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CHAPTER 29

SWIM FAR AND DON’T DROWN

TOMMY

“Charles.”

Tommy heard Chuck’s quiet laugh on his left, barely audible over the crunch of tires beneath them and the music that filled the car. “Yes, Thomas?”

Tommy stretched his legs out as much as he could in the passenger seat of Chuck’s car. “Where are we going?”

“Patience.”

Huffing, Tommy leaned his head against the hot glass of the window. The bandana Chuck had tied around his eyes was soft, and tight enough that even when he opened his eyes all he could see was a faint glow.

“At least I get to hear you sing,” Tommy admitted. Chuck had been singing along with every song that had come on whatever playlist he had queued up. It was a bunch of Indie rock from when they were in college, and while Tommy couldn’t name most of the artists, he recognized a lot of the songs.

It was quiet for a second. “You like it when I sing?”

Tommy scoffed. “Baby, you have the voice of a literal angel. A hot, half-naked Renaissance angel. Of course I love it when you sing.”

“A half-naked Renaissance angel?”

“Yeah, you know, the ones with cloth draped over their dicks and long legs who play their slutty little harps in the sky.”

Chuck’s laugh was loud and bright, a reminder of how much better he seemed to be doing. Maybe it was the switch he had made to his old medication two weeks ago, or maybe it was the fact that they’d finally liberated him from Leonard’s obnoxious scratching at all hours. Whatever it was, Chuck seemed better, like an invisible weight that had rested on his shoulders was gradually disappearing.

Life had fallen into a comfortable pattern. Sunday mornings were spent at the beach, checking in with each other about how they were doing, about what was working and what wasn’t. One week, Chuck had told him he needed more verbal reminders that Tommy found him physically desirable. Tommy had asked about sleeping over more, to which Chuck confessed he wanted to maintain a little bit of space between them as he continued to stabilize his mental health. Last week, Tommy had told Chuck that, while he was happy to follow Chuck’s lead on sex, he wanted to know more about where Chuck’s head was at on the topic.

There were moments of discomfort in those conversations, moments where Tommy’s gut tightened and fear stole his breath away. But every time, without fail, they waded through the painful bits together. And with every solution they found, every compromise they settled on, he fell a little bit deeper in love with Chuck.

Chuck started singing again, his voice smooth and clear as he hit a high note that Tommy couldn’t imagine reaching. He was happy and content. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know where they were going. He was in Chuck’s hands, and he trusted him. That was enough.

The vehicle slowed down, veering slowly to the right until they came to a stop. The car went quiet. He heard the driver’s door open, and then a wall of warm air hit his skin as his door was opened next.

A soft hand guided him out of the car. “Follow me,” Chuck said, his voice close and gentle.

Tommy followed obediently, shuffling his feet to avoid falling. Luckily, Chuck was looking out for him, and talked him through climbing a few steps.

“Ready?”

Tommy nodded. “My eyelids are sweaty.”

Chuck huffed a laugh as Tommy felt fingers working the knot in the bandana loose.

It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust, to take in the solid wood door in front of him. He turned from side to side, immediately clocking the familiar landmarks of the Lake Murray house.

Shocked and confused, he turned to look at Chuck. “What the fuck are we doing out here?”

Chuck’s grin was almost bashful. “You’ve got an open water swim to do, T.”

“What?”

Just then the front door flew open, and a whole slew of voices shouted “Surprise!”

Tommy gaped when he saw David, Darius, Rebecca, Wade Johnson, Miguel, Keaton, and an older man with salt and pepper hair standing beside them, all wearing party hats that were so small they looked comical. Sage and Maggie stood up on the couch behind them, holding an obviously handmade sign that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN! SWIM FAR AND DON’T DROWN” in messy blue paint.

He turned back to Chuck. “Baby,” he breathed, reaching for him and tugging him into his arms. “Did you do this?”

Chuck’s cheeks were tinged pink beneath his freckles as he looked at Tommy with a hint of uncertainty in his blue eyes. “Do you like it?”

Tommy struggled to wrap his head around it all. “And you had everyone come out here?”

“Of course I did. I know how you like to put on a show.”

Tommy’s heart felt so light he thought it might lift right out of his chest. He laughed, placing a soft kiss on Chuck's chin. “Thank you,” he whispered, before turning back to the group. “I can’t believe you all showed up for this.”

“I’m only here because I heard you were gonna be wearin’ a Speedo,” Maggie called out, wriggling her eyebrows. Her hair, now dyed blue, was pulled up into two buns high on her head.

“No one wants to see that.” Keaton’s face twisted into a scowl.

David held up his hands. “Come on, people. This is Tommy’s big moment, and we’re all going to be supportive and nice about it.”

“He does look good in a Speedo,” Chuck said, which sent the whole group into a cacophony of groans and laughter and teasing.

Tommy followed everyone into the living room, keeping one arm wrapped around Chuck’s middle the whole time. He was introduced to the older man, Miguel’s husband, Richard, and conferred with Chuck and Keaton to make sure all of the first-time visitors had been given a tour and assigned rooms.

Dinner that night was served on the porch: ribs and chicken thighs grilled by Rebecca, potato salad and coleslaw from David, “Mostly Sage’s work,” he had explained, deviled eggs made by Maggie, a Cobb salad brought by Wade Johnson, and some delicious empanadas made by Miguel and Richard. It was loud; conversations were interrupted by requests to pass more ribs, and it was all accompanied by the typical teasing, laughter, and love Tommy associated with this group. With this family .

Keaton’s grandmother’s health wasn’t improving, and Keaton told Tommy she was going to spend some time at their family’s cabin in the Appalachians between radiation treatments. Keaton planned to take some time off from work to be there with her.

“We have some news,” Rebecca said loudly. The table went quiet. “We’re going to start trying to have a baby.”

The porch erupted in cheers. David, who sat beside Darius, planted a kiss on his friend’s cheek. “You guys are going to be the best parents a kid could ask for,” he said, a huge smile on his face.

Darius looked softly at Rebecca. “We’re excited.”

“But no putting the cart before the horse,” Rebecca added, looking around the table. “We know it will probably take time, but we wanted to share the news with you all.”

The conversation then turned to kids and their respective families. Tommy hadn’t known that Maggie had two younger siblings in their early twenties who still lived at home with her mother in western Georgia. “Things are tough for them. I send cash every month to help out, but they’re stuck in a shit situation,” she confessed, like she wasn’t sure how the group was going to react to that.

Tommy noticed Keaton watching her with a frown on his face.

“If you ever need help, you let us know, okay?” Sage said, reaching across the table to squeeze Maggie’s hand.

Maggie nodded in response.

“Where’s Arabelle this weekend?” Miguel asked Wade Johnson, at the other end of the table.

“Arabelle?” Tommy asked.

Wade shot him a tight smile. “My daughter.” Turning back to Miguel, he sighed. “She’s with her mom. We trade weekends right now, although the schedule gets tricky when the season starts up.”

Miguel squeezed his broad shoulder. “You know that girl adores you, right?”

“I hope so,” he shrugged. “Feels like I’ve got a lot to make up for.”

“What matters is that you’re showing up for her,” Miguel said.

“A toast!” Darius’ loud voice called out over the chatter. “To T, to friends, to family, and to dreams coming true!”

Tommy whooped, squeezing Chuck’s thigh with his free hand under the table. Chuck turned, his blue eyes clear and twinkling in the evening light. “To you,” he said softly, clinking his glass against Tommy’s beer.

“And to you,” Tommy replied, knocking his bottle against Chuck’s glass.

Everything around them grew distant and unfocused as they kissed, their tongues sliding together lazily, as if they both knew they had nothing but time.

The decision was made as they cleaned the kitchen: Tommy would do his swim around 11:00 am, allowing them all to sleep in and lounge in the morning. “That way you can eat a good breakfast and have plenty of time to digest,” Chuck said, as he slid a Tupperware of leftovers into the fridge.

As soon as the kitchen was clean, Tommy’s attention was elsewhere. He only had eyes for Chuck, who smiled at something David was saying. Chuck, who wore those cut-off jeans like they were painted onto him, whose peach skin had more freckles mapped over the surface than when they’d first started swimming together months ago.

Chuck, who was beautiful. Chuck, who was his .

Chuck must have felt him staring, because he glanced over and grinned knowingly. A second later he was walking away from David, closing the space between himself and Tommy until their t-shirts brushed together. Tommy’s breath caught in his chest as he felt Chuck’s breath against his ear. “Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered.

Tommy nodded.

He followed Chuck up the stairs, dizzy with want while a pressure pushed on his ribcage from the inside. They went to Chuck’s room— their room, now—and Tommy closed the door behind them.

Tommy leaned against the door, eyes raking up and down Chuck’s body where he sat on the edge of the bed. “Tell me how you’re feeling tonight,” Tommy said, his voice breathless. “About sex.”

Chuck wet his lower lip. “I want it,” he said, meeting Tommy’s gaze. “I want you to fuck me. I…We need to go slow, to get me out of my head. Just…go slow, okay?”

There was vulnerability in Chuck’s eyes as he looked up at him. Tommy couldn’t stand to be so far away from him anymore, not when Chuck so clearly needed reassurance that what he was asking for was okay.

Tommy crossed the room, stopping when he reached the edge of the bed, and cupped Chuck’s smooth-shaved jaw. “I’ve got you, baby,” Tommy promised.

Tommy pulled off his shirt and dropped it to the floor. Chuck’s shirt followed. Then Tommy’s belt, and Chuck’s shorts.

Tommy’s breath caught in his throat. “Baby,” he rasped, unable to look away from the breathtaking sight of Chuck’s dick cupped in white fabric, and the thick elastic band low on his hips.

Chuck’s smile turned wicked as he flopped backwards onto the bed. “Like it?”

There were no words to describe it. Tommy stared, refusing to rush his appreciation of the beautiful man before him.

The white jock was indecent, really, the white cotton thin enough that every single detail of Chuck’s body was on display. His thighs were spread, the thin red hairs catching the low lamplight. Tommy wanted to lick him, starting at the high arches of his feet, and work his way up until there wasn’t a single part of Chuck’s body he hadn’t tasted.

Tommy pressed the heel of his hand into his hard cock, letting out a tortured groan. “You are beautiful. So fucking beautiful it makes my head spin.” He removed the last of his clothes and tossed them aside. Tommy ran the tips of his fingers up the inside of Chuck’s leg, stopping just before his knuckles brushed the bulge in his jock. “How did I ever look at you without feeling this?”

Chuck shivered beneath him, but his expression was earnest. “I don’t care about what happened before,” he said. “What matters is you’re here now. We’re here now.”

Tommy climbed onto the bed, kissing up and down Chuck’s body, never taking his eyes off of his face. He dragged his tongue over his smooth hip bone and upwards before sinking his teeth into the tight skin below Chuck’s nipple.

Over and over again he asked, whispering the words against freckled skin: “Are you with me, baby?” And every time Chuck nodded, Tommy carried on.

Chuck was a trembling, twitching mess when Tommy grabbed a pillow and slid it under his hips. He settled between Chuck’s sprawled thighs. He could make out the flushed skin of his cock where it strained against the white cotton, and a small wet spot was forming that Tommy wanted to taste.

“Think you can hold your legs open for me?” Tommy asked as he kissed the inside of Chuck’s thigh. Chuck responded by hugging both of his legs up to his chest, the jock leaving his ass perfectly exposed. “Beautiful,” Tommy breathed as leaned in and flicked his tongue over Chuck’s hole. “So fucking beautiful spread out like that, baby.”

Chuck let out a soft whine that made the blood rush to Tommy’s cock. He lowered his mouth to hover against the skin of Chuck’s ass. “Are you with me, baby?”

“Yeah,” Chuck whispered. “Yes, fuck T, please.”

Tommy couldn’t explain what it was about Chuck’s taste that left him ravenous, but he licked and sucked and swirled his tongue around Chuck’s rim until his moans grew loud and desperate. With a hand on Chuck’s trembling thigh Tommy held his tongue rigid and pressed inside, savoring each of Chuck’s whimpers and cries.

Tommy’s dick throbbed beneath him, his hips unconsciously rolling against the mattress in a desperate search for friction. His face was wet with his own spit, his lips and tongue were growing numb, and he didn’t think he’d ever been more turned on in his life. He drew back, panting and looked up at Chuck. “I’m trying to be patient, but baby, I need to be inside you so bad.”

Chuck was already nodding, his pupils blown wide and his cheeks stained pink. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Yes. Do it.”

Tommy got up, grabbing the bottle of lube from his bag before climbing back into the bed. He crawled up Chuck’s body, squeezed some lube onto his fingertips, and dropped his hand down to Chuck’s already wet and softened hole.

His finger slid in without resistance, and he made sure to brush Chuck’s prostate every time he dragged his finger in and out. One finger became two, and Tommy added more lube before adding a third.

“Need you,” Chuck cried out. “Fuck T, I’m ready.”

Tommy lined up his cock, letting out a ragged exhale as he pressed inside Chuck slowly, his whole body shaking with effort. The pressure around his dick was almost too much. Tommy pressed his face into the crook of Chuck’s neck, trying to control himself. When he was buried all the way, he lifted himself up onto his elbows, staring down at Chuck. “Are you with me?”

“I’m with you,” Chuck replied, and then tugged Tommy’s face down into a hot, open-mouthed kiss.

Tommy rolled his hips slowly, finding a rhythm that left them both breathless. It was a sweaty, tender thing, the way their bodies moved together. Chuck’s mouth was insistent against his, and his hands gripped Tommy’s ass, holding him tightly as he thrust again, and again, and again.

“I’m almost there,” Tommy muttered, his jaw clenched as he tried to stave off the orgasm already hovering at the edges of his vision and curling at the base of his spine. “Do you want my hand, baby? Want me to touch your pretty cock while I fuck you?”

Chuck nodded, eyes wide and desperate. Tommy tugged the jock down and grabbed his cock, working his tight fist up and down, Chuck’s precum easing the slide of his hand. Chuck bucked up into him, curses and cries falling from his swollen lips. Fuck , he was so beautiful, and it was too much to see Chuck like this beneath him. Tommy’s thrusts grew frenzied—he was right there, the orgasm just out of reach. His breath caught in his chest, and his body froze, hovering on the edge.

When the pleasure overtook him, his vision went white, his balls throbbing as he emptied himself into Chuck’s body, his consciousness overwhelmed with Chuck as his hips chased the indescribable high of his orgasm.

Somehow, he kept his hand moving, even as he struggled to form thoughts or breathe. He managed to claim Chuck’s mouth in a gasping, open mouthed kiss as the other man came apart beneath him. Cum spilled over Tommy’s fist and he groaned, “Yes, baby, just like that.”

Chuck shuddered, hips canting up once more before he slumped, boneless on the mattress. Tommy watched him with an overwhelmed reverence, kissing one copper eyebrow, and then the other. Then he kissed the tip of Chuck’s nose.

Tommy couldn’t keep the smile from his face as he pulled away. “I’m going to grab a cloth to clean us up.”

He waited for the water to warm before climbing back into their bed with a damp washcloth. Chuck blinked at him, a lazy, sated smile on his face as he watched Tommy gently clean the lube and cum from his body.

He threw the cloth in the general direction of the bathroom and then flopped down onto the bed, cuddling up against Chuck’s long body. “Am I doing right by you?” Tommy lifted his head, meeting Chuck’s confused gaze. “I want to make sure I do right by you, Chuck. I don’t want to get it wrong.”

Chuck’s expression turned fond, and he combed his fingers through Tommy’s floppy hair. “No one has ever been as good at loving me as you, T.”

Tommy stopped breathing. He saw the exact moment Chuck realized what he’d said, his eyes widening. “Wait, I didn’t mean—” Chuck started.

Tommy surged forward, silencing him with a kiss. He kept it brief, only taking a quick taste before drawing back and looking deep into Chuck’s blue eyes. “I’m going to love you for a very long time, Chuck.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“I love you too,” Chuck replied with a smile so big it looked like he was on the verge of laughter.