Page 40 of Ruining Hattie

BASTION

I arrived at my father and Eleanor’s earlier today, and Ariana is right, something is wrong. I haven’t questioned him directly, but I’ve caught him and Eleanor sharing a few glances that lead me to believe they’re hiding something.

Hattie seemed disappointed that I was leaving, but she didn’t complain. She never complains. Sadly, no matter how many miles I’ve put between us, she’s still at the forefront of my mind.

I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone about what’s going on until now, and maybe my dad is the perfect candidate.

God knows he’s run enough of his own scams over the years that he’s not going to judge me.

Hell, I was a willing participant for most of them.

Together we’ve conned people, lied, ripped them off, and stolen from them.

He knows my past and where I came from, and he’ll understand why I’m doing what I am.

So once we’re settled on his back porch, each of us with a beer in hand, looking out over his property, I decide it’s time to fill him in—after I figure out what’s going on with him.

We’re both silent for a few minutes. Eleanor is in the house, cleaning up after dinner, and the two of us seem content to listen to the chirping insects surrounding us.

“Your sister sent you, didn’t she?”

I look over at the man who took me in when he didn’t have to. The man who’s showing his age. It’s a stark reminder of how quickly time passes. “I used to be a better grifter. Skills must be rusty.”

The corners of his lips tip up. “You’ve still got it, kid, don’t worry.

But you haven’t been for a visit in a long time, then suddenly you text and tell me you’re coming the next day.

Add on the fact that it just happens to be the day after Ari and I get into it on the phone because she thinks I’m hiding something?

” He arches a graying eyebrow. “Don’t need a PhD to figure it out. ”

I blow out a breath. “She’s just worried. As am I since I arrived. You and Eleanor do a shit job of trying to pretend nothing’s wrong.”

He shakes his head. “It’s nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Perfect, then you can fill me in.” I take a pull of my beer.

His finger taps the end of the armrest while the finger on his other hand taps the beer bottle.

“I have prostate cancer.” I open my mouth to say something, but his hand goes up to stop me.

“Before you say anything, they caught it early, and my doc thinks I’ll be fine.

I have to have surgery in a couple of weeks, some radiation, and then I should be good to go. ”

“Jesus. I’m sorry, Dad. Let me know what you need me to do. I’m here to help.”

He scowls, shaking his head. “I don’t want you kids making a big deal of it, all right?

That’s why I haven’t told your sister. She’ll be down here in a heartbeat, hovering over me, acting like I’m dying and driving me crazy.

Or worse, make me move into that damn mansion.

Her heart is in the right place, but you know what she’s like. ”

He’s not wrong. Ariana can be overbearing, but I think that’s what you get when your mother leaves. You cherish your family. So, I don’t blame her.

“I can’t keep this from her.”

His jaw flexes and he keeps his gaze on the forest beyond. “Fine, but make sure you tell her the part about me being fine.”

“Right, I’m sure that will ease her mind.” I take a pull from my beer, knowing she’ll be on the first plane out.

“I’m serious, Bast. Make sure she knows that she doesn’t have to go all mother hen on me.”

I nod, though we both know it doesn’t matter how I spin it. Ari’s going to freak out.

“I swear ever since she had those kids, she worries about everything. What happened to the little girl who used to pull one over on people with me?”

My dad wasn’t happy when Ariana told us she was leaving the family con business more than a decade ago. I know he loves my sister, but I think he still sees it as her turning her back on us. On him.

“Ariana’s happy with her life, and that’s what matters. Let her fuss over you a little bit. Otherwise, you two will be at each other’s throats.”

He grunts and takes another sip of his beer. “Now what’s going on with you?”

“What makes you think something is going on with me?”

He turns and looks at me with that dad expression he perfected at some point. “Call it fatherly intuition.”

I push my hand through my hair. “I’ve been dealing with something for a few months. Thought I had the situation under control, but… things have shifted.”

“Is it business?”

“Nah. It’s personal.”

“Well, don’t act like a mopey teenager I have to pull the information out of. Tell me what’s going on.”

I stand, leaving my beer on the table beside the chair, and go up to the porch railing. With my hands on the railing, I stare at the lush trees at the end of the yard. “I hired someone to track down information on my mom.”

He says nothing.

“Figured he’d come back and tell me she’d ODed, but the joke is on me. She’s alive and well, living in Wisconsin.”

Only silence continues behind me.

It’s only dawning on me now that maybe my dad won’t take well to the news that I was looking for my birth mother. He was the one who brought me up. Sure, at first it might have been for me to help him with cons, but our relationship shifted to father and son.

When a minute passes and he still doesn’t say anything, I turn around, leaning against the railing. All the color has drained from his face, and his eyes are wide.

“I didn’t do it because I want a relationship with her or anything. I was just… curious. I wanted to know what had happened to her.”

He clears his throat. “And what did happen to her?”

I cross my arms. “She lives in Wisconsin with her husband that she’s been married to for a long time. He had a daughter before they married, and she’s raised her as her own.”

“Have you talked to her? Your mother, I mean?” His voice sounds wary.

I shake my head. “I told you, I didn’t track her down so I could strike up a relationship with her. In fact, after I read the whole report, all I was interested in was revenge.”

“What did you do, Bast?”

He knows me better than I do most times.

I tell him all about Hattie and how she was raised, me hiring her and wanting to corrupt her. I tell him everything.

He blows out a breath. “And now you care about this girl.”

“I don’t know.”

He stares blankly at me again.

“I need to get my shit together where she’s concerned so that I can finish this. I can’t wait to see the look on Carla’s face when she realizes what her perfect little daughter has been up to in Seattle and exactly who’s been doing it to her.”

My dad goes quiet again, his color still not returning.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to get Eleanor or something?”

He’s staring at his lap, but he holds up his hand, then doesn’t say anything for at least another minute before he slowly raises his gaze to mine. “I agree. I figured your mother would be dead by now too.”

“Not sure what her reason was for getting clean, but I obviously wasn’t a good enough one for her.” That familiar ache in my chest, the one I always carry to some degree, intensifies.

“Bast, I have to tell you something. And I need you to hear me out.”

I stiffen, knowing from the tone of his voice that I won’t like whatever he’s about to tell me. “What?”

“Your mother showed up at our door about a year after I took you in.”

I’m not sure I understand what he’s saying as hard as I’m trying to register his words. It feels as though someone punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me.

“My mother came looking for me?” My voice is hoarse. He nods solemnly. “Was she fucked up or was she clean?”

A pained look crosses his face. “She was clean. At least she said she was, looked like maybe she was, although she was frail and thin. But after everything you’d told me about her, I didn’t believe her, didn’t trust that she’d stay that way.”

“What did she want?” Though I think I already know.

His gaze doesn’t veer from mine. “She wanted to take you with her. And I refused.”

“She what?” I roar, stepping toward him. If he wasn’t sick, I’d rip him up out of that chair and toss him off the porch.

My mother came for me?

My mother came for me.

“What did you tell her? Why didn’t I go with her?”

He shifts in his seat, guilt lining all his wrinkles.

“I told her that you wanted nothing to do with her, that you ran away for a reason and that you hated her. Said that you told me you’d run away from her again if you ever had to go back there.

Threatened her if she ever tried to come back again. ”

Tears prick the backs of my eyes, but I do what I always do and swallow them back down. “But I didn’t say any of that.”

He frowns. “Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but I wasn’t about to send you back there to be neglected and abused on her word alone.”

“You sure it’s not just because I was bringing in money for you and helping you with your grifts?” Venom coats my words. My anger’s too big to hide.

He glares at me. “I did what I thought was right at the time.”

I push my hand through my hair and turn away from him, then pace the length of the porch.

My mother came for me.

My mother cared for me—to some degree at least.

My head is a swirl of thoughts, my heart a mess of emotions. I don’t know how to feel about this confession.

I turn to face him. “How come you never told me?”

He blows out a breath. “Didn’t think it would do you any good. Thought it would just mess you up more. You had come such a long way in that year. Your nightmares were subsiding, you were healing, and I really didn’t think she’d stay clean, Bast.”

“How did she find me?”

He frowns and shakes his head. “No idea. Never asked.”

I think back to around the time he’s talking about and realize something. “Let me guess. Right around then was when we moved, wasn’t it? You moved us because of her?”

Shame crosses his features. “Yeah, it was. I didn’t want her showing back up, fucked up or something. You didn’t need that.”

I’d like to believe him, but Trent has always looked out for number one. I’m under no illusion that if I hadn’t been useful to him, I would have stayed in his care. Regardless, the man did raise me—put a roof over my head, clothed me, and fed me. That’s no small thing.

Anger burns like a hot coal in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know how to feel about any of this—Trent, Carla… Hattie.

“I can’t believe you never fucking told me.” My tone is almost a growl.

Would anything have been different if I had known? Maybe. Quite possibly.

My eyes squeeze shut, and my chest tightens.

“What are you going to do about the girl?” he asks after a moment, completely disregarding what he did all those years ago. That I’m in this mess partly because of him.

I turn and stare at the forest. “I have no idea.”