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Matt should have slept with Maddie a long time ago.

He thought of all the things they could have done over the last year.

All this time, they had just sat next to each other on the couch watching Gilmore Girls, when they could have been having hot sex while Gilmore Girls played in the background.

He didn’t understand how he had ever kept his hands off Maddie.

When he finally returned from the away games on Saturday night, he had her undressed and moaning under him on the couch in eighty seconds.

He finally knew why he had bought such a big one — so he and Maddie wouldn’t fall when she pushed him aside to climb on top.

So that she could use the wide backrest for support as she moved on top of him and murmured, “I missed you.” So that they had enough room for him to sit up with her and kiss her more deeply while he continued thrusting into her, which was an inevitable consequence of her words. He was addicted to her.

The last time he couldn’t get enough of something was the first time he’d stepped onto the ice and was handed a hockey stick.

Maddie, however, was almost better than hockey — he always won with her.

When she came on his lap with a whimper, biting his shoulder, he followed not a second later, his chest so full and warm that he couldn’t breathe for several seconds.

He was in love with his best friend and he was an idiot for needing a whole year to realize it.

The realization hadn’t arrived overnight.

He hadn’t had a moment of complete clarity.

Instead, he had somehow always…known. He had just never given the feeling a name.

To say that his emotions were terrifying him was an understatement.

He was downright panicking. His fear of losing Maddie was all-encompassing.

He had only made a handful of friends throughout his life and had lost them all.

So many people had entered his life and then disappeared.

Eventually, it had become normal. He had never had a serious relationship; every affair had dried up at some point.

The fact that everything had to end was as clear to him as the fact that Dax deserved a smack on the back of the head with a hockey stick every now and then.

Maddie, however, was different. She had to be different, because neither his head nor his heart could afford to lose her.

She was his constant, his non-hockey constant.

He needed her and he couldn’t screw this up.

These sentences were a mantra that he repeated over and over in his mind.

It dampened the panic that was constantly swirling in his stomach.

He only forgot about the feeling when he was with Maddie.

Then, it became irrelevant. In each of these moments, he knew that for the rest of his life, he would take any scraps that Maddie offered him.

And right now, she was offering him everything : Body, mind, smile. He was one lucky idiot.

“You know…” she whispered, breathing heavily in his ear and kissing the spot just behind it as they both caught their breath.

“...I always used to think that the perfect evening was me and a tequila sunrise on the couch. My phone is off, Pad Thai on the table, and I’m watching some romantic movie that makes me happy.

But I was wrong. This is the perfect evening. ”

He smiled broadly and ran his fingertips down her bare back. Gliding over every single vertebra and enjoying the goosebumps that came with it. “An orgasm was never part of your perfect evening? That’s incredibly careless of you.”

She laughed. Matt would never get tired of her laughter. It was like sunshine. You’d think there was enough of that in California already, but no.

“I know, right?” she whispered. “That’s because it had been such a long time since my last non-electronic orgasm.”

“Such a shame,” he replied, feigning seriousness, although not actually feigning.

Maddie was far too enthusiastic about sex to consciously abstain from it.

“You know, if you’d told me earlier that there was a penis-sized gap in your life, I would have certainly made myself available as a generous donor months ago. ”

Her laughter grew louder. “Seriously, a penis-sized gap? What does that make you? An orgasm donor or a love donor? If we’re going traditional.”

He frowned. “I don’t like either. How about happiness donor? Because my skills go way beyond those of a groundbreaking orgasm.”

She snorted in amusement. “You like that nickname better than Charming ? But fine. I’m happy to mention it in my next interview for ESPN. If it makes you happy…”

He cupped her face, brushed her hair back from her forehead, and narrowed his eyes. “That will remain an empty threat, because you know I’d just tell them you sleep with your clients.”

She shrugged. “Well, I’m sure a lot of men would sign up with us! It wouldn’t be so bad,” she replied lightly. “And God, I need a drink. Life with you is so much more athletic than I’m used to.”

She slowly climbed off him and he immediately missed her weight, her skin against his.

Yes. He was addicted. Probably in an unhealthy way.

He chuckled softly. “It’s just more sex. I’m not forcing you to run a marathon with me.”

“Hello? Sex is exhausting for people without muscles, Matt,” she reminded him seriously as she rose. “Would you like something to drink? But I’m going to the bathroom first.”

He nodded gratefully as she disappeared in the direction of the bathroom, and leaned back on the pillows, breathing heavily.

Maddie was right. This was the perfect evening, even if both Lucy and his sister Nell, as well as Dax, had texted an hour ago, inquiring about what exactly was going on between him and Maddie.

Nell had been hopeful. Lucy had been insistent.

Dax had simply written: What’s wrong with you?

Matt had taken the liberty of ignoring them all.

As if he had conjured up another message with his thoughts alone, a cell phone vibrated. It wasn’t his; Maddie’s phone lit up on the living room table. His gaze automatically wandered to the text message that popped up and although he honestly didn’t want to read it…

Hey, how are you? You haven’t RSVP’d for the wedding yet. Are you coming?

xx Clemens

Matt narrowed his eyes and leaned forward further while something bitter and unpleasant flooded his previously warm chest.

xx Clemens .

Did people still write kisses in an X shape? Hadn’t that been abolished along with bell-bottoms? And why was Clemens contacting her at all? Maddie had said that things with her ex-boyfriend had ended badly. So, why the hell was she still be in contact with him?

“Oh, can we order food now? I’m starving,” Maddie asked, interrupting his thoughts as she emerged from the bathroom and hurried into the kitchen.

Unfortunately, she was no longer completely naked.

Instead, she was wearing one of his shirts that reached down to her thighs.

He would have to persuade her to wear exclusively his jersey or nothing at all. Anything else didn’t seem right to him.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, his eyes still fixed on the message. “Thai?”

“Always. But if you put Babybel in your curry again, I might have to kill you. In the name of all Thai people and food lovers.”

He felt a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He leaned back again. It didn’t matter. Clemens was some guy from her past. She could be in contact with him. It didn’t bother him.

Another message came in, though.

We can also talk on the phone again. I’d like to know how you’re doing. Sunday evening maybe xx

His jaw cracked loudly and his back flexed so hard that he wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled a muscle.

Okay, fuck, it bothered him that the two of them were obviously talking on the phone regularly.

“Are you okay?” Maddie asked, placing two glasses of water next to the telltale cell phone.

“Sure,” he uttered.

“Are you sure?” she frowned. “You growled.”

He took the glass of water she handed him and sipped it before doing what he always did when he was with Maddie: He was honest. It was surprisingly easy to tell the truth when you were with someone who had never made you feel bad, with whom you had always been open on principle because, in friendships, you could say everything you might keep to yourself in relationships.

“Okay, I have to confess something. My peripheral vision is so good that I accidentally read two messages on your phone from…”

He didn’t get a chance to finish because Maddie was reaching for her phone and staring at the screen. She blinked at Clemens’ words for a few seconds and then let out a satisfying, disdainful snort. “He’s not serious. Did he seriously expect me to RSVP?”

“It seems so,” Matt said innocently. She didn’t seem happy about it, which he took that as a good sign.

“He’s actually a nice guy on the surface, but kind of a jerk deep down,” she said hesitantly, glancing skeptically at Matt. “And those messages were the reason you were growling?”

He grimaced. “My throat was sore.”

She laughed. “You’re sweet when you’re jealous,” she whispered and kissed him gently on the cheek. “It was ages ago. But if it makes you feel better…”

I can’t make it. Not on your wedding day or Sunday evening.

I’m at a hockey game on both days. All the luck in the world to you , she hastily typed on her phone and hit send, then waved the screen in Matt’s face.

“There. See? Done,” she said and smiled broadly.

“Because hockey is more important than he is.”

Matt’s mouth twitched. Okay, it was sweet of her to put it that way, but…it didn’t feel like it was over. Quite the opposite. He felt like he’d cracked open the lid of a huge barrel containing some floating smelly stuff.

Honesty. They worked because of their honesty.