Page 14 of Reckoning

“He tried, Sofia, but apparently you keep ignoring him.”

I bristle more. “It’s none of his business.”

Roman shakes his head. “I want to help, I want to…”

“What?”

He grits his teeth. We’ve never argued, not properly. I don’t know why but we’ve always just understood one another, understood what the other needed. But that was before. Before everything went to shit, before I lost who I was, before they broke me, before I became nothing but a figure of sympathy to this city, a victim to feel bad for, and whisper about behind my back.

“You burnt the house down.” He says again.

I let out a chuckle and the tension that’s been slowly festering seems to subside. “What did you expect? I had to do something.”

He shrugs. “You could have sold it. It was worth a fortune.”

I jerk my chin. “I don’t want his money and besides, selling it gives the wrong message.”

“What message is that?”

“That my forgiveness can be bought.”

His eyes flash. His hands move to grip my shoulders and I feel that awful twist at the contact. “Nobody thinks that, Sofia.”

“No?” I murmur.

“If you speak to Hastings, we can bring them to justice.”

I scoff. Like hell I’m going to do that. “I don’t want that sort of justice.”

“Then what do you want?”

I step back, pulling from his reach. I’m not his little sister anymore, I’m not the sad little girl who grew up without her mother, who needed her big brother to protect her. I need him to understand that. I need him to see who I am now. Who I’ve become.

“I want revenge, Roman.”

“Hastings can give you that.”

“No, he won’t.” I spit. “I go to him and the entire city gets to hear what really happened. They get to revel in all the horror of it, they get to feast on every nasty little detail.”

“It won’t be like that.”

“No?” I snap. “Like it wasn’t for Rose? You saw what they did, you saw what happened after Paris died. The gossip columns went wild with all the juicy details of how he abused her. What do you think they’ll do when they hear what Otto and his mates did to me?”

Roman’s eyes flash. “Darius was behind that.”

“It doesn’t matter who is behind it, Roman, this city hasn’t changed.” I state.

“I want to help you.”

I let out a ragged breath. My heart is thumping, that awful sickening feeling is telling me how close I am to a full blown panic attack. I dig my nails into my palms using the pain to focus my headspace. I won’t lose it now. I won’t let him see me as weak.

“I know.” I say as calmly as I can. “I know you mean well but I have to do this my way. I have to figure this out in my own head.”

“We have to be careful, Sofia. Hastings won’t turn a blind eye if we do something that draws his attention. He’ll be forced to act.”

“Right, because you all got your revenge. Darius is dead. The Capulets are dead. This city is back to its fully glistening majesty like the riots never happened but me…” I trail off as my anger ebbs and my mind tells me to shut up before I say something that would hurt Roman. “It won’t beus.” I state drawing in one long ragged breath. “It will be me, only me, so you don’t have to worry about the repercussions.”

He tilts his head. “I won’t let you do this alone.”