Page 31

Rafael

I was in the garage applying ice to basically my entire body. Hank stood across from me, clutching a beer and shaking his head. “What happened, Rafael? I thought you two were getting along, and then that? You two looked like you were going to kill each other.”

There was a time when I could have killed Cody, but that’s not what I was trying to do during our fight. I wanted to push him away. If I hit hard enough, I thought he’d see what a monster I was and back down. Instead, he hit me back harder. He matched me punch for punch. Cody wasn’t backing down. God, I hated how I loved it. That little brat knew what he was doing.

Each hit that connected with Cody’s face made me want to stop the fight and kiss the bruise.

I wanted to wrap it up, apply ice, and make it better. That boy had sunk so deep within me that each time my hand touched him, I wanted to cut off one of my fingers as punishment for hurting his beautiful face.

My jaw throbbed as I applied ice to it. I couldn’t help but hope that Cody was okay. I didn’t want him to be hurt. I knew what a hypocrite I was, because I’d done nothing but hurt Cody since I arrived, but I was leaving to stop that. He didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve him.

Jill walked into the garage a moment later. She looked at me as she sighed. “Are you hurt?” she asked.

I shook my head. I didn’t mind physical pain. It was a lot easier than the other kind.

“How’s Cody?” I asked.

Hank and Jill both looked at me with shock in their eyes. I imagine they didn’t expect me to care, but I really fucking cared. A lot.

“I don’t think anything is broken. Other than most of my furniture,” Jill responded.

Good one, Jill.

“Let’s go to the living room and discuss how we handle this,” she added.

“Are we sure that’s a good idea?” Hank asked.

“I won’t do anything,” I assured them. “I promise. And whatever you want to do to me, I’ll accept it.”

They both looked at each other. Hank shook his head, and Jill pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead. “We’ll figure it out after we talk.”

“I’m sorry this happened right before your party,” I told Jill.

She smiled and patted my shoulder. “I texted the Pastor and told him I had to cancel due to a family emergency. He’ll let the others know.”

We entered the kitchen, and I could see Cody sitting on the sofa with an icepack over his eye. It looked like a bomb had gone off in the living room. The only positive thing to come out of that fight was the destruction of Jill’s creepy collection of sad children. I knew I’d get rid of those somehow.

Cody looked up at me with his one good eye as we entered the room. There wasn’t anger or hate in his stare. He just looked at me. I couldn’t help but stare back at him. The impulse to sit next to him confused me. How could we still feel things this strongly when we were so bad for each other? We were so unbelievably fucked.

Sue sat on the arm of the sofa next to Cody. Since there was nowhere else to sit except beside him, I dragged a chair from the kitchen into the living room and sat down.

Silence fell upon the room. I’m not sure how anyone expected to begin a rational conversation after the brawl that had just taken place.

Finally, Hank said, “Boys, this can’t happen. We get that things are tense, but this is the last straw. You can’t live in a house together like this.”

“I should just go back to Connecticut now,” I blurted out.

Cody made a sound. I looked over at him, and it was the first time since I sat down that he looked at me with anger in his eyes.

“Rita is away,” Jill added.

“I’m not twelve. I can take care of myself until she gets back,” I said.

Sue scoffed and blurted out, “Are you forgetting the reason you’re here is because you wrecked a car drunk driving, kiddo? Do you really think your Mom will be cool if Hank drops you off completely unattended?”

“I could stay with him,” Hank said. “Until Rita gets back.”

Jill wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with that.”

“Why?” I asked.

Cody released a crazed laugh and said, “Maybe she’s not wild about her husband hanging out at his ex-wife’s house you fucking idiot.”

Jill gasped and yelled at Cody, but I knew he was right. Mom wouldn’t be back from her holiday until the end of July. Why would Jill want her husband gone for three weeks?

Sue rose from her seat on the sofa arm and stood next to Jill. “Look, whatever the hell is happening between the two of you needs to get fixed. You’ll be stepbrothers forever, whether you like it or not. You’re both eighteen years old for Christ’s sake, so start acting like adults.” She paced around the room, biting her nail. She looked over at Cody, who stared back at her with his one poor eye, glassy with tears. “You’re both coming to my cabin. Go upstairs and pack your shit,” she said.

Um…excuse me? We nearly killed each other, and the resolution would somehow come from a trip to the woods? Was this chick insane?

Jill’s gaze shot between Cody and me. “Sue, that’s…”

Hank finished her thought. “That seems like a bad idea.”

“Yes, it does,” I added.

“No, it’s an excellent idea,” Sue replied with her hands on her hips. “The last thing your parents need is this bullshit. If you two are going to fight like hell, do it at my piece of shit cabin. You’ll stay there for a week and work out whatever the hell is happening here.”

“What about the hockey team?” I asked.

“Weren’t you planning on ditching the team in a few weeks anyway?” Cody responded. “Besides. It’s only a week. People go on vacations during the summer.”

This was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard. There was no way I would be alone in a cabin with Cody. I couldn’t see how that would end well at all, and I was ready to tell this bitch that. “I don’t think—”

Sue raised a finger and spoke as she approached me. “I don’t think I give a shit what you think, Rafael. You,” she pointed to me, “and you,” then to Cody, “are not staying here while this is happening. Jill doesn’t need it, Hank doesn’t need it, and I don’t use the damn cabin anyway. I can’t think of a better use for it than this. You two will work this out. Period.” Sue sauntered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. The four of us left in the living room just looked at one another, completely gobsmacked. Sue walked back in holding a beer and shouted, “Now! Go pack now!”

Cody

I didn’t know what Sue had up her sleeve, but something told me this was her way of throwing me a lifeline. If I wanted an opportunity to break through Rafael’s bullshit, this was it. Being alone with him for an entire week in the woods was the Hail Mary pass I needed. If Rafael still left after a week together, I could accept it. Would it hurt? You bet your ass, but at least I’d know I gave it my best fucking shot.

Sue was waiting in the car as I put my bag in the trunk and sat on the passenger’s side. Mom and Hank followed me out to watch this crazy shit show unfold. Mom looked beyond worried. I’m sure she was terrified about what might happen between us.

Rafael walked out of the house with his duffle bag and stood in the center of the yard. “Is this really happening?” he asked. “Hank, don’t you think this is a little ridiculous?”

Sue answered before Hank had a chance. “Shut your mouth and get in the car, you little shit!”

The look on Rafael’s face told me that he genuinely might be afraid of Sue. It almost made me chuckle. Rafael, the big, bad Alpha dog, had met his match in Sue. He ambled over to the trunk and threw his stuff in, slamming the lid with too much force, then huffed into the backseat.

Sue started the car and backed out of the driveway, calling out to Mom and Hank, “Have a romantic week alone while I take care of these two lunkheads!”

Then, in true Sue fashion, she rolled up her window and drawled, “Or should I say lovebirds?”

Rafael exaggeratedly groaned, and I just rested my head against the window and stared at the passing houses as Sue continued, “I knew it. I knew it at the brunch. He’s kind of wonderful. Jesus Christ, do you two have any idea what a mess this is? Cody, get me my smokes from the glove compartment.”

I did, and she pulled one out with her lips and lit it with the car lighter. “I thought the jig was up once you two started fist-fighting, but Hank and Jill are truly oblivious. I, on the other hand, have married four assholes, so I know a lovers’ spat when I see one.”

“You really think that was just a spat?” Rafael asked.

Sue huffed out a laugh, the smoke shooting out of her nose. “Compared to the fights I had with my husbands? Yeah, that was just a spat, hon. I broke Bill’s nose once and the asshole was a cop! He thought he knew how to take a hit until he met my mean ass. That fucker was afraid of me by the time we were through.”

“Is this supposed to be inspiring or something?” Rafael asked. “I’m really not in the mood to hear you regaling about your fucked-up marriages.”

Sue pointed at him through the rearview mirror. “This is my car, you little prick. I’ll regale you with whatever the fuck I feel like regaling about.”

I threw my hands up in the air and said, “New car game. Whenever someone says regale, we have to moon the car next to us.”

Sue’s raspy cackle filled the car. “I like that! And it’ll piss off crankerpuss back there, which is even better.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Rafael asked.

Sue took a long drag of her cigarette, then turned to me and said, “Jesus, is this really the one worth wrecking the family over? He’s as cheerful as a scorpion.”

I said nothing, and Sue knew from my silence that the answer was yes. Yes, that scorpion in the backseat was worth wrecking the family over.

I looked in the side mirror, and Rafael’s eyes met mine. He took a deep breath, placed his cap over his eyes, and napped.

It took a long time for me to tear my gaze away from him, and, when I did, I caught Sue looking at me.

“You got it bad,” she whispered.

I don’t know when it happened, but while despising Rafael, I somehow became completely obsessed with him, and that obsession morphed into more. The idea of Rafael leaving was too much to bear. I didn’t know how, but I had to make him fall in love with me at the cabin.

Yeah. I had it bad.