Page 45 of Ruining Hattie

BASTION

I can barely breathe as I wait for Hattie to respond. She studies my face, and I half wonder if she thinks I’m making up the whole thing. My hands are on her hips, so I squeeze them, trying to draw a response out of her. This waiting will be the end of me.

How did this woman take me from wanting to ruin her to making her my entire world?

A part of me thought I should make up some bullshit excuse about why we’re here and hide the truth from her. But I’m already hiding so many truths. If we stand any chance of moving forward, I have to give her honesty.

If she decides to reject me, I won’t take no for an answer. I won’t allow her to wreck me, and I’ll do everything to win her back, no matter how long it takes. She is mine whether she knows it or not.

“Say something, please.” I beg her to get rid of the crushing weight on my chest.

“Bast, I…” She shakes her head and opens her mouth, closing it right away.

Time to lay out all the emotions wreaking havoc on me because I can’t stand this clawing feeling in my chest any longer.

The words still make that small boy inside me fear the reaction.

Fear the power I’m giving to someone else to ruin me.

But I know this emotion. I remember it from all those years ago.

Sure, it’s on a different level with Hattie, but I’m still terrified to speak the words, even if it won’t change how much I’ll be shattered if she breaks me.

I bring a hand to her face, stroking her cheek. I open my mouth to say them, but the devil on my right says stop. Pushing through the doubt and trusting Hattie, I finally tell her. “Hattie, I love you.”

Her eyes widen, glistening with tears almost immediately.

“I tried not to, but god, you make it impossible. The person you are, the kindness and affection you offer with no conditions, no strings. It’s just the core of who you are. I’m in awe of you.”

Her eyes soften, and I really hope that means she’s going to forgive me for what I’ve told her so far. “Bast, I love you too.”

That’s all I need.

I bring my lips to hers, sinking into the kiss. She tastes like joy and mercy and freedom from the chains that have banded me all these years. As I cup her face, I’m overcome by how much this woman has absolutely wrecked me when I was the one out to wreck her.

I harden underneath her, which comes as no surprise. This woman never fails to turn me on with her mind, her body, and her spirit.

I grab the hem of her oversized T-shirt.

We break our kiss only long enough to pull the fabric from between our bodies, then her hands are in my hair and she arches her back, offering herself to me.

Her nipples are hard against my flesh, and I drag a hand over to one, gently stroking it with my thumb.

She gasps, and I tear my lips from hers, kissing my way down her jawline, her neck, then her collarbone until I worship her with my mouth.

She holds my head to her breasts, fingers delved into my hair. “Bast, I need you.” Her voice is breathy and filled with desire.

Hattie reaches for the waistband of my sleep pants, and I help her guide them down enough that my dick springs free.

Her small hand wraps around my length, and my eyes close when she strokes me, my head falling back against the headboard, enjoying the sensation.

When I can’t take it any longer, I reach for her hips.

With both hands, I rip her underwear apart, pull the ruined scrap of clothing out from between her legs, and toss it aside.

My fingers fit themselves between her legs. She’s soaked. She moans as I slowly stroke her clit. I bring my other hand to the back of her head, forcing her to look at me as I push two fingers into her warm pussy.

“You mean everything to me, Hattie. Never doubt that.” There’s a desperate note to my words.

I can’t ever let her find out the truth about who Carla is to me. I haven’t figured out how I’m going to handle that situation yet, but I’ll do what I need to in order to take the truth to my grave. She can never know because she’ll never forgive me.

“I love you, Bast.” She kisses me.

Hearing her say the words, knowing she means them, fills me with more joy than I ever thought I’d be afforded in this world.

I pull my fingers from her and fist the base of my dick. I don’t have to tell Hattie what to do. We’re a synchronized act by this point. She moves up then sinks down on me until I’m fully seated inside her. We gasp.

I tuck my face into her neck. “You’re mine, Hattie.”

She pulls back and cups my face. “And you’re mine.”

Then she rocks, and fuck, it feels so good. It’s not like our usual frantic pace. This is slow and steady, and our eyes brim with emotion as the love between us manifests into physical pleasure. Our gazes don’t divert, not once, and in hers, all I see is my future.

Our breathing picks up as we near our peak, and still we don’t look away. The moment feels intimate and somehow life-changing, as though I’ll be a different man after tonight.

Her hands are still on my face. She brushes one down my cheek, and for the first time, the gesture doesn’t send me into a spiral.

I turn my face to kiss her palm. “I want to do this with you forever.”

She moans and speeds up a little more. She’s close. I feel the first tugs of her orgasm around my swollen cock.

I thrust up into her gently, and we come together in a kiss as we climax at the same time.

Groaning into each other’s mouths, I release into her while she milks me for every last drop.

Her body falls into mine as if all her muscles are limp, and I run my hand down her back, both of our breathing labored as we come down from our orgasms. She threads a hand through my hair and presses her lips to my neck.

A few minutes go by, and I turn soft inside her. She draws back and stares into my eyes. “Thank you for loving me.” She places a chaste kiss on my lips. “Thank you for helping me discover who I really am.”

“Hattie, you’ve brought out a side of me I didn’t even know existed. I may not have been a good person for the majority of my life, but I swear to you that from here on out, I’m going to be a man you can be proud to call yours.”

“You already are.” She kisses me again.

I harden inside her again. Of course, once isn’t enough when it comes to her.

A couple of days pass as we spend a lot of the time out on the water, either on the boat or the jet ski. Turns out Hattie is a fan of water sports. She even managed to get up on a set of water skis.

We’ve been to the rec center a couple of times, but seeing the other rich assholes check her out makes me want to hurt someone, so I’ve convinced her that it’s in everyone’s best interests if we spend most of our time at my place.

Our evenings are spent in the hot tub or around the fire pit, looking at the stars, and our late nights are spent exploring one another’s bodies. It’s bliss until the real world intrudes.

On the third day, I receive a phone call informing me that it’s highly likely the fire was set intentionally.

It’s no big surprise. It just means I have to deal with Sean, which normally wouldn’t bother me much, but I swore to Hattie a few nights ago when we made love that I was going to be a better person.

But there’s zero chance I’m going to let him continue to be a risk. Who knows what he’ll do next?

We’re eating lunch on the back patio, looking out over the blue, glistening water under the sun, when Hattie’s cell phone vibrates on the table.

She swipes it off the table, sliding her thumb over. “Hey, Dad, sorry I didn’t get back to you when you texted the other day. Things have been crazy.” She gives me a coy smile.

I try to act as if my heart isn’t pounding against my chest. I get up from the table and go back inside, feigning getting a drink.

I’m committed to getting past who her mother is, but I haven’t quite figured out how.

It helps now that I know Carla tried to come after me, but it’s difficult to wipe away decades of rage in an instant.

She would have tried more than one fucking time if I meant anything.

The fact is that she was a drug addict who neglected me and put me in harm’s way.

That may not be who she is to Hattie, but that’s who she is to me.

I tidy up the kitchen, washing and drying the cutting board we used to prepare lunch. I’m just closing the cupboard when Hattie walks in, all the color leached from her face.

“What’s wrong?” Panic causes my heart to skip a few beats.

“I don’t know. My dad said I need to come home, that there’s something he and my mom need to talk to me about.”

I draw her into my arms. “Maybe it’s not a big deal.”

She shakes her head and pulls away from me, tears swimming in her eyes. “No, I can tell by his voice that something is very wrong. I need to get there right away.” Hattie turns, heading for the stairs.

“Hattie, I got word this morning that the fire was set intentionally. It’s still not safe.”

She whips around on the stairs to look at me over her shoulder. “My family needs me, Bast. I’m going home.” Turning, she bolts up the stairs.

I watch her retreating back for a beat with my hands pushed into my hair.

Fuck . Fuck.

I’d hoped to avoid “meeting the parents” for as long as possible, but that’s clearly not happening. Because I’m not letting her out of my damn sight until I get this thing with Sean handled. Racing up the stairs, I join her in the master bedroom.

“I’m going with you.”

“Bast, you don’t have to?—”

I meet her gaze. “I’m going with you.” My tone leaves no room for argument.

She nods and turns to grab her things from the dresser.

“Do your parents know about me?”

There’s a guilty expression on her face when she turns around. If she only knew. I’m the one who should be looking guilty.

“No. It wasn’t that I wanted to keep you a secret. I just didn’t know exactly what we were, and if things were going to end with us, I figured…” She piles her T-shirts into the suitcase.

“Do you want them to know about me? Do you want me to stay away from your parents while we’re in town?

” I really hope not. Although it would make it all easier, if she doesn’t want me to meet her parents, it would be because she’s embarrassed of me or what we have.

I’m not sure I could handle that right now.

She shakes her head. “I want you there. I want your support for whatever this is about.”

“All right then. I’ll be there.” I still her hands from packing, taking them in mine. “Whatever this is, we’ll get through it—together.” I kiss her joined hands, and her body sinks into mine.

I close my eyes and relish the feeling of having her in my arms, because the fear underneath all this says it might be one of the last times if this parent thing goes very wrong.