Page 12 of Semper Fi

A low noise jolted him from his thoughts.

Jim blinked in the darkness, his body rigid.

There was only silence. The house creaked, and then nothing again.

He knew he should turn over and go to sleep, but an instinct got Jim out of bed, easing into the hallway in his pajamas, feet bare.

The door to the children’s room at the front of the house stood ajar as usual.

Creeping down the hall, Jim peered in to find Sophie and Adam fast asleep.

He’d given Sophie extra chores as punishment and she’d been sleeping more soundly than usual. Watching her now, lips parted, peaceful and innocent, a surge of love for her warmed his chest. He could hardly believe his little girl had done something so mean-spirited and careless to Cal.

As he tiptoed back to his room, he paused by the guest room door, which was usually shut, but had inched open a crack, likely due to the faulty latch in the knob that Jim had been meaning to fix for years. Leaning in, Jim put his eye to the crack to make sure Cal was sleeping comfortably.

His breath caught in his throat as he made out Cal, his bare skin pale in the moonlight. He was on his back, bent legs spread wide, his thick cock jutting up from dark curls. His head tipped back and eyes closed, Cal’s lips were parted as he stroked himself.

Frozen from head to toe, Jim could only stare, his eye to the sliver of space between the door and the jamb.

As Cal arched his hips up, thrusting steadily into his fist, he teased his nipples with his other hand, pinching and twisting.

He was silent but for little gasps that made Jim’s blood run like lava through his veins.

It was a hideous invasion of privacy, yet Jim couldn’t tear his gaze away as his friend pleasured himself .

He knew it was unforgivable, but after so long dormant, Jim’s own body came alive as Cal worked his to the brink.

Jim hadn’t moved an inch, let alone touched himself, but his cock tented his pajamas, a desperate urge humming through him, growing stronger by the second.

He breathed shallowly, sweat beading on his forehead.

Cal caressed his balls, rolling them in his palm. He took some of the gleaming liquid from the tip of his cock on his fingers, and spit onto his hand. Then, spreading his legs wider, he pressed two fingers inside himself.

Jim watched in shock as Cal impaled himself on his fingers, his other hand stroking his cock again rapidly. He’d never imagined such a thing before, yet he quivered with a base desire to penetrate himself the same way. It was madness, but he couldn’t stop watching.

With a whispered word Jim couldn’t make out, Cal bit back a moan, coming over his hand and chest in long spurts that made Jim’s own balls tighten.

Of necessity, Jim’s feet were finally able to move, and he crept back to his room, trembling.

He eased the door shut and leaned against it, his heart hammering his ribcage.

Consumed with a want and need he’d never experienced, Jim tugged down his pajamas enough to free his leaking cock. It only took three strokes before he came, hand clamped over his mouth to muffle his cries as the pleasure flooded into every pore.

His legs gave way and he slumped to the floor. Closing his eyes, he said a silent prayer that whatever sickening weakness and depravity had gripped him would disappear as quickly as it had taken hold.

***

“Would you stop?”

With effort, Jim kept his eyes on the road and his tone even. “Stop what?”

Cal laughed. “Stop sneaking looks at me every thirty seconds like I’m made of glass and going to faint dead away any moment. I told you, I feel as good as new.”

As Jim turned the pickup onto County Road78, he concentrated on keeping his voice flat and normal. “I’m not looking at you.”

But his gaze had drifted to Cal all morning, seemingly of its own accord.

Jim couldn’t get the thought of what he’d witnessed the night before—Cal splayed wantonly, pleasuring himself—from his mind.

It was disgusting and beyond the pale, invading Cal’s privacy and feeling so… excited by it. What’s wrong with me?

“Uh-huh. Jim, I’m fine.” Cal reached out and patted Jim’s shoulder. “You don’t need to worry.”

Even through his shirt and jacket, Jim felt like the touch of Cal’s hand scorched his flesh, and his groin tightened. Good Lord in heaven. He cleared his throat. “If you say so.”

“I say so.” Cal glanced around as they entered the village, the country road becoming Tivoli’s main street, Broadway. “So, this is where you went to school growing up?”

“Yep.” Jim forced a laugh. “I’m sure Manhattan has nothing on Tivoli. Don’t blink, or you’ll miss it.” They passed the bakery and the two-story Madalin Hotel before pulling up in front of the general store.

“It’s nice. Peaceful. Is there a college here?”

“No. Bard College is just down the road, though. I took a few classes there after high school. Then my dad got sick and Sophie was on the way, and there just wasn’t time. But Ann always wanted to go. They started admitting women during the war or else they wouldn’t have had any students.”

“I’m sorry she didn’t get the chance.”

Thoughts of Ann brought back the familiar shame, and combined with what he’d done the night before, Jim felt nauseated. “Me too. She’d wanted to go to one of the women’s colleges after high school, but her parents wouldn’t let her. She had to beg and plead to get a job.”

“Where’s her family from?”

“Up in the Catskills. They wanted her to marry the neighbor’s son, but she ended up with me.

” He smiled ruefully. “I’m not sure they ever forgave me for it.

” At the thought of Ann’s parents, Jim’s stomach knotted further.

“That reminds me, they’re coming for lunch next Sunday.

It won’t be until after church, since they won’t come to St. Paul’s. They’re Catholic.”

“Aren’t you Catholic too?”

Jim had to laugh. “No, Cal. I’m Episcopalian. It’s not all the same, you know.”

“Seems pretty similar from where I’m sitting, but then again I’m a Godless heathen. I’ll catch up on my sleep while you and the kids get saved. Should I make myself scarce when your in-laws arrive?”

Jim blinked in surprise. “No. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t want to intrude on family time.”

“Don’t be silly.” In fact, Jim was glad Cal would be there to fill the silences since Mrs. O’Brien stayed home on Sundays.

As they walked across the sidewalk to the general store, Jim stopped in his tracks and sighed.

Cal raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

Through the window, Jim could see Rebecca Graham perusing the candy counter. “It’s Rebecca. She was Stephen O’Brien’s girl, back before the war.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The past few months, every time I see her, she’s stuck to me. It’s like she thinks because Stephen and Ann are gone, it’s only natural that we pair up. I guess she doesn’t have many other prospects.”

As they entered the store, the bell above the door dinged and Rebecca’s pretty face lit up. “Jim! What a lovely surprise.”

“Hello, Rebecca.” It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with her—she was a perfectly pleasant woman—but she and Jim had never quite gelled. “How are you today?”

“Quite well, thank you.” Her gaze went to Cal, standing a step or two behind Jim. She reached up and smoothed her coiffed blonde hair. “Hello. I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Cal Cunningham.” Cal stepped forward and nodded a greeting. “ An old war buddy of Jim’s.”

“How wonderful. Are you here long?” She smiled widely.

“Until the harvest at least. I’m helping out at Clover Grove.”

“That’s so kind of you. Where are you from?”

As Cal answered Rebecca’s litany of questions, Jim shifted his weight from foot to foot.

He suddenly felt invisible. While he should have been glad to be free of Rebecca’s undivided attention given how uncomfortable it always made him, watching her laugh and talk with Cal made him feel… he wasn’t sure what. Jealous?

It didn’t make a lick of sense. He’d never been interested in Rebecca, so why should he care now? As Rebecca and Cal continued chatting, Jim picked up items from his grocery list and stacked them on the counter, smiling at Mrs. Abbott, who leaned in and whispered, “What a nice couple they’d make!”

With a strained smile, Jim nodded.

He was crouched by the shelf of cereal, reaching for the corn flakes, when Cal squatted down and elbowed him playfully. “Thanks a lot! What happened to no man left behind?”

“You and Rebecca apparently had a lot to talk about. I didn’t want to be in the way.” He stood and glanced around the store, seeing no sign of her.

Cal furrowed his brow. “In the way? I was just being polite.”

Jim kept his tone light. “Maybe you’ll meet the woman of your dreams here after all.” It was what he’d always wanted for Cal—why were the words so thick on his tongue?

“What?” Cal laughed. “I’m sure she’s a wonderful lady, but I told you before. I’m not interested in a wife.” He pulled the shopping list from Jim’s hand. “What do you still need to pick up?”

It was unbearably selfish to not want happiness for Rebecca and Cal, but as they finished the shopping, Jim felt strangely relieved. While Mrs. Abbott rang up his purchases, several older women entered the store. One of them exclaimed, “Jim Bennett! How are you, dear?”

“Hello, Mrs. McBride. Ladies.” Jim nodded. “I’m doing well, thank you.” He introduced Cal, who greeted the women.

One of them beamed and said to Mrs. Abbott, “What an honor to have two heroes shopping in your store.”

Mrs. Abbott nodded. “An honor indeed. Our country’s finest men.”

Jim cleared his throat. “We simply did our duty. Nothing more.” He could sense the tension in Cal next to him.

“Oh, such modesty! You’re our heroes, make no mistake,” Mrs. McBride said.

“The heroes are the men who didn’t come back.” Cal spoke a bit too loudly.

Tension filled the air as the ladies glanced at each other. “Of course,” one replied. “Well, we should be on our way. Just here to buy some wool. Do you have the new shipment, Mrs. Abbott?”

Jim quickly paid for the groceries and he and Cal made their escape. They silently loaded the paper bags into the truck and climbed in, heading back to the orchard on the county road.

Cal sighed. “God, I hate that.”

“Me too.”

“I know they mean well, but…”

“They just don’t understand,” Jim finished.

Their eyes met. “No.” Cal turned to gaze out the window. “And how could they? But some days it makes my skin crawl, being reminded of it. At least they didn’t ask what it was like. That’s the worst.”

Jim nodded.

“I mean, how can we answer that?” Cal looked to Jim, even though it was clearly a rhetorical question.

“What was it like?” He faced the windshield, eyes on the horizon.

“Starving and thirsty and sick as hell from every goddamn tropical disease in creation. A kind of tired you can’t imagine.

Watching your friends die, one after the other, blown up and mowed down and sliced open.

Knowing you’d be next. Sometimes wishing you would be, just to get it over with. ”

“Cal.”

But he didn’t even seem to hear Jim as he rambled on.

“Hoping that maybe when you got hit, it wouldn’t kill you, or take your leg off, but would hurt you enough to get the hell out.

To get a ticket home. Then you couldn’t believe you’d think such a cowardly thing, that you’d want to leave your friends.

That I’d want to leave you.” He stopped suddenly, taking a shuddering breath.

“Jesus, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m saying. ”

“We all felt like that.” He reached over and briefly squeezed Cal’s shoulder, keeping him at arm’s length. “It’s okay. You’re a hero to me, and don’t ever think otherwise.”

Swallowing hard, Cal nodded and turned his gaze to the fields they passed.

Jim kept his eyes on the road, both hands gripping the wheel.