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WES

“ C ome in.”

I stepped into Krous’s office. “Do you have a moment, Lieutenant General?”

He looked surprised to see me. A pile of papers sat in front of him, pen in hand. Perfectly pressed uniform with pins and medals over his heart. “Mr. Calvernon, sir? I wasn’t expecting you.” He started to rise.

I halted him with my hand. “No need. Just sit.” He settled back into his seat. His office looked just like Sasha’s, and I sat in the chair across from him. “I need to know some information.”

He nodded.

“The truce made with Raúl…when is the prisoner exchange happening?”

His eyes widened. Narrowed. Blinked. “Um…I-I believe tomorrow evening, sir.”

Shit.

Nerves rattled within me. “What were the terms of the truce?”

Krous shifted in his chair. “Shouldn’t you discuss this with your father, sir? ”

“No, I’m discussing it with you.” I cracked my neck. Irritation brewing. “Let me try again. What were the terms of the truce, Lieutenant?”

His brows knitted together. He swallowed.

“The Dissenters need to be removed from Northern territory or be arrested and handed over to the REG by the time of the exchange. The Northern military must retreat from the Telvian border and stand down. Your father already gave the order for that a few hours ago. Miss de la Puente is to be delivered to the Telvian Capital by 1700 hours tomorrow. We’re meeting tonight at your estate to discuss the details. ”

I was down to the wire. Whatever I was going to do, I had to do it fast, or I was going to lose her. “Who’s going to be there?”

“Your father’s cabinet, sir. General Bynes, First Commander Fisher, and myself.”

“My dad, too?”

“Yes, of course. Why?”

I laughed a cynical laugh. Of course my father would host a cabinet meeting without me. “Interesting that I wasn’t invited.”

Krous remained silent. Watching. Waiting.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Eyes closed as I racked my brain for answers. “Mr. Krous, what are your feelings about this truce?”

“Sir?”

I stared at him. Sat up straight. Leaned forward. “Do you agree with this truce or not?”

His eyes looked everywhere but me. He shifted in his chair again. Cleared his throat. “It’s for the good of the region.”

I shook my head. “What if it’s not for the good of the faction? What if my father is being a coward and is giving up before he ever truly tries? Because he cares more about being a king than he does about doing what’s right? What would you say then?”

Krous’s eyes shifted left, then right. Then his eyes told me how he really felt. That he had an unpopular opinion. He squared his jaw, eyes meeting mine. “Then I would say he has to be stopped. ”

“And if the opportunity arose to stop him, would you?”

Krous’s face paled. He frowned. “No.”

Fuck.

***

September—Three Weeks Prior

She tasted like sugar and caramel and chocolate.

She tasted like perfectly spiced wine on a winter’s eve and fresh fruit on a summer afternoon. She was like the cup of coffee you needed after grieving all night, or the first drink of water after feeling thirsty for days.

Mara de la Puente allowed me to kiss her.

Her eyes begged and they prayed and they screamed and they cried for me to taste her. And for once when I held her close, dove into the sea of her eyes, felt myself dare to dream and to hope that Mara might love me…

She said my name.

She tasted the W and the E and caressed the S, and was finally seeing me for who I was, with all of my failures and shortcomings.

Because I was too rough.

Too crude.

Too brass.

Too bold.

And I would never be like Chase.

But I didn’t need to be him to be deserving of her love. To touch her and hold her and kiss her and marry her, because she was choosing me.

Me .

The person that I was. And finally, the ghosts of my past could be laid to rest because I was Wes Calvernon.

I was the First Son of the North .

A soldier for my faction.

A friend, a son, and a brother.

I was Mara’s present, and future, and protector, and savior, and all the things she could ever want me to be. But for once in my life, for now and for always, I was Wes Calvernon and not Chase.

And I would never be Chase again.

She lay in my arms, already asleep, dreaming of what I could only wish was me.

I held her. Felt the gentle weight of her head on my chest as I breathed.

My arms curled around her as though she might disappear if I didn’t hold her close enough.

I rested my head on hers, smelled the perfume in her hair, and felt myself daring to hope.

Fuck, let this be real. Please let this be real. Don’t let me wake up and discover that she was gone. Because this —this moment—felt like the beginning of my life. Like I was finally being allowed to live, to breathe, to exist as something more than just the spare, the extra, the understudy.

And fuck, my mother was right.

You’ll find your own princess one day. And when you do, she’ll mean the world to you.

I closed my eyes. Held her a little closer, loving the way her body felt against mine. Because she truly was the world to me.

Mara quenched a thirst I never realized I had.

Filled a void I didn’t know sat empty in my soul.

She was the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky.

Comets and nebulas and planets in the Milky Way.

She was every tree in the forests, every flower in the meadows, and every blade of grass in the fields of the earth.

Mara was my world—my galaxy—and my fucking god, my mother was right. Because never did I ever believe that I could hold the universe in my arms. That I could kiss the cosmos, and taste the stars, and breathe stardust, and defy gravity like I did tonight.

Because Mara was mine. My princess. My betrothed. My love. My past, present, and now…my future.

And it would all be worth it. Because tomorrow I would face my dad for defying him, for disobeying a direct order, and asking her to marry me.

And no matter what he did to me…

No matter how many hits or pounds or smacks or shots of pain he gave me…

It would be worth it.

Because Mara was worth it to me. She had always been worth it, always was worth it, always would be worth it.

Because that’s what happens when you fall in love with the world and the world chooses you in return.

Because love was death and rebirth and death once again until you resurrected in the clouds of eternity.

And that’s where I was as I held her in my arms. I was in forever, living in perpetuity, breathing in everlasting life.

Because I was the supple petal of a fresh white rose drinking in dewdrops of a promising dawn. And for once, I wasn’t afraid of losing them. I wasn’t afraid they would run away and leave me thirsty and dry once more.

She deserves to know.

I stiffened.

She deserves to know that Chase wasn’t always Chase in Telvia. That sometimes Chase was you.

Would it make a difference? Would Mara really care?

She shifted in my arms. A gentle whimper escaped from her lips as she nestled deeper into my chest. Her leg drifted upwards, entangling with mine. My shirt she was using as a nightgown inched higher up her thigh, making my heart pound at the mere sight of her skin.

I kissed the top of her head. Breathed in the perfume of her hair once more. Held her tighter as I rested my cheek on her crown and felt the familiar burn of angst and fear as I remembered the one secret I kept from her.

I was Chase all those months ago.

But I wasn’t Chase. I was me , and that was the problem.

I was too rough, too crude, too brass, too bold, and I was the one that caused my brother’s demise.

She blamed herself. Believed that by giving up his name to her father, she had condemned him to death.

But Raúl only ever asked for Chase’s name because I was the stupid idiot that dared to touch her.

And I was the fucking idiot who had defied Telvian Enforcement, all to protect her, to save her from an abuse she didn’t deserve.

Be inconspicuous. Be respectful. Be refined.

Smile.

Except that I wasn’t, and I didn’t, and now he was dead. And how would she feel when she discovered I was the one responsible for Chase’s death?

Because I had selfishly allowed her to carry the weight and the guilt of what happened to him, all because I was desperately afraid that she would never forgive me.

Because the world had finally chosen me, and I was holding the universe in my arms, and a secret still sat between us.

I shuddered. Closed my eyes. Felt the guilt and the shame dig deep inside me. Because I was the crude, cheap replica of a better man, and all I wanted was for Mara to love me.

And it came at the price of my brother’s life, and still I refused to come clean.

Because I was stupid, and heartless, and selfish, and everything that deserved to rot in a grave at the bottom of the sea.

I shuddered once more. Held her closer, held her tighter, because I refused to let go now that I finally had her.

Fuck secrets and guilt and shame.

I was heavy.

I was firm.

I was strong .

But Mara made me soft.

And supple.

And gentle.

I was stone crumbling into rose petals.

Because I was me.

I was Wes.