Page 50

CHAPTER 50

Senna

He told me he loved me, but I didn’t get to say the same. Hearing those words as I was about to enter the restaurant was like putting on the armour I needed.

We get through most of the dinner in the private room unscathed. Dad is his version of politeness, which means he doesn’t start fights, but the knowledge that I need to confront him means I’ve been picking at my food. Tawny and my mum have found a shared love of cute dog videos. When Ralf isn’t talking to Dad about what former drivers are up to, he and Jacs are covering the greatest hits of races they’ve both loved, sharing secrets about the engineering of those cars.

I look between my dad and Connor.

“You look well, Senna,” Mum says softly, studying my face. I smile at her. “I was worried when you became team boss because I know what it can do to people.” She observes my dad, but he’s speaking to Ralf about the “good ol’ days” of track girls and cocky drivers. I glance at Connor, who winks at me. Okay, cocky drivers still exist, and the sport is better for it.

“Thank you, Mum. Jimmy and Connor ensure I eat every meal and take breaks, too.”

Jimmy deals with lunch. Connor makes breakfast, organises dinner and texts me to ensure I walk around the building and go for a run. At night, depending on when I make it home, he runs me a bath, and we watch movies or have the kind of sex that makes me forget all my worries.

“Then I’ll thank Jimmy another time. And thank you, Connor, for being a good influence on my girl. You cared about her when she was a teenager, too.” There’s a twinkle in Mum’s eye as she eats the last spoonful of her tiramisu. The more I speak to Mum and Dad since he retired, the more I realise he’d be nothing without her. I hope he realises that, too. “I remember how you two danced in the kitchen when you thought you were alone, and you sang, too, Connor. You had a lovely voice.”

“Thank you.” Connor coughs and blushes. “And you don’t need to thank me. Senna is a good influence on me. I’m a lucky man…I mean, friend…friend man.” He stares at the table as Mum grins. “I’m a lucky friend who is a man.”

Talk about revealing everything. But I don’t care. He loves me. Connor fucking Dane loves me, and I love him, too. I can’t wait for this meal to be over so I can tell him.

“Anyway,” he continues, “Senna is a considerate but ball-busting boss. She cares about the entire team. She knows everyone by name. She asked one of the interns what they wanted for their future and put things in place to make it happen. She asks about the pit crew’s kids and makes sure that, where possible, they can be home for birthdays. She’s put the family back into Coulter without losing an inch of professionalism and performance. There’s not a word for how incredible she is.”

My legs tremble. “You saw that?” I whisper quietly enough for him to hear. “I didn’t think anyone knew the things I did.”

“She’s astounding,” my mum says. Her smile as her eyes flit between me and Connor makes me lift my chest. “No matter what she’s done, she’s always pushed and tried to be the best without forgetting the people around her. She was the same as a driver, always ensuring you and Niki ate the right things before races and had your equipment together.”

“It’s a shame not everyone realises how amazing she is,” Connor says, glancing at my dad, who stops speaking and stares back. I squeeze Connor’s thigh. This isn’t the time for a fight.

“They know.” My mum sighs. “But they don’t always understand.”

Silence descends. Then the waiter brings port to the table. I glance at Ralf, who gives me a nod. It’s like the nod of comrades going into battle. The port course is when Dad does business. He’ll wait for an entire meal, giving polite conversation, but when the port comes out, he goes for the gullet.

I lean back in my chair. He fixes me with his stare.

“Why are your drivers doing so badly at the moment?”

Connor tenses beside me, and I squeeze his thigh under the table. This is my fight. I nod to Jacs, who says something to Tawny about the toilet. I don’t want her here for this. I’d already warned her this might happen.

“We tried an upgrade. It didn’t work,” I reply flatly. I turn to Ralf to engineer another conversation.

“Well done for trying it,” Ralf says under his breath before adding louder, “Hawaii was lovely.”

“Are you sure it’s not because you fired Antoine and made Connor the lead driver?” Dad glares at Connor, who eyeballs him.

Jacs scowls at my dad from the doorway of our private dining room before jostling Tawny out. Ralf laughs to ease the situation, and Mum grumbles at Dad about ruining dinner. Connor grips my hand under the table. I offer him a brief smile as a thank you. He knows this is my fight, but I don’t doubt he has my back.

“I thought you wanted to meet me to apologise for your behaviour this year. I wouldn’t have come here if Niki hadn’t told me to,” I seethe.

Dad leans back in his chair, his arms wide with his trademark power stance, but I’m not backing down.

“Come on. This is a business chat.” I lift my chin high and curl my lips. “I’m not sure leading a team is for you. You were fantastic at marketing, but leading a team isn’t a job. It’s a calling.”

I grip the table. “I can’t believe you.”

“What? You should be used to boardroom chat.”

I grind my teeth. “We’re not in a boardroom. We’re at a family meal. A family you’ve hurt with your demands. Your son pushed himself to crash and then left the country to get away from you.”

“Niki left for other reasons.”

I’m relieved Ralf, Mum, and Connor are quiet as we battle.

I pin my dad with my stare. My skin itches at the fight. In a boardroom, I’d have research to hand, and my heart wouldn’t be invested or on the precipice of hurt with history thrown at me. But it’s different with Dad, and it always was.

“He left because you created expectations he couldn’t meet, that no one can meet, not even you. And you’ve tried to do the same with me. When was the last time Coulter Racing, under your helm, reached the top six in the Constructor’s Championship?”

“Hold on?—”

“Five years ago,” I snarl. “And you still told me you’d sell the team if I didn’t get it to the top six.”

“You didn’t,” my mum says, frowning at Dad.

“It was her idea,” Dad replies, thumbing in my direction.

“You pushed me there.”

But he’s talking to my mum now. “I want Senna to settle down. I want grandkids and not to have my life dictated by a racing calendar anymore. I want to have a proper family.”

My mum throws down her serviette. A server backs out of the room. “Then you shouldn’t have made our lives about racing. I love everything about Formula One, but you pushed the kids to do it when they were younger, and now you want them out because you’re done? That’s not how it works.”

“But she could have a happy life.”

My mum twists to stare at me. “Senna, do you want to continue as team boss?”

“Yes.”

She pokes my dad in the chest. “Then problem solved. Stop controlling the lives of everyone around you. And stop trying to protect Senna when you should have protected Niki. You’re the reason I nearly lost my son last year, and instead of him coming to us to recover, you made him team boss. He escaped the country to get away from you.” She jabs him harder on the word you . “Senna is running the team amazingly, and she’s happy. Look at her. She is happy.”

Even with her anger at my dad, she smiles at me.

Dad bristles. He’ll reflect later, but when confronted, he always doubles down. He gulps his port, wiping any remaining drops from his mouth with his serviette, and replies, “It doesn’t matter. I’ve got a buyer for the team.”

My mouth drops. Uncle Ralf is staring at my dad, his eyes wide.

“You didn’t believe in her,” Connor states. “You told her what she needed to do to keep the team, and you looked for a buyer anyway.”

Dad eyeballs Connor. “Hold on, Dane?—”

“No, you hold on.” Connor leans into the table, his voice low. “Senna brought the team back from the brink. She dealt with Antoine, the same guy you lauded, who is one of the little shits Niki and I tried to protect her from when we were teenagers. Antoine treated her like she was nothing, and you enabled that. You ruined the team with your lack of research and development, hence the recent performance issue. You decimated the finances, all things she’s improved because she has the intelligence to do it and the respect of others to ask for their help. She transformed the team.”

My dad stands, and so does Connor. He fists his hands, and I moisten my lips, watching in awe and admiration. That’s my man.

“You have the fucking audacity to go back on your promises when she’s done more for this team than you’ve done in decades. How dare you not believe in your daughter when you’ve seen how incredible she is.”

No one has defended me to my dad like this. Niki let him railroad me and then did things behind the scenes. But Connor is risking everything to confront my dad with the impact of his behaviour.

I love him.

I stand, throwing my serviette onto the table like my mum did. I grab Connor’s hand and squeeze it. “Connor, let’s go. Uncle Ralf, will you run Tawny and Jacs home?”

“Of course,” Ralf replies with a nod.

“Thank you, Mum. You’re the best,” I say, kissing her. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my beautiful, strong girl,” she replies, hugging me tight.

Hand-in-hand with Connor, I step away from the table.

“I’m not done with you, Senna, and I’m certainly not done with Connor,” Dad grunts as we stand.

“Yes, you are,” I reply, turning on my heel. “Connor was loyal even when he was terrified to drive. Still, you don’t see the light he’s been for our entire family. I love this man and have for years.”

“And I love her. She’s my world.” Connor’s eyes shine, and I’m engulfed in his adoration. “Let’s go, baby.”

“Does your brother know?” my dad says, his teeth gnashing. “Niki will return to your betrayal. Don’t you remember the rows I had with him after the crash about keeping his friendship with this player?”

I stride back to the table. “Connor is the most amazing man. He’s honest and patient and cares about me. I worry about Niki as much as you do. But we haven’t told him. Don’t you dare tell him in your brusque way. We’ll tell him at the end of the season. Now, I’m taking my boyfriend home, and then I’ll get my team in the top six because I keep my promises.”

I catch up with Jacs and Tawny near the toilets and inform them that Ralf will drive them home. I also give them the highlights of our family argument. It’s not even our biggest.

Tears brim my eyes as we return to the car.

“Drive us to the offices,” Connor grunts, gripping me tight, his thumb stroking my tattoo.

“But there won’t be anyone there,” I stutter, my hands trembling.

His warmth resets me.

“That’s the point. Tonight can’t be about your dad’s shitty behaviour. You are a powerful, strong, and fucking amazing woman and in control of so much. I will do whatever I can to remind you of that. I owe my boss office sex, and that’s exactly what you’re getting. This night is going to end in an epic orgasm, and it’s got your name all over it.”