Page 68 of Reckoning

We stand, staring at each other awkwardly for a moment and then he mumbles about leaving me to it. I don’t even know which way is the front of the house but clearly Roman does so apparently he’s been here before. I follow after him, saying my goodbyes and once the door shuts I stand there, listening to the roar of his engine, to the sound of his tyres on the drive, to the confirmation that he has truly done as I asked.

And then I don’t know what to do.

Suddenly I feel nervous, so nervous, like a little girl so far out of her depth. I talked a good game but reality is really starting to bite.

“He’s gone?”

I spin around, facing Koen, seeing him stood close enough to touch. The air seems to bristle with tension, but maybe that’s just my head imagining it.

“Yes.” I say.

He draws in a long breath, running his eyes over me, still in his t-shirt, still barefoot.

“Do you want a shower?”

“I have nothing to wear.” I say back. It’s not exactly an answer but if I do shower, what then? I can’t walk around in a towel all day. And I can hardly wear Koen’s clothes, he’s got to be twice my size.

“The maids got you some clothes. If you want we can get your stuff later.”

Like I’m properly moving in? I guess it makes sense. I did just declare that I wanted to stay here, but now my head is starting to whirl with the reality of what I’ve done.

He tilts his head, scrutinising me more. “We should talk.”

Talk. Right. That would make sense. That’s the logical thing to do.

I follow him back into the kitchen, sit back on that same barstool and watch as he pours out two more cups of coffee.

“How does this work?” I ask, trying to steer the conversation, trying to take some form of control.

“How does what work?”

“You. And me.” I reply. And my damned face burns up like an oven.

He leans back against the counter, obviously considering what his next words are. “What do you want, Sofia? You asked to stay here, how did you imagine that to be?”

I drop my gaze, staring at the black liquid in my hands. “I, I didn’t think beyond…”

“Last night you seemed happy enough to be in my bed.”

I gulp feeling like I’ve set myself up for this, once more I’ve created a situation I can’t get out of. He shakes his head, his eyes flitting to something akin to sympathy and for a second I hate it. I hate that softness, that kindness. Koen is meant to be an arsehole, a man so ruthless he doesn’t feel any other emotions beyond hate and revenge. I hate that even he looks at me like that.

Maybe that’s why I do it. Maybe it’s my pride that that makes me act.

“I’ll make you a deal.” I say quickly, fixing him with a look I hope makes him realise how serious I am. “You’re hunting them. You’re killing the men who hurt me. I want in. I want to be a part of it.”

“No.”

“Koen,”

He tilts his head, his face so close to mine that I’d only have to lean forward a little and…. Stop it.

“I want in.” I state.

“I’m not putting you in danger.”

“I won’t be in danger if I’m with you.”

His lips curl in amusement. “You trust me that much, Little Devil?”