Page 18 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)

eighteen

“You look…” Abagail studied Elia carefully, her cup just at her lips, but she didn’t take a sip of the steaming coffee. “…I’m not even sure how to describe it.”

Elia’s cheeks burned. She hadn’t thought that breakfast with Abagail would turn into this. She’d intended to come and talk about Abagail’s trip, but not much else. She hadn’t thought that she would end up as the subject matter, and certainly not so close to the beginning of their meal. “I had a good week, that’s all.”

“Hmm… you lie, but I’ll let it slide for right now.”

Elia winced. “How was Italy?”

“Wonderful. Excellent.”

“And your traveling companion?” Elia hated asking that question. It felt so odd in some ways, but she did always want to make sure that Abagail got what she needed out of the trips she took, including on the emotional and sexual front. Details she definitely didn’t need, and thankfully, Abagail didn’t typically share those, but she would usually talk about whoever went with her.

“Katelyn was stunning, as always.” Abagail finally took a sip of the coffee she’d been holding and smiled in Elia’s direction. “You really should try it some time. The no strings attached. You might actually end up liking it—and maybe yourself—better.”

Elia’s cheeks burned. Abagail certainly couldn’t know, could she?

The pause was filled with tension, and surely Abagail would pick up on that.

Elia had to say something to distract them, to change the topic, to move it back to Abagail’s exploits rather than her own. “Would you go back? With Katelyn?”

“No.” Abagail set her mug down and started to dive into her eggs benedict. “Katelyn was fun for a few weeks, but I don’t think I’ll invite her on another trip. Don’t think that your distraction went unnoticed. What was that look all about?”

Cursing under her breath, Elia picked up her fork and stabbed some of the home fries on her plate. “I’ve gotten closer with Kamryn while you were gone.”

“While I was gone?” Abagail raised an eyebrow in Elia’s direction. “I was only gone two weeks.”

“Well, before then…and after.” Elia tried her best not to mumble the last few words, but she definitely failed on that front. She wasn’t going to get out of talking about this, so she might as well just embrace the fact that Abagail was her best friend and she’d find out eventually. There was no reason to keep anything a secret from her. Besides, Abagail could provide good advice. “We…had a night.”

“Elia! You dog! Are you serious?” The interest in Abagail’s face was intoxicating.

Elia was so used to trying to hide every part of her relationships from the world that it was a struggle to be more open about it. “Yes, it’s been amazing, honestly. Something about Kam is so different from anyone else I’ve been with.”

“Do you perhaps trust her?” Abagail raised an eyebrow at Elia.

“Maybe.” Elia still wasn’t sure how deep that trust ran, but they were working on building it up, weren’t they? “Trust isn’t built in one night.”

“Neither was Rome.” Abagail winked. “But I think this is a good thing for you. Even if she is your boss.”

Elia’s stomach twisted at that thought. “Yeah, that’s a complication that I hadn’t thought through.”

“You need to.” Abagail shoved the fork between her lips, a small dash of the hollandaise sauce lingering on her lip before she licked it up. “It could be disastrous for both of you, and because of what happened—”

“We don’t need to talk about that,” Elia interrupted. It was the last thing she wanted to talk about, especially when she was feeling so good lately. She didn’t want to think about it either, even if it was a huge part of the reason why she’d finally made the move with Kamryn. The silence at the table was stilted, and Elia knew she’d hit some sort of sore point with Abagail.

Abagail cocked her head and pursed her lips, holding her fork and knife like she was going to attack Elia next instead of her food. “We have to talk about it.”

“No, we don’t.” Elia dove into her own breakfast, needing the physical distraction now since the verbal one wasn’t going to work.

“Fine, we don’t have to talk specifics, but what you went through last time was in part because you didn’t disclose who you were with. And you don’t want to be running headlong into that same mistake twice, do you?”

“It wasn’t like Kam and I were planning on being in a relationship.”

“Are you?” Abagail gave her a very pointed look, but it wasn’t filled with the excitement and joy that Elia had hoped her best friend would have for her. Surely Abagail should be excited for her to actually be in a relationship with someone instead of pining away over something she thought she’d never have again. “Are you in a relationship, Elia?”

“I… I don’t know. We haven’t really discussed…”

“Elia.” Abagail set her silverware down and put her full attention on Elia. “You and Kam need to have a serious discussion about what it is you’re wanting from each other. And you really need to tell the board what’s going on. You can’t keep this hidden like last time, especially because Kam is your immediate supervisor.”

“It’s not like that. She wouldn’t…”

“She might not,” Abigail interrupted. “But it wasn’t Yara either, remember?”

The scolding had the desired effect. The elation that Elia had felt from the start of her relationship with Kamryn dissipated quickly.

“Kam was your former student, right?”

“Yes,” Elia whispered, already knowing exactly where this conversation was going, and she really, really didn’t want it to go there. She’d made that clear as day already, and yet she knew without a doubt that Abagail was going to take it that direction. “But nothing happened back then.”

“I trust your word on that, but I also know you.” Abagail picked her knife and fork back up and cut rather harshly into her food. She wasn’t saying it. Elia knew that. But it did need to be said. More than that, Elia needed to take to heart the accusations that were likely to fly.

“But you think someone else will accuse me of that.”

“Would you? If you weren’t at the center of this situation, wouldn’t you have questions?”

Abagail was right. Elia hated it, but she was. And once it came out that she and Kamryn were in some sort of relationship, even if it just remained sexual and just one night, it was going to be brought up that she was sleeping with a student of hers—even if it was twenty years later. There would be questions. There would be accusations. There would be pain and heartache, and fuck, she really didn’t want to think about or talk about this.

She just wanted to live into the happiness for a little longer, maybe even get her feet under her if this was going to develop into something more. Because if Elia allowed herself to dream and have hope, which she had the last few days, she could actually see a future for them.

Or at least she wanted to see if that was a possibility.

Something about Kamryn grabbed hold of her and held on tightly. Something that Elia loved feeling again.

“What do you suggest?” Elia asked, taking another bite of her home fries, but not tasting them this time. “Since HR is your area of expertise.”

That had been invaluable the first time Elia had gone through some of this drama. She’d leaned so heavily on Abagail during that time, and she’d never forget what her friend had done for her, the advice she’d ignored then that had landed her in the situation that she’d found herself in. Although Elia wasn’t convinced that informing the board of her relationship with a student’s parent really would have prevented the repercussions of their break up.

Nothing could have prepared her for that.

“I’m so glad you asked.” Abagail seemed delighted again, and as much as Elia wanted to share in that enjoyment, she just couldn’t bring herself to. “Because of what happened the last time…” Abagail wasn’t actually saying the details out loud, and Elia was so grateful for it. “…you and Kam need to sit down and have a discussion about what you want from each other, and then you need to inform the board about the conflict of interest that you’ve now created.”

Elia clenched her jaw tightly, the muscles in her cheeks hurting from how hard she did it. She hadn’t done that in a long time, now that she thought about it, and the muscles weren’t used to the pressure. So much for kicking that bad habit.

“And what do I do when other questions arise?” Elia again skittered around the topic. She wasn’t ready to open that can of worms, to experience that hurt and pain again. It would be too hard, and she wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready for it.

“You phone a friend and have a lawyer on retainer.”

Elia dropped her fork with a loud clatter. “You think it’ll be that bad?”

“I always plan and prepare for the worst, Elia, you know that. And I won’t lie to you, this could get ugly, and it could easily cost you both of your jobs. And if you don’t tell Kam what happened eighteen years ago, she’s going to be blindsided by everything. You have to warn her.”

Elia shook her head sharply. She definitely wasn’t ready for that. “It’ll change everything if I tell her that.”

“It’s part of who you are, and it’s part of your job at this point. She needs to know.” Abagail continued eating, but she kept her eyes on Elia the entire time. The silent message was clear.

This was non-optional.

This was do or die.

This would be her greatest downfall.

“There’s no other option?” Elia asked, needing to be entirely sure that she was going to be stuck in this. That there was no way out without the entire school finding out about what had happened eighteen years ago. Not again. She’d barely survived it the first time. She wouldn’t survive a second round of it.

“Quit. Retire. Leave Windermere. And end your relationship with Kam immediately. That’s the only other option, and even then, I can’t guarantee that it won’t get out and come back to bite you in your pretty little ass.”

None of that settled well with Elia. She’d been impulsive with Kamryn, that was for certain. And now they might very well be in over their heads. “And if I don’t want to do any of that?”

“You really like this girl, don’t you?” Abagail took another large bite of her food.

“I do,” Elia admitted quietly. Why did that feel so dangerous to suggest? “We haven’t talked much since… since that night, but I have a date with her in a few days, and we can talk then.” Elia finally settled into that knowledge. She hated admitting things before she was ready, and Abagail was really good at making her do that. “I mean, we will talk then. We need to.”

“That sounds more like the Elia I know.”

“Really?” Elia frowned at her plate. None of this sounded like her at all.

“No!” Abagail laughed. “You in a relationship? One that you’re this excited about? Doesn’t sound like you. You’ve dated since Yara, yes, but no one has seemed to turn your head like this Kam. I’ll have to meet her soon.”

“Maybe.” Elia wasn’t sure she was ready for that, or that Kamryn was. Putting the two of them in a room would likely end in some sort of pissing match. Elia had never told Abagail this, but when she and Yara broke up, it had been mutual, but a lot of it had been because of Abagail. She and Elia were too intimate with each other according to Yara, and it had continued to put a wedge between them. And Elia hadn’t been willing to give up the strongest friendship she had.

And she’d left Abagail out of that entirely.

Although she had put more distance between them after, wanting to be able to find love again at some point. Though over the years, she’d given up on that hope. Or at least, she thought she had. Still, whatever was between her and Kamryn felt good, and she wanted to continue exploring it.

“Yeah, let’s do it when I come down for Thanksgiving.”

“Hmm.” Elia hadn’t thought about that. She’d already forgotten to call her mother and let her know that Abagail would be coming that year. In fact, it had been way too long since she’d talked to her mother. She’d have to add that to her list of things to do for the week. “I’ll have to talk to Kam and see what she has planned. We haven’t exactly shared our schedules with each other yet.”

“No, just swapping spit.”

Elia rolled her eyes. Abagail could be so crass sometimes. Settled into the fact that a conversation desperately needed to happen—and sooner rather than later—Elia finished her meal in peace, still with the small fluttering of hope inside her chest.

Maybe this was a good thing after all.