Page 33

Rafael

The following day, Cody came downstairs and poured himself a bowl of cereal in complete silence.

I knew he was hurt. I knew what I did was fucked up, but I had to do it. This needed to stop. Whatever little game he was planning needed to come to an end.

I got up from the sofa, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat across from him at the little table. Cody didn’t look up. He kept his head down in a book the entire time he ate. Once he finished, he rose from his seat and left through the back door.

I peeked out the window to see him make his way to the dock by the lake. There was a little boat there, and my heart nearly stopped when I saw it. My legs moved without me realizing it. I ran down the grassy slope as he sat in the boat.

“No. Don’t take this thing out. It’s a fucking death trap. This whole cabin is. Nothing here is less than thirty years old, and you shouldn’t be taking this thing out on a lake.”

He said nothing. Cody continued unwrapping the rope that tethered the boat to a wooden pole.

“Cody, did you hear me?”

Nothing. He tossed the untied rope into the boat and grabbed the oars.

My hand latched onto his wrist. “Don’t do this, Cody.”

His eyes didn’t meet mine. He used the handle of the other oar to smack my hand away.

Cody started rowing the boat from the dock, and I screamed, “Look, I get it—you’re mad. You can do whatever you want, just don’t do this. Not this, Cody.”

Nothing. He continued rowing, and my heart traveled further up into my throat. He was nearly a quarter across the lake in the blink of an eye. “Where are you going?” I shouted.

Nothing. Cody said nothing. I ran my fingers through my hair and sat down on the dock. My hands shook and my vision blurred. I needed alcohol. The feeling was too much, and I needed to numb it. As I returned to the cabin, I remembered Sue taking my bottle.

Once I remembered it was gone, I fell to my knees and screamed into my hands.

Cody

I’d spent the whole day on the lake. The gentle rocking of the waves lulled me into a meditative state as I lay on the boat floor, gazing up at the sky. The sun vanished behind a blanket of billowy clouds. The warmth of the day didn’t feel oppressive like it had yesterday. The temperature felt amazing, a perfect balance between the hidden sun and the breeze from the lake.

I thought of nothing and everything at the same time. My eyes fell into the clouds above, while every encounter with Rafael played like a montage. There was no sound. It was just a series of grainy images featuring Rafael: the day he came for the wedding, when he moved in, our first fight in the car, his face at the hockey tryouts, his hand holding mine in the car. They all flashed in my mind like a slideshow.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I knew, cool droplets of rain jolted me awake. There was no way of knowing what time it was, but I imagined I slept for hours. The sky above morphed into a dark canopy of clouds. I sat up once I heard the rumble of thunder and rowed back to the cabin.

It took me a while to get back. The boat must have drifted further away from shore because it was nearly dark when I returned. Lightning ripped through the sky, and a steady downpour followed. I tied the boat to the post and pulled the cover to keep the rain out. Then, I made my way up the grassy hill to the cabin.

The lights were out. Rafael was probably snoozing on the couch, and I dreaded seeing him again. As I approached the door, I decided that I’d make something quick for dinner, take it up to the bedroom, and eat alone.

Tomorrow, I’d call Sue and beg her to pick us up. I had no aspirations of making anything work between the two of us. His rejection of me last night still stung, and the idea of spending another five days in this cabin with Rafael made my gut coil.

I was done—time to go home.

I flipped the light switch and gasped at the state of the cabin. Papers were strewn across the floor, dishes sat on the countertops, the sofa was overturned, and the chairs lay on their sides. I ran into the kitchen, and every cabinet had been emptied. An open bottle of isopropyl lay on the floor, its contents spilling out.

Where is he?

I thought someone broke in. The place looked ransacked. Rafael was nowhere to be found. I ran to the phone to call Sue or the police; I hadn’t decided which one, but there was no dial tone. “Fuck. Fuck.”

Panic took hold of me as I ran about the cabin looking for Rafael.

Did he do this? Was he attacked?

I needed to look for him.

I ran upstairs to get a flashlight and almost screamed when I saw him sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. The bedroom was a mess. The nightstands were emptied of their drawers, and the bedding was torn apart.

I ran to him, the questions on the tip of my tongue, until I got closer. Rafael was trembling. His lifeless eyes didn’t look at me. They stared straight ahead, looking past the wall.

I turned his face to look at me. “Rafael. What happened? What did you do?”

He said nothing, and his bloodshot eyes scared me. Did he—

Fuck. The Isopropyl. Did he drink it? Was he shaking because he drank it?

“Rafael, tell me what you did? Did you drink that shit downstairs? What’s happening to you?”

Nothing. He said nothing. His eyes didn’t look at anything. They just stared into the abyss.

He drank it. He must have, or he wouldn’t be acting like that. “Let’s go.” I tried to drag him to a standing position. I wanted to take him to the bathroom and make him throw up. He didn’t budge. He suddenly weighed four hundred pounds because I couldn’t move him. “Rafael, get up. You have to get this out of your system.”

He ripped his hand away from me and folded his arms around his body. The trembling intensified, and his eyes drooped.

“FUCK.”

I ran downstairs to the bathroom.

Ipecac. I need ipecac—something to induce vomiting.

The bathroom was also a mess. Everything under the sink was scattered about the floor. My hands gripped anything I could find as I checked labels.

No. No. No. No.

Nothing I could use. The cabinets were empty. Everything was a mess on the floor. I ran to the kitchen looking for something that might make him puke. What was I thinking?

I should just stick my fucking fingers down his throat. Am I an idiot?

I bolted back upstairs, but he was gone when I ran into the bedroom.

“Rafael!”

I ran to the first floor. “Where is he?”

I ran out the front door and looked up and down the street. By now, it was a full-on deluge outside. The trees billowed in the wind, and lightning ripped through the sky. I circled the house, going to the back when I saw him.

Rafael was in the rowboat with the untied rope draped over his lap, and he had an oar in each hand. “NO!”

My feet never moved faster. I sprinted down the hill screaming for him to stop. He paddled faster. The rain was so heavy that I lost sight of him.

I released a series of curses as I pulled at my hair. What could I do? I had to think. I had to get to him.

Boat. I needed a boat. The horizontal rain pierced my skin as I darted through the yards searching for another dock. The first one had nothing. The second had a motorboat.

Perfect.

Once inside the boat, I unfastened the tether and pulled the cord.

It didn’t start. “Come on you, fucker!” I pulled again and again and again. Finally, it started.

“Hey! What the hell!” The boat’s owner stood on the deck at the rear of his cabin.

“I’ll bring it back!” I cried out.

I have to find him. Please, God, let me find him.