Page 6

WES

May—Five Months Prior

“ H old on, Mara.” I holstered the gun. Grabbed her. Picked her up. Tucked her into me. “Just hang on. I’m getting you out of here.”

She was so weak. So broken. So beaten. Yet she had found the courage to fight. When I saw her at the Presidential Palace, it took restraint I didn’t know I had to keep from hunting down her parents and murdering them with my bare hands.

“But Matias…”

Cold.

Bitter.

Harsh.

It wasn’t just about Chase anymore. It was about Matias. Because while I was fighting off every feeling I had for her, Matias was being the man I should have been.

“Matias can handle himself,” I grunted as I ran. Growled when I spoke.

“No!” She wiggled—a pitiful attempt at freedom from arms that didn’t dare let her go. “We can’t leave them!”

I gripped her tighter. “We’re doing this, Mara. There’s no time.” The camp was gone. Everyone was dead. And she was going to die, too, if I didn’t get her there in time.

“No!” She arched. Threw me off balance.

Rigid.

Heavy.

Granite.

“Damn it, Mara, knock it off!” I held her closer. Raced uphill. I needed to get her to the Training Center before the rescue helicopter arrived. She had to live.

“Wes, please!” Her body shuddered as she cried. “Please!”

I didn’t let go. I couldn’t let her die. I gripped harder.

“Wes! Let me go now !” she screamed. “Your brother never would have run away from his friends!”

The spare.

The extra.

The screw up.

I stiffened. I stopped. I almost threw her to the ground as my arms shook with fatigue.

She dropped from my arms, staggering back. I clenched my fists.

Pain.

Hurt.

Regret.

I trained my eyes on the dirt.

“Oh my god, Wes, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. It’s just—”

“ Don’t .” Torture. Why did it always have to feel like torture?

“I’m sorry, but we have to go back,” she pleaded. “We have to help—”

I cut her off. “I know you don’t like me, and that’s okay. ”

“Wes, I do—”

“Stop it.” One raised hand silenced her. “I know you don’t like me, and I don’t expect you to.” Deep breath. My hand dropped back to my side. “I know you care a lot about Matias.”

“And Edith. We need to go—”

I looked up at her. Shoved my hands through my hair. “Fuck, Mara, would you just shut up and listen to me?”

Torture.

Agony.

Torment.

It was a hurricane inside of me.

I noticed her blood. Smelled her fear. Read the sorrow in her eyes.

And why the fuck did I always have to look into those eyes? Why the hell did I have to crumble when I looked into the depths of her eyes?

Because those eyes had layers and layers and layers of emotions and thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams and desires that I wished were all there for me to read.

To turn page after page, letting the whispers and murmurs and cries and screams of her soul consume me until I was nothing more than melted rock on the floor.

“I get it. I get you care about them. I do. And trust me, I know I’m not my brother.” I breathed. I closed my eyes. “I wish I was. I swear , I wish I was. And I wish he was still alive. But he’s dead, and I’m not him. And I’m so sorry that’s how it is.”

I saw her. I wanted nothing more than to be the person she craved, but I wasn’t, and it killed me.

“But for god’s sake, let me save you. And damn it, Mara, whether you like it or not, I’m going to get you out of here.

” Because she had to live. It didn’t matter that I was Wes and not Chase.

It didn’t matter that I was the spare, the extra, the understudy.

Because Mara had to live. I couldn’t live with myself otherwise.

And I was going to guarantee it.

“I’m going to keep you safe. And if you want to hate me forever like everyone else, that’s fine by me, but you’ll be alive.” I consumed the distance between us. Watched as her whole body trembled under my gaze.

And those lips. My fucking god, those lips. What I would have given to taste them right then as they parted.

“W-what are you saying?”

I unraveled.

“I was scared, Mara. When I found out they took you, and you were gone, I was fucking scared. And I hate you for it.”

And I hated myself. Because I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t keep my brother’s promised locked out of my heart. Because all it took was the glisten of her tears, the sound of her laughter, or a glance into those deep brown eyes.

Because she was the crash of ocean waves, and the ripple of a babbling brook, and the patter of rain on green leaves. She was the whispers in the wind, and the songs of birds, and the call of wolves to the moon.

“That’s why I came after you. I’d rather risk dying myself than sit in that infirmary freaking the fuck out about you.”

I shoved my hands through my hair as days and weeks and months of angst and sorrow and grief and love came pouring out of me, bleeding me dry.

And suddenly…

I was nothing more than the supple petal of a fresh white rose again. And I was speaking and saying and voicing the things that I knew to be true and haunted my every waking hour. Because, for once, I was just myself.

Not Chase.

I was just Wes. And that’s all I could offer her.

** *

September—Three Weeks Prior

“What about this one?” Edith had a way of squealing when she found something she liked.

I faced her. Walked to the jewelry case. Peered at what had to be the largest fucking diamond in the entire damn store. “Are you serious?”

“The bigger the better, Wessy-boy.” She slapped me on the back, causing me to grunt.

“You’d like my grandma’s ring then,” I smirked. “Maybe I’m marrying the wrong girl.”

“Ha! Funny . You’re funny. Prince Grumpy Ass has jokes. Has Mara seen this side of you yet?”

I ignored her, and continued scanning the rings in the case.

Glimmer.

Glitter.

Glint.

“That one. What about that one?”

Edith looked. Grinned. “Going for the gold, eh? I like it.”

I stood up. Rubbed the back of my head, unsure. I didn’t want like . I wanted love . “She said it was her favorite color.”

She arched a brow. “She did, did she? And how did that come up?”

“I asked her.”

“ You asked her?”

“Yes. I asked her. After she asked me mine, I asked Mara hers.”

Another wicked grin. “ She asked you. Is that right?”

I looked back at the yellow diamond. “Yes.”

“Good girl.”

I looked at her again. “What?”

She waved her hand. “Never mind. So, was this before or after this whole you show me yours and I’ll show you mine shenanigans?”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about? ”

She waved her hand again. Rolled her eyes as she groaned. “Never mind, never mind. You guys are like ancient tortoises…”

I shook my head. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means you two move like molasses, okay? You two have the most complicated romance in the history of romances, and instead of putting the pedal to the metal and burning rubber, you drag ass about it.”

I looked back at the case. Shook my head again.

Exasperating. She was exasperating . No one knew Mara better, but Edith wouldn’t shut up. She just kept talking and talking and talking.

“You guys are going to have the sex life of plankton, I swear. I mean, have you even kissed her yet?”

I stiffened.

“Holy lord…” she groaned again. “Christ probably saw more action, dude. Are you serious?”

I worked my jaw. “Are you going to help me or not?”

Hand on her hip, she glowered. “Why? At this rate, we’re all going to die and come back as mummies before you figure out where all the parts go. And by then it’s going to be all shriveled up like a dehydrated zucchini—”

I whirled on her. Snapped. “Are you done?”

She crossed her arms. Glared at me. “Have you even told her yet?”

Frozen.

Ice cold.

Her jaw dropped. Her eyes widened. “You haven’t told her yet ? Are you freaking kidding me?”

I looked away. “It’s not important. She doesn’t have to know.”

“She doesn’t have to—oh my freaking god. I can’t—” She paused.

I looked at her again.

Edith looked like she was about to serve me as dinner to a Komodo dragon. “She deserves to know, Wes. That’s not fair to keep that from her. She deserves to know that Chase wasn’t always Chase in Telvia. That sometimes Chase was you . ”

“I’m not Chase, Edith. And I wasn’t Chase then either.”

“You weren’t Chase except that you were . You were Chase to her , Wes. Mara deserves to know that those feelings she felt for Chase were feelings she felt for you —”

“ No .”

Unyielding.

Unwavering.

Unbending.

“What do you mean, no ? Are you nuts! You’re seriously going to marry the girl and never tell her the truth? What, you don’t think she’ll find out?”

“Stop it, Edith.”

“You’re going to start a marriage founded on secrets? In what world does that sound remotely like a good idea?”

“Knock it off.”

She pointed at me. Serious lines across her face. “No, you knock it off. When are you going to stop living in your brother’s shadow? You’re chasing waterfalls, Romeo, and I think you’ve done that enough already.”

I looked away, eyes falling on the honey-colored diamond.

Edith didn’t understand.

Nobody understood.

I wanted Mara to choose me for me . For who I was. Not for who she thought I was in Telvia. Not for the version of me that was impersonating someone far better than me.

Because that was the hardest part.

Mara was already being pushed into marrying me, and I knew that.

I wasn’t a real choice.

I was being forced on her. An arranged marriage she never wanted. That was bad enough.

Painful enough .

But maybe—and I knew I was a fucking idiot for even trying—but maybe…I could help her see that I was worthy of her heart, too.

Because I loved her.

I always loved her.

And I just wanted her to love me in return.