Page 7 of Queen of the Crimson Throne (Queen of Blood and Stardust #2)

7

LENNOX

I gave myself exactly one minute to wallow before I wiped my tears away and headed toward the bathing chamber.

I splashed my face with cold water, attempting to clear the redness from my face.

Why was it when it came to Luka I had such a hard time controlling my emotions?

I needed—I’m not sure even the Goddess knew what I needed.

I tried my best not to think about Luka over the past weeks. But it was a lot easier said than done. I thought about our last day together over and over again.

The more I let myself stew about it the angrier I became. Not at Luka directly, but at the situation we had been put in.

Even from the beginning, he knew me well enough to decide he shouldn’t share his grandfather’s proposal with me. We could never reverse time, but I had a hard time believing I would be able to trust anything he did knowing the information from the start.

I grew angry at myself because part of me agreed with Luka’s decision. I never would have let myself open myself up to him if he told me his grandfather wanted me to marry him .

Every day I tried to convince myself if I knew that information I wouldn’t have let myself fall for him.

I had yet to convince myself of that.

Everything Luka had admitted through the door?—

I snapped my head up at the sound of a knock on the door. I took a steadying breath before pushing off the sink and walking to the door.

I hoped it was Krissa with my dinner. I didn’t think Luka would try again so soon. I couldn’t handle it if it was him on the other side.

When I opened the door I was met with someone who was most certainly not Krissa or Luka.

Instead, I was met by steely blue eyes and hair the color of the moon.

“Nico.”

The wolf stood half leaning against the doorway in clothing far more casual than I had ever seen him in, carrying a tray of food in one hand and several bottles of wine in the other. “What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He grinned. “I’ve brought you dinner.”

“But you’re not my ladies maid.”

He threw me one of his sly Nico smiles that only curved up one side of his mouth. “Are you sure? Perhaps I took up a new profession while we were apart. Being an emissary can get boring. Thought it was time for a change of pace.” He winked before pushing himself off the door frame.

I shook my head. “I’m serious Nico, what are you doing here?”

“Like I said, I’m bringing you your dinner?”

I let out an irritated sigh. “But why are you bringing me dinner?”

“Because I missed you.” I froze, my entire body stiffened at his words.

“Don’t look so surprised, L. You make a damn good impression. Now are you going to let me in or make me stand in the hallway all night and eat this food alone?” L? Where the fuck did that come from?

I moved aside, allowing him room to move through the doorway before shutting the door behind him.

“C'mon, Lennox. I want to hear all about everything you’ve been up to these past few weeks.”

When I finally turned away from the door I found Nico perched on the couch in the sitting room, filling two glasses with wine before holding one out to me.

He waggled his eyebrows at my hesitation. “I’m not the one who bites, remember?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you doing here, Nico?”

A crease formed between his brows as he took me in. His expression softened.

“You’re my friend and I missed you. I thought this would be a great opportunity to catch up.” His shoulders dropped as he looked at the glasses in his hands. “But if you want me to leave I will.” He placed the glasses on the table and moved to stand.

“No wait, you can stay—it’s—” I let my arms fall to my sides as I searched for the words. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a friend.”

Nico smiled softly. “Well, let me reacquaint you with the practice of friendship, my queen. ” He gestured to the space next to him on the couch. Hesitantly, I sat, taking the glass of wine from his outstretched hand.

“Typically, when friends haven’t seen one another in a while they like to make time to catch up. Usually over wine.”

I took a sip. “I can handle that.”

“So how have you been? What have you been doing to occupy your time besides dreaming of us?”

A sound adjacent to a laugh caught in my throat. “I‘ve been fine. I’ve been keeping busy with my duties as High Queen.”

“I don’t believe you for one second.” He stretched a long arm over the back of the couch. “But if you‘re not ready to divulge whatever secret you’re keeping now that’s fine.” I swallowed. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.

“Why are you here, Nico?”

“I already told you?—”

I set my glass on the table and shifted on the couch so I could face him. “But why? You’re Luka’s best friend. Why are you choosing to come here and talk with me when you’re on his side? Did Luka send you here to spy on me?”

He shook his head. “Is that what you think of me? And of Luka? You know he’d never do such a thing.”

“But do I? How well do I know either one of you?”

“Lennox, there are no sides in this. Despite what you may believe we’re all on the same side here. You and Luka might not be on the best terms, but that doesn’t change our relationship.” He gestured between the two of us with a finger.

Would they truly not pick sides? Nico and Declan? Maybe it was better if there weren’t any sides. I‘m not sure I‘d have anyone on my side anyway, not with how I’d been treating my sister as of late. I would admit, I missed Nico. I missed his light-hearted spirit, his crass jokes, and the way he was able to make me smile so easily.

Nico placed his hand gently on my leg, his dark eyebrows bunching together as he met my gaze. “What is going on with you, Lennox?”

I took in a shaky breath. “I don’t know.” My chest constricted, my breaths coming in shallow pants as my magic pushed against my skin.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here.”

I took a deep breath, willing my magic to settle. “Coming here, seeing Luka, it’s—it’s made me feel confused.” Nico took a sip of wine as he waited for me to continue. I hadn’t talked to anyone about what transpired between me and Luka that last day. Not even Kara, but Nico—he made it so easy to talk to him.

And I needed to talk to someone. I needed to get these incessant thoughts out of my head.

“I came here convinced seeing him wouldn’t change anything between us. That nothing he could say would change things between us…” I came here ready to draw a thick line in the sand. We were to be partners in a business agreement, nothing else. But seeing him and hearing what he had to say—it shouldn’t have changed anything. It doesn’t, but why does it feel like it does?

“I know it’s not my place to speak,” Nico’s voice brought me back from my thoughts, “but I know how much he cares for you. Maybe your feelings have changed, but his haven’t.”

I wiped away a tear that threatened to slip out. “I don’t want to talk about Luka anymore. Let’s talk about something— fun. ” Anything else, I’d rather talk about anything else right now.

A devilish gleam crossed Nico’s face at my words. He raised his glass to mine. “To friends.”

“To friends.” I clinked my glass with his before draining it.

Several hours later, Nico and I found ourselves sprawled across my bed, making shadow puppets on the ceiling using a ball of flame I had created.

What had started as an innocent childhood reminiscing quickly became a dirty game that had us in stitches.

Nico groaned as he rolled on his side to face me. “My head is going to be pounding in the morning, but it will all have been worth it.” He poked me in the side. “I got to spend the night with High Queen Lennox Adair.”

I giggled as I swatted him on the arm. “You wish.”

He propped his head on his hand. “Oh darling, you have no idea. If Luka hadn’t already claimed you as his when I first laid eyes on you I would have tried.” My smile dimmed at the mention of Luka .

“I’m sorry, L. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood by mentioning him.”

“No, it’s okay.” I waved him off, rolling onto my back. “I’m going to have to learn to not flinch every time I hear his name eventually.”

Neither of us said anything as we stared at the ceiling.

“How is he?” I spoke into the silence.

“He’s—he’s okay. He’s doing his best despite the circumstances. He keeps himself busy.”

“Looking for the spellbook?”

Nico tilted his head slightly in my direction. “He told you about that?” I nodded. “That’s all he’s done since he got back. He hardly sleeps. Spends all his time researching and traveling around to talk to anyone who might have a lead.”

I still didn’t know what to make of him trying to get me out of our marriage. I should feel grateful, right? Or relieved. I didn’t know how I felt about it yet, but it sure as fuck wasn’t that.

“I should go,” Nico mumbled as he rolled off the bed. I sat up as he collected his things.

“Nico?”

He turned toward me, “Yeah?”

“Will you tell him?—”

Nico held out a hand. “I’m going to stop you right there. Anything you want to tell him you need to tell him yourself. He deserves to hear directly from you. Not from me.”

He was right. Asking Nico to tell him was the coward’s way out.

“Tell him I need time.” I swallowed. “Can you tell him that much, please?”

“That I can do,” he said softly.

Some of the pressure from my chest lightened.

I stopped him again as his hand twisted on the doorknob. “Nico.”

He raised an eyebrow at me as I stepped into his space before I wrapped my arms around him. He was stiff for a second before he realized what I was doing.

He wrapped his large arms around me and squeezed. “Thanks for tonight,” I spoke into his chest.

“Anytime, L.”