Page 13 of Ruining Hattie

HATTIE

T his is the worst day ever.

First, I lose my job, and now the only new friend I’ve managed to make in years is leaving.

After I left work, I went back to my apartment and spent the majority of the day crying.

Once I managed to get myself together, I began looking for a new job.

I can’t afford to be out of work for long if I want to help my parents with their medical bills, especially now that I know they’re behind.

Sure, there’s unemployment income I could apply for—and will most likely have to—but that’s only a portion of what I was making.

I can’t afford not to get my full salary and benefits.

But there’s nothing around here in my area of expertise. Just a whole bunch of minimum wage service jobs, which I’ll take if I have to, but doing so will barely let me scrape along and pay my own bills, let alone help my parents.

And then my attention shifted to getting ready to meet Bastion. Our last meeting. If I weren’t already in a terrible mood, that alone would do it.

After I park down the street from the café, I step out and lock the vehicle. Each step toward the café feels as if I’m on a death march, which is ridiculously dramatic, but true nonetheless. I reach the café and open the door, remaining on the threshold.

This time, Bastion has beaten me to the café and is waiting with a hot chocolate.

He holds it up and smiles at me. Something about the image makes me want to burst into tears.

After this morning, I’m feeling extra emotional.

Instead of crying, I plaster on what I hope is a convincing smile and make my way to the rear of the café.

“Hey.” I try to keep my voice breezy and light.

“Rough day?” Bastion’s forehead creases in concern as I take my seat.

Am I that transparent? “Why do you say that?”

He slides the hot chocolate in my direction, and I thank him.

Bastion’s head tilts. “Something is obviously wrong. You look like you’ve been crying.”

“So you’re saying I look terrible?”

He chuckles. Being able to make him laugh lifts something in my spirit. “Of course not. You could never look terrible.”

My entire body heats from his words, and I force myself not to look away as I normally would.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to spend our last night together crying on your shoulder.” I bring the mug to my lips and blow on the steaming liquid.

“Why not? Isn’t that what friends are for?” He holds my gaze, and I can’t look away from his twin pools of deep blue.

I want to ask, is that what we are? Friends? But that’s not me.

“I suppose.” I take a tester sip of my drink, then run my tongue along my top lip, feeling some of the foam there.

I swear Bastion’s eyes track the movement.

“Well, then, let’s hear it. Maybe I can help or at least help you feel better.”

I sigh. “You can’t help, but you’re right. Maybe I’ll feel better if I talk about it.” I shift to set my mug on the side table.

After I got home this morning, I didn’t even call my parents or Taylor to tell them what happened. I was too embarrassed.

“I lost my job today.” My shoulders slump.

Bastion takes my hands. “Oh, Hattie, I’m so sorry. What happened?” It feels so natural when he runs his thumbs up and down over my skin that I don’t pull away.

“The company was sold, and the new owner decided there was one person too many in finance, so I was laid off.” I cringe.

“That’s no fault of your own. Why do you look ashamed?” He squeezes my hands.

I really didn’t want to dump all this out on our last night, but it’s occupying all my thoughts. “I’m embarrassed. I’m unemployed. I haven’t been unemployed since I was fifteen.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something else. I don’t know you that well, but it’s clear to me that you’re an honest, intelligent woman.”

I look away and slip my hands from his. “I’m sure I can get a job. But I need one that pays well in my own field. I…” Tears well in my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, trying to stem the tide of anxiety and worry that threatens to overtake me.

Visions of my parents working themselves to the bone well into their seventies accost me.

I picture them getting further and further behind on the payments and losing everything they’ve worked so hard for.

It only takes one unexpected financial hit to pull people under sometimes.

First, it was my dad’s accident, but what if that was only the start of it?

Anything could happen that would continue to make them never pay back the medical bills. What if?—

“Breathe, Hattie.”

My eyes snap open. That’s when I realize my chest is tight and I’m breathing far too quickly.

He scrunches down in front of me, meeting my gaze and resting his large hands on my shoulders. “Calm down. Breathe.”

He overexaggerates his breathing for me to follow. I start taking deeper, longer breaths until my chest doesn’t feel as if a band is wrapped around it.

“I’m sorry, that’s never happened before.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” He squeezes my shoulders before he lets his hands drop and goes to sit back in his chair.

“I’m anxious about more than just losing my job. Yes, I need to be able to pay my rent and buy groceries and all that, but I’m more concerned about my parents.”

Bastion’s forehead wrinkles, and he tilts his head.

“I found out last night that they’re behind on their medical bills.

They had a large car repair bill, and if they don’t fix my dad’s car, he can’t get to work, so they had no choice but to get it repaired, but now they’re behind.

I’m afraid it’s going to snowball, and they’ll just get further and further behind. ”

“You already help them out, right? I remember you mentioning that.”

I nod. “But if I’m not employed, I won’t be able to, and that will only make the situation worse. I just feel so helpless right now.”

Bastion looks at me intently, studying my face.

I wipe under my eyes at the tears that are gathered there, poised to fall. “I’m sorry I’m dumping all of this on you. It’s not your problem.”

“Hattie, what can I do to help?”

Shaking my head, I say, “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do.”

He slumps back in his chair.

“Let’s talk about something else. I don’t want our last night to be me blubbering like a baby.” I try to laugh, but it comes out strangled.

Bastion says nothing for a beat. I’ve really blown this. His last impression of me is a crying mess. “What if it’s not our last night together?”

“Did your business in Wisconsin get extended?” I frown.

He straightens in his seat and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “No, but I have an idea. You might think it’s a little crazy, but it will solve a problem for both of us.”

My mind whirls with what it could be, but I come up empty. “What is it?”

“Come work for me.” His gaze doesn’t leave mine.

It’s a little bit before I realize he’s serious. “In Seattle?”

Bastion nods. “I’m looking for someone who can be my right hand and take over some of the financials.

I’ve always done most of it myself because I don’t trust a lot of people, but I trust you.

There’d be some other administrative functions you’d have to do—keep track of my schedule, act as a liaison between myself and my employees. Nothing you couldn’t handle.”

“You don’t even know what kind of employee I am. Why would you offer it to me?”

“Like I said earlier, you’re intelligent. I know you could do it, and I trust you. That alone is worth its weight in gold. At least where I’m concerned. Your last boss is a fool to let you go.”

My hands fidget in my lap. “But it would mean moving to Seattle.”

He nods. “But with the amount I’d pay you, it would be worth it. You could easily help your parents. Hell, you could even keep your apartment here if you wanted, just in case you don’t like Seattle and want to come home.”

I feel rude asking, but I have to know if I’m really considering uprooting my entire life. Am I considering it? “How much does it pay?”

Bastion tells me the amount, and my mouth drops open. He’s right, that much money would make a huge difference. The idea of leaving my parents, though…

If I were back in Tennessee, my answer would be an easy no. But Wisconsin has never felt like home. I haven’t formed any true friendships here, so the only people I’d miss are my parents.

Plus, I’ve felt a little confined here. And I really do want more adventure, to see the world and experience new things. I hate that it comes at the expense of moving away from my parents, but in the end, if I could give them the peace of mind that their bills are all paid, it’s worth it.

“I don’t know what to say.” Excitement and relief war with reticence and worry in my head.

“Say yes. Maybe this is that taste of adventure you’ve alluded to wanting.” He arches an eyebrow.

I realize that he’s right. I have been craving something different in my life, and this is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

With that salary, I could help my parents out even more.

And as Bastion said, I could still afford to pay for my apartment if I wanted, at least for a few months until I know whether I want to stay or not.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you offering me this job just because you feel bad about the situation I’m in.”

He locks his eyes with mine. “Hattie, do you trust me?”

Slowly, I nod. “I do.” I have no rational reason why, but I do.

“Then take this chance with me. I promise you won’t regret it.”

I quickly weigh the pros and cons in my head.

Pros: I get to spend more time with Bastion, I’d be able to help my parents with their medical bills, and I’d be making enough to keep my apartment so I could easily change my mind if I wanted.

I’d be getting a little of that adventure I’ve been wanting.

I wouldn’t have to take weeks or months looking for another job only to be forced to take a job I hate out of necessity.

Cons: I wouldn’t see my parents as often as I do now.

The one and only con is a big one. Still, I think taking the job is worth the risk, even if it doesn’t end up working in the long run. The benefits outweigh the risks, and I can always return to Wisconsin. I’ll just have a lot more money in my bank account when I do.

“What are you thinking?” Bastion asks when I’ve been quiet for a long while.

“I think… I think I’ll take the job.”

“Really?” His eyes sparkle with triumph, and I can’t help the small chuckle that escapes.

“Really.” I nod enthusiastically.

“Wonderful. Like I said, you won’t regret it.”

He smiles at me, and something clicks into place inside me. I think he might be right. I won’t regret it.