Page 52 of Queen of the Crimson Throne (Queen of Blood and Stardust #2)

52

LENNOX

The entire walk back to the palace I stewed over Astria’s words.

So what if she was a so-called “all-seeing Goddess?” What did she know? She didn’t know what was going on inside my head.

Either way, she had no business giving me advice when she had made such terrible choices in her own love life. She made a rash decision that cost her a lifetime of happiness and created a species of bloodthirsty vampires. Why shouldn’t I take all the time I needed to figure out where I wanted things to go with Luka?

We were getting married. We had the rest of our lives to figure out our relationship. He told me he would wait for me, however long it took.

Astria didn’t know shit.

Stars she was infuriating.

If I ever saw her again?—

“Lennox.”

I looked in the direction of Luka’s voice, finding him walking down the hallway towards me. His smile faltered as he approached, his brows furrowing slightly.

“Are you okay?” He placed his hand gently on my arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine?—”

“Is this about last night?” His shoulders straightened.

“No, Luka…” I wasn’t prepared to run into him again so quickly. I still needed more time to gather my thoughts about what our kiss meant. Our more than kiss.

“What is it?” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear with one hand while the other moved to my waist, drawing me against him. “Lennox, talk to me.”

“It’s nothing, I—I summoned Astria again.” I let the words slip out, there was no use in hiding it from him, it would all come out eventually.

His hand fell from my face. “You did what? By yourself? Why?” He ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m capable of doing things on my own.” I crossed my arms over my chest, putting space between us. “And besides, I had something to discuss that was between me and her.”

“Okay, sorry. I know you’re capable.” He met my gaze again. “Do you want to talk about it? You look upset.”

“No I’m fine, I just need to process everything.”

He swallowed. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I know.” The concern on his face was genuine—it stirred something deep inside me. Something I wasn’t yet ready to confront, especially after my conversation with Astria.

I wrapped my hand around his forearm. Him, I needed him, that’s what I needed right now.

A distraction.

Heat coiled low in my stomach at the thought of what we left unfinished last night.

I leaned forward, pulling him towards me as I pressed my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I waited for him to kiss me back.

After a moment he did. His hands moved to my hips, his fingers digging in slightly as he pulled me against him. I wrapped my fingers in his hair as his tongue found its way into my mouth .

I snaked my hands under his shirt, untucking the fabric from his trousers, allowing my hands to roam over his skin.

“I need you inside me, now,” I murmured against his mouth.

He stopped, his feet staying firm in place as I tried to move him toward my room.

“Lennox, wait a second.” His hands on my waist held me in place.

I gripped his forearms. “What?” I asked impatiently.

He looked at his feet, causing a lock of now disheveled hair to fall across his face.

“Luka, c’mon.” I reached for him again, only for him to pull his hand away and take a step back.

My stomach fell.

“I can’t do this right now,” he said softly.

“Do what?”

“Be your distraction.”

I forced out a laugh, the sound was bitter in my throat. “You’re not a distraction.”

He took another step back, another step away from me.

“Are you sure? Because that’s what this feels like right now.”

“Luka.”

“No, I—I can’t do this right now. Not after last night.” He turned away, raking a hand through his hair.

“Luka wait.” I placed a hand on his arm.

“I’m serious Lennox.” I flinched at the sternness of his voice as he moved out of my reach.

“I’m sorry. I—you can keep feelings separate Lennox, but for me, it’s a lot harder. Last night—last night you let yourself feel. Now you’ve had time to think about it and you shut your feelings off. I know you, Lennox. I can see it in your eyes. I know how your mind works, and how you act. And you might not admit it, but you know me too. And what I need right now is space.”

Every word felt like tiny slices against my skin.

That’s what happens when you let people see you .

They see past your defenses.

I let go of Luka’s arm. He didn’t look back as he walked away.

Maybe Astria was right, maybe I had less time to sort things out with Luka than I thought.