Page 28

CHAPTER 27

LIKE HOME

TOMMY

“It’s too hot for this.”

“Teaching is turning you into a softy, Darius,” David called from where he was stretching on the baseline of the outdoor basketball court at Corrine Jones Park.

Tommy chuckled. He stood on the sideline with a wide-eyed Jordan, and Monty, one of David’s ex-players who had graduated that spring. He was long and lanky, with ankles so skinny Tommy wasn’t sure how he’d survived a college athletic career without breaking them. His hair was shaved on the sides and a knot of dreadlocks with bleached tips perched on top of his head.

“I still can’t get used to the fucking men’s ball.” Sage chased down her rebound before pulling up from the three-point line and launching a shot with an exaggerated amount of force. When it went in, she threw her hands up and rolled her eyes. “That’s great. Just great.” Putting her hands on her hips, she looked around at their assembled group of six. “Alright, what are the teams?”

After five minutes of bickering, they decided on the old guys vs. the young guys and Sage. Tommy shook out his legs, working through a few last-minute hip-flexor stretches as he lined up to play defense on Monty.

The younger man grinned at him. “I’ve heard all about you, Mr. Littleton.”

Tommy snorted. “Call me Tommy, please.”

Monty shrugged. “Just trying to show some respect to a legend.”

“Kissing ass isn’t going to make me go easy on you,” Tommy said, and then the ball was in play.

The game was fast and loose, with lots of teasing and exaggerated fouls. Jordan dropped a dunk at one point, which sent all of the older guys into a frenzy of shouting and whooping. Even though it had been years since Tommy had spent seemingly endless hours on the court with David and Darius, he still remembered little quirks about their style of play. He knew David was going to hit the shoulder shimmy move that looked ridiculous but always seemed to work at the top of the key, just like he knew Darius was going to pull a hard fake to the middle before leveraging his big body to make a clean drop step.

Tommy fell easily into his role as the pain in the ass on defense, making sure the ball got into the hands of his teammates, who were much better at scoring. Even when David shouted at him to, “Shoot the damn ball, T,” Tommy dished it to Darius, who managed to get position on Jordan and shoot an easy baby hook.

They played first team to twenty-one, and the old guys had to accept defeat when Jordan hit a few threes back to back. The second game was close, but Monty hit a layup to secure the win. They were all so tired and hot that the third game was a sloppy, silly blow-out, with the younger legs prevailing as they ran circles around the older three.

Tommy collapsed on a metal bench, grateful for the shade of the large trees in the park. The early August heat was brutal, made worse by the humidity as heavy clouds hung low in the sky. It was probably going to rain later; Tommy made a mental note to text Chuck to make sure he tossed the cover on the grill.

“When do you start the new job?” Darius asked, mopping his sweaty forehead with his discarded t-shirt.

“Tomorrow,” Tommy said, retrieving his water bottle and draining it.

After receiving a number of job offers from different local companies, Tommy had decided to take a job as an area manager for Magnolia Roasters. The coffee shop they frequented was one of three brick-and-mortar stores in addition to their larger production facility, and they sold their bulk coffee to a number of local and regional establishments. Tommy liked the owners, a young couple who were looking for managerial support as they juggled life with their three children.

When he’d shown up at their headquarters, which was upstairs in the warehouse where they roasted the coffee, he’d been relieved to see a rainbow flag decal on the front door. After what he’d experienced with Rick, he wanted to make sure his next workplace was more openly accepting of him as a queer man.

While it was a bit of a pay cut, Tommy was excited about the job. He liked that it was a small, family-owned business, and from speaking to a few employees, it seemed like the majority of them liked working there.

David sat down beside him. “I’m really happy for you, T.”

“Thanks, Hughes.”

“Same time next week?” Monty called out from the other side of the court.

“We’ll be ready for you next time,” David called back.

“In your dreams, old man,” Sage said from where she was still shooting.

Tommy braced his hands on his knees, which cracked as he stood up. “I’m heading home,” he said, fist bumping David and Darius. Sage ran over and gave him a sweaty hug.

“Say hi to Chuck for us,” David said, smiling lazily up at him.

“Will do.”

Tommy shuffled over to his car, already stiff from playing. He was in great shape from all the swimming he was doing with Chuck, but he could already tell that he was going to be sore. Maybe he could convince Chuck to take a shower with him when he got home …

With that thought, Tommy headed home. Well, to Chuck’s house , he corrected himself.

The truth was, wherever Chuck was felt like home.

* * *

“Thomas! Perfect timing, darling. Everyone is here for lunch.” His mom raised her voice. “Say hi to Thomas, everyone!”

There was a loud chorus of greetings from his family. He smiled down at the screen, at his mom with her round, pretty features and her short pixie cut, and his dad craning his neck from behind her with his glasses slipping down his nose. He could barely make out the faces of his siblings behind them, although the constant movement of the kids in the background made it hard to focus on any one thing.

“I’m putting the volume all the way up,” his mom went on. “So what’s new down in Charleston? You look tan, dear. You said you had some news for us.”

Tommy sighed, staring up at the heavy clouds in the sky. He’d decided to go out to Chuck’s backyard for this video call, but it looked like it might rain at any moment.

He also hadn’t planned on his entire fucking family being present for this conversation. It wasn’t like he had anything to hide, but he’d hoped to share the news with his parents first. Oh well .

“So, I got a new job.”

That was met with a round of congratulations and it’s about damn time . “Oh honey, that’s wonderful,” his mom said, her voice louder than the rest as she beamed at him. “What is it?”

He told them all about his new position, and how excited he was for the shorter hours and the chance to work with a smaller, local business.

“And I’m seeing someone,” he added.

“Thomas! Tell us all about her!”

Tommy took a deep breath. He had an idea of how this conversation was going to go based on years of watching his parents out in the world and listening to their conversations. He hoped he had nothing to worry about, but even so, it was something else entirely to open his mouth and say the words.

“So, I’m dating a man. Chuck, actually.”

His mom’s face was still for only a split second before it melted into the kind of love-filled expression that always accompanied her hugs. Her smile was wide as she shouted, “Dan, did you hear that? Our two favorite boys are in love! Tell me you’re in love, Thomas. Oh, I’m so happy for you. Chuck’s the sweetest.”

“He really is, isn’t he?” A relieved laugh slipped from him as loud wolf-whistles sounded in the background. “I mean, we haven’t said it yet, but of course I love him.”

“We’re happy for you, Tommy,” his dad said with an affirmative nod. “Chuck is a good man.”

“Thanks, guys.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “And you’re okay? With me being with a man?”

“Thomas, we love you. As your parents, all we want for you is happiness and fulfillment. If being in a relationship with Chuck is what you want, then we will support you every step of the way.” His mom’s voice broke, and he watched as she wiped at her eyes. His dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her face. He watched his mom lean into the embrace. “Bring him home for Christmas this year, understood?”

“We’ll have to see how Chuck’s schedule is with the swim season, but I’ll do my best.” The first droplets of rain began to fall, picking up speed within a matter of seconds. “It’s just started raining here, so I’m going to run,” he said, standing up and jogging toward the back door. “I love you guys. Thank you for being so accepting of me. For everything, really.”

“We love you,” his mom repeated, blowing him a kiss. “Everyone, tell Thomas that you love him!”

Tommy hung up to the loud outpouring of love from his family, slipping quickly through the sliding door to keep the rain out of the house.

“How did it go?”

Tommy glanced up, finding Chuck standing in the kitchen in a loose pair of sweats and one of those cut off t-shirts he’d taken to wearing. Tommy stared at the exposed strip of skin, at the jut of his hip bones and the sloped V that disappeared under the low waistband.

“T.”

He looked up, grinning at Chuck. “You are so beautiful, I can’t help it if my brain gets scrambled sometimes.”

Chuck let out a soft chuckle. “I asked how the phone call went.”

Tommy closed the distance between them, gripping Chuck by the hips and pulling him close. “It was good. Really good.”

“I’m happy for you.”

Tommy looked at Chuck, really looked at him, and saw the unmistakable strain in his smile and the tightness around his eyes. Baby, Tommy thought, and grabbed one of Chuck’s hands, immediately noticing the chipped blue polish.

“I want to try something,” Tommy said, pulling Chuck forward and leading him into the living room. “You sit, get cozy, and I’ll be right back.”

* * *

“You don’t have to do this.”

Tommy looked up at Chuck from where he perched on the edge of the coffee table. One of Chuck’s hands was splayed out on his thigh, and beside him was the basket where Chuck kept his nail polish and other supplies. “I want to try,” Tommy said, scrubbing away the last of the polish from Chuck’s pinky nail. “What color do you want?”

Chuck’s expression was one of fond amusement as he reached over and grabbed a bottle from the basket. “This one.”

It was a dark blue, like a new pair of jeans that had never been washed.

Tommy shook the bottle, unscrewed the lid, and carefully wiped away the excess polish. Taking a deep breath, he gently turned Chuck’s hand so that his thumb was facing up.

“You look scared,” Chuck said with a quiet laugh.

Tommy glared at him. “I want to do a good job!”

Chuck pressed his lips together like he was trying to contain his amusement.

The first brush of polish went straight down the middle of the nail. The second one wiggled a bit at the end, a smudge of blue darkening the skin next to his nail. Tommy focused, trying to steady his hand, but somehow managed to get only half of the polish on the nail itself, while the other half ran the length of his cuticle.

“Damn it,” he muttered, grabbing a cotton swab and trying to clean up his work before the polish started to dry.

“Tommy, you really don’t have to?—”

“I watched tutorials and everything!” Tommy sat back, frowning at the sloppy job he had done. It looked like a five year old had been turned loose on Chuck’s thumb with blue finger paint. He looked up at his boyfriend. “This went differently in my head.”

Chuck’s smile was fond. “Keep going.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It takes practice to get good at painting nails, just like everything else.”

Tommy kissed the soft, freckled skin on the back of Chuck’s hand. “You know that you’re my favorite, right?”

When he sat up and resumed his attempt to paint his boyfriend’s nails, he felt Chuck watching him.

“You okay?” Tommy asked.

Chuck nodded. “Tell me about the call with your parents. Earlier I…I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I’m so, so happy it went well.”

Tommy felt overwhelmed with love for Chuck, who was letting him paint his nails, even though Tommy was making a mess of Chuck’s beautiful hands. So Tommy told him about coming out, about his mom’s emotion and his dad’s approval.

“Honestly, I think they were just excited that I’m dating you,” Tommy said with a laugh. “You should have seen my mom’s face when she heard.”

Chuck reached out with his free hand and pushed a piece of Tommy’s hair back from his face. “I’m glad that it’s me,” he said softly.

“Me too, baby.” Tommy sat back and surveyed his work, shaking his head. “Oh shit! I almost forgot to tell you.”

Chuck visibly stiffened. “Tell me what?”

“I’m demi.”

Chuck looked at him blankly.

“You know, demisexual. I have to know someone and feel an emotional connection before attraction comes along.”

A smile slowly spread over Chuck’s face. “Of course you are,” he said, his expression fond and understanding. “How does it feel?”

“Being demi? I mean, a lot of things make sense now.” Tommy frowned at Chuck’s hand. “Are you sure you want me to do the other one?”

Chuck’s laugh was loud enough to startle a meow from Angel, who had been curled up asleep on top of the couch. “It’s the thought that counts, T.” He slapped his unpainted hand down on Tommy’s thigh. “Now finish me up and make me match.”

* * *

Tommy was riding high as he climbed into his car at the end of the day.

His first day with Magnolia Roasters had been a whirlwind of getting up to speed on their systems and locations, meeting their store managers and the roasting manager, and taking notes as he listened to the owners talk about where they envisioned Tommy fitting into their operation. He got to dress more casually, and he hadn’t realized how uncomfortable suits and starched shirts were until he got to spend the work day in a nice pair of jeans and a polo shirt.

His office was on the upper floor of the warehouse where they did the roasting. It was a simple space, but it had two large windows that let in plenty of sunlight. It was also never fully quiet, which he appreciated—the whir of the beans in the large roaster combined with the muffled shouts back and forth between the workers provided the perfect background noise for his office work. The ubiquitous smell of freshly roasted coffee was something he didn’t think he’d ever tire of.

His goodbye party at Venture Car Rentals had been both rowdy and emotional, with everyone he’d worked with over the years coming out to wish him good luck. From tequila shots with his managers to the car washers at the West Ashley branch surprising him with a handmade “Lifetime Car Wash Pass,” the night had been the perfect send-off.

It had all felt a little easier with Chuck pressed close against him, their intertwined fingers lending Tommy the strength he needed to close out that chapter of his life. He hadn’t been prepared for the stories about how he had shaped his employees’ careers, or how his guidance had helped them overcome things that were standing in their way. Tommy had always taken pride in being a good man to work for, but it was something else altogether to hear he had actually helped people in a meaningful, lasting way. He’d pulled his branch manager Sarah aside, encouraging her to put her name in for his job. She was good, she was smart, and she was ready.

Deb had shown up with Mei Lin, and she’d given him a very stiff hug and a promise to call and bother him at all hours of the day. He returned her hug, and told both women he hoped they’d be able to achieve their dream of starting a family together.

It was a weird feeling, closing the door on what had been such a large part of his life for so long. When his personal life had fractured, his career had started to take up more time and space until it dominated Tommy’s waking hours.

But there were so many good things in his life now, and he looked forward to having more freedom to explore them. He had a beautiful partner, and a new career that would allow him to be more present in the other areas of his life.

His phone rang loudly through his car's bluetooth. Without looking at the Caller ID, he answered. “This is Tommy.”

“Hey Tommy.”

Tommy stiffened, glancing down at the display as he slowed at a four way stop. “Hey Court,” he said, unable to keep the confusion from his voice. He hadn’t talked to his ex-wife in over a year; the last time was when they’d met up to give the realtor the keys to their old house before she moved to Boston. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry to bother you.”

“It’s okay,” Tommy replied, still thrown off-kilter. “What’s up?”

“My mom asked about your updated address. She wants to send you a birthday card.”

Tommy let out a quiet laugh. His birthday was coming up, in early August. Martha, his ex-mother-in-law, was effusive with her love, and had always sent Tommy some sort of clever card for his birthday. He wasn’t surprised that she wanted to send him a card even though he was no longer married to her daughter.

Tommy rattled off his new address, realizing he was going to need to start going back there more frequently to check the mail. He’d been spending so much time at Chuck’s that he’d largely stopped stocking the fridge with anything beyond the long-lasting essentials.

“How have you been?”

Tommy felt himself smile. “Really good. You?”

It was quiet for a moment before Courtney responded. “Also really good. I love the outpatient facility where I’m working, and I started seeing someone recently.” She ended the sentence on a question, like she wasn’t completely sure if she should be sharing that with him.

“That’s great, Court,” Tommy said, and he realized that he was truly happy for her. He thought of the way it felt to be with Chuck, and hoped she had found someone who brought her the kind of contentment he had found. “I’m seeing someone too.”

“Oh yeah? Who is she?”

“He,” Tommy corrected. He waited, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “I’m dating a man.”

“Oh.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Is this, when did—sorry, this is just…I’m surprised.”

“It’s all happened in the last few months, and it’s still new, but everything just feels good and right with him.”

“Did you know,” she asked, her voice going quiet. “When we were together?”

Tommy shook his head. “No. I had no idea. Being bisexual never crossed my mind, not until…until Chuck.”

“Oh, Tommy,” she said softly. “It’s Chuck?”

“Yeah. It’s Chuck.”

“Are you happy?”

Emotion tightened his throat. “So happy, Court.” He wiped a hand over his eyes as he turned onto Chuck’s quiet, residential street. “Are you happy?”

He could hear the smile in her voice. “I’m really happy, Tommy.”

He slowed to pull into Chuck’s driveway. “I’ve got to run, Court, but thanks for calling. I’m glad to hear you’re doing well.”

“You too,” she responded. “Take care.”

Tommy sat in the silence after he hung up. He really was glad to hear that Courtney was doing well. He wished her nothing but the best, and the truth was that his marriage was something that was finished. Done.

He grabbed his backpack from the backseat and jogged up the steps. He used his spare key to unlock the front door. “I’m home,” he called out as he pushed into the living room.

“In here!”

Tommy took off his shoes, dropped his backpack on the couch, and then stripped off his polo, revealing his sleeveless undershirt. He padded into the kitchen, following the soft sound of Chuck’s singing and the delicious smell of something roasting.

“Smells good,” Tommy said, sliding up beside Chuck and wrapping an arm around his middle. “What are you making?”

Chuck dropped a kiss onto Tommy’s forehead while stirring a pot on the stove. “Mashed potatoes, rosemary and lemon baked chicken, and a mushroom risotto.”

Tommy groaned. “Sounds incredible.”

“I wanted it to be done before you got home, but you’re early.” Chuck shot him a teasingly annoyed look. “How was your first day?”

Tommy leaned into Chuck’s side, hooking his thumb into the elastic waist of Chuck’s nylon running shorts. “Different, but really good. The people are great.”

“That’s what’s important to you, right? Working with good people?”

“You know me too well.”

Chuck grinned at him. “I try.”

“So, Courtney called me while I was driving home.” Tommy saw Chuck’s expression shift, something that looked like hurt tightening in his eyes. “Hey. Baby,” Tommy said, pulling Chuck’s hand until he turned to face him. “My marriage is over. I’ve moved on, and so has she. I’m here with you because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Chuck nodded, his shoulders slumping forward. “I know, T, I just… You had a whole life with someone, a life that you thought was going to last forever. It’s a lot to compete with.”

“You aren’t competing with anything.” Tommy reached up, cupping Chuck’s jaw in his hand, admiring the rasp of stubble and the square, masculine structure of his face. “Yes, I was married. Yes, I loved Courtney and was happy with her. But people change, Chuck. You’ve helped me understand that. I’m not the man I was then, just like you aren’t the same guy I met in college.” Tommy paused to appreciate the blue of Chuck’s eyes and the soft slope of his upper lip. “Our romantic relationship may be new, but it’s built on a foundation that has grown over years and years of friendship. There’s a reason I came to your house when my marriage ended. There’s a reason I kept inviting myself over, why I kept finding myself on your couch. There must have been a part of me that knew, even subconsciously, being with you was what I’d been missing. That you were the one I was supposed to end up with.”

Tears filled Chuck’s eyes. He let out a wet laugh and ran the back of his hand over his nose.

“Why do you say the most beautiful things?”

“Because they’re true,” Tommy said, rising up on his toes to press a soft kiss to the corner of Chuck’s mouth. “Now, how can I help with dinner?”

“You can’t.” Chuck shot him a smile, all of the stress and hurt gone from his eyes. “Go relax, and dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

“What if I want to stay here and hang out with you?”

“Fine, but you have to go sit at the bar,” Chuck said, pointing with a long wooden spoon. “Stop distracting me with your fucking hot shoulders in that undershirt.”

Chuck set the table with candles, a vase full of the colorful zinnias from his backyard sitting in the center. The food tasted even better than it smelled, and Tommy happily tangled his feet with Chuck’s under the table as they ate.

“Thank you for this,” Tommy said as they worked together to clean the kitchen.

“Of course, T. Today was worth celebrating.”

Tommy snagged Chuck’s hips as he put the last of the leftovers into the fridge. Tugging him close, he kissed the back of Chuck’s neck, taking a deep breath of his now-familiar scent. “You are wonderful,” he said softly. “Want to join me in the shower?”

Chuck turned around in Tommy’s arms and kissed him hard, his mouth hot and demanding. Tommy felt the kiss all the way down to his toes, letting out a needy groan as he responded in kind.

“Baby,” Tommy breathed as they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together. “Tell me what you want tonight. Whatever you want, it’s yours. Want me to wash your body for you and then hold you while we fall asleep? It’s done. Want me to get on my knees and swallow your dick? It’s done. Want me to eat your ass until you can’t remember your name? I’m your man.”

Chuck’s breaths came out in hot little gasps, his hands tightening as they gripped Tommy’s upper arms. “The second one, T. Need your mouth on me.”

He kissed Chuck one more time, sighing into the heady warmth of his mouth. He would never get tired of this—of kissing Chuck, of wanting and having him.

Tommy had followed Chuck’s lead in the month since the Fourth of July. Chuck had explained that his desire for physical intimacy would likely be infrequent as he waded through the different medications. Some of the science behind what Chuck was going through went over his head, but Tommy trusted him to tell him what he wanted and needed.

Of course he missed sex. Being with Chuck had sent his libido into overdrive; little things like seeing his long legs and his lean muscles and red hair, or waking up to his sleepy blue eyes and wild bed head, had begun to leave Tommy hard and wanting. But he was happy to put all of that aside for as long as Chuck needed.

There had been more of Tommy jacking off while Chuck watched, and a lot of long and lazy make-outs in Chuck’s bed at the end of the day.

When they reached the en-suite bathroom, Tommy put a hand up to stop Chuck’s hands where they’d started to lift the hem of his shirt. “Are you sure?”

Chuck’s expression softened. “I’m sure, T. I would tell you if I wasn’t.”

Tommy kissed him then, as if his lips could tell Chuck everything he couldn’t yet put into words. Together, they stripped their clothes away, taking the time to appreciate each new bit of revealed skin while the shower warmed up.

And when Chuck came down Tommy’s throat with a shuddering sigh, Tommy wasn’t thinking about the hard tile under his knees or catching his breath.

He was staring at the man above him, realizing that loving him was the easiest thing he’d ever done.