Page 27

“Oh, yes, I do. I need to meet this legendary creature you’ve been talking about for a year,” he replied seriously as he placed two plates, bread, mustard, lettuce, and cheese on the counter. “So, go ahead while I make dinner.”

Her cheeks were probably deep pink again, but what the heck, he was asking! “Well, if you must know, my dream man doesn’t force me to send back my salad because he knows how uncomfortable it makes me!”

“Ah, so you want a man who doesn’t challenge you. I see.”

She ignored that. Sighing, she walked over to him and leaned against the kitchen island.

“My dream man asks me how my day was and really listens. My dream man helps around the house without me having to ask. My dream man loves my family even if they’re hard to love at times.

He’s intelligent but has no problem with someone else being more intelligent.

He is generous and warm, and willing to open up.

And, the perfect man knows when I’m feeling bad even if I don’t show it.

He calls because he happens to be thinking about me.

He supports me in my pursuits and my work but also gives me space when I need it. ”

Had she forgotten something? She believed she had, but Matt’s expression distracted her. His eyebrows were drawn together so that they formed a straight line and his lips were pressed together skeptically. He looked a little like a child who had been given an impossible math problem.

“I don’t understand,” he finally replied slowly, handing her one of the sandwiches he had made—with lots of cheese, naturally, even if it wasn’t Babybel. “If there are no outward signs that you’re not feeling well, how is this guy supposed to know?”

“He just does.”

“But how ? Reads it in your eyes?”

“For example.”

Frowning, he looked deep into them. “Don’t get me wrong, Maddie, your eyes are very pretty, but they’ve never screamed, I feel terrible even though I’m pretending to be fine . Expecting someone to be able to read your emotions is stupid.”

She scowled at him darkly. “No, it’s not. Anyway, he’s a dream man.”

“The emphasis is on dream because he’s not real,” Matt said with his mouth full.

“So, you seriously want your boyfriend to be able to read minds? I imagine that would be incredibly uncomfortable. I would hate it if my girlfriend read my mind. What would we talk about then? And what if my intense sexual imagination scared her?”

Maddie had to laugh. “That’s a good point. But it’s important that he’s sensitive.” She nodded firmly and took a bite of her sandwich. You could say what you wanted about Matt’s cooking, but the man could make a sandwich!

“I believe everyone is responsible for their own emotions. If you want someone to know how you feel, you have to damn well tell them! To make it easier for the other person.”

She paused and swallowed. The familiar heat that she’d been feeling lately whenever Matt looked at her for too long tingled in her stomach. “Like…how you told me how you felt a few days ago?”

She saw his jaw twitch before he replied harshly, “Just like that.”

“And you think that made it easier for me?” she whispered, lowering the sandwich as her fluttering stomach clenched.

“You seriously believe that since you confessed, I’m less worried about what you feel and want, and what you’re thinking about?

That I’m no longer driving myself crazy?

Even though that is what you wanted to prevent? ”

She saw him swallow. How his Adam’s apple rose and fell. How he licked his dry lips. How he hesitated before he murmured, “At least you didn’t have to read it in my eyes.”

No. But she noticed he had read it in hers, that she felt the same way. Otherwise, he would never have brought it up. She lowered her gaze and nodded.

“What about appearances?”

She blinked in confusion. “What?”

“What does your dream man look like?”

Oh, right. Her dream man. They’d been talking about her dream man. “I don’t care. Looks are secondary,” she mumbled, taking a bite of the sandwich even though she was no longer hungry.

“And, what about…sex?”

She choked, coughing up a piece of bread that landed on the counter. “What?” she croaked.

“Sex,” he repeated soberly, still looking at her, his eyes locking with hers with his hands propped on the kitchen island and his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows so that she could see his sinewy forearms.

He seemed so calm and composed, while her heart was beating at triple speed.

“Um…well, ideally, he should want to have it with me,” she replied softly.

Matt chuckled softly and the warm, dark tones gave Maddie goosebumps. “ Ideally, he should want to have it with me ,” he repeated.

“I’ve been able to live without it for a long time and still be happy, Matt,” she whispered. “So, sex is not a priority in a relationship.”

He nodded slowly. “If that’s what you believe, then we are in a relationship.”

She wrapped her fingers around the kitchen counter. “We are,” she confirmed quietly, and then added hesitantly, “Just not a sexual one.”

“Right. Not a sexual one,” he repeated as if he had to remind himself. As if he had to remind them both.

And, right then, it felt like they both needed a reminder.

Maddie’s neck was tingling. Her heart was pounding. And the heat in her stomach wasn't from the mustard on the sandwich.

“Don’t you miss it?” Matt asked, stepping around the kitchen island.

He took only one slow step, but to Maddie, it seemed as if he was sprinting toward her.

“Sex and everything that comes with it? The long, drawn-out kisses? The warmth of each other’s skin?

Touches that grow more intimate and greedy with each second?

The anticipation that consumes you and becomes increasingly urgent until you can’t think of anything else but fulfilling it?

Don’t you miss being able to touch someone?

To be able to explore as much as you want without anyone stopping you?

Until you are part of each other for a moment. ”

Matt was still looking at her, his pupils larger than before. He was allowing her to read his gaze.

She swallowed. How did he manage to turn her on without laying a finger on her? How could he trigger so many images with words alone?

She was unable to tear her eyes from him. Unable to control her breathing, which grew increasingly shallower and shallower. Unable to stop the blush that was surely creeping up her neck.

Her mouth went dry and one hand was still gripping the counter when she whispered, “I do…miss sex.”

She saw Matt tense his forearms. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I miss it. A lot.” It was the truth.

Right now, in fact, she couldn’t think of anything else.

“I miss feeling wanted. I miss…that I didn’t have to do it myself.

” She swallowed, surprised by her words.

“I miss the touches and everything that follows. And…” She bit her lip and inhaled deeply, knowing she was going too far and that they might not recover from these words.

She couldn’t do anything otherwise, though.

Her abdomen continued to tighten pleasantly with every passing moment—there was so much desire, so much heat, so much she wanted.

And, why shouldn’t she take it? If only for today.

And, if she chose to have a one-night stand, then let it be with Matt!

She trusted him. And, God, she wanted him right now.

“And?” he asked roughly.

“And…” she repeated and swallowed. “And, for weeks, I haven’t been able to think of anything but those handcuffs by your bed. And the fact that I want you to chain me to your damn headboard and do everything you said you would do a few days ago.”

Matt fell silent. His words, his posture, everything stopped short. Even time stopped.

“I guess you’re right,” he murmured, his hands clenched as if he was finding it difficult to control himself. “It doesn’t necessarily make it easier when you’re honest and tell the other person how you feel."

She laughed tensely. “No. Not really.”

Matt took a shuddering breath before muttering, “Maddie, what about finding Prince Charming?”

“I can look for him tomorrow.”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “If we do this, it’ll only be when we both understand…”

“That it’s a one-time thing, of course.” She swallowed. “We’re just both turned on and…helping each other.”

“Right. Because our friendship…”

“…is more important. Will always be more important,” she replied seriously.

Because she knew he’d been afraid of that ever since he’d talked to her about Dax.

“Someone will only get hurt unless we both understand what exactly this is about. But, we do. All I’m doing is saying ‘yes’ to something that’s just for me.

You suggested that yourself. And…once won’t do any harm. ”

He laughed hoarsely. “Are you serious?”

She nodded.

“Once?”

“Once.”

“Good,” he whispered—before pressing her against the kitchen island and lowering his mouth to hers.