Page 27 of Running Risk
CLAYTON: THEN
“Renegades” by X Ambassadors plays in my earbuds as I run through the woods around my house.
My eyes scan the fenceline as my pace slows, hoping to find Rylee outside somewhere.
She won’t answer my calls or texts and won’t see me when I knock on their door.
Don’t get me started on school, it’s been hell on earth.
She has somehow gotten help from all the girls in our class to keep me away from her.
She’s completely giving me the cold shoulder and won’t let me talk to her for even a second.
During lunch, we always run together, and it’s been so long that I can’t remember a day we haven’t done that.
My mind wouldn’t quiet, even when I pushed myself harder with each lap.
When I get home, I get out of my truck only to start running again.
Slowing to a jog, I break through the trees toward the house.
My dad isn’t home, but ever since my parents decided on a divorce, he doesn’t stay here most nights.
There’s a white truck in our driveway, though.
I speed up, wanting to catch Mr. Thompson before he leaves.
Maybe he will give me a clue as to how to talk to Rylee.
Skipping a few stair treads going up the front porch, I open the front door.
“It will be okay. Janet and I will make sure you, Clay, and the twins are taken care of,” Mr. Thompson says in the living room.
I stand frozen in the entryway where they can’t see me around the corner.
“I can’t let you do that, Mike,” my mom declines.
“You can because you need a good lawyer.” His voice is firmer this time. “You can’t let him take your home, Mae. He’s already said he wants the house for the baby. The girl lives in a cheap apartment building.”
My eyebrows furrow as I step forward. “What baby?”
My mom jumps at my interruption. “Clayton, I didn’t hear you come in.” She looks to Mr. Thompson, then back to me. “Um. Why don’t you go get cleaned up for dinner? Mr. Thompson was just leaving.”
I shake my head, then turn to the man who has always been a second father to me.
My gaze is firm. “What baby?” I ask the question, but the deep dread settling in my stomach already tells me the answer I don’t want to believe.
I force myself to ask because I have to hear the answer aloud, otherwise, it’d be easy to sweep it under the rug and act like it’s not actually happening.
I stare harder at the man I’ve known most of my life because out of all the people in my life, he’d be the one who’s completely honest with me.
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, son. It’s not my place.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, then turns to my mom. “Just remember what I said.” The sadness in his eyes confirms what I already suspected to be true.
She nods, and I move out of his way. “Mom.”
“I mean it. Go clean up.” She turns, heading into the kitchen .
I follow her. “Does this have anything to do with why I found Dad seeing a woman before work in the downtown area?” I never wanted to tell my mom what I saw, mostly because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I was just hoping what I saw was a one time fluke.
My mom whirls around. “What?”
I shake my head and pace the floor. My thoughts run rampant, and I need to focus on something else while I piece it together.
“I was running one morning when I couldn’t sleep, and I saw Dad leave earlier than normal.
So I—” I turn to look at my mom. “I followed him, and he went to this apartment downtown.” It was horrible watching my father embrace a woman who isn’t my mother.
Tears well in my mom’s eyes, and my shoulders slump as I wrap my arms around her. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She sniffles, pushes me back, and grabs my shoulders. “She’s pregnant.”
My hands ball into fists, but instead of releasing the tension, I hold them tighter as my anger grows.
How could he do this?
How could he do this to my mom?
How could he do this to me and the twins?
He has destroyed our lives already with his anger and cheating. But now he’s having a baby with this other woman, and from what I overheard, he’s going to take our home—my mom’s home. I don’t understand how anyone can do this, especially to their own family.
I pace again, clenching my hands in and out of fists in rhythm with each of my strides.
I figured he was cheating on her, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Deep down, though, I knew. Soon after seeing him go into that apartment, I talked with the military recruiter.
I couldn’t explain it then, but now it is as clear as day to me. I know what I have to do .
I stop and look at my mom. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, and there are water spots on her shirt. “Mom, I need to tell you something.”
She looks at me, and her brow creases with worry.
Taking off my hat, I rake my fingers through my hair. I’ve been delaying telling her this just like I did with Rylee, but my mom needs to know. “I joined the Marines.” I don’t miss the slight quiver on her lips, but I continue and say, “I leave for boot camp a week after graduation.”
“What?” Her voice is barely a whisper as her hands raise to her mouth. “Why?”
“Mom, I just”—I rub my sweaty palms on my shorts.
“I can’t end up like him,” I say firmly.
My dad has drilled into me that you can’t be anything without a degree, but I see what kind of man he is.
I don’t want to be anything that resembles him.
Sure, he was able to get a good wife, but he threw it away.
I don’t want him to claim I’m anything like him.
This has been the only route I can envision for myself.
“Oh, sweetie.” She steps closer and places her hands on my shoulders. “You aren’t. What does that have to do with you joining the military and not going to college?”
“I can see that my path is headed down the same one he said he did and wants me to do. I have to do something different.” I shake my head.
The military has discipline and the loyalty I want.
I want to do something honorable with the life I have, and I don’t think anything he’s done has been honorable.
“Are you sure about this?” Her eyes search mine.
“Yes. I have to do this.” I didn’t have a plan for college.
I was going to take the basic classes first, and afterward, figure it out.
It was exactly what my dad did, and he always bragged about his degree.
About his life achievements. About himself.
Whether it’s the right thing to do or not, I have to choose a different path.
She nods. “What about Rylee?” She turns and grabs a cup out of a cabinet and fills it with ice and water then hands it to me.
An ache forms in my chest, and I take a much-needed drink. “She isn’t talking to me.”
Her eyebrows raise. “What?”
No matter what life throws at Rylee and me, we always stay tight.
This is our first real fight, and it’s been awful.
I don’t like life without her, but I know I hurt her.
She needs time, but time’s running out. Graduation’s right around the corner, then I’ll be leaving, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.