Page 24 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)

twenty-four

“You got a minute?” Elia asked as she knocked on Kamryn’s door. Mrs. Caldera hadn’t been in when she’d shown up—not that Elia had intentionally waited until the lunch hour before coming to see Kamryn, knowing full well that she wouldn’t be joining the rest of the school for lunch.

“For you?” Kamryn asked, looking up from her computer and grinning broadly. “Always.”

That warmed Elia even though the last few days had been tenuous at best. Ever since they’d returned from the Speech meet, Elia had kept her distance. She’d purposely not met up with Kamryn alone, finding only time when they could be seen by others to talk. It was one way of avoiding, that was for certain, but it was also a way of protecting.

But now they needed to talk. Seriously. About everything that Elia had avoided the last few days while she got her head on straight and figured out what her next steps were going to be. And she’d taken advantage of as much time as she thought she could manage.

Elia left the door open, still wanting to be able to be seen if any questions were asked. She stood in front of Kamryn’s desk, arms crossed, and she once again debated where to even start. She should have prepared better for this.

“I wanted to apologize, for my recent behavior,” Elia said, her voice clear and strong. It probably came off as aggressive. Surely someone would accuse her of that.

“What exactly are you apologizing for?”

“Being distant,” Elia said on a sigh. She couldn’t go into this like an attack. It wouldn’t end well for anyone if she did. Sliding into one of the chairs facing Kamryn’s desk, Elia crossed her legs, then uncrossed them, then leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. “I haven’t been myself lately.”

“I’ll say…” Kamryn answered, glancing toward the open door. “Do you want me to shut that?”

“No.” Elia straightened up. “We need the space.”

“We do?” Kamryn furrowed her brow, and Elia knew she was being confusing. But she wasn’t doing it on purpose. At least, she didn’t mean to be.

“I need it,” Elia corrected. “There are a lot of things I’m working through right now. Well, one thing I’m working through, but it can have ripple effects that I don’t want to have too much of an impact.”

“You’re talking in riddles, Elia.” Kamryn sighed heavily. “What is this even about? Us? The school? Speech team?”

“All of it.” Elia ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s about all of it and none of it. I can’t promise that it’ll make sense at any point. But I really think that we might need to put a pause on us.”

“A pause,” Kamryn repeated, no doubt trying to process exactly what Elia was saying. And Elia should give her the time to do that. She’d been thinking about this nonstop for days now, ever since she’d run into Yara, and she needed to give Kamryn that same time to draw her own conclusions.

“Is that really what you want?” Kamryn asked, so sincere in her question.

Elia nearly broke then. It would be so easy to open up and tell Kamryn everything, but Abagail had advised against it. Not because they shouldn’t share but because it was safer this way—for everyone involved. But with all of that, Elia knew exactly how to answer Kamryn’s question.

“No.”

“Lucky finding you two here,” Yara said from the doorway.

Elia instantly tensed. Her spine went ramrod straight. She clenched her jaw, the ache already starting, and she couldn’t force herself to look toward Kamryn. She couldn’t see Kamryn’s reaction to what she knew was coming.

“Yara,” Kamryn said, straightening up before she stood. She walked forward and extended her hand toward Yara in a greeting.

Elia envied her ability to put on that mask, but with all the history between her and Yara, it was going to be impossible for her. And it would come off as so fake that Yara would smell it miles away. But she was regretting leaving the door open now. How much had Yara heard before she’d announced her arrival?

Had she heard and understood Elia’s confession?

“I know I’m early for tonight, but I wanted to get a head start on going through some of the files.” Yara clutched something to her chest. “Do you mind if I use the conference room?”

“I don’t think anything’s scheduled in there until our meeting tonight.” Kamryn stepped back and glanced at Elia, catching her gaze. The concern in her eyes was there an instant before it vanished, and she turned back to Yara. “Were there any files you needed that I can get for you?”

“All files concerning current faculty and staff,” Yara said while looking directly at Elia. “We want to protect our current students, don’t we?”

Elia stood up, folding her hands together in front of her. She hardened immediately. This was the battle that she was going to be up against, and she was going to have to rely on the fact that the investigation eighteen years ago had been conducted well and that she was innocent. Once again, she was going to have to trust others to protect her, people who had no interest in her welfare.

“I think I’ll leave you two to it,” Elia said as she picked up the jacket she’d set on the chair when she’d come in.

“No, stay. I don’t want to disrupt your meeting…again.” Yara was looking directly at her. When had her eyes become so cold? “You two do seem to have a lot of meetings.”

Kamryn jerked her head to the side then, pinning Yara with a sharp look. “I have one-on-one meetings with all the faculty on a regular basis, but considering that Dr. Sharpe and I both run the Speech team—yes, we have a few more meetings than the others.”

Was Kamryn aware of just how dangerous defending Elia could be for her own future?

Probably not.

Elia swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I didn’t hear a conversation about the Speech team,” Yara crooned.

That answered Elia’s earlier question. And she wasn’t ready for it to come out into the open. Running was so much better than this. Sliding her arms into her jacket, Elia put it on. She was determined to get out of here. Quick and fast—that was the only way.

“What you heard was a personal conversation, and it wasn’t meant for your ears.” Kamryn squared her stance, spreading her feet out and glaring at Yara with everything that she had.

Elia had no doubt that even without hearing the words they were saying, Yara would be aware of the tension in the room, the tension between them. Elia could still feel it, she could still hear her resounding answer to Kamryn’s intuitive question.

“I’m here to protect the students, Kamryn. That’s why I was asked to be on the ethics team, and that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

Elia shivered. The use of Kamryn’s first name? That was a dressing down if she knew it. Since when had Yara become so hardened? It was amazing what eighteen years could do to someone, that was for certain. Elia just had to look at her own life for a prime example of that. She’d slowly shut down over the years, pushing people further away from her—until Kamryn. Until someone who seemed so interested in what was underneath the surface that Elia couldn’t resist coming up from her hidey-hole to see what she’d been missing all these years.

“No one would ever ask you to do anything else,” Kamryn answered. “And that’s not what I’m asking you to do now.”

Elia really wanted to leave. She didn’t need to be here for this, did she?

“Having her here is a risk.”

Shame filled Elia. This was how it was all going to come out, wasn’t it? This was how her world as she knew it was going to end, and the second wave of bullshit was going to take over her life. And she still wasn’t certain she could survive it a second time. Had she even survived the first time?

“Dr. Sharpe?” Kamryn furrowed her brow and looked from Yara to Elia and back again. “Elia has no open complaints about her. In fact, she hasn’t had any in years.”

Had Kamryn looked her up? Had she read Elia’s personnel file? Because all that information would be in there. Violation ripped through her. She was exposed here, not just in a professional sense but in a personal one. Kamryn could so easily know so much about her if she just looked. And it sounded like she had.

“But she has had some.” The sharp lines of Yara’s face were so prominent when she was angry. “You shouldn’t defend something that you know nothing about.”

Kamryn closed her mouth then.

So she hadn’t read that far into it.

Elia wasn’t sure if she was happy with that or not. But it did mean that Kamryn trusted her—even if it wasn’t warranted.

“I haven’t met a teacher who doesn’t have at least one complaint against them. I have complaints against me, not only as a teacher but also as an admin.”

“We’re not talking about minor complaints, Kamryn.” There it was again, that tone that Yara used when she thought she had all the power in the room. “We’re talking about career-ending accusations.”

“I really shouldn’t be here for this.” Elia stepped away from the chair and tried to head straight for the door, but Yara stepped between it and her. Elia wasn’t sure what to do next. She’d never been physically blocked from leaving a room before. “This is between you and the ethics team and Dr. Ogden, Yara. This isn’t between you and me.”

“It’s always been between us,” Yara said quietly, a threat in her tone. “And it always will be.”

Elia gulped. It was career-ending this time. She had no doubts of it. If Yara was going to remain on the board in any capacity, then Elia wasn’t going to have a position at Windermere. But she would hang on for as long as she could, because her kids mattered, and she wanted them to have the best they could for as long as she could.

And she would make damn sure that Yara never did this to anyone else.

“For Dr. Ogden’s knowledge,” Elia started, facing Kamryn with an apologetic look on her face, “Yara and I dated for nearly two years.”

Kamryn paled. “When?”

“We broke up eighteen years ago.” Elia lifted her chin in defiance. She clenched her jaw again. “It was a mutual break up—at first. But grudges have been held since.”

“It’ll all come out anyway.” Yara sneered. “It’s just a matter of time.”

“It will come out.” Elia wasn’t going to back down. She’d done that once before, but she wasn’t the same person she had been then. This was her life Yara was screwing with. Elia let the anger surge forward, filling her chest and the top of her head. “All of it will come out. Are you prepared for that?”

“Absolutely,” Yara answered with a sickening grin.

“Good.” Elia faced Kamryn. “We’ll talk later.”

“Yeah,” Kamryn breathed the word out.

Elia had no doubt that she was completely lost to what was happening, to the war that she’d just walked into. All Elia could do was hope that Kamryn finally went and searched what she’d so obviously hadn’t. It would tell her everything. But for now, it was out of her hands.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, Elia balled her fingers into tight fists. She stared Yara down and waited in silence. She would do that until Yara moved. She would hold her ground with everything that she had.

“Why don’t I get you settled into the conference room?” Kamryn stepped forward, putting her hand out in front of her. She ushered Yara away, leaving Elia in the office.

Who had Elia been kidding?

This office would never be hers. She should have given up that dream decades ago when this had first happened. She should have never thought that she’d be allowed to be in that role and position. Relaxing slightly, Elia stared around the room some more. She slowly said goodbye to that dream and that hope.

No one had ever wanted her in that position. It had been a pipe dream at best, and it was time. Time to give it all up and to settle for what she knew she could have. And to fight to keep that. Because she was going to be lucky to keep it now.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Kamryn rushed as she came back in.

How long had Elia been standing there? She shook her head, breaking her reverie. “It’s not your fault.”

“If I’d known you and her—”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, Kam. Dating a student’s mother isn’t the worst of it. Putting myself in a position that could ever seem unethical was. And I need to keep my promise to myself.” Elia tightened every muscle in her body, because she didn’t like what she had to do next. “I won’t put myself in another compromising position.”

“You mean us.” Kamryn closed the door behind her this time, pushing on it to make sure that it was shut.

“I mean me.” Elia pursed her lips, already deciding exactly what she needed to do next. And it wasn’t going to be pleasant for either one of them. “You should look in my personnel file, Kam. Stop avoiding it. Better yet, get online and search my name. And you should do it now, before you walk into that ethics meeting.”

“Elia…” Kamryn stepped in close to her, immediately reaching for her arm, but Elia jerked back.

She had to protect herself from this. “Don’t touch me, Kam. I can’t…” Her voice broke on the word. “I won’t take you down with me.”

Without another word, Elia walked out.

She was doing this for both of them.

“Elia!” Kamryn followed her into the main office.

Elia halted by the outer door. This felt final. But it wasn’t. And yet, something about it seemed like an end. There was a chasm between them, and Elia needed to keep it there. It was Kamryn’s protection as much as her own.

“What do you want me to think?”

Shaking her head, Elia very nearly came to tears. She just wanted Kamryn to believe her. But she couldn’t ask that. It was too much. Biting her lip to prevent the tears from falling, Elia bolstered herself for what she knew she had to say.

“I want you to believe the victim.”