Page 6

“ H ey, ol’ buddy,” my dad greets me, closing his laptop as I walk up to his table at The Wolfpack. I can’t help but search the staff members’ faces, even though I already know the answer. She isn’t here. Because when my dad suggested meeting here for a quick lunch, I pathetically asked Graham, who confirmed that Berkley didn’t work on Fridays. No matter how badly I want to see her again, I don’t want to put her in an awkward situation because she and my dad were always tight when we were together.

And after I caught a glimpse of her across campus on Wednesday, and she immediately turned and went in the opposite direction, I know for a fact she doesn’t want me to just show up while she’s on the clock.

My dad stands up, wrapping me up in a hug.

“Glad you’re here,” I say, loving the familiarity of his embrace.

“I wouldn’t miss your first big game.” He nods toward the chicken breast and salad he ordered for me since I don’t have a lot of time between class and reviewing game film before practice. “Now eat up. You don’t have much time.”

“I’m sure she texted you, but your sister was so torn about not coming. She’ll come to the next game with me, for sure.”

“Good. I’m glad she listened for once.” I take a bite of my salad, chewing before I continue, “I remember how fun the weekend before senior year was in Nori Beach, the last taste of freedom before the end of summer.”

My dad chuckles, closing his eyes briefly. “Don’t remind me. I try my best to be fair and give her the same freedoms you had, but I worry about her ten times more than I did you.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, bud.”

“Well, you knew I had Berkley keeping me straight.” The words are out of my mouth before I even think to tamp them down.

A sad look takes over my dad’s face. “Have you seen her yet?”

I swallow thickly at the memory of last Sunday and nod.

“Not so good?” he asks, probably from the solemn look on my face.

“Yeah, it didn’t go quite as planned. She’s umm…” It kills me to say it. “She’s dating Carter Graves now.”

“Well, shit…” My dad huffs in surprise. “I didn’t see that coming. She’s so far out of that dude’s league, it isn’t even funny.”

Couldn’t agree more with you, Pops.

The waitress walks up to check on us and refill our waters. “Hey, you’re our new quarterback, aren’t you?”

I smile up at her. “Guilty.”

“Well, you know if y’all win tomorrow, you’ll have to come eat this every Friday before a home game.” It’s her attempt at flirting, but the only thing I can think about is whether she knows Berkley or not.

I chuckle in good fun. “For sure. Couldn’t do it without this chicken and lettuce.”

She smiles. “Let me know if you need anything else, QB1.”

My dad and I both thank her, and he jumps right back into our discussion about Berkley.

“Have you thought any more about being honest with her?”

I push the salad around my plate with my fork. “Yeah, a lot, actually, but then it feels selfish of me to do it now, like it was all for nothing, and then it might end in the same result for her…or maybe it won’t. Maybe now that it’s all said and done, it wouldn’t change much. I don’t know. It’s never not on my mind, but I’m not sure what to do.”

He sets down his burger and puts on his serious face. “I’ve always been team you-being-honest-with-her, but after a conversation I had with your mom the other day, I definitely think you should be.”

I drop my fork at the mention of my mother. “You talked to her?”

He looks at me incredulously. “We have two children together, one who lives with me full time. Of course, I talk to her.”

Shaking my head, I roll my eyes. “Yeah, okay, well…what did she say that made you feel the need to bring her up?”

“For one, she wants to come to a game, but I told her that was a discussion she should have with you, not me.”

I don’t respond to that because, honestly, my mom is a sore subject, and I don’t have the energy to worry about seeing her right now.

“But she also told me something I found interesting. She said that Berkley never goes home to Nori Beach. She hasn’t been back in over a year.”

My eyebrows pinch together. “That doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t she go there? Unless her dad comes here often.”

I make a mental note to ask Graham if he’s seen Mr. Black.

“I don’t know, Nathan, but I think it adds to the fact that you and her need to have a real conversation. Put your pride about Graves aside and talk to her. I want to see my son happy again, even when he’s not on the football field.”

I consider his statement, swallowing roughly I reply, “Okay, Dad…subject change.”

He takes a sip of his water. “Okay, okay. How you feelin’ about tomorrow?”

I smile at that thought. “I’m excited. We have a good thing going. I love being back with Graham. And my other roommate, Nola, is untouchable; we have real chemistry on the field. He’s going to make me look good.”

“I figured you and Graham would fall back into it. Even in high school, you guys had the Mahomes-Kelce thing going on. I’m excited to see this other kid play. How about your defense?”

Offense scores points, defense wins ball games. I remember him saying this to me since I was in little league.

“They’re giving me a run for my money in practice, so that’s a good sign. They do have a hard time keeping up with Nola, but I’m telling you, he’s just one of those players. He’ll no doubt be a first-round draft pick in a few years if he stays healthy.”

My dad and I continue eating our meals as he fills me in on life back in Nori and my free-spirited sister’s latest antics.

As soon as we finish eating, I notice a man out of the corner of my eye approaching our table. We both look toward him.

“Hey there, gentlemen. I’m Phil, the owner of The Wolfpack.” He reaches out, shaking my dad’s hand first, then mine. “Outlaw, glad to have you here.”

The Howler report plastered me in my practice jersey across the front of their release today, so I guess I’m easy to spot.

“Thank you. The food and service have been great. Just meeting my dad for a bite before film.”

“Well, I just wanted to say hello and ask a favor of you.” He looks bashful with the last part of the statement.

“Sure, what’s up?”

That’s when I notice the jersey he has slung over his shoulder. “I have your jersey and was hoping you’d sign it so we can put it on the wall with the other legends,” he says, pointing to the wall behind where we sit.

“Of course, I’d be honored.” My first thought is that Berkley will see it every shift. Now I just need to work on her not admiring it with disdain.

He passes me a Sharpie, and I sign my name and the number two on the back of the jersey. “All set.”

“My son’s going to go crazy for this. He’s been a fan since we watched you at Texas Tech,” he says, holding up the jersey.

I smile at that; I remember being a young fan idolizing my football heroes. “What size is he?”

His mouth drops open before saying, “Seriously?”

I laugh, smiling. “Absolutely. I probably won’t have time this weekend, but maybe I can swing it by on Monday.”

“Anytime. And he’s a youth medium or maybe even a youth large, so he can wear it longer. You have no idea how excited he’s going to be.”

“Happy to do it.”

He pats me on the shoulder and shakes my dad’s hand again. “Hope to see you both in here again soon. Your meal is on the house.”

We both tell him he doesn’t need to do that, but he waves us off and heads toward the back.

“Nice guy. I should try to get his kid tickets too,” I say, and my dad just smiles at me.

“I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you.” He glances at his watch. “I don’t want you to be late. You better get out of here. I’m going to stay and work on my laptop a little longer.”

“Okay, I’ll see you after the game tomorrow, right?” I confirm with him as I stand.

“Of course, ol’ buddy.” He hugs me and kisses the top of the head. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Through everything, my dad has been my constant, and I want him to have his own happiness, not just living for me and Willow.

I take a few steps away from him and turn back. “Let me hear them.”

He smiles, knowing exactly what I want.

Positive manifestations for tomorrow.

“Four touchdowns.” Holding up four fingers, he then points one at me. “One of which you run into the end zone yourself. And a big win over Tennessee.”

“I like the sound of those.”

I’ll be writing them in my playbook tonight and adding one of my own.

Berkley in the stands, wearing anything but Graves’s jersey.

Berkley

“If I don’t eat something pronto, I think I might die,” Darby groans, linking her arm with mine as we walk through campus. The attempt is quite comical with our height difference.

“Hey to you too,” I chuckle.

“First week of classes always kicks my ass. I need a pick-me-up if I'm going to make it out tonight.”

“Ahh, yes, the Kappa Sigma party. How could I forget,” I tease.

“Oh, stop, you know damn well if you weren’t babysitting, you’d be there, right alongside me and Bell.”

“Yes, their parties are wild… Just don’t forget Bell is superhuman and doesn’t get hungover, and Cash and Mav will be dragging us to that field first thing in the morning. So don’t try keeping up with her.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know my limits.” She waves me off as we enter the café.

By the time we sit down with our order, Bellamy joins us at our booth with her signature iced coffee in hand. Looking pissed as hell, I might add.

“You’re never going to believe this. Remember, I was all excited about the new psych professor this semester? Well, there were some schedule changes, and now I have Professor Douglas. Ugh, shoot me now.”

“Professor Douglas, the major creep? Like, don’t sit in the front row with a skirt on, Professor Douglas?” Darby confirms as she throws her brunette hair into a high ponytail.

“Yup, that one!” Bellamy says, groaning as she steals a piece of fruit from my bowl.

“I'm sorry, Bell. Is there any way to drop it?”

“I wish, but because I was late to declare my major, I'm behind on my prerequisites. So no, I need this class this semester in order to stay on track to graduate.”

“Ugh, I hate that for you; that creep shouldn’t even have a job. Guess it’s sweatpants and hoodies for you this semester.” Darby tries to lighten the mood.

“Yes, and sit wayyy in the back,” I add.

My phone vibrates with a notification, and flipping it over, I see a message from my friend, Lottie.

Lottie

Greyson and I will be at the game tomorrow… Where are you guys pre-gaming?

“Lottie is going to the game tomorrow and wants to know tailgating details. Where are we meeting?”

“Aww, yay! I miss her. Let me confirm with Mav. He mentioned something, but I totally spaced. Tell her I’ll text her later and let her know,” Bellamy says.

Me

Bell said she’ll talk to the guys and let you know. Can't wait to see you and catch up!

I haven’t seen Lottie since the beginning of the summer, so we definitely have a lot to catch up on. Now that she’s declared her major, she’s been on the western campus, so I won’t get to see her as often in the quad and between classes as we used to.

Lottie

Okay, babes, I’ll see you tomorrow! Xoxo

Looking at the time on my phone, I realize I need to head to The Wolfpack to meet Tiffany and grab the kids.

“I have to go soon. Picking up the rat pack at three,” I announce, and start cleaning up my tray.

“Alright, I have basketball workouts in a bit so I’m going to chill… I love playing but damn am I going to miss happy hour Fridays. Darby says with such a dramatic flair, I can't help but laugh.

“Okay, Drama, you’ll survive sans happy hour. Just think by the spring you’ll be back at it and you won’t have to use a fake id anymore.”

I leave the two of them to debate the significance of getting to happy hour on time and head across campus toward The Wolfpack.

I’ve tried my best these last few days to take the long way through campus, so I don’t have an accidental run-in with you know who. But today I have to hope for the best since I'm already running behind to pick up the kids, and the quickest way to town is straight through the quad. I’m looking forward to seeing those munchkins tonight. A summer away is a long time, and I’ve missed them like crazy. I’ve been watching them since my second semester freshmen year when I got a job at The Wolfpack.

Shit, shit, shit.

Fuck my luck because, of course, dead straight in my path are Nathan Outlaw and Nola, swarmed by their adoring fans. Ugh, it makes me want to puke. Keeping my head down, I trudge onward, right past the groupies and the two men who seem to be eating that shit up.I chance a glance in their direction and can’t help but notice the superstar smiles they’re both sporting as they chat with the gorgeous girls pawing at them.

The two of them together are a dream. Nola has always been big with the ladies with his caramel brown skin, green eyes, and endless charm. Making him a well-sought-after member of the MRU football team. He’s handsome as hell, but in my eyes he doesn’t hold a candle to the guy who stole my heart years ago, Nathan Outlaw. He’s so damn good looking, it hurts. His brown hair is perfectly tousled, curling ever-so-slightly at its ends. The hazel of his eyes shines brightly, and I'm sure every girl’s heart stops dead in its tracks when his attention is focused on them. And don’t even get me started on the new sleeve of tattoos he’s sporting. Ugh. I haven’t given myself permission to ogle the new addition openly, but it’s massive and extremely detailed. Everything about him is fucking perfect, and it drives me insane.

Slews of comments and curses come to my mind, but I bite my tongue and pass without a word. Good job, B, I internally praise, patting myself on the back. I can't let the sight of him dampen my mood because, let’s be real, I'm going to be seeing a lot of him.

But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing the swarms of girls, and that’s why I blocked him on all my social media. I didn’t want the constant reminder of something that was no longer mine. That he was now free to be touched by anyone other than me. And walking past what I just saw stirs up a fuck-ton of those old emotions. Jealousy rearing its ugly green head yet again.

I stew for the entire walk to town. Replaying the dumb smile that he gave to every one of those cleat chasers. I arrive at The Wolfpack with a few minutes to spare and make my way inside to wait for Tiffany, releasing a breath that I’m now in the clear.

I'm waiting by the bar, sipping on a Diet Coke, when I hear my name being called.

Wait, that voice sounds familiar. Whipping my head around, I find Mr. Outlaw walking in my direction.

“I thought that was you,” he says with a genuine smile. The sight of him thaws my heart from the frost that has slowly crept in over the last few days.

Snapping out of my shock, I give him a genuine smile right back. “Brian.” I lean up to hug him.

“It’s been too long. How’s school going? Still doing education?” he asks. He’s always been such a wonderful man. Fully invested in his kids’ lives, their happiness, and their successes. Which means, while I was with Nate, he was invested in me, too. My chest twinges at that thought.

“I love it here, and yes, early childhood education,” I beam proudly.

“Always thought you would make a wonderful teacher. So much patience and compassion. You’re going to do great.” His hand squeezes my shoulder lightly.

“Here for the big game?” I ask, knowing he’s one of those parents who’s at every practice, every tournament, and every home game if possible.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. He scared the crap out of us last year when he got injured, but I'm glad MRU had the wherewithal to approach my boy.”

“He’ll do great, I'm sure,” I say, trying to tiptoe around the topic.

“Listen, I know it’s not my place or any of my business…but I’m going to say it anyway. I think you two should talk. Clear the air, maybe start the school year off on a better foot. It's been two years of radio silence, so I'm sure you both have a lot to say. I told Nate the same thing today. He has some things he needs to get off his chest.”

My stomach sinks at that. What else could he need to tell me? Taking me back to that last night we spent together in Nori Beach, my mind spins with scenarios. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say with a sad smile. I mean, he’s not wrong. It would make life easier if we were to talk…but am I ready to hear what he has to say is the real question?

Mr. Outlaw takes a look at his watch. “Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you in the stands tomorrow,” he says, rather than asks.

“Go, MRU,” I cheer, and he hugs me goodbye with a chuckle before walking out the doors.

I close my eyes and regain my composure, just as tiny squeals fill the air.

With my arms splayed wide open, I spin toward the stampede of kids heading in my direction.

“You’re back!” the oldest, Josie, says as she dives in for a hug.

“I missed you guys so much,” I say while rustling PJ’s hair, who decided to latch onto my leg.

Jack stands a foot away, looking at his feet sheepishly.

“What are you, too cool to give me a hug?” I ask him, reaching out to pull him closer. He smiles and wraps his arm around my middle.

Tiffany comes through the doors, holding on to Gwen, looking like she just stepped out of a windstorm.

“Oh, thank heavens you’re back. We’ve missed you so much!” Tiffany exclaims as she leans in to give me a hug.

When she puts Gwen down, I'm expecting the littlest to dive at me, but instead she eyes me cautiously, and I squat down to be at eye level.

She juts her chin out at me. “You’re back,” she says, all nonchalant.

I stifle a laugh. “Yes, I'm back.”

“Was it worth it? The trip and all?” PJ asks from where he’s still clutching onto me.

This time it’s Tiffany who’s holding in her laugh. “I did have a great time, if that’s what you mean.”

“Well, I guess I'm happy you had a good time. But was it worth leaving me?” PJ asks, his big doe eyes doing their job to guilt me.

“Aw, I missed you all terribly.”

Gwen hesitates for a beat longer, then comes crashing into my arms, and I hold her close. She pulls back slightly. “You missed me most.”

“Is that so?”

“Mmmhmm, but shhh.” She grins, then wraps her arms around me again.

With all their love surrounding me, I feel my body decompress from the stress of the last two weeks. Being with them brings me back that sense of normalcy I’ve been craving, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my night catching up with my favorite kids. This is exactly what I need, and I know they’ll keep me busy enough that I won’t dwell on tomorrow.

Just as I grab the to-go food from the counter, I hear Phil calling out Jack’s name. We turn to face him as he walks out of his office, a maroon shirt in his hands.

“Jack, I thought you might want to help me hang up the newest addition to the jersey wall.”

He beams at his dad, more than happy to help him.

“I was waiting for you to do it… Look, buddy. I got Nathan Outlaw’s new jersey. He signed it, too!” Phil beams as he holds out the jersey for his son to see.

And just like that, another piece of my life has been infiltrated.

Seems like I’m destined to forever see reminders of him through my shattered rose-colored glasses.