Page 24

CHAPTER 24

Senna

I stretch my neck to one side and down a couple of paracetamol, gulping the water like I’ve returned from the desert. I don’t know if I have a hangover or if kissing Connor last night means my body is punishing me for the years spent not kissing him and having mediocre moments with incomparable men.

Connor fucking Dane can kiss.

I run my thumb across my lower lip.

“Senna?” Ric, the sports psychologist Connor has been speaking to since our chat on the garage floor, says, dragging my focus back. “I must tell you something. As Connor’s boss, you need to know.”

A timely reminder that Connor is a driver on my team and, therefore, off-limits, even though if last night’s kiss is anything to go by, a night with him would be everything I’ve fantasised.

I shake my head, deleting the things I spent the last night imagining when I returned to my hotel room.

“Before you tell me anything, has Connor consented for you to share this?” I ask.

“Yes, we met at lunchtime, and he said it was helpful for you to know.”

I take a deep breath. “Okay, Ric. What is it?”

“Connor doesn’t enjoy driving. I know we’ve only had a few sessions, but even with his third place this weekend, his love for it has gone,” Ric explains.

I hold in my gasp. His celebration on the podium and the interviews I’ve watched while hiding in my office convinced me otherwise.

“Why is he still driving? Because of the contract?”

“He’s asked that his reasons remain confidential.”

I write reasons to stop overthinking them, but one makes me pause. He said when we chatted in the garage that he wanted me to be a success. Is he still racing because of me?

A shadow passes my office. Nearly all the staff have today off, which suits me fine, as I don’t want to see anyone and fake that I’m doing okay.

“What do I do, Ric?”

“You celebrate his wins and help him improve after his losses. He wanted you to know, which is encouraging. He respects you, but ultimately, only Connor can solve this. I’ll get him safely to the end of the season, but be prepared to let him out of the contract early for his mental health.”

My head drops. I want to hug Connor and make everything okay. “Should I let him out of his contract now?”

“No. It has to be his decision. I know you were close and that he’s Niki’s friend, but you’re still his boss, and the friendship will add to his guilt, which means he’ll continue to drive. He has to make the decision, and you have to support it. Try not to let your emotions get in the way.”

“Okay,” I murmur, but my heart hurts for the future.

“If you want to chat about it at any point, give me a call.”

“Yes. Thanks, Ric.”

I hang up and hold my thumping head in my hands. I have to be professional with Connor. I have to do it for him. There’s also the Antoine problem. I heard what he said to Connor about being the reason I crashed as a teenager. I have an angel and a devil on my team, and I can’t see a solution. But I have to sort it out.

I can’t protect Connor from Antoine and his dad without remaining professional. If I’m to keep him on the team for as long as he wants to stay, then I need to be seen as a fair and reasonable boss, even if on the inside, I just want him. In the meantime, maybe I can find a way to replace Antoine.

I search the system for the contracts when a knock sounds at my door.

“Come in.” Please don’t be Dad.

Connor, with his bright blue eyes and fucking kissable lips, enters my office.

My heart stops.

“What are you doing here, Connor? You get today off.” I stutter, offering a measured smile as I try to remember I’m his boss, but I know it wavers as I struggle to find the sweet spot of a professional friend.

“I thought you might need hangover food,” he says, passing me a shopping bag.

I rifle through it and squeal in a way that makes him beam as I place an energy drink, chocolate bars, and crisps on my desk. “You’re amazing.”

He blushes. “I wasn’t sure what you preferred after a hangover. If you need pizza, I can get it. There’s paracetamol in there, too.”

“This is perfect.” I smile at him, and he grins back. It’s like butterflies with spikes for wings torture my belly. I can’t forget Ric’s words. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I, um, spoke to Ric just now.”

His lips turn down.

“I want to look after you as a boss. If there is anything I can do to help, will you tell me? That includes if you need to get out of your contract.”

“Yes, boss,” he says with a nod. “I appreciate it. I’ll catch you later, Senna.”

I’ve said the wrong thing while trying to say the right thing. His face is unreadable as he walks out.

“Connor,” I shout. I don’t want to be alone today, but I can’t fully admit it’s him I want around. It’s enough to want support.

“Yes, Coults?” He grips the doorframe as if he can’t face stepping back into the room.

His biceps throb.

I rasp, “Do you want to stay and eat chocolate? Your head must be hurting, too.”

His smile makes my heart ache to have him by my side again. And then he shakes his head. “No, because then you’ll have more reasons to stay when you should go home and rest. Promise me you won’t stay all day.”

He locks eyes with me.

“I promise.”

“Good g—” He clears his throat as my eyes widen. “That’s good boss behaviour.”

The ache in my heart has turned into a different ache, and it’s between my legs.

“Take care, Connor.”

Why does this feel like a goodbye to what we could have had?

“Always. Laters, boss.” He gives me a wink, and I fist my skirt under the desk so he can’t see my heart breaking as my body breathes for him.