Page 19 of Pucking Your Best Friend (L.A. Hawks Hockey #2)

He couldn’t calm down because, damn, her look had made him hard. Just her look . That was the thought that was still swirling around his mind an hour later.

Thank God it was damn chilly in the Ice Lounge!

The older owner, Carl, had been adamant about making it the theme.

That meant his counter looked like a high half-wall of ice blocks stacked on top of each other, the bar was mostly filled with dry-ice vapor, and he kept the air conditioning on full blast so that ice hockey players felt comfortable.

They had assured him several times that the Hawks also hung out outside the ice rink and that they liked lying on the beach just as much as they liked carving the ice. Carl had decided on a theme, though, and he was stubbornly sticking to it.

Unfortunately, it also meant that his beer coasters all had the faces of Hawks players on them, so Matt was currently flipping a picture of Dax over in his fingers while he went over the recent conversation with Maddie.

He tried to recall every look she’d given him. Was she acting differently? He groaned inwardly. It didn’t matter anyway! What the hell was he expecting?

“What’s wrong, Matt?”

He blinked and glanced up. Their defender, Leon Alvarez, was sitting next to him, eyeing him.

“Have you lost your voice, Arielle?” he asked mockingly. “You haven’t said a word tonight, even though the conversation is happening tonight.” He pointed to the rest of the group, which consisted of Jack, team captain Fox, and their goalie Lucas Moreau. Matt noticed they were all staring at him.

He snapped out of his trance. “No. Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, fighting chickens is exhausting,” Jack muttered, smiling into his non-alcoholic beer.

“Ah, that’s all.” Leon appeared relieved. “I thought you were taking on Moreau as your new role model.”

Their rather quiet goalie, who had the charisma of a serial killer in custody, gave him a dark look that made Leon wince.

“Sorry,” he replied hastily. “I think it’s cool you’re so quiet. A really great quality!”

Moreau snorted loudly and Leon hunched over and added noticeably louder, “Have you heard that Darron Clark is retiring soon and wants to leave the team to his son?”

“No,” Fox disagreed, frowning. “I heard his daughter is going to get the team.”

“He has a daughter?” Jack replied, furrowing his brow. “I’ve only heard about the son.”

“Yeah, the daughter isn’t media-savvy. There were a few scandals surrounding her, so she left the country, and since then there’s been radio silence.” Fox shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t care who takes over,” Leon said, “I just tell the press I’m too scared of our PR woman to speak out.”

“That’s the first sensible thing I’ve ever heard you say, Leon,” a female voice said, impressed. Lucy and Dax had appeared behind him. “Maybe you’re slowly outgrowing yourself.”

Leon grinned. “I don’t have to grow more. Everything is already disproportionately large.”

Groaning, Lucy buried her head in her hands while the other players merely sighed. Leon would never learn to be sensible.

“Is there any truth to it, Lucy?” Jack asked, frowning. “Is old Clark really handing over the hockey scepter?”

“No comment,” she stated matter-of-factly and dropped into the last seat in the alcove, while Dax sat next to Matt.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “You can tell us. And if not us, then me!”

“I won’t fuel rumors,” she said, shaking her head. “You should concentrate on playing hockey.”

Leon immediately started complaining that ice hockey players didn’t have enough rights and that they were discriminated against. Lucy replied, piqued, that they were, after all, property of the club — to which almost everyone had something to say or shout about.

At least they weren’t talking about chickens anymore, giving Matt another chance to think about things. Then Dax elbowed him.

“What’s wrong? You’re unusually quiet.”

Matt snorted loudly. Did he usually talk too much, or what? “It’s nothing. Just thinking.”

Dax frowned. “About what? You’re playing solidly these days.”

He almost started laughing. Yep, even though Dax was in a relationship, the idea of thinking about something other than his game was still new territory for him.

“I know I’m playing consistently. It concerns other things.

” He cleared his throat. “Say, do you want to go out for a drink or dinner sometime next week?”

They couldn’t really talk here, not without being overheard by dozens of hockey players, fans, or Lucy.

Dax frowned. “I’d love to, but my schedule is incredibly tight.

We only have two game-free nights in the next few weeks when we’re here in LA, and one is reserved for Lucy and the other…

Well, my sister really wants Jack and me to spend more time together with her.

You know...” He hesitated, then added with a sigh and in a lowered voice, “as a family. We’re supposed to keep it a secret because no one can know. ”

Matt nodded absently and rubbed his tense jaw. He understood. No one except Maddie, Lucy, and him knew that he and Jack were brothers. The siblings had to get reacquainted. And, naturally, Dax also had Lucy.

That was all understandable and completely okay.

Still, Matt’s heart sank. Who else was he going to confide in about Maddie?

He was friends with the rest of the team, too, and the most likely person to talk to was Fox, who was ridiculously understanding about everything. It’s just that he usually talked about personal shit like that with Dax! He had always been able to rely on that. But since he was in a relationship…

“Okay,” he replied tersely. Dax could do whatever he wanted! Maybe they’d find time to talk another time.

“Oh, by the way,” Dax said, taking a Coke from one of the waiters. “I know we joked about this the other day, but you and Maddie are only friends, right?” He narrowed his eyes and looked at him thoughtfully. No, there was also a hint of warning in his expression.

Wait, warning ?

“Yes. Maddie and I are only friends,” he replied mechanically because, suddenly, he had the feeling that was the only correct answer.

“Are you certain?”

Nope. “Yes.”

“Hm.” Dax was still studying him. “I have the feeling you’re lying.

Lucy thinks so too, because you both looked a little strange during the TV interview.

” He cleared his throat. “You’re living together now and she wants me to remind you that Maddie is searching for something serious, for eternity — so you’re not her type. ”

Matt cracked his jaw and raised an eyebrow.

“Do I have to lecture you about it?” Dax continued. “Just so you don’t forget if she walks naked through your living room?”

Matt folded his arms behind his head and slowly leaned back.

He knew Lucy was Dax’s first relationship.

His buddy had never been in love until Lucy came along.

He had no practice juggling relationships and friendships.

And, hell, right now Matt was slightly annoyed that his friend seemed to have been swallowed up by her.

Since when did he start taking Lucy’s side and not his?

Why didn’t he ask how things were going with Maddie or how he felt about living with her instead of directly accusing him of harboring dishonorable intentions?

He and Dax had been best friends since their damn rookie days.

In fact, they probably wouldn’t have survived the early days without each other.

Maybe Matt had relied too much on having someone on his side in recent years.

Someone who understood him even off the ice.

But it pissed him off that Dax had hardly spoken to him for weeks and felt like he now had to lecture him.

“I don’t need a lecture, I need someone to talk to,” he said abruptly and rose. “There’s a difference.”

He didn’t feel like arguing or explaining himself. He headed toward the bar, away from the looks of the others, who, naturally, raised their eyebrows, even if they – with any luck – hadn’t understood his exact words.

Naturally, Dax followed him. “What’s going on?” he asked, completely perplexed.

Matt pressed his lips together and took a deep breath.

“Dax, I am in total chaos at the moment — but you don’t know that, do you?

First, you’re never around, second, you don’t seem to be the right person to talk to when it comes to my current life, and, third, you’re not truly on my side at the moment, are you? ”

Speechless, Dax stared at him. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m always here and on your side.”

“No, you are always with Lucy and currently only on her side! At least when it matters.”

Dax’s mouth gaped. “What the hell is going on with you? Are you seriously blaming me for your unhappiness?”

Matt narrowed his eyes and sighed heavily.

He was an asshole, wasn’t he? “No. I don’t want to.

I’m happy for you, man, okay? But, you are…

not truly present right now. And it’s okay that you spend more time with Lucy, but honestly, just because you’ve been in a relationship for two seconds doesn’t mean you are an expert.

And just because I gave you a lecture about Lucy doesn’t mean you have the same right when it comes to Maddie.

Because, honestly, you don’t know anything about us! ”

“I…what?”

Yeah, he didn’t understand. How could he, when they hadn’t had a chance to talk in the last few weeks? “It doesn’t matter, Dax,” he muttered wearily. “Let me know when you have a free slot in your busy schedule. I’m going home. I don’t feel like company.”

He turned abruptly and pushed toward the exit.

He ignored the fans and groupies who grabbed his arm, trying to encourage him to stop and chat.

Man, he was tense. He hadn’t realized how much he had relied on Dax over the last few years.

What would it be like when Maddie found someone and was swallowed up by a relationship like Dax?

“Fuck,” he muttered, rubbing his face when the fresh air finally hit him.

There was too much change. Too much movement.

That was how it had always started. His father had announced that they were moving again and his teammates had assured him that they would keep in touch.

It was hard to keep in touch when everyone had better things to do, though.

And he had always understood that, but it still sucked.

“Are you okay?”

He turned abruptly to see Jack exiting the bar.

“Yup,” he replied curtly.

The center nodded slowly and then said, “You know we only made the chicken jokes to piss you off, right?”

Matt chuckled reluctantly. “It’s not about the chicken jokes.”

“Then what is it about? You know I think it’s pretty cool of you to help Maddie out. You seriously have nothing to be ashamed of regarding that whole TV segment.”

“I’m not ashamed of anything, Jack,” he said matter-of-factly. “Pretty much never. I think being embarrassed is a waste of time. That’s one of my best qualities, in case you didn’t know that already. Your brother is just pissing me off right now, that’s all.”

Jack grinned. “Yeah, that was obvious. Trust me.”

Matt snorted. “Fine.”

“You may not realize it, but when it comes to being angry at Dax, I’m the best person to talk to.”

Matt rubbed his eyes with a sigh and gave him a quick sideways glance. “I get it, but I don’t feel like talking.”

“Ah, okay.” Jack nodded, folded his arms across his chest, and leaned against the wall next to the entrance of the Ice Lounge.

“You know if you were a woman, people would say you just made a scene. In your case, they just say you’re in a bad mood.

Both are bullshit. Women don’t make scenes.

Men aren’t just in a bad mood. We all do the same thing: We express our feelings.

I don’t see anything wrong with that. If I hadn’t expressed mine, Dax still wouldn’t be talking to me.

He’d still be pretending I didn’t exist.”

Matt smiled weakly. “He still acts like that, Jack.”

“No. He says hello. He passes the puck to me with a smile on his face. He told you, Lucy, and Maddie about me. He doesn’t hate me anymore. This is a huge step for him. Dax is…slower than everyone else when it comes to most emotional things.”

“You don’t say.” He snorted. “You know, I’m happy for him and Lucy. Truly. I want the bastard to be happy, but…”

“He’s not good at multi-tasking,” Jack said innocently.

“Yes!”

“You know, you can be happy for Dax and still be mad at him.”

“Yeah. But it makes me feel like an asshole.”

“Why?”

“Because I should only be happy for him! Not angry with him for not having time for me anymore. Like I’m a damn kid whose mother goes back to work.” He laughed dryly at himself.

“Is that what you told him?”

“Something like that,” he replied gruffly. “But I don't want to rain on his parade.”

Jack narrowed his eyes. “Can I give you some advice, Matt? Relationships change. All the time. No matter who it is. Dax and I are the best example of that. So, whatever happens between you and my brother — or between you and Maddie…”

Matt opened his mouth, perplexed. “Between us…”

“I don’t want to know,” Jack interrupted, shushing him.

“But Dax doesn’t exactly speak softly and her name came up.

What I’m saying is, don’t keep your mouth shut and do nothing.

When something is off, the other person has usually already noticed.

And, sometimes unspoken words can destroy a lot more than spoken ones.

It’s not good to put things on ice or ignore them for too long. They get harder every damn day.”

Jack raised his eyebrows meaningfully as his cell phone rang. Sighing, he pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the screen, a deep line forming between his eyebrows.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Speak of the devil. Just don’t screw it up, Matt.” He waved his phone and then slowly disappeared around the corner.

Matt stared after him.

Just don’t screw it up . That was easier said than done. Most of the time you only realize you’d screwed something up when it was already too late.