Page 35 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)

thirty-five

“I think it’s probably the other way around.” Elia’s comeback was quick.

In truth, Kamryn had been avoiding her. She still wasn’t sure how to take Elia’s resignation, and the longer she could hold off on dealing with it, the longer Elia would remain at the school. She’d given until the end of the semester, but Kamryn was determined to at least push that to the end of the year. She just hadn’t mentioned how much of a hard-ass she was going to be about it yet.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Kamryn frowned. She kept a reasonable distance between them, not wanting to invade Elia’s space at all, but still wanting some kind of answers. “You’ve always talked to me, even when you wouldn’t tell me things.”

Elia’s mask cracked. “I can’t talk to you.”

“Why? I don’t understand.” Kamryn had struggled to fill in that one particular blank for days now. And they were running out of time. The ethics meeting had been pushed back, which meant that Kamryn had far more time to think about Elia and her odd behavior lately.

“Kam…” Elia’s lower lip quivered.

Was she going to break? Kamryn wasn’t sure she could handle that, especially if she was the reason behind it all.

“You told me that this wasn’t fake and then you walked out.” The hurt in her voice was evident. Surely Elia would be able to hear it. “I’m sorry that I put you in this position. That I threatened your job even more than it already was.”

“You should know more about whether or not my job was threatened than anyone else. You hold all the power in this, Kam.”

“Do I?” Kamryn frowned. She wasn’t sure about that. She’d never thought Elia felt as though she’d been forced into any kind of relationship with her. “Did you feel like you didn’t have a choice to be with me?”

“No.” Elia’s hard mask immediately cracked. She reached out and took Kamryn’s hand in hers. “No, I never felt like that.”

“Then where’s this coming from?” Kamryn broke the grasp Elia had on her. She wasn’t sure she could touch Elia after an accusation like that. Yes, Kamryn was Elia’s boss, but she’d never—if anything it was the opposite, wasn’t it?

“Accept my resignation, Kam. Stop putting it off. Let me have a clean break and move on.”

“Where will you go?” Kamryn dropped her gaze to her feet, unable to meet Elia’s eyes.

“I don’t know, but I need to put an end to this.”

“End to what?” Kamryn already knew the answer though, and it did include whatever relationship the two of them had going forward. Elia might not have said as much but Kamryn was certain that’s what Elia had meant.

“Everything.” Elia looked at her directly in the eye. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be someone I’m not.”

“I’m not asking you to be.”

“No, you’re not.” Elia smiled sadly then. “But everyone else is.”

Kamryn shuffled forward slightly. She wished they weren’t in a bathroom in the middle of an insanely busy cafe. She wanted more time with Elia, more quiet intimate time with her than she was going to get here. Kamryn wrapped her fingers into Elia’s, lacing them together and squeezing lightly. “I want to fix this.”

“You can’t fix everything,” Elia whispered.

“But I can fix this.” Kamryn nodded, more confident now than she was before. She’d been doing so much research on who had erased the files and wiped Elia’s record. She’d eliminated Jessup as a possibility already, and Elia. “I promise you I can fix this.”

“But at what cost?”

“At what cost is it if you don’t let me try?” Kamryn cupped Elia’s cheek. “Because I love you.”

“Kam—”

“No, it’s my turn to talk. You blindsided me with that, and it’s my turn to say something.” Kamryn stayed still, making sure that Elia understood the importance of this conversation. “I don’t know if it’ll work out in the end for us, but I wasn’t lying when I said there was more, that it was never fake between us. It’d have been so much easier if it was, but it wasn’t. It’s not,” Kamryn corrected herself. “And I’m not lying or holding back now.”

Kamryn dropped her gaze to Elia’s lips, to the way she continued to stay where she was, nearly pinned between the wall and Kamryn, as lost in this moment as Kamryn was.

“I love you,” Kamryn repeated. “Please just trust me.”

Elia turned her cheek into Kamryn’s hand. The softness of her skin, the warmth, was everything in this moment. Kamryn smiled at it, at the way that Elia’s eyes fluttered closed briefly.

“Let me love you,” Kamryn whispered.

“I can’t stop you from loving me,” Elia said opening her eyes again. “I can’t stop you from doing anything that you set your mind to. Just like you can’t stop me.”

“Are you that determined to leave Windermere?”

Elia was shaking her head before she said the word. “No. Windermere’s my home.”

“Then stay. Fight.”

“I won’t be chained anymore.” Elia placed her free hand over Kamryn’s on her cheek, holding her tightly. “I won’t let them take my freedom from me again.”

“I won’t either.”

“It’s not you that I don’t trust, Kam. Don’t you understand that? It’s them. It’s the school board, Susy and Heather, and Yara.” Elia rested her shoulders fully against the wall now. “They won’t stop until they’ve made me leave the school.”

“But what if they do?” Kamryn asked, knowing far more about what was going on with that situation than Elia. She had to. Elia had to be kept out of it, because if she was in the middle, it’d make everything so much harder.

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. I’m so tired of those.” Elia’s tongue dashed across her lips, and she’d barely managed to drag her gaze away from Kamryn’s mouth.

Was she thinking about something else? Or was she still talking about the school board? Kamryn leaned in closer, her breath fluttering across Elia’s mouth. What she’d give to have all of these tensions relieved, not just the sexual ones, but the pain and heartache that the school was causing.

“I’m not letting you resign until your contract is up. I’ll withhold your pension and fine you if I have to.” Kamryn cringed. She hated herself for saying that. “I need you at Windermere. The kids need you.”

Elia jerked sharply, pushing Kamryn away. “You can’t do that.”

“I can, and I will.” Kamryn stepped away, a rigidity forming along her spine which she was struggling to not feel the pain from. The look of betrayal on Elia’s face was all she needed to know that she’d perhaps gone too far. But this was the only card that Kamryn had left. “You signed a contract, Elia. And if you break it, the consequences in it are very clear.”

Elia’s jaw dropped.

Kamryn pressed her lips together, her chest tightening from the ache. She reached up and rubbed her fist right in the center of it. She just needed more time to sort everything out. She hated that this was taking so long, that she was the one who seemed to be holding things up, but she didn’t want to walk into the next ethics meeting or the next board meeting without all of the information and all of the answers possible.

“I can’t believe you’d do this,” Elia accused. “I just want to leave.”

“And you’ll be able to. On July first, when your contract ends.” Kamryn shoved her hands into her jeans pockets and rocked up on her toes. She shrugged, playing everything so nonchalant, but inside she was a twisting fury of anger, hurt, and devastation. She hated this so much.

“Kam—”

“It’s just business, right?” Kamryn clenched her jaw, hardening her gaze. “I’m your boss, remember? I hold all of the power in this relationship.”

She couldn't stand there any longer. She couldn’t bring herself to hear Elia’s reaction.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Elia.” Without another word, Kamryn walked out of the bathroom. God, she hurt. Her muscles ached, but her heart was shattered. She nodded toward Greer when they made eye contact and then jerked her head toward the door.

Greer immediately said something to Abagail and then stood up. Kamryn didn’t wait for her. She walked out of the cafe and straight onto the street. The air was cold, biting almost. The next snowfall was due that night, and they’d likely need to bump up their departure time for the next Speech meet in order to give them enough time to get where they were going.

Again, she didn’t wait as she slid behind the wheel of her car. Greer jumped into the passenger seat, confusion written all over her. “What happened?”

Kamryn bit back her initial retort. She started the engine and then pulled out onto the street before she said anything. “We’re going back to Windermere.”

“Okay. But what happened, Kam? This is so unlike you.”

Shaking her head, Kamryn focused on the road in front of her. “I told Elia exactly what she didn’t want to hear.”

“Which is…?” Greer was entirely focused on Kamryn, and it was so unnerving. Her gaze was scolding.

“That she can’t break her contract without consequences. And that I love her.”

“You—what?” Greer squeaked. “What did she say?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Kamryn took a hard turn, faster than she probably should have, but the energy from the conversation in the bathroom still sizzled through her veins. She hadn’t managed to dissipate it.

“Wow.”

“I need to figure out what I’m going to say at the next ethics meeting.” Kamryn hit the main road toward Windermere and stepped on the gas. She was running out of time, and she couldn’t let any of it go to waste now.

“What will you say?”

“First I need to figure out who erased the files.” Kamryn pulled into Windermere and parked in her spot. She didn’t hesitate as she got out of her car and walked swiftly up to her apartment, Greer hot on her heels.

“Do you have any idea who might have done it?”

Kamryn shook her head. “I know Elia didn’t. But that doesn’t…” Kamryn stopped. A corner of a folder stuck out from under the edge of her door. She frowned at it and bent down, sliding it back out before standing back up.

“What’s that?” Greer asked, peering over Kamryn’s shoulder.

“No clue.” Kamryn flipped open the folder and bit her lip. It was Rylann’s confession, everything hand-written in bubble letters about how she’d lied about everything. “Holy shit.”

Kamryn slapped the folder shut and looked down the hallway both ways. Who’d slipped this under her door? There was no one there, and she’d been gone close to an hour. Anyone could have put it there in the meantime.

“Damn it,” Kamryn muttered. She unlocked her door and stepped inside, looking up and down the hallway one more time as if that would give her the answers she was looking for. But of course, it didn’t. She moved to the couch and immediately laid the folder out on the coffee table, pulling out all of the papers.

It was Elia’s personnel file. All of the missing parts of it. And it was the case file for the investigation that Kamryn hadn’t been able to find yet. She skimmed through each of the papers inside of them before going straight back to the beginning and reading everything word for word.

This would relieve all of the newly resurfaced accusations against Elia. Everything Kamryn had been told so far was true. Elia had maintained her innocence from day one, Rylann had lied. The other accusations that had followed Rylann’s disappeared with similar confessions of lies. And it all came down to Felicity.

This was exactly what Kamryn had needed.

But who the hell had it this whole time?

“I tore about the office and the storerooms looking for this.” Kamryn flipped it closed and sank into the couch. She rubbed circles into her temples before glancing at Greer. “Seriously, the number of hours I’ve spent looking for these files is astronomical and then they suddenly appear at my apartment?”

Greer shrugged. “My guess is that whoever erased them or took them in the first place dumped them off for you.”

“Yeah, that’d be my guess too.” Kamryn sighed heavily, a weight lifting from her chest. She hadn’t realized how awful it had felt for so long. She wanted to run to Elia and tell her everything, but after her threat at the cafe, Kamryn knew that’d be the worst idea ever. She’d basically thrown the biggest punch she could in Elia’s direction.

Running her fingers through her hair, Kamryn couldn’t tear her gaze away from the folder on the coffee table.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to figure out who left me this.” Kamryn snagged her phone from her back pocket and dialed a number immediately. It was after hours and she knew she’d be lucky to get hold of security now, but at least she’d be able to do the one thing that she knew she could tonight.

Track down the mystery person.

She was going to walk into the next ethics meeting with her head held high and with all the information she could throw at them. This was going to end immediately. Enough with the witch hunt. Elia deserved to stay at Windermere, and she deserved be able to teach without looking over her shoulder for the next item that was going to come up.

“But what are you going to do about Elia?”

“What about Elia?”

“You told her that you loved her.” Greer touched Kamryn’s knee. “You’ve never said that to anyone other than Lauren.”

“Yeah, I haven’t.” Kamryn frowned. “And right now, I’m pretty damn convinced that I’m not going to tell anyone that ever again. Screw love, Greer. It sucks.”

“It can’t be all bad.”

“No. It’s awful. Elia was wrong. Love is hard.”