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“No, because I didn’t want to argue,” she replied, exhausted. “But…sometimes you have to argue. To get what you want. So, from now on, you’re going to go shopping for yourself, Dad. And you’re going to meet up with Lucy and me once a month. Outside the house.” They had to start somewhere.

Her father sighed heavily. “Okay. I can go shopping. But the other thing…”

“No. I don’t want to hear any more backtalk and excuses,” she said loudly, even though her eyes were burning and her chest was tightening. Even though her tongue was growing thick. “I’ve had enough, Dad. Our family has been broken for long enough and that won’t change if we don’t all try harder.”

“Madison, honey, we’re not…”

“Yes, we are,” she contradicted softly. “Besides, I don’t want to hear it.

This Sunday is a Hawks home game and we’re going.

All of us together. Like we used to. Because we don’t have to be broken.

Yes, we’re missing a part of ourselves and that hurts!

But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be a complete puzzle without that missing piece.

So, next Sunday, I’ll be at your door at six.

You’ll be showered and dressed, and looking forward to it. Do we understand each other?”

It was quiet for a few endless seconds. Then he said a word that she hadn’t heard from him in years. “Okay.”

A lump fought its way into her throat and her voice was hoarse as she continued.

“Good. That’s…good.” She wanted to tell him that he should start therapy again, that he should go for more walks, but that would be too much for today.

One step at a time. “Dad. We miss you, you know? We miss Mom and we miss you. The only difference is that you’re still here. So…you’d better freaking be there.”

Then, she hung up.

Panic-stricken, her heart pounded in her chest. Had she just said all that?

Was she seeking confrontation? Oh, she felt sick.

At the same time, a smile broke out on her face.

It had helped! Matt was right. Sometimes things had to get ugly before they could get better.

Adrenaline was still pumping through her veins… and she wasn’t done yet!

Her hands were shaking, but she didn’t want to stop this trend of telling people what she really thought. She was no longer afraid of starting arguments. What if she lost her courage tomorrow, though?

So she dialed the number of the one person she wished would call more often. The person who had no idea what was going on in Los Angeles, but should.

“Dr. Rachel James,” her sister answered after the third ring. She sounded as unemotional and objective as Connor Stone. Honestly, Maddie had never heard her sister raise her voice…and she wondered if today would be the first time.

“Hey, Rachel, it’s me, Maddie,” she answered, squaring her shoulders.

“Maddie,” Rachel replied, surprised – maybe alarmed. “Is everything okay? Are Dad and Lucy okay?”

Maddie closed her eyes and sighed heavily. Apparently, it had gotten to the point where her oldest sister only expected a call from her if a family member had had an accident.

“They’re okay,” she said vaguely, laughing tonelessly. “No, you know what? Lucy’s fine, Dad, however, is still bad. As you know. That’s why I’ve decided…you need to come home for Christmas.”

Silence followed. “What?” her sister merely stated.

Maddie cleared her throat. “I know you canceled, but I’m not about to accept that, Rachel. We haven’t seen you in two years. We miss you. Dad is holed up and you’re not here to help him — and you’re the damn psychologist! So, pull yourself together, hop on a plane, and get your butt out here.”

Silence again. Finally and quietly, she responded, “You’re right.”

Maddie blinked, perplexed. “I am?”

“Yes. I…” A heavy sigh. “I shouldn’t be running away anymore. I’ll be there for Christmas. I might move back this coming spring, anyway.”

Maddie’s mouth fell open. “What do you mean?”

“I…a few things have changed for me recently and I’ve been thinking about starting over. With you. If that’s okay.”

“What’s changed?” she asked, confused. It was the first time she was hearing it. “You can come anytime, you know that.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She swallowed again. “Maddie,” she whispered in a thin voice. “I’m sorry. That it hit you so hard. I’m the oldest and I should have taken responsibility back when Mom died, but…” She broke off.

“It hit you even harder than it hit us,” Maddie whispered. “We know that. You were a total mama’s girl. You two had a special relationship.”

“Yes. We…” She sounded exhausted. “It doesn’t matter. We can talk about it at Christmas.”

Maddie frowned and her heart sank. She honestly didn’t know anything about Rachel’s life, did she? “Is everything okay, Rach? Are you okay?” she inquired softly.

“I’ve been better,” she replied tonelessly. “But thanks for calling. I think it might do me good to see you again. I’ve missed you, too.”

Maddie’s throat tightened. In her head, Rachel was unbreakable – proud, smart, and successful, not exhausted or sad. “Hey, if you need cheering up, I just found out that it’s fun to yell at the arrogant divorce lawyer down the street. Maybe that would be something for you, too.”

Rachel laughed her bell-like laugh that always reminded Maddie of her mother. “What did he do to incur your wrath? You’re known for avoiding arguments, after all.”

The corners of her mouth twitched. Maybe her sister knew her better than she let on. “Oh, he just insulted your questionnaire and compared it to astrology.”

Rachel gasped in outrage. “He didn’t!”

“Yes. And he said dating agencies work as well as rain dances !”

“What an asshole.”

She laughed. “You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t have to. People who don’t believe in psychology and therapy always need both the most! His statements point to a psychological disorder that I would love to investigate.”

Maddie grinned. “Please tell him exactly that. As long as I’m right there to hear it.”

“Deal. Anything else new?”

“Well...” Her cheeks glowed and she suddenly felt the need to share something from her life, something that made her feel close to Rachel again. More like family. “...I have a boyfriend now,” she finally murmured.

“Really?” Rachel asked, surprised. “Oh, I’m so happy! It’s the first one since Clemens the Clown, right?”

She grinned. “Yes.”

“Who is it?”

“A…hockey player.”

“Oh no, you too?”

She laughed. “It turns out that hockey players are pretty cool guys.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. But okay. I have to go now. Thanks again…for the kick in the ass.”

“Anytime,” she replied softly. “Then, til Christmas?”

“Christmas it is,” Rachel replied warmly and hung up.

A relaxed smile spread across Maddie’s face and she lowered the phone — but only so she could type better.

I yelled at my dad. And I told my sister to get her ass over here .

Matt’s response promptly followed.

Badass. I’m proud of you .

She smiled and wrote back: My knees are knocking and I feel like I’m going to faint at any moment. I almost think it’s good to argue sometimes.

True. Unless it’s about my dirty laundry .

She laughed and her heart filled with warmth and apparently helium, too, because it became incredibly light.

She was happy, happier than she had been in ages. She felt braver than usual, more alive than usual. Wiser than usual.

God, she really should have slept with Matt a lot sooner.