Page 26 of Promises We Meant to Keep (Love in Massachusetts #1)

twenty-six

They walked in silence from Elia’s office toward her house. Everything in Elia’s head told her to stop this right here and right now, but she couldn’t. Abagail had been right. This was so hard, and she just wanted someone to believe her.

When they reached her house, Elia unlocked the door and let them in, dropping her things by the door before she nervously walked toward the kitchen. Tea would help, wouldn’t it? Anything to keep her hands busy.

She risked a glance up at Kamryn, who was so still and quiet, as she took off her jacket and tossed it onto the arm of the couch. Kamryn knew everything at this point. Elia had seen it in the haunted look in her eyes when she’d shown up at her office.

“I don’t know how you’ve kept this a secret for so long.” Kamryn’s voice was confident as she spoke, but it wasn’t loud or an accusation.

Elia clicked on the electric kettle and crossed her arms over her chest in a move of protection. She didn’t want to talk about this. She never wanted to talk about it. “It’s not a secret.”

Kamryn snorted, her lips twitching upward slightly. “Could have fooled me.”

She walked closer to Elia, staying at the edge of the open kitchen and not coming any closer. Was she afraid that Elia was going to try something? Was Kamryn afraid that it was all true?

“It’s not a secret, Kam. You weren’t here when it happened, but the entire school knew about it. The board knew about it. The local authorities knew about it. My name was in the news so many times that I lost count.” Elia leaned against the kitchen counter, still keeping her arms crossed. It took everything in her to look up into Kamryn’s eyes. “If you’d been here, you would have known just like everyone else.”

“And in eighteen years the school’s just, what…forgotten?”

Elia shrugged slightly. “It’s in my personnel file. It’s not forgotten. I’m required to have a co-leader for the Speech team. I can’t take on any new responsibilities without it being double checked by my direct supervisor. And I can’t move up into administration. No matter how many times I’ve applied for a new job, it comes up. I’m stuck here, Kam. I’ve never been able to escape it.”

“It’s not in your personnel file.”

“What?” Elia’s eyes widened. She stood up straight and put her hand out to her side. “What do you mean it’s not there?”

“Your personnel file is wiped clean. Not one single complaint since you started working at Windermere twenty-four years ago.” Kamryn crossed her arms now, the accusation in her words and her actions.

The cold rush of fear ran through Elia in an instant. Was she being accused of tampering with it?

“I walked into that ethics meeting knowing nothing, Elia. And you could have told me what I was walking into so many times over. Why wouldn’t you just tell me what happened?”

There were so many reasons. Elia took a deep breath, calming her racing heart. She needed to explain this clearly, and she needed to tell Kamryn everything. She couldn’t hold back any longer, even if Abagail wanted her to.

“Who erased my file?”

“Hell if I know, Elia. But I plan to find out, even if it was you. And let me make it clear, if it was, I’m not going to hold back.” Kamryn’s lips drew into a thin line.

“I would expect nothing less.” Elia snagged two mugs and set them on the counter. “What did they tell you?”

“Not a whole lot, honestly. I researched what I could after the meeting, and I have to say, Elia, these are dangerous waters you were swimming in.”

“I know.” Elia put the tea bags into the mugs and poured the boiling water over it to let the tea bags steep. “But you had to have also seen that it was ultimately decided the accusations were false.”

“They were,” Kamryn agreed. “But I want your side of the story. It’s the only one that’s missing for me right now.”

Elia ran her finger in a circle around the top of the mug. She was going to hate this. Taking the cup of tea she’d made for Kamryn, Elia walked over and handed it to her. Their fingers touched as Kamryn took it, and Elia stared down at where Kamryn’s fingers had slid against hers.

“Don’t hate me after this, please.” Elia didn’t look at her as she walked around the peninsula of the kitchen and walked directly to the couch. Kamryn was going to end this tonight, Elia knew that. Kamryn was going to hear her side of the story, and she was going to walk out and not look back. Everyone always did.

Kamryn settled next to her on the couch. But there was quite a bit of distance between them. Elia felt it in her heart. It was why she’d never managed to hold onto a relationship since then. How did she even begin to explain that she’d been accused of sexually harassing a minor when she was that minor’s teacher and that she wasn’t some monster.

Because everyone thought she was.

“Yara and I broke up. It was mutual, just the end to a slow petering out of a relationship.” Elia wrapped her hands around the mug, warming her skin from the cold walk home. “Everything was fine for a month. Heartbroken, but fine.”

She couldn’t believe she was even explaining this. It had been so long since she’d sat down with someone and run through exactly what happened. She curled her legs under her body and leaned into the corner of the couch.

“A month later, I was called into an emergency meeting with the ethics team, with the Head of School at the time—Jessup Watters—and no one else. They explained to me that there had been a formal complaint filed against me for sexual harassment by a student. They wouldn’t tell me who. Not then, anyway. I was on an immediately paid suspension while they investigated. I was forced to leave my apartment in the dormitories for the safety of the students, and then I just had to wait.” Elia sighed heavily.

“Where did you go?” Kamryn asked, her voice meeker than Elia expected it to be.

“I stayed with my friend, Abagail. She works human resources in Boston.” Elia took a sip of her tea, burning her lips, the roof of her mouth, and her tongue in the process. She stared down at the liquid, unable to truly look at Kamryn. She didn’t want to know the answers to the questions she refused to ask.

“I bet she was helpful during this situation.”

“In more ways than one,” Elia responded. “She also told me that I shouldn’t tell you what happened.” Elia frowned but glanced up at Kamryn then. “Because it’ll cause more of a conflict of interest for you.”

“And you’re not taking her advice?” Kamryn raised an eyebrow in Elia’s direction.

“No, I’m not. And I’m sure that I’ll regret this decision later.” She sighed and set her mug onto the coffee table. “When all was said and done, what was discovered was that Rylann made a false report. All charges were dropped, and I was allowed back onto the campus for the following semester. It took about six months for everything to be resolved.”

“What did she say you did?” Kamryn asked.

Elia’s cheeks heated. “She said that I made comments about how she was dressed, about how I liked the way she was dressed…” Elia slowed down, hating to say this out loud, but knowing that it was exactly what Kamryn was asking for. “…She said that I said sexual things to her, not asking her for sexual favors, but that I would say comments about other girl’s bodies and her own, comments about what they should do together while in the dorms.” Elia gulped. “She implied that there were emails exchanged between us, but those were never recovered or found.”

“Because they were deleted or because they don’t exist?” Kamryn asked.

“They don’t exist,” Elia confirmed. “Rylann was best friends with Heather and Felicity… Yara’s oldest daughter. What Rylann finally admitted was that when Yara and I broke up, Felicity was the one who was hurt the most, and she wanted me to pay for what she thought I’d done, which was hurt Felicity and hurt Yara.”

“So you were blamed for the breakup.”

“Yes. And I didn’t mind that Yara did that, especially with Felicity. I mean, if I needed to be blamed to make it easier for her, then by all means, blame me.”

“But you didn’t ask to be accused of sexual harassment over it.”

“No, that I didn’t.” Elia brushed her fingers through her hair. “I tried to find another job after that, but anytime I would get an interview, I wouldn’t be up for the job. No one wanted to hire me, not with my track record.”

“And that’s why you never applied to be Head of School when Jessup left.”

Elia nodded. “Yeah, exactly.”

“And now?”

“I thought it’d been long enough that maybe it wouldn’t matter.” Elia wrung her hands together. “I was wrong. The stigma, the accusations, all of it has followed me for the last eighteen years, and I’ve had enough, Kam. I’m not sure I want to fight it this time, and there will be even more questions now than there were before, because now they have a trend they can prove.”

“A trend?” Kamryn squinted.

“You.” Elia wasn’t sure she could say the words out loud, but she had to. “You were my former student, and now… Yara isn’t stupid, Kam. She knows there’s more going on between us. We dated for two years, she’s not oblivious. It’s why I held back on telling the board, and with all of this coming back up now, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I agree,” Kamryn responded. “Not only for your sake but for mine. I’m already tangled up in this enough without adding in that complication to the conversation.”

Elia frowned. She hated that she was the cause of all of this. It would have been so much better if she’d just stayed in her lane, if she hadn’t given in to wanting to know if there was more between them. “I’m so sorry, Kam.”

“For what, exactly?”

“For so much.” Elia stood up, that nervous energy shooting through her body in a way that she couldn’t avoid even if she wanted to. “For not telling you sooner, for even thinking that maybe enough time had passed and I might have a chance at a relationship with you, for tangling you up in a mess that I’ve never been able to divorce myself from.”

She roughly grabbed her tea and started back toward the kitchen, but Kamryn shot out a hand and stopped her. Elia froze. Her eyes locked on their fingers—touching—the tender grasp that Kamryn had on her. She shook her head when she looked directly into Kamryn’s eyes.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Elia whispered.

“Wouldn’t what?”

“Kam…” Elia couldn’t finish her thought.

Kamryn stood up, taking the mug from Elia’s fingers and setting it back down on the coffee table. She slid her arms around Elia’s shoulder and pulled her in.

A hug.

As simple as that. Elia stayed, lax, arms at her sides, in the safe embrace of Kamryn’s arms. She buried her face in Kamryn’s shoulder and sucked in a slow breath, becoming overwhelmed with Kamryn’s scent, with her strength, everything that Elia wanted and couldn’t have.

“Why are you still here?” Elia asked into Kamryn’s shoulder, unable to turn away. “Why haven’t you left yet?”

“I believe you,” Kamryn whispered, tightening her grasp. “Normally I wouldn’t be inclined to listen to your explanation, but everything you shared tonight lines up with what I found, aside from the lack of information in your personnel file. That’s an issue I’m going to deal with.” Kamryn pulled away slightly, her hand resting at the back of Elia’s neck and tilting her head up so they could look into each other eyes. “You asked me to believe the victim.”

“I didn’t ask you to believe me.” Elia couldn’t tear her gaze away. She needed to hear those words.

Kamryn moved her hand up and brushed her fingers across Elia’s cheeks, wiping the silent tears from her skin.

“You shouldn’t believe me.”

“Why not?”

Elia shivered. “Because anyone who has been assaulted should be believed the moment they step forward to say something.”

“You’re right. They should. They deserve that.” Kamryn nodded, wiping even more tears from Elia’s cheeks. “And you deserve to be believed, too. You did nothing wrong, and yet all those years later, you’re still bearing the brunt of someone else’s lie.”

“She was a hurting kid, Kam. Rylann’s home life wasn’t great, and school was a sanctuary for her. She didn’t know better than to lie.”

“Not every bad behavior needs to be excused.” Kamryn held Elia firmly. “Do you understand that?”

“Yes,” Elia whispered.

“You deserved better from everyone. And I’m going to make sure that the witch hunt against you ends here.” Kamryn gave her a sweet smile. “Whether or not our relationship continues, Elia, you deserve to walk into work every day with your head held high and to teach without feeling like you’re going to be thrown under the bus every two seconds.”

Elia let out a shuddering breath. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Kamryn, from the warmth in her eyes, the sincerity in everything she was saying. Taking a small step forward, Elia reached up and did the only thing she could think of.

She pressed their mouths together.