Page 31

CHAPTER 30

ARE YOU WITH ME, BABY?

CHUCK

Chuck woke first. He took a moment to enjoy the soft tickle of Tommy’s breathing against the back of his neck before rolling over to face his sleeping boyfriend.

His boyfriend who loved him.

Half of Tommy’s face was smashed into the pillow, his mouth slack, showing off the crooked line of his bottom teeth. With a smile, Chuck leaned over to kiss Tommy’s cheek.

Grumbling, Tommy freed a hand from under the covers and gently swatted at Chuck’s face.

“Fine,” Chuck said, laughing as he dodged Tommy’s hand. “No birthday kisses for you.”

That woke Tommy up. Brown eyes blinked blearily at him, and after a moment of confusion, he reached for Chuck. “Wait, come here,” he mumbled, rolling onto his back.

Chuck disentangled himself from the blankets and climbed up to straddle Tommy’s waist. Tommy stared up at him with the hazy morning softness that looked so good on a man.

“Happy birthday, T.”

Tommy brushed his fingers over Chuck’s bare hip bone. “Best birthday ever.”

“You ready for your swim?”

“Fuck no,” Tommy groaned, shaking his head. “Do I have to?”

Chuck laughed, bending down to press a quick kiss to Tommy’s lips. “None of that. Just think about how amazing it’ll feel when you’re done.”

Tommy sighed, his grip on Chuck tightening. “Have I told you that I love you?”

“Not today,” Chuck replied, kissing a wrinkle on Tommy’s cheek and pushing up from the bed. Tommy needed to eat breakfast soon if he wanted to avoid puking in the middle of his swim. That would put a real fucking damper on a guy’s birthday. “Get your ass up, T. It’s go time.”

* * *

Chuck gave one last shove with his foot against the dock before climbing up onto the pontoon boat. From his spot behind the wheel, Keaton slowly turned the boat around, the motor quietly gurgling in the late morning.

“Good luck, Tommy!” Sage yelled from where she sat on the dock.

“Don’t drown!” Maggie sat beside her, a well-worn, white trucker hat pulled down on her head.

Chuck sat on the padded bench across from Tommy, who was wearing his Speedo with his goggles gripped in his hands, his knees bouncing up and down as he stared blankly into the air in front of him.

Everyone else was at the dock. Most of them were already drinking beers in their swimsuits, lounging on towels or plastic deck chairs. Miguel had made delicious chilaquiles for the group that morning, complete with tortillas they’d brought from a local tortilleria in Charleston.

Chuck directed Keaton until they reached the marker he and Tommy had used the last time they’d attempted the swim. The pontoon idled about thirty yards from the shoreline, gently rocking up and down.

Chuck watched Tommy. It was clear that he was nervous. His jaw was tight as he adjusted the goggles on his face.

Chuck leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “Do you need a pep talk?”

“Yes, please.” The smile Tommy shot him was all relief.

Chuck laughed, rubbing his hands together. He’d given more pep talks than he could count in his career as a coach, from quick conversations before a race, to speaking to a locker room full of athletes who looked to him for guidance and direction.

This was different. This was a man who’d been transformed a million times over in the last two years. His life had been slowly dismantled, from his marriage and career to his identity, and now there he was, Tommy Littleton, a demi and bisexual man who was about to do a half-mile open water swim just because it was something he’d set out to accomplish.

“Tommy. This moment has become so much more than a silly little race to impress your boss. This is about you celebrating yourself. Remember Sage’s party last year?” When Tommy nodded, he went on. “I remember thinking that I wanted you to get your groove back. I wanted my friend back. But the man you’ve become is so much more than that. You’re my friend, the man I love, and the person I want to share the weight of the world with.

“So go swim. You worked your ass off to get here. Go swim for the guy who looked like a drowning raccoon that first day in the pool. Go swim for the man who walked away from his job because his boss was a homophobe and an asshole. This is you celebrating everything you’ve worked for. Your happiness. Your life.”

“That was one hell of a speech,” Keaton said loudly, clapping and whistling from the back of the boat.

Chuck only had eyes for Tommy.

“Shut the fuck up, Keats.” Tommy stood up, shaking out his legs and arms. Fuck he was handsome, all tan skin and muscles and hairy thighs. He snagged Chuck’s hands and pulled him to his feet. “I’ve got a man to kiss.”

Tommy’s skin was hot from the sun and he tasted like sunscreen. Chuck hummed as their tongues slid together, Tommy crowding against him as Chuck wrapped his arms around Tommy’s back.

“How did I get so lucky?” Tommy whispered as they broke apart.

Chuck pressed one more kiss to the corner of Tommy’s mouth. “Luck has nothing to do with it, T. We both worked for what we have together. You’ve shown up over and over again and loved me through it all. That’s not luck.” Chuck stepped back, gripped Tommy by the shoulders, and spun him until he faced the side of the boat. “Now stop loitering and get your ass in the water,” he commanded, giving Tommy’s lycra-covered butt a hard smack.

Tommy opened the low gate at the front of the boat, glancing back at Chuck with a grin before jumping into the water. When he resurfaced, he shot Chuck a thumbs up, and, with a final deep breath, put his head down and started swimming.

Chuck walked back to take the spot beside Keaton, making sure he could still keep an eye on Tommy as they started to move forward slowly. Keaton kept the boat about fifteen yards away, driving between Tommy and the open lake.

“You two are sickening,” Keaton said, adjusting his baseball cap.

Chuck laughed off the comment, more than used to Keaton’s snark. “Are you ready to talk about whatever is happening between you and Maggie?”

Keaton responded with a noncommittal grunt. Chuck saw his gaze turn to Tommy, who looked strong and steady as he moved through the water.

“His stroke looks good.”

Chuck nodded, unable to keep the amusement from his face.

“Good lord, man. Get your head out of the gutter! You know what I mean.”

Tommy’s stroke did look good. His elbows were high, his body rocking easily from side to side. His head stayed in the water as he turned to breathe. “He worked hard for this,” Chuck said with a fond smile. “He still swims with me in the mornings. Just comes along and does whatever I do.”

“He really loves you.”

Chuck turned to Keaton. “Yeah. He really does.”

When he looked back at the water, Tommy had drifted a bit off course. Chuck cupped his hands around his mouth. “T,” he shouted. “T! T!”

Tommy’s head popped up from the water, turning from side to side until he saw the boat. “What?” he shouted back.

“You’re good, T. Just going off course a bit.” Chuck pointed up to the distant flagpole. He could see Tommy’s breathing speeding up, his chest rising and falling at a frantic pace. Shit . “Hey. Deep breaths,” Chuck called out. “Tread water. You’ve got this. Five strokes and then check for the flagpole. You’re almost halfway there.”

Tommy seemed to relax, his breathing slowing. A big smile broke across his face. “I can’t believe you convinced me to do this!”

“You’re the one who asked me to train you!”

Tommy shook his head, treading water steadily. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty.”

Chuck laughed. “Shut up and swim.”

Tommy blew him a kiss, and after a deep breath, slid back under the surface. He found his rhythm quickly, stopping every four or five strokes to glance up at the flagpole. Minutes passed as Chuck watched him, filled with pride at how far Tommy had come.

It would have been easy for him to call the swim a loss after leaving his job. But Chuck knew Tommy, now better than ever, and he knew he needed to see this through. He needed to come out on the other end with the knowledge that he’d done the thing. Chuck had seen it over and over again with the athletes he coached—the first medal after coming back from an injury, the sweet relief of setting a new personal best after months of coming up short.

Tommy was almost to the dock. Chuck saw the grin on his face as he checked his marker one final time. His pace sped up—of course it did—as everyone started to cheer. Maggie bounced up and down while Sage whooped, her fist in the air. David and Darius were down on their knees pounding on the planks, their chants of “Tom-my, Tom-my” loud and bright in the midday heat.

As soon as the front of the boat nudged the piling Chuck jumped off, running to hover at the edge of the dock. “Come on, T! Come on, you got it.”

The cheers grew deafening when Tommy’s hand slapped down on the wood by Chuck’s feet. His face popped up from the water, his smile blinding, his wet chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

This is our family , Chuck thought as he, David, and Darius worked together to pull Tommy up and out of the water. We are surrounded by people who love us.

Tommy flopped down on his back, his whole body trembling. Everyone crowded around him, congratulating him with pats on his head and fist bumps Tommy barely managed to return. The smile on Tommy’s face was huge, showing off every single one of the laugh lines Chuck loved to trace with his fingers. Chuck knelt over him, helping him pull the goggles off even as his panting gasps turned to breathless laughs.

Chuck smiled. “You good down there, love?”

Tommy’s expression softened. “I like that.”

“Like what?”

“You, calling me ‘love.’” Tommy’s hand was cool against Chuck’s cheek.

Chuck leaned into the touch. “It’s who you are.”

“I did it, baby,” Tommy whispered, the words barely audible over the loud conversation around them.

Chuck leaned forward, pressing a slow kiss to Tommy’s mouth.

“Who wants cake?”

Rebecca was met with loud cheers as she pulled the fixings for strawberry shortcake from a cooler. Chuck walked over to help as they assembled the dessert: an open biscuit, homemade whipped cream, and juicy sliced strawberries. Once Chuck had made two, he carried them over to Tommy, who hadn’t moved from where he was sprawled on the sun-warmed wood.

Chuck set a plate on Tommy’s chest and sat down beside him.

“Strawberry shortcake?” Tommy’s eyes went wide. He dipped a finger in the whipped cream and brought it to his mouth, sucking it clean. “Fuck me, that’s good.”

Laughing, Chuck helped Tommy sit up. He would need to stretch after all of that effort, but it could wait for a little bit. Right now, Chuck couldn’t imagine anywhere else in the world he’d rather be. “Happy birthday, T.”

Tommy leaned over and kissed him, a soft meeting of their lips that tasted like sugar. When he pulled away, he looked at Chuck with the kind of adoration he’d only ever dreamed of seeing.

Tommy looked at Chuck like he loved him.

“I love you, baby,” Tommy said, like he could read his mind.

“I love you, too.”

The consensus was that the strawberry shortcake was the perfect dessert for a hot day. Drinks were passed around and someone had produced a speaker. The heat, music, and effortless conversion made for a perfect lake day.

Rebecca and Sage were the first to get in the water, followed by Wade, who’d brought his own inflatable tube to relax in. Keaton was still in his shirt and hat when something he said must have pissed Maggie off and she shoved him off the dock, but any further curiosity on Chuck’s part was interrupted when Stacy’s Mom came on.

“Who put this on?” Darius demanded, rolling his eyes from where he sat with Miguel and Richard.

Tommy climbed to his feet, still in nothing but his Speedo, his skin beginning to get the pink flush of too much sun. He was so handsome, free in his body and in himself, his smile vibrant as he reached for Chuck.

“It’s our song,” he said with a laugh, even though he knew it was silly for them to have a song, and even sillier that their song was one about a teenage boy crushing on his friend’s mom. But it didn’t matter, not when it was something special and precious and theirs . “Dance with me?”

Chuck took Tommy’s offered hand, laughing as Tommy pulled him in close. Their bare chests brushed, sweat from the midday heat dampening their skin. Chuck draped his arms around Tommy’s broad shoulders, and started to sing along.

Everything else fell away until all that was left was the sun and Tommy and the strong, steady beat of his heart in his chest.

“Are you with me, baby?”

Chuck blinked down at Tommy, and smoothed away the furrow of concern between his brows. “Yeah, love. I’m with you.”

Chuck was struck by how full he felt at that moment. Not only full of the good, but also the parts of himself that had always been harder to love, the parts that were always there, interwoven with the rest. The joy and the sadness. The dark and the light. Chuck had never been so content to be exactly who he was.

Tommy loved all of him, just as Chuck had grown to love every single part of the man who held him.

Their love was too vast to stay bottled up, too great to be hidden away from the world.

And when Tommy kissed him, Chuck’s eyes drifted shut and he let go.