Page 40 of Queen of the Crimson Throne (Queen of Blood and Stardust #2)

40

LUKA

My room was out of liquor.

I don’t know how, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was due to a certain silver haired wolf. Which is how I found myself scouring through the deserted palace kitchen in search of something that would help curve my never ending thoughts.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I turned away Nico and Declan when they arrived at my door earlier tonight. I needed to be alone with my thoughts to sort them all out without anyone else’s opinions first.

I didn’t have many people in my life that cared about me. So the idea my grandfather could be behind such heinous acts… I had talked myself in circles trying to convince myself he had nothing to do with the murder of Lennox’s parents, or the Vanir, or disappearing vampires.

But the evidence was fucking compelling.

It appears like I might know my grandfather even less than I thought.

That was the circle I found myself in hour after hour until I had finally had enough and went in search of a drink, only to find my bar cart in my room empty, sending me on my little search to the kitchen .

Finally, I found a bottle of liquor, stashed in the far top corner of the pantry. The clear liquid had no label and was half empty—surely something the staff kept hidden for times of need.

I took a long swig straight from the bottle, it burned sliding down my throat.

“Fuck.” I winced, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Whatever it was, it was fucking strong. I left the kitchen, taking the bottle with me. I’d replace it another day with something far tastier, but I’d suffer through drinking it tonight. Anything to numb my thoughts.

“Luka?” I stilled at the sound of Lennox’s voice drifting toward me from behind. I looked over my shoulder, she still wore her dress from earlier. The same one I had roamed my hands under in the alcove.

My cock stirred at the memory of my hands digging into her ass and the little sounds that fell from her lips as I pinned her to the wall.

“What have you been up to?” I willed my thoughts to take a much safer path.

She fell into step next to me. “I was on a walk. I needed to clear my thoughts.”

I scoffed. “Your method sounds a lot healthier than mine.” I held up the bottle for her to see.

“But yours is much more fun.” She took the bottle from my hand, bringing it to her lips.

“I wouldn't do that if I was you.”

She rolled her eyes as she brought the bottle to her lips.

“The fuck is this shit?” She coughed, the liquor spitting everywhere.

I couldn’t help myself, I laughed.

“It’s not funny! You asshole.” She slapped her hand against my arm.

“Hey, I warned you. ”

“Not well enough.”

“I can’t help it if you’re not a very good listener.”

“I assumed you were being greedy. Usually everything you drink is good.”

“Everything I drink is good. This isn’t mine. Somehow my bar cart ended up empty. This is all I could find.”

“Well next time you come find me. I’ve still got the good stuff.”

“Noted, Sweetheart,” I told her as we made it to our doors, my hand twisting on the knob as I pushed it open with my shoulder.

“Aren't you coming in?”

Lennox stood in her open doorway, brows raised expectantly. “I said I have the good alcohol.”

I let myself smile slightly. “You know I can’t say no to you.”

I had told myself I would have one drink with Lennox, but here I was, still in her room three drinks later, sitting beside her on the couch in front of the fire as we continued to chat idly. After each drink I told myself I was going to leave.

But then she asked if I wanted another one and I could never get myself to say no.

But now I needed to go.

Lennox sat next to me, her head resting on the back of the couch with her eyes closed.

“I should get going,” I announced. “It’s late and it’s been a long day.”

Lennox opened her eyes. “I suppose you’re right.”

I held out a hand and she took it, allowing me to help her stand. I pulled her to me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, letting my finger linger on her jaw.

“Do you—” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Do you want to stay here tonight—with me? ”

“Do you want me to stay here with you?”

“Yes.” Her eyes fell shut as I let my fingers dance down her neck.

I dropped my hand and took a step back before I let my touch linger any longer.

“I’m going to go get ready for bed, but I’ll be back.” I forced myself to take a step back, keeping my eyes on her until my back hit the door.

Maybe staying was a bad idea—especially after today.

But fuck it. I needed her tonight.

I quickly readied for bed and when I returned to Lennox’s room she was dressed in one of her goddess forsaken nightgowns. This one matched the color of her eyes, it made her skin appear tanner, even in the dead of winter. The silk fabric left little to the imagination. The hem of her nightgown rose to reveal even more of the smooth skin of her perfect, toned thighs as she climbed into bed. If the nightgown had been any shorter I would have gotten a fantastic view of her perfect ass I wanted to sink my teeth into.

I fisted my hand on the dresser, the wood groaning under the pressure as my cock stirred to life in my pants. Staying here with her was a bad fucking idea.

How I’d be able to keep my hands to myself when she was dressed like that—I took a deep breath before I made my way to the bed and crawled in beside her. I laid on my back with my hands fisted at my sides.

“Luka.” I dared to look at her out of the corner of my eye. She was lying on her side, one of her hands propped under her head like a pillow, her golden hair flowing behind her. Her other hand dragged down my bare chest, her fingers tracing the lines of my muscles.

I should have kept my shirt on.

“You’re not going to sleep like that all night are you?”

I opened my mouth and quickly shut it, clamping my jaw shut tight. I wanted to touch her, to pull her to me—or settle in between her thighs and devour her with my mouth until she was screaming my name. My control was thin right now. Too fucking thin . I doubted I’d be able to stop myself if I started. I wanted her too badly.

“I can leave if you want me to. If I’m making you uncomfortable,” she said softly.

Fuck . “No, it’s—” I stammered. “If I let myself touch you, I might not be able to stop.”

Her breathing hitched and her hand stilled on my chest. She shifted, the warmth of her body closing in on me, her lavender scent invading my senses as she rested her head on my chest, nestling into me.

“When I asked you to stay, I didn’t intend on you staying on your side of the bed. If I wanted that I would have let you go back to your room. I want you to hold me, Luka.”

She hitched her leg over mine, wrapping our legs together as her hand roamed up and down my chest.

“Lennox,” I all but growled.

“I promise I’ll behave. Just—hold me. Please.”

I groaned. “Those words are my undoing, you know that right?”

She shrugged against my chest. “I guessed as much.”

I let out a small laugh. I gave in and wrapped my arms around her, my palms running across the thin fabric of her nightgown covering her back.

She wiggled, her leg tightening around mine, she was practically straddling me now.

“Sleep, Lennox,” I grumbled.

“You’re no fun, Bloodsucker.”

Bloodsucker. How long had it been since she’d called me that? Used that teasing nickname?

Too fucking long .

“Bloodsucker, huh? You haven’t used that term of endearment for a long time.” I stroked her hair with my other hand .

“Is that what you think it is? Bloodsucker is a term of endearment?”

“If it’s not, what is it, Sweetheart? ” I placed a kiss on the crown of her head.

“I-I don’t know.” She stammered. “If you don’t like it, I won’t use it again.”

“Well, that’s a first.” Her laugh rumbled against my chest. “No, I like it when you call me Bloodsucker. I missed it.”

“I missed you calling me Sweetheart,” she admitted quietly.

My hand stilled on her back.

“You did?”

She nodded against my chest. “I don’t know why. The nickname infuriated me at first, but somewhere along the line that changed.”

“I’ve always loved it when you called me Bloodsucker,” I admitted. “Made me feel real special.”

I jolted as she poked me in the side.

Her breathing became shallow as we let the silence take over. When I was sure she was asleep, she spoke again.

“Do you remember that night at the tavern, when we played the game and Declan asked me what my biggest regret was and I drank instead of answering?” Of course, I remembered that night. That stupid fucking question. I thought for sure she’d say she regretted me. I tried to prepare myself for the sting her answer would give, even though it never came it hurt just as much.

“I think my biggest regret—my only regret, is ordering you to walk out of the training center that day.” I closed my eyes, unable to stop the shutter that wracked my body at her confession.

“After the attack on Alethens, I used to think back on those days leading up to the attack, after we returned from the Mystic Court. I’d replay those days over and over again and think about what I would do differently. I still do sometimes, but I’ve come to the conclusion there wasn’t much I could have done differently. I did everything I could. But I still remember the look on your face when I told you to leave. It haunts my nightmares. Every time I close my eyes I see the pain and hurt on your face.” Her voice broke.

“I regret asking you to leave. I regret not going after you.” She paused. “I regret not asking you to stay. Every day I wonder how different things might have been if I’d asked you to stay.”

“You still can—ask me to stay,” I said quietly.

“I can’t.” Her voice was pained.

“Why not?”

“I’m afraid of what you might say.” She was quiet for a moment. “Afraid you might say no.” She paused. “Afraid you might say yes.” Her hand flexed on my chest. Time , she still needed more time.

“When you’re ready, ask me again.” She clutched me tighter, closing her eyes as she buried her face into my neck.

“Goodnight Lennox.” I placed a kiss on her forehead.” She was silent for several moments before her voice broke through the silence.

“Goodnight Luka.”