Page 50 of Ruining Hattie

BASTION

M y phone rings on my nightstand. I’ve been holed up in my condo in Seattle since I returned from Wisconsin.

After I heard Carla refer to me by my birth name, it took me a moment to figure out how she could have possibly known it was me. Then it dawned on me—my birthmark. It’s not something I give much thought since it’s on my back, but of course it would draw her attention.

There was no way I could deny it, and I prepared myself then to lose Hattie. I knew my entire plan was about to blow up in my face. While I’d once envisioned the look on Hattie’s face when she found out, thinking I’d revel in it, the truth is that it nearly destroyed me.

The devastation on her face as if I was a stranger was almost my undoing. The only reason I left is because I thought it would do her more harm than good if I stuck around. But she’s certifiable if she thinks this is the end of us. I still have a fight inside me, and I will get her to forgive me.

How I’m going to fight remains to be seen, though. Right now, Hattie needs space, but she better not get used to living without me.

I roll over to pick up my phone, and my head pounds, as if my brain is crashing against my skull with every movement.

I haven’t gotten blackout drunk in a long time.

After dealing with insurance all day, having to talk to the fire investigator, answering questions to prove that I didn’t start the fire, and figuring out what to do for my staff that are now out of a job until the place can be rebuilt or I find another location, all I craved was the dark oblivion where the sharp edges of my problems dulled to a tolerable level.

With the phone in hand, I hold it up. Through bleary eyes, I see my brother-in-law’s name and bolt up into a sitting position.

Fuck, I grab my head. That was a mistake.

Cringing against the pain, I press on the screen to accept the call. “Obsidian.”

His deep chuckle echoes through the phone, sounding like a pair of cymbals smashing together right next to my ear. I pull the phone away from my ear and put him on speaker, tossing the phone on the bed beside me.

“You certainly sound like shit.”

“Thanks. Kick a guy while he’s down, why don’t you?”

He sighs. “Ariana told me everything that’s been going on with you. I can empathize with having a shit parent. It’s a mind fuck, I know.”

I don’t know the details, but from all that my sister has said, his father was a nightmare to him and his three brothers growing up.

“She may feel differently, but I don’t blame you for wanting revenge on the bitch who bore you,” he says.

“Yeah, well, revenge is starting to feel like it’s not as important as it once was.

” I glance at Hattie’s empty side of the bed.

“Though I’ll admit it was satisfying to see the look of shock on Carla’s face when she realized I was her son.

Even better when I saw the shame. But the look on Hattie’s face… ”

“So, what are you going to do to fix it?”

“I don’t know yet.” The pain in my chest intensifies, and I rub at it with the heel of my hand.

“Well, figure it out and then do it.”

I roll my eyes. I wish it were that easy. Maybe when you’re a billionaire it is, and that’s why he sounds so sure.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I know you’re not calling to console my heartbreak.” I yank the covers off me and slide out of bed to trudge to the kitchen to get some water, cringing every time my head jostles.

“No, it’s not. Ari mentioned that you want me to put you in contact with a certain family. I wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into before I did that. My influence only goes so far, and if you fuck them over, I won’t be able to help you.”

“I have no intention of fucking anyone over. I just need some talented people who can keep their mouths shut, that’s all.” I plan on delivering vengeance to Sean’s doorstep and whoever else helped him burn down my club.

“All right then, I’ll text it over to you. Tell them I referred you.”

I reach the fridge and open it, taking out a cold bottle of water. “Will do. I appreciate it, Obsidian. I owe you one.”

“Just figure your shit out. Your sister is miserable when you’re miserable, and that in turn makes my life miserable.”

I chuckle as I twist the cap off the bottle of water. “Deal.”

“All right, talk soon.” He ends the call.

I guzzle back as much water as I can stomach.

Obsidian’s right, though—I need to figure out my shit and put a plan in place.

First thing I need to deal with is Sean and eliminate that threat.

Then I can focus on what I need to do to win Hattie back and get her back here.

Unfortunately, it’ll take more than an apology.

She’s going to need to accept that the woman who raised her in the perfect home is the same woman who neglected and damaged me.

Right now, that feels like an impossible feat.

My phone dings with a text, and I see it’s the contact information for the Vitale family from Obsidian.

With a resigned sigh, I make the call.

***

A couple of days later, I had my meeting with the representative from the Vitale family. I told them what I needed, we negotiated a price, and then I handed over the information they’d need to make it happen.

I had the Uber drop me off outside the scorched remains of the club, though I don’t know why. To torture myself a little more maybe. Looking at the charred black structure—or what’s left of it anyway—feels like a visual representation of my insides.

I was so sure of myself when I set off on this course, but Hattie wasn’t who I thought she was, wasn’t what I thought she was—the representation of a child my mother could love.

As a little boy, I always questioned why I wasn’t enough for my mom.

Why she couldn’t leave the drugs and alcohol behind and be the mother I needed, the kind of mother everyone else got to have.

Now I’m knee-deep in shit, and I’m not sure how to get out of it.

How to make Hattie see that my feelings for her are real and have been for some time.

I didn’t tell her all of this because I wanted to protect her.

Even if she believes me, I question whether the truth will be enough.

A part of me thinks that the only way I can ever be with Hattie is if I can make amends with my mother.

But the idea of forgiving her… telling her that it’s okay what happened to me…

I shove my hands in my pockets and squeeze my eyes shut before turning and walking back to my condo. Now that things with the Vitale family are in motion, I need to figure out how to win Hattie back.

I’ve faced many obstacles in my life, but something tells me this one will be the most difficult.