Page 15 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)
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Kamryn was at a loss.
They were making no progress whatsoever, and the fact that she had to sit through yet another one of these meetings was killing her slowly. How was she supposed to form an ethics committee with these two in charge of it? Or even involved in it?
Heather and Susy were chattering away so fast about plans they’d already made outside of this meeting. They expected Kamryn to either follow along with the conversation or just shut up and agree to whatever the hell they suggested.
Well, that wasn’t going to happen.
Kamryn wasn’t that kind of person and she needed more than that from the people she was working with. Even if she was forced to work with them.
“We need to do intense interviews with all faculty and staff immediately. We’ll start those with the English department.”
Kamryn froze. Which one had said that? She’d gotten lost in her own annoyances and missed part of the conversation, although she didn’t seem to miss the point of what they were trying to do. Kamryn bit her cheek and held her tongue, needing more information before they completely cut her out of the conversation and just did whatever they were going to do without her.
“Yes, let’s start there. I think it’s best to start with the head of each department, then they can tell everyone it’s painless.” That was Susy.
Kamryn clenched her fist under the table. She had to stop this. This wasn’t what the ethics committee was supposed to be.
Heather turned on her. “You can start with Elia Sharpe.”
“W-what?” Kamryn shook her head. “You want me to interview each staff and faculty member, and make sure they’re what? Not pedophiles?”
“Exactly.” Heather smiled at her gleefully, as if Kamryn had finally figured out the entire point of what they were discussing and was finally on board with it.
“No.”
“No?” Susy leaned in, her voice rising not in questioning but in anger.
Most likely because Kamryn even dared to tell her no to anything. How many times had Susy heard that word? Especially from the Head of School? Or did she just assume that the Head of School was her bitch and would do anything that they were told to do by the board.
“No,” Kamryn repeated. “I won’t start a witch hunt. It’s one thing to update background checks, or even make them more in-depth than the previous ones, but I’m not going to interrogate the staff and faculty looking for people who are doing things wrong.”
“But it’s for the protection of the children.”
“It’s really not.” Kamryn was going to put her foot down on this one, and if she had to, then she’d get even more people involved. And that might be the solution, honestly. And again, they were trying to oust Elia. What the hell was up with that? Neither one of them had given a good reason as to why they were so focused on her. “This is because you’re afraid of something, and until you tell me what is so terrifying or file a formal complaint, I won’t participate in this.”
Susy’s jaw dropped. “This is your job.”
“No. It’s not. My job is to run this school, to educate its students, and to make sure that staff and faculty have a safe and healthy environment to work, and for some of them, live in. Nothing in my job description is to find out every single thing that would put each person on the naughty list. And I won’t participate in a witch hunt. Let me repeat that to make myself very clear. I will not participate in a witch hunt.”
Kamryn stacked up her papers and slammed her notepad on top of them. She stood up, pushing the chair out from under her as she gave Susy and Heather a hard look.
“This meeting is done.”
“There are going to be repercussions for this,” Heather said. “You’ll get in trouble.”
“Then so be it.” Kamryn shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “But I won’t stand by and be speechless while this happens. It’s not right. It is unethical. And it’s ironic that you chose the ethics team of all the teams to host your little witch hunt.” Kamryn put her fists on her hips and stared at them again. They really needed to leave before she lost even more of her temper.
She was tired.
It was late.
And this was beyond ridiculous.
It was outrageous.
“This meeting is adjourned,” Kamryn said, again trying to push them out of the conference room door.
They finally picked up their things and walked out. Kamryn made sure to escort them out of the administration building. She was pretty damn sure that they would sit in the parking lot for a while and complain about how rude Kamryn was, but she didn’t care. She just needed them out.
She shivered as the cold hit her, but she locked the door behind her and went immediately back to her office. She meant to plop down in her chair, but she couldn’t even bring herself to do that. She was way too pissed off. She needed to throw and break something.
Not even a phone call to Greer was going to help her this time.
What the hell did they have against Elia?
Because nothing Kamryn had seen so far warranted this kind of behavior toward her. Elia was insanely professional with the kids, even when they were out on overnight trips. She supported them, and she was never alone with them if she could avoid it. The other times, she left the door wide open so anyone who walked by could see. There were cameras everywhere, and Elia lived on campus.
What was going on? Seriously?
It irked Kamryn to no end, and the fact that Elia refused to tell her. She’d been close to it a few times, but she’d never actually told Kamryn what was holding her back on so many fronts.
“Fuck,” Kamryn muttered under her breath. She needed to get out of her head and out of her office. Pocketing her keys and leaving her office the mess that it was, Kamryn left. She didn’t even have her jacket, which of course she didn’t realize until after she was outside in the near-freezing air.
She’d be fine.
One night without it wouldn’t kill her.
Kamryn started with walking around the gardens by the administration building, but then she just let her feet take her wherever she needed to go. When she finally looked up, her brain pounding less but her anger still very present, she realized she was at the small row of faculty and staff houses.
Elia’s was the second one from the end of the row on the right.
Could she?
They hadn’t exactly left off in the best of places after the last competition, but in the intervening days Kamryn hadn’t sensed any grudges or anger between them. In fact, conversing with Elia had been much easier than before.
Clenching her jaw and squaring her shoulders, Kamryn knew what she had to do. She had to go directly to the source. She needed to know what she didn’t know, otherwise she couldn’t protect anyone. She couldn’t do her damn job without information.
Her feet took her swiftly to Elia’s small home. The lights on either side of the sidewalk illuminated the path, and the front porch light was on. Kamryn marched directly up to the front door and curled her hand into a fist, knocking hard. Her heart hammered, her arms were so cold that she worried briefly they might fall off, and her toes curled in her shoes in response.
“Kamryn?” Elia said as she opened the door, obvious confusion and then concern in her gaze. “What’s wrong?”
“So much is wrong,” Kamryn muttered.
“God, you must be freezing.” Elia opened the door wider and ushered Kamryn inside, shutting it instantly. She didn’t wait as she reached out and pressed her gloriously warm palms to Kamryn’s bare arms. “Where’s your jacket?”
“I forgot it in my office.”
“And instead of going back to get it, you just walked here without it?”
“I took a gander around the garden first. Look, I came here for a reason.” Kamryn’s tone was sharp, bursting with anger. She knew that. But she couldn’t pull it back in or stop it no matter how hard she tried. Not that she was actually trying. That would be giving in to the insanity that had been that meeting. “The board…” Kamryn stopped talking.
What could she actually say?
She should be looking out for her future here at Windermere, along with Elia’s future. Elia was a faculty member, not her girlfriend or spouse. Which meant that there were vastly different lines around what they could share with each other. Fuck, Kamryn hated this.
“What happened?” Kamryn finally asked.
Elia wrinkled her brow and shook her head slowly. “I asked you that.” She walked away, heading straight for the kitchen and hitting the button on the electric tea kettle. “I’ll make us some tea, so you can warm up.”
Damn her for being so kind and thinking about something like that. Kamryn didn’t move from the doorway though. She really needed answers. She had to know what was going on in order to know what action she needed to take next.
“What happened all those years ago? What are you hiding?”
Elia froze, her entire body going tense. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know! That’s the entire problem. And no one will just come out and say it!”
“Say what?” Elia nearly shouted this time.
The pain in her voice took Kamryn off guard. She breathed deeply, no sound in the air except her ragged breaths in and out as they stared at each other from across the living room and kitchen. “What happened to you at this school that put everyone on edge?”
Elia put her hand up. “I can’t…”
“Because I can’t protect you without knowing. And they want to fire you or something. They want to put you under the microscope and make you sweat and probably force you out if they can’t fire you. And I can’t in good conscience let them do that if I don’t know what the hell it’s for.” Kamryn was ready to explode. She needed to release this energy somewhere, and she knew she shouldn’t be doing it here. But Elia was the only other person in this equation that had any information.
“Kam.”
“No! Don’t Kam me. Tell me what I don’t know. I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one in this entire school that doesn’t know what happened.” Kamryn took a step forward, her fists shaking from being held so tightly. She practically vibrated with her anger. “And if you keep this a secret any longer, you’re just as bad as them.”
“I won’t! I won’t be forced to tell you what happened. It’s my story to tell!” Elia’s voice rang through the living room, piercing Kamryn’s ears. She’d never seen Elia this upset before. “I won’t let them take that one thing that I have left. Not now, not ever.”
“But how can I help you if I don’t know what the fuck is going on?” Kamryn threw her hands out to her sides, still riding the anger wave as long as she possibly could. “This is why you should have been on the ethics team. Then you could have controlled some of this.”
“Don’t!” Elia pointed her finger at Kamryn. “Don’t even think that. Even if I had agreed, I never would have been allowed to be on that team.”
“But why?” It was an angry whine now. The frustration built in her chest, and nothing was working to get rid of it. Kamryn needed to let it explode out of her, and right now Elia was the only target in sight. “I don’t understand why.”
“You don’t have to understand!” Elia shouted back.
“I want to. I want to know.” Kamryn took another step. She was finally in the middle of the living room, but she wasn’t close enough to Elia. She could see the pain in her face, the hurt and heartache that she was no doubt feeling, but she couldn’t see if she was at her breaking point yet. If finally, she was going to tell Kamryn exactly what she needed to hear.
“You don’t.”
“I do!” Kamryn fired back. “I do want to know. I want to be able to understand what all this underhanded nastiness is about. I can only protect you so much from it without knowing.”
“Don’t protect me.” Elia’s voice was a deadly calm. “I don’t need or want your protection.”
Kamryn paused at that. Everyone needed that at some point. And Elia had given her that at the fall festival, so Kamryn would return the favor if it was warranted, but at this point, Kamryn didn’t even know if it was warranted. “If I don’t protect you, then this school will fall apart.”
“Let it.” The words were so cold. They were said with no fear. Elia stood in the kitchen, her tone resolute and her entire being determined.
“I won’t let them turn this into a witch hunt. I won’t let them take the entire school down just to get you.” Kamryn reached the edge of the kitchen counter, her fingers curling around the counter, her knuckles turning white. She still couldn’t feel half of her body from the cold, but she needed Elia to understand how much danger this was putting the school in. If they could do this with one teacher, they would do it with everyone.
And everyone made mistakes.
The point was that not every mistake deserved termination and not every mistake deserved a hanging. But Susy and Heather were making it out to be that Elia deserved all of that and more.
“It’s been a witch hunt for eighteen years.” The way Elia said that, the dead calm and the painful acceptance, hurt Kamryn deeply. This was what Elia was hiding, this pain and betrayal. It wasn’t from a past lover or a family member. It was from the school, and everyone Elia had trusted at some point in her life to be her family away from home.
“I won’t allow witch hunts on my campus. I won’t let them burn you.”
“They already have.” Elia raised her chin up in defiance, her gaze filled with it.
“They haven’t. I know they haven’t.” Kamryn lowered her voice. That anger was sliding away from her now, finally having had its outlet. But she was left in the pitiful pain that she’d brought up and forced Elia to feel right in front of her, and she hated herself for that. She needed to be better, to do better.
“Kam.”
Kamryn ignored her. She didn’t want the confession like that. She didn’t want to be the reason that Elia couldn’t sleep tonight or to force Elia to have to share when she wasn’t ready for it, when there wasn’t enough trust—
“Kamryn!”
“What?” Kamryn snapped her head up, locking her eyes on Elia’s.
“Yes.” Elia’s entire body went lax, as if that acceptance had morphed into something else, something that she was finally comfortable with, something that they could both tangibly touch and see now.
“Yes?” Confusion clouded Kamryn’s thoughts. What had they even been talking about? She’d gotten so lost in her self-flagellation that she hadn’t managed to keep track of what they were talking about. Kamryn walked around the counter and stepped in closer to Elia, making sure that Elia had her full attention now. She wouldn’t do that again. She wouldn’t be the bully that she abhorred, that she was fighting against. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”