine and arched his own dick up into my inner thigh. “Go slow, though?”

I pulled back in surprise. “You’d let me?”

Parker’s hands stayed on my face and caressed my cheeks. “I’d let you do anything you want. I trust you, and I want to make you feel good.”

“How can you be so cool with this? Why aren’t you freaking out?”

He brushed my hair back and continued to sift his fingers through it. “Because it’s you. I’m comfortable with you. I don’t have secrets from you, Jules. If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you, and I know you’ll listen.”

“Yeah, but?—”

“I feel like you’re waiting for me to be upset about having sex with a man, and I hope to hell that’s not the case because it’s insulting.

My best friends are gay. I’ve heard many, many graphic stories of gay sex and seen plenty of gay porn.

I’m here naked with you, excited to try things and explore this.

Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, and let’s enjoy this. Okay?”

Why was he suddenly more mature than I was?

“I just don’t understand how you can go from being with women to being attracted to me so quickly.”

“Babe. I told you it isn’t as sudden as you think.

And I am attracted to you because I love you so much.

Because you’re my favorite person in the world and the only person I’d want to try this new thing with.

Does that make sense? I trust you. I know you won’t judge me if I do things wrong or act weird. ”

I thought about how good I felt with our bare bodies pressed together. “You can’t do things wrong,” I admitted with a grin. “Stay naked and touching me, and we’re good.”

Parker’s hands moved around me and down my back to my ass. He squeezed it and got a playful look on his face. “What about me fucking you? We could try that, too, right?”

I leaned in and kissed him. It was still crazy to me that I was allowed to kiss Parker Ellis. After all this time, I could simply lean over and kiss him. Or suck his dick. Or offer him my ass.

“You’re breathing fast,” he said, pulling back to put a little space between us. “What just went through your head? Was it the fucking you thing, because we don’t have to do that. I know you’re a t-top.”

Talking about this with him was strange enough, but remembering just how much he might know about my sex life made it even weirder.

“No, it wasn’t that. I think I’m still trying to convince myself I’m actually allowed to touch and kiss you. Part of me keeps waiting for you to shove me away and say you made a mistake or this is all a joke.”

I could see the truth in his eyes. He wanted to be here, and he didn’t want me to feel unsure. But there was a difference between my brain knowing it and my gut knowing it.

His voice was gentle. “If you knew I wouldn’t say no, what would you want to do to me right now?”

I took a breath and told him the truth. “I’d want to hold you down and suck your dick until you begged for release.

I’d want to edge you over and over until you cried.

I’d want to tell you to lie still while I ate your ass and fingered you until you realized what you’d been missing all these years by not playing with your prostate, and then I’d want to shove my dick so deep inside you your eyes rolled back in your head. ”

As I spoke, I felt his cock jump against my inner thigh. One of his hands moved from my ass to the cleft between my cheeks, and an experimental finger ran down the top of it. “You… want all of that? With me?”

His voice was husky and raw in a way I’d never heard before.

“More than you could ever know,” I confessed. “Let me have you, Parks. Just this once.”

He shook his head, and my heart plummeted. But then he spoke. “Not just this once.”

“You don’t know how you’ll feel,” I began, but he cut me off.

“I know exactly how I feel. And this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. So, yes. All of that. I want to try all of that with you.” His eyes had turned a little glassy again, and I decided to trust the signs. He wanted me. He was turned on by the thought of being with me.

And that was enough.

For now.

I moved slowly down his body, dropping openmouthed kisses along the way and memorizing the patterns of the freckles I’d always wanted to worship. “Don’t move,” I warned before running my chin down his hard cock.

He threw his head back on the pillow and groaned. “You haven’t even started yet and I’m afraid I’m going to come all over your face.”

I waited until he looked back down at me. “Then come all over my face,” I said and opened my mouth to begin.