Page 10

T here’s a peace that settles over me as we all sit around the guys’ massive table, eating the dinner Gigi made for us. Whenever our Sunday schedules align, we all come to The Wolves Den and eat together. This is Nola’s first official year living here, but he has deemed himself the main chef of the house, and from what I hear, he’s a phenomenal cook. We usually all take turns cooking and buying unless Gigi blesses us with one of her nine-by-thirteen Pyrex dishes of goodness.

When I found out Nate was living here, I wasn’t sure if I’d still come to these dinners. They’re a more intimate setting than parties.

Now my issue isn’t coming here; it’s keeping my damn eyes and thoughts off of him. It’s really hard, especially when I can feel his eyes on me from across the table. I know he sat there on purpose, so every time I look up from my plate, it would be his stupidly handsome face I’d see.

He looked so fucking hot today. His massive chest on full display, his tattoo hugging one of his sculpted arms perfectly. And let’s not forget about how his swim trunks were just the chef’s kiss. Accentuating his strong thighs and ass. Ugh!

It’s infuriating to be so turned on by someone, yet also hating them with every fiber of your being.

“Man, Gigi Leblanc can cook. This lasagna is delicious,” Nola praises for what seems like the third time since we started. He squeezes Maverick’s shoulder enthusiastically.

“Yeah, when she heard it was superstar’s favorite, she knew it would be the perfect meal to celebrate the big win,” Mav says, pointing his fork in Nate’s direction, before turning his attention back to Nola. “I have orders to find out your favorite home cooked meal because she says you’re next.”

Nola smiles excitedly and takes another bite.

“Thanks, guys. You didn’t have to go through all that trouble. Shit, Graham, I’m surprised you even remembered it was my fav,” Nate says, directing his focus to Graham, who’s sitting to my right.

Graham not-so-subtly tilts his head in my direction. “Might’ve had a little help.”

Nate sets his gaze on me and I know my cheeks are probably as red as can be under his attention.

“Way to blow up my spot,” I whisper to Graham through tight lips.

“Like he really thought I remembered he loved lasagna…” Graham chastises me, then shovels another forkful into his mouth.

My phone vibrates on my lap, and I peer down to see a notification from Carter. I internally roll my eyes before swiping open the message.

Carter

I’m sorry I missed today. Hope you didn’t have too much fun without me. Send me a pic of you, so I have something to think of later

Anger simmers in my belly. So he’s not going to contact me all day, then he’s going to act like last night didn’t happen. WTF?

Me

We had a great time today. At the wolves den now for dinner. We will talk later. We still need to discuss what went down last night.

I know mentioning the den would be a sore subject for him, but fuck that. He was acting like a spoiled child last night, so he deserves to suffer a little.

Carter

Ah, I see how it is. Yup, we’ll talk later.

I watch as the three dots appear and disappear multiple times before giving up on the conversation and focusing back on my friends. Frustration bubbles just below the surface, though.

Bellamy leans in, noticing the change in my demeanor. “You good?”

“Yeah, Carter finally texted… He seems pissed I'm here,” I answer truthfully. I keep my voice down, so the rest of the group doesn’t hear.

“Whatever. He deserves to be brought down a peg or two. Especially after last night. He was being a dick.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me. Let’s just drop it for now. I don’t want him to ruin my day,” I say, and she does without questioning me further.

That’s another thing I love about this girl. She’ll always have my back, no matter how reckless my decisions may be. She’s there for me. Darby would be in my corner too, but she had a team bonding thing tonight and had to skip out on dinner.

We all chip in to clear the table; Bell and I are on kitchen duty this week, so I'm stationed at the sink, loading the dishwasher while she puts away the leftovers.

I feel his presence behind me before he even speaks. “I’ll meet you all outside.”

Peeking over my shoulder at him, his nearness catching me a little off guard.

“I have to call Willow back; she’s called twice already today,” Nate replies to my wordless question.

I turn to him. “Is everything alright?” I ask, unsure if something might be wrong.

“She’s fine… Save me a spot?” he says with his mouth mere inches from my ear while his fingers make contact with my hip, and sensation floods my core yet again. Just like it did early today at the pool. Between his hands on me during the game and his whispered filthy words, I was a slut for his attention. Clenching my thighs together more than several times. I fight with all that I have not to lean back into him. I can’t give in so easily after all this time.

But how easy it would be…

I clear my throat and those thoughts. “Ugh, yeah, sure. Prob won’t be here too late; Bell has an early Monday class.”

I swear I feel his body shift just a smidge closer before he’s gone, and I release the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

Fuck, did I want him to kiss me? To touch me more?

“Ladies, hurry up, we have the firepit going for some s’mores,” Mav yells from the back door. That helps us pick up our speed, and we finish in no time, then head out to the back deck.

I’ve always loved hanging out back here. The view they have of the mountains from the fire pit area is breathtaking, especially with the late summer sunset painting the sky.

Bell and I share a bench, while Mav, Cash, Graham, and Nola sit in their Adirondack chairs. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not disappointed Nate went upstairs instead of joining us out here. But what does that say about me? Am I weak for thinking that?

I'm lost in the flames of the fire when I smell the smoke from the joint Bell just lit up. She passes it my way, and I gladly accept the reprieve the high will give my racing mind.

I'm about to pass it back when Mav reaches for it. As I go to pull it away, a handsome grin spreads across his face.

“Chill, B, it’s no longer tested for. I'm allowed,” he chuckles.

I look to Bellamy for confirmation, like she’s their keeper. She just nods with a go-ahead look on her face.

Nola and Graham both decline since they’re in season, swearing they’ll participate when it’s over, but Cash, Mav, Bell, and I all take turns passing it along.

Once we’re done, we turn our attention to the s’mores construction. This is quite the comic relief… It seems the higher the individual, the crazier their concoctions. I think Mav had the winning combination with his Oreo peanut butter cup. My favorite out of the bunch, for sure, was using a Rolo instead of a Hersey’s bar.

I make an extra s’more, deciding I’ll bring it up to Nate and make sure everything is okay with Willow. I know this isn’t a good idea, especially since I’m trying to keep my distance, but I ignore that voice as I get up and walk inside, deliberately avoiding Bellamy’s gaze as I go. Letting the weed make the decisions for me, light and easygoing, nothing to be concerned about.

My knuckles wrap gently on his bedroom door, and I wait patiently for him to answer. I knock again after my first attempt goes unanswered. No answer.

Did he fall asleep?

The door is unlocked when I test it, and I open it just a crack to peek inside. My senses are immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Subconsciously, I take a deep inhale. God, he’s always smelled so good.

Spotting Nate at his desk, I notice he has his headphones on and didn’t hear me knocking. So I make my way across the room, sliding the s’more onto his desk in front of him, careful not to make a mess of the journal he’s writing in.

He slips off his headphones, and his million-dollar smile spreads across his face when he sees me.

“Sorry, I was about to come back down…” He looks from me to the s’more. “Aw, thank you. This looks delicious,” he says, wasting no time and taking a bite.

“Wait, was there caramel in that?”

I smile shyly, knowing that’s another one of his favorites. “Yeah, out of all the combinations, I thought the Rolo was the best.”

“Fucking delicious. Good call.”

“Is Willow okay?” I ask, my voice full of concern. Knowing what I know now about his parents, I regret not staying in touch with her.

“Yeah, I assumed it was something about my mom, but really, she just wanted an update on life after my first win…” He swallows, then adds, “And you.”

I stand there staring at him, taking in the sight of his shirtless chest for the second time today. Except this time, I'm not surrounded by a crowd of people. It's just him and me…alone.

Closing my eyes, I try to steel my resolve. Why do I keep putting myself in this position?

Because you want to.

“Thank you for today,” Nate says, causing my eyes to pop open.

“For what?”

“For allowing us to have fun and for my lasagna,” he winks.

I chuckle and roll my eyes. “I had a good time today. And for the record, Graham asked me what your favorite was.”

“And you could have said beef stew…”

“But you hate beef stew,” I reply, crinkling my nose as he stands up from his chair. Putting himself in dangerously close range to my racing heart.

“Exactly,” he whispers, tilting my chin to look him in the eyes. “That’s why I said thank you.”

“Well, I guess you're welcome… It was no big deal.” I try my best to make it seem like it was nothing with my casual tone. But when Graham had texted me the question, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind what I would say.

“It was to me,” he says, his chin sinking down to his chest. And that’s when, just over his shoulder, I spot something hanging on the inside of his closet door. My belly swoops.

No way.

I walk around him in disbelief as I approach the mounted collage. The one I made for him. My fingers trace over the photos as the memories come flooding in. Our love and happiness pictured in every photo has my heart hammering. He kept it…

Spinning around, I'm startled by Nate’s close proximity to me. He reaches for my hip and pulls me in closer. And I don’t resist. His forehead rests on mine as we stand in comfortable silence.

“I’ve looked at those photos every day,” he admits, pulling back and brushing a wild strand of hair out of my face.

My breath stutters, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm leaning up on my tiptoes and gently coasting my lips across his. His fingers tighten as I deepen the kiss for only a moment. My body melts at the feel of his lips on mine. Knowing this isn’t right, knowing I can’t handle being hurt by him again, I stop myself from taking this any further. This is all too fucking confusing.

Placing my hand on his chest, I push away slowly. “Goodnight, Nate,” I say, then turn and walk out of the room before I dig myself an even deeper hole.

As soon as I’m out of his room, I lean against the wall outside of his closed door, catching my breath. My fingers trace over my lips that still tingle from touching his after all this time.

I close my eyes and silently berate my decisions. I’m not sure if I'm more pissed at myself for what I’ve done, or for the fact that I want to do it again.