Page 40 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)

forty

“This house is gorgeous!” Kamryn’s jaw dropped as Elia opened the door to her mother’s home.

She hadn’t expected this kind of reaction, but it was so nice to see at the same time. Elia stepped outside into the lightly falling snow and wrapped her arms around Kamryn’s shoulders before kissing her. “I’m glad you got here safe.”

“Uh-huh. Seriously, Elia, this house is amazing.”

It was a small cottage-style house in Western Massachusetts. Elia had grown up there, and her mom still lived there. Though she had thought about moving after Elia’s dad passed away ten years ago.

“Come on.” Elia took Kamryn’s hand and led her into the house. She pulled Kamryn into the kitchen where her mother sat at the dining room table with Abagail. “Mom, this is Kam. Kam, this is my mom, Janet.”

“It’s good to meet you.” Kamryn held her hand out and shook Janet’s.

Elia kept her hand locked in Kamryn’s. It’d only been two days since they’d seen each other, but it felt far longer. Elia had been spending most of her free time with Kamryn, and since they were still co-leading the Speech team and it was the height of the season, they were rarely apart aside from the eight hours in the middle of the day when they were at work.

“Nice to see you again,” Kamryn said to Abagail, nodding at her.

Abagail flicked her gaze down from Elia’s face to her joined hands with Kamryn and hardened. She’d been acting so odd lately, ever since the drama at the school had mostly resolved and since Elia hadn’t followed her plan to a T. It was strange. Elia couldn’t remember a time when they were at odds as much as they were lately.

Still, she was glad that Abagail had come for Thanksgiving. It was tradition after all, ever since Elia and Abagail had graduated college and Abagail had scorned most of her own family. She still had close contact with them, but she wasn’t very familiar with them. Janet had become the second mom that Abagail always wanted. At least, that’s what Abagail had said.

Elia pulled Kamryn a smidge closer. “I’m going to show Kamryn upstairs. I’ll be back down to help in a minute.”

It didn’t take her long to get Kamryn settled into the room that they were going to share. And by the time they were done eating the festive Thanksgiving, Kamryn stayed in the kitchen to help clean up while Elia settled onto the sofa with a glass of wine, Abagail still giving her an odd look.

“I was hoping for a minute to talk to you alone,” Abagail said, sliding onto the sofa next to Elia. “I didn’t want to say this in front of Mom or Kam.”

“Go for it.” Elia sipped her wine and relaxed. She could tell that something was bothering Abagail all evening, so now it was finally time to have it out. This would be a good thing.

“I don’t think you and Kam should be in a relationship together, and it’s not because I think she’s too young or not right for you or this is an HR nightmare. I’ve already told you all of that.”

“You have,” Elia agreed, trying to figure out where this was heading.

“It’s not even because I don’t like her. I do like her.” Abagail twisted her wine glass between her fingers, not even looking up at Elia. “I just like you more.”

Elia laughed lightly. “We’ve been friends for decades. Of course you like me more.”

Abagail shook her head slowly, and Elia’s breath caught. “No, not like you think I do.”

Elia’s stomach tightened. She looked out toward the kitchen, hearing Kamryn’s laughter with her mom, and steadied herself. “What are you not saying?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Abagail…” Elia’s body went cold. “We’re best friends.”

“I know we are. It’s why I haven’t said anything before now. You were never interested in me in that way, and I never thought that I’d say anything, but seeing you and Kam together? I can’t help but wonder what if it was me?”

It had been Abagail. For years when Elia had been single, she’d used her friendship in that way, relying on Abagail for the support that she would normally rely on a partner to help with. That hadn’t been right of her. But they were best friends.

“I’m not in love with you like that,” Elia lowered her voice, again looking toward the kitchen. She couldn’t have Kamryn walking in on this. It would blow up, it would be a disaster, and they had finally found even footing lately.

“I know you’re not.” Abagail lifted her chin up, sadness sweeping through her gaze. “It doesn’t mean that I’m not in love with you. I always have been.” Abagail reached out and rested her hand on Elia’s knee. “And seeing you so happy with Kam is fucking hard, Elia.”

“I can’t imagine.” She couldn’t. She’d never been in a situation like that before. She’d always been the one on the outside looking in but never with the feelings and the emotions attached to it. Looking around her mother’s house now came with an entirely different feel. Had she been giving off the wrong signals for years? Had Abagail found places where Elia had accidentally told her that she was interested in a more romantic partnership? Had she taken advantage of Abagail’s feelings without even considering the cost to their friendship?

“Don’t do that,” Abagail whispered, squeezing Elia’s knee before she moved her hand. “Second guessing the last three decades isn’t going to win you any favors.”

“How did you—?”

“I know you.” Abagail frowned into her wine. “And I love you, so of course I pay attention to how you behave.” Abagail shook her head. “I don’t want you to be with her, not because she doesn’t make you happy, but because I want to be with you.”

Elia had no idea what to say. She’d never heard any of this from Abagail before.

“I think I’m going to go,” Abagail said, standing up and putting her wine on the table. “Will you tell Mom I’ll call her next week?”

“Uh… yeah.” Elia stood up, following Abagail toward the front door to the house. She again was at a loss for words. Did she say she would call Abagail? See her soon? This put her in such an awkward spot, and they hadn’t really resolved anything. Abagail had just dropped this bomb on her lap and now she was leaving.

At the front door, Abagail snagged her jacket and scarf, putting them on. All the while, she kept her gaze on Elia, and a sad smile on her lips. “I’ll call you soon. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Elia said, glad to have at least that little bit of hope.

“I’m just going to take some time. Okay? I want you to be happy, and I see that with Kam in ways I never saw with anyone else.” Abagail stopped, she stared down at Elia, and then she took a step forward. “I want something just like this.”

Abagail moved swiftly. She cupped Elia’s face and pulled her in, pressing their lips together in a swift kiss. Elia’s stomach twisted sharply, and she pulled away, immediately moving her hand up to her mouth and wiping her lips.

“I’ll call,” Abagail said as she stepped out the front door. She looked at Elia and then over Elia’s shoulder, nodding before she stepped away.

Elia knew without turning.

Kamryn was standing there. The voices in the kitchen had gone silent. The blood rushed into her ears, making her head spin, and she felt like she was about to collapse to the floor in a puddle of something she wasn’t sure she could even name.

“I didn’t…” Elia started.

“I saw,” Kamryn answered. But she stayed so far away that Elia wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Elia swallowed the lump in her throat, glued to the spot where she’d been when Abagail had kissed her. What fresh hell was this?

“Just give me a minute.” Kamryn put her hand up as if to stop Elia from approaching. “Just a minute.”

Elia stayed where she was, wanting to rush forward and tell Kamryn that she had no idea what had just happened. They continued to stare at each other in the silence until Kamryn nodded at her.

“All right.”

Elia moved swiftly then, walking right up to Kamryn and shaking her head wildly. “I have no idea where that came from.”

“If you couldn’t tell that girl was in love with you for years, you’re more blind than me!” Elia’s mom piped up from behind Kamryn. “I could have told you that was going to happen when you brought Kam home.” Janet snorted. “Serves her right though. If she’s going to wait around for years and not do anything about it, then she’s going to have to pay the consequences.”

Kamryn gave Elia a pained expression. Elia reached for Kamryn’s hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Kamryn gave her a weak smile. “Not easy to see, but not your fault.”

“Are you sure?” Elia asked.

“Yeah.” Kamryn lifted Elia’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Want to talk?”

“Yes.” Elia smiled. “Let’s take a walk.”

“I’ll get dessert ready.” Janet wandered back toward the kitchen.

Elia stepped into Kamryn’s space, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Again, Elia, it’s really not your fault.” Kamryn rubbed her hands up and down Elia’s back in a soothing motion. “Come on, let’s walk and talk.”

Once they were bundled up and outside of the house, Elia felt much better. Just being out of that space gave her a clearer head. “Are you sure you’re not mad?”

“I saw and heard enough to know it wasn’t your idea, and you weren’t particularly interested in it.” Kamryn chuckled. “Trust me, I know when you want to be kissed.”

Elia’s lips quirked up slightly at that and she tightened her grip in Kamryn’s hand. “I didn’t know she felt that way.”

“You and Abagail have something in common. That much was obvious from the moment I met her.” Kamryn walked across the street to the next. “You’re both cold as ice until you decide to let someone in. And then you warm right up. You’re just very picky about who those people might be.”

“You,” Elia answered. “I let you in.”

“You did.” Kamryn grinned brilliantly. “And Abagail hasn’t yet. She might get there, and she might not. That’s a decision for her to make.”

They walked another half block before Elia found herself going right back to that moment when she turned around and Kamryn was there, and the look of satisfaction on Abagail’s face. That was what bothered her the most, like Abagail had intentionally caused drama between them. But she wouldn’t do that, would she?

“Are you sure you aren’t upset?” Elia asked again.

“I’m sure.” Kamryn laughed lightly this time. Not in a making-fun way, but a this is ridiculous way. She moved in and kissed Elia’s cheek.

Elia instinctively turned and pressed their lips together. The cold air bit at her cheeks, but Kamryn was all warmth and comfort, a welcome reprieve from what Elia had been experiencing. She backed away slightly and smiled up at Kamryn.

“You know the first time you asked to kiss me, I was so taken aback by the question that I told you no.”

“That’s why you said no?”

Elia nodded, taking hold of both of Kamryn’s hands and lacing their fingers. “No one has ever asked me that before. And I have to say, I prefer it.”

“You prefer it?” Kamryn grinned brightly.

“Yes.” Elia took a small step in closer. “I like when you ask me to kiss you or you ask to kiss me. It’s consent, it’s permission, it’s a decision that we make together.”

Humming, Kamryn bent down and put her lips a breath away from Elia’s. “Do you want me to kiss you now?”

“Yes.” Elia breathed the word.

When Kamryn’s mouth touched hers, Elia melted. She stayed right where she was, giving Kamryn everything that she wanted and more. Elia closed her eyes, holding tightly onto this moment—one where they were understanding each other, where they were going together in hope for what might come next. Pulling away, Elia licked her lips and smiled.

“We do need to talk, though.”

“Talk?” Kamryn raised an eyebrow. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Whether or not I’m staying at Windermere.”

Kamryn’s step faltered. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think it’d be better if I started applying at other schools? Especially if you apply for the permanent position?” Elia started walking back toward the house. She was getting chilled to the bone far more quickly than she anticipated. And she wanted to get warm.

“It’s an option, but I thought the way things were going so far was fine. Marshall’s back, and that takes our conflict of interest one step farther away.”

“But it’s still going to be there no matter what we do. There might be work-arounds, but it doesn’t mean that students or other staff and faculty won’t try to play that out when they shouldn’t.” Elia kept her hand locked in Kamryn’s. She wasn’t going to let go. “I just think that maybe I should. It’d be easier for me to find another job than you.”

Kamryn frowned, and she stopped Elia just in front of her mother’s house. She shook her head. “Stay.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I know that.” Kamryn kissed Elia’s cheek. “But I want you to stay at Windermere. I enjoy getting to see you so often, and I don’t want to give up what little time we have together. Besides, if you go to another school, then we’ll be opponents at Speech. And you’ll know all of our tricks.”

Elia laughed lightly. “As if there are tricks in Speech.”

Kamryn shrugged. “Stay. Please. I want you to.”

“I love you, Kam.” Elia leaned up and kissed her quickly. “You’re so understanding, even when you probably shouldn’t be.”

“When shouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know.” Elia relaxed. “I don’t know if I would have been as calm if I’d found you and Lauren kissing.”

“Lauren and I have a very different history than you and Abagail. You really can’t compare the two. It’d be like Greer and me. And that has never happened, nor will it.” Kamryn wrapped her arm around Elia’s shoulder and pulled her in tightly against her side. “I have a very particular question for you.”

“Okay?” Elia looked up into Kamryn’s dark eyes, even darker when the sun was down. “What’s the question?”

“Is sex off limits when we’re at your mother’s? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“You want to have sex?” Elia wrinkled her brow. “Now?”

“No, not now!” Kamryn snorted. “But maybe tonight. I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next time you drag me here.”

“Drag you here? Are you coming for another holiday?”

Kamryn shrugged slightly. “I will if you invite me.”

That was music to Elia’s ears. She loved thinking that they were going to be spending more time together, and more holidays together. It meant that their relationship truly was one that might last. And with all the drama and fear she’d had in the beginning about that, she was glad to see that they were defeating the odds against them.

“Yes, we can have sex.”

“Oh good. Now, just how deaf is your mom?”

“Kam!” Elia playfully hit Kamryn’s arm. “Don’t you dare.”

“Dare what? Make you scream.”

“Shhh.” Elia stepped toward the front door and pulled Kamryn with her. “Come on, Mom’s sweet potato pie is to die for. Some might say…orgasmic.”