Page 48

CHAPTER 48

Senna

We have a few hours before I head back to the office.

Connor cooks us breakfast. The scent of bacon and pancakes drifts through to the bedroom. I stretch out on the bed like a cat that’s finally found a beam of sunshine. Meetings and decisions have made my shoulders sore and my legs tight, but here, with him, peace descends, and endorphins tickle my belly. We haven’t talked about the sentiments we expressed while having sex last night, but weirdly, I don’t need to. Connor’s actions and words have shown me what this is. I sigh happily.

My phone rings. I glance over, expecting one of the team.

It’s Niki.

I look through the doorway at Connor, who stirs something while flipping a pancake. Calls from Niki are rare. Maybe he’s coming home. Excitement and dread mingle as I snap up the phone and answer, holding it to my ear.

“Hey, big bro.” I squeak the words.

“Hey, you. How are things? You smashed the last race.”

“Thanks.” My throat tightens, so I grab the glass beside me and gulp water.

Music plays in the background. “Bringing Tawny to the team was a genius move.”

I can’t tell him I came up with the idea with Connor. “She’s doing brilliantly. It was the move she deserved, but she needed someone to take a chance on her.”

“And you were that person. You’re doing well, and I’m so proud of you.”

My stomach lurches as Connor appears with the kale smoothie he’s prepared for me. He’s always taking care of me. I hold a finger to my lips, and his brows knot.

I mouth, “It’s Niki,” and the furrow turns to wide-eyed panic. As he backs out of the room, he crashes into a chest of drawers. A photo of Connor and me crashes to the floor.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” I bleat. “I knocked a glass on the floor.”

He chuckles. “You’re at home, then?”

“Yes.” It sounds more like a question than a statement. I’m already lying to my brother. “Are you nearby?”

I hold my chest as I wait for his answer.

“No, not yet.” I let out my breath as quietly as possible. My hands are clammy, and I grip the phone tighter. “But I called to tell you I’ll be back at the end of November, a couple of weeks after the end of the season.”

I blink rapidly as I push a hand through my hair, still knotted from the lake. I don’t know whether to be delighted or gutted. After six more weeks of Connor-filled bliss, everything could come crashing down. But I get my brother back.

“I can’t wait to see you,” I admit.

I catch Connor’s eye. My sexy tattooed man worries his lips, nearly missing the plate as he attempts to drop a pancake on it.

“I’ve missed you, little sis.”

I take a sip of water.

Maybe I could share something about Connor so he knows we spend lots of time together. It might help in the future. “I’ve missed you, too. And?—”

“I’m also calling about something else. Dad wants to have dinner with you.”

My lips curl, and I put my glass down before I drop it. “Then why hasn’t he called me himself? Oh yeah, because I’m avoiding his calls.”

There’s silence at the other end, and I pace the room.

“I don’t want to meet with Dad. What’s the point? So he can tell me he doesn’t believe in me and I should hurry up and have babies?” I snap. I kick a shoe and hurt my toe, my face creasing.

Connor walks tentatively closer, but I hold him back with my hand. I don’t need him to protect me from my shitty family.

“I didn’t know Dad said that. He wants to make amends. He hoped you, Connor and Tawny would meet him when you returned after the Mexico Grand Prix. He’s been a dick to Connor since the crash?—”

“The crash that wasn’t his fault.”

“Yes,” he concedes. “And he wouldn’t have allowed Tawny to join the team halfway through the season. He doesn’t deserve your time, but this is big for him, Senna. Give him a chance, okay?”

“I’ll consider it.”

Maybe if Dad and Connor get on without him knowing about us, it will be easier to tell Niki about Connor. I can’t have their relationship break because of me. I don’t want to have to strategise my own life and a company my dad doesn’t believe I can manage.

I catch Connor’s eye again. He’s pointing at the food. “I’d best go, as I need to eat something. But don’t do Dad’s dirty work for him next time.”

“I won’t.” I start walking to Connor as Niki adds, “By the way, do you speak to Connor much outside of telling him how to race?”

“Oh, you know. A little. The usual amount,” I stutter.

Connor holds his hands up with a silent question.

“And he’s looking after you, right?”

“Looking after me? I guess…”

“Good.”

I huff. “But I don’t need anyone to?—”

“Got to go.” He hangs up.

Even while travelling, he’s still trying to be my controlling big brother. I slam my phone down next to Connor’s. Connor wraps his arms around me and brushes my hair with his lips.

“Everything okay?” he asks as he drizzles the perfect amount of syrup onto my pancake from behind. I wrestle with the temptation to push him off. Why does one call with my brother set me on edge?

Maybe he senses it, because he steps away. His phone vibrates with a call. I spot that Niki is calling him. He flinches but doesn’t answer it.

“You can answer it. It’s okay,” I say, watching as his jaw hardens.

“I’ll speak to him later.”

Something is off, but I can’t figure out what.

“Niki’s coming back,” I blurt.

“When?” His eyes are massive, and he flips his cap backwards.

“A couple of weeks after the end of the season.” Connor stares at me as I slice the pancake with rough cuts. “And Dad wants to meet with me, you, and Tawny for dinner in about a month when we return from Mexico. Fuck knows why he wants to wait until then. There’s three races left after that.”

I shove a lump of pancake into my mouth, glaring at Connor and daring him to attempt to improve the situation or protect me as he did with Antoine.

“Okay. I’m eager for both of those things already,” Connor says before going to wash the dishes.

I stare at his back. “Why?” Shame creeps up on me as he turns. I should be easy-going like he is, but I’m still stung by Niki being on my dad’s side. And why is Connor the person Niki calls as soon as he’s spoken to me?

Connor turns and rubs his hands on the tea towel. I refuse to be distracted by his muscular forearms.

“You have every right to be angry at your family, but?—”

“But?” I fix my jaw.

“But you don’t get to take it out on me,” he says, dropping the tea towel on the counter and walking closer. “I’m not happy with how they try to protect you when you’re excelling at things they can’t do in a mediocre fashion. But I’m not here for you to be annoyed at.”

My arms hang limply by my sides, and my voice cracks. “I’m sorry. I hate how they make me feel. And when I saw Niki calling you, I got it in my head that he didn’t trust me and needed feedback about me.”

“It’s okay.” He reaches me and cups my face. “But I’m not your protector. You don’t need one. I’m attempting to be your equal. I want to speak to your brother about us.”

Panic flutters in my chest. “Not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

“I thought you’d say that, so I didn’t answer his call. It’s getting hard to hide how I feel about you. I don’t need his consent, but I want to tell him. If he’s coming back, then maybe he’s okay, and so it will be the right time to talk to him about us.”

“Okay,” I reply. The need to control the situation itches at my skin. But he’s got this, and he’s got me. “My brother doesn’t deserve a friend-to-friend chat with you about us. But I get it. And if you’re willing to meet with Dad, then we will. I’m sorry for being a brat.”

“You’ve said sorry already. It’s okay. You’ve always had to fight in your family, but you don’t need to do that with me. We’ve got each other’s backs. Always.” His words are saturated with confidence, but his hands are clammy, and his jaw clenches. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

I do a double-take. It’s like all the air is dragged from my lungs.

“I planned to say all of this on the deck last night, but you were so fucking sexy, and I went all caveman.” His face flushes, and he takes a deep breath.

His smile is broader than his tattooed chest as I lead him into the bedroom.

“I need you close,” I murmur. “I’m not used to these feelings or letting someone in like this.”

We sit on the bed together. I pull off his cap, and he lowers his head and rests it on my belly. I run my hands through his hair as his fingers trip up and down my legs. He draws a heart shape on my thigh.

“We’ve got each other. With the end of the season coming, your dad acting weirdly, and Niki coming back, it’s all about to kick off, but I’m not going anywhere.” I slide down the bed and hold Connor between my arms. He meets my stare. His eyes are soft and his smile gentle. “So will you be my girlfriend?”

My fingers are jittery, but I’m beaming. “Yes. It’s just between us for now, but I want to be your girlfriend more than I want to win the championship.”

“Fucking yes,” he says with a cheer and a fist pump before dropping kisses to my forehead. "You’re mine. All mine.”

He kisses me on the lips and sighs. I sink into his chest as he strokes my skin. I scratch his scalp lightly with my nails.

“As your boyfriend and, therefore, someone who is allowed to care about you.” He clears his throat, and I pause, my hands on his back. “I was wondering, are you nervous about the rest of the season?”

“I’m anxious when I’m not here,” I admit. “I’m terrified that I won’t be in the top six.”

“We’re getting there. You’re a success, Senna.”

What makes my nose itch with potential tears isn’t his words that I’m certain he means but that he cares. He’s listening and respecting me, not because he has to, but because he wants to. He wants me. I still, and he holds me against his bare chest. He smells of pancakes and his natural musk, and I barely resist pressing my lips to his skin.

“I want success for the entire team. I want to do well, for all the staff. Everyone’s worked so hard, and we deserve to do well. You deserve to do well.”

He hums in agreement. “What can I do to help make that happen, then?”

“Keep doing what you’re doing. Your driving is incredible. You were seconds off first this weekend.”

“I was fucking awesome.”

I giggle. “Yes, you were. And driving doesn’t scare you anymore?”

He holds me tighter, his hands stroking up and down my back under my T-shirt. “I love it. I’ve got another meeting with Ric later, but he can see how much I adore it. When I was racing last weekend, I felt so alive, and not just because I knew you were watching.”

“It’s hard to look away. You have such power, control, and energy when you drive now.”

“Because I know the risks, and I’m not scared of them. I couldn’t give up driving now. You made me love it with my pre-race song and sports psychologist mindset. And, anytime I get nervous, I remember how much fun it was to race you at the aerodrome and how sexy you looked on the bonnet of that Hypercar.”

His fingers curl around my back. His chest warms my cheek.

“That was pretty memorable.”

“Pretty memorable?” He tickles me, and I shake and scream, pulling away from him. He pins me under him as I drag air into my lungs. I’m gasping for breath as he stares at me. “That night was the best night of my life. Every night, every second with you is the best of my life.”

“Don’t let Layla hear you say that, or she’ll think all those times you sneaked her into theme parks without your mum knowing weren’t special. You made her love adrenaline too much. I spoke to her again the other day, and she said she’s considering getting a motorbike.”

“The fuck she is. They’re too dangerous. I told her I won’t fund it.”

“Oops,” I say.

Connor cocks his eyebrow. “Senna, what did you do?”

“I said if she was willing to intern with us one day, I’ll buy her a motorbike.”

Connor turns me so I’m underneath him.

“And you can’t get annoyed because you drive F1 cars, and they’re dangerous.”

“But you love how dangerous I am. You always have.”

I shrug as he stares at me. “Whatever. I was always better at driving than you.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Maybe.”

I pull my lips into my teeth, although I feel I’m glowing under his inspection.

“I love staring into your beautiful hazel eyes. They have all these colours.”

“They’re brown,” I correct him.

He caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I’ve stared into them since I was a boy. They’re hazel.”

I suck in a breath and close my eyes as he presses kisses to my eyelids. “We’ve got an hour before I have to go,” I whisper.

“We’d best make it count, then,” he says, pushing my T-shirt up and brushing my skin with his lips.

And then he makes love to me. There’s no other name for it. It’s more than sex or fucking. It’s the two of us connecting on a level we haven’t until now, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.