Page 29

CHAPTER 28

INEVITABLE, REALLY

CHUCK

“It sounds like Guatemala was incredible.”

Miguel smiled at Chuck, their skin a deep, golden tan perfectly set off by the vibrant golden-yellow workout set they were wearing as they walked together down the gravel paths of West Ashley Greenway. “It was amazing, but I’m ready for the new school year. I get bored with all of this free time. Richard can’t wait to be rid of me.”

Chuck scoffed. “That’s bullshit and you know it. That man is obsessed with you in a totally healthy and not at all overbearing way.”

Miguel threw their head back and laughed. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Chuck smiled. He’d woken up feeling a little low, and after a half-hour of wallowing, he’d decided to reach out to his friend. It was Miguel’s idea to go for a walk by the river.

Miguel had just gotten home from their summer in Guatemala, and, now that the final weeks of summer were approaching, they were both shifting into the mindset of the upcoming school year. For Miguel that meant planning classes, writing research grants, and getting up to date on a new group of incoming students who Miguel had been paired with as an academic advisor. For Chuck, it meant confirming travel plans and class assignments with the incoming class of swimmers, getting a few transfer students in touch with the right departments, and starting to schedule meetings with the rest of his coaching staff.

“How are you really doing, amor?” Miguel placed a soft hand on Chuck’s bare, sweaty shoulder. He was wearing short, blue running shorts and an old t-shirt of Tommy’s he’d cut the sleeves off of, and Chuck had cropped it so it barely reached his belly button.

“I’m honestly good.” Chuck took a slow breath, scratching the rolled bandana he’d tied around his wild hair. “Switching back to the old meds feels like it’s working, and with the lower dose I feel a little more present in my body. Makes me wish I’d just done this in the first place, rather than trying something new.”

Miguel waved their hand. “I’m so sorry, Chuck. I cannot imagine going through something like that. But I’ve known you for years, and I’ve never seen you like this. You look free, and happy, and you’ve got a beautiful relationship that is just beginning! What more could someone ask for in life?”

Chuck nodded, lost in his thoughts as the trail followed a bend in the river. “I still can’t believe how great Tommy has been,” he finally admitted.

“Why? Haven’t you known him forever?”

“Yeah, but it’s different to be bros with someone than to date them.”

“Shame. All these years I’ve been fantasizing about what you jocks get up to in those locker rooms,” Miguel trailed off with a laugh. “But really, Chuck. From what you’ve told me about Tommy over the years, it’s not surprising to hear that he’s consistent and committed. Are you really so shocked he’s like this with you now that you’re dating?”

“I guess not.” He walked closer to Miguel, throwing an arm over their shoulders. Chuck was a good bit taller, and it was easy for him to plant a loud, smacking kiss on Miguel’s buzzed head. “Thank you for this,” he said, giving Miguel a gentle squeeze. “I’m lucky to have friends like you in my corner.”

“We’re lucky to have you, amor,” was Miguel’s response.

* * *

“Chuck. Do we need to have a conversation about sunscreen?”

Chuck let out a laugh, shaking his head at Dr. Anderson. He’d forgotten to put sunscreen on that morning before his walk with Miguel, and now the pink skin on his shoulders and nose bore the evidence of his neglect. “I went for a walk with my friend Miguel this morning and I forgot.”

“Walking is good. I’m glad you’re getting out of the house.”

Chuck nodded, sinking back into the couch. “Me too. I almost hesitated to reach out, but then I thought about everything we’ve talked about, about not isolating myself and letting my community in, and I’m really glad that I did.”

Dr. Anderson smiled. “I’m so glad to hear that, Chuck. Tell me how you’re doing with intimacy.”

Chuck wrinkled his nose. “I know we’ve been at this for ten years, Doc, but it doesn’t get any easier to talk about my sex life with you.”

“Do I need to remind you that I’ve participated in the conception of multiple biological children or that I had a phase of bi-curiosity in the seventies?”

“No, please, not again,” Chuck said, already laughing. “Once was more than enough.” He let out a loud breath, gathering himself. “I’m feeling…aroused again. It’s still a little bit quiet, I guess I’d say, but there’s something about Tommy that has me feeling…” He waved his hands around, unable to put a finger on exactly what it was about Tommy that was reviving his physical desire. Tommy was stupidly attractive, of course, but there was something more.

Dr. Anderson nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Maybe there’s something to be said for the way Tommy has shown up for you in the past month. There is a real potency to the feeling of a partner seeing and knowing the parts of yourself that you’ve kept hidden or felt shame about. When they see you and, in spite of it all, keep choosing you. Do you think that’s what Tommy has done?”

Chuck swallowed. “Every day. He’s so good to me.”

“Do you think maybe that has something to do with your libido?”

Chuck thought about it. Tommy had shown up again and again. He’d articulated his own needs, and voiced his own fears, with a courage and vulnerability that had left Chuck breathless. Tommy was patient with him, and really listened when Chuck spoke. The intimacy they shared—sure, it was physical, but it went so far beyond that too.

Even when he was away at work, or on the nights he slept back at his own apartment, Chuck never doubted Tommy. No matter where he was, Chuck knew he wasn’t alone.

“I think I’m in love with him,” Chuck admitted.

Dr. Anderson smiled. “And how does that feel?”

“Inevitable, really.”

“I’m happy for you, Chuck. Truly, I am. Now let’s go through the past few days. Were there any moments you’d like to discuss? Low points we can work through?”

As Chuck began to run through the ups and downs of his week with Dr. Anderson, all he could think about was Tommy.

* * *

Chuck couldn’t believe Tommy had agreed to take all three cats to the vet at the same time. Sure, Chuck had carriers for each of them, and it was only a routine appointment to get them caught up on their shots, but the voice in his head still whispered that this would be the thing to send Tommy running. That doubt had grown quieter in the past month. Not gone entirely, but soft enough to ignore.

Tommy had even texted a selfie from the vet of him smiling like an idiot with both Angel and Bones tucked under one arm and Sir Mix-A-Lot perched on his lap. Bones was, predictably, baring his sharp teeth and glaring at Tommy like he was actively plotting his demise, while Angel looked only mildly inconvenienced by the whole thing. Sir Mix-A-Lot looked right at the camera like he was intentionally posing.

Chuck was curled up on the couch when he heard the crunch of tires in his driveway. A door slammed. Then a series of shouted curses and yelling and fuck, was that meowing?

Chuck started to stand, only to jump up on the couch with a shriek as loud scratching sounds came from under the living room floor. The noise moved quickly, like maybe Leonard was suddenly inspired to start exercising.

His heart pounded as he threw open the front door. It took him a moment to locate Tommy, who was lying flat on his stomach between the dahlias in the front garden bed with a distressed and yowling Angel gripped tightly under one arm.

“What the fuck?”

Tommy looked up at him, one side of his face smeared with dirt, his eyes wide and panicked. “Bones just ran under the porch.” His mouth tightened. “Based on the noises in there, I think he met Leonard.”

“Shit.” Chuck nervously ran a hand through his hair.

A long hiss and another loud meow echoed from the little gap between his front stoop and the wood lattice that covered the opening to the crawl space.

Without saying a word, Chuck turned and ran back into the house. He heard Tommy’s footsteps behind him as he dodged his dining room table and tugged open the sliding glass door to his back patio.

He slid to a stop as a blob of matted gray fur shuffled out from under his patio with a gray and white cat hot on its bald tail. A hard body slammed into his back, and it was only Tommy’s arm wrapped around his waist that kept him upright.

“Bones!” Chuck shouted, not exactly sure how screaming at the cat would help.

But Bones was locked in, hissing and spitting as he chased the possum across Chuck’s yard and up into a young oak.

Chuck was honestly surprised Bones didn’t follow Leonard up the tree, merely hissing up at the animal a few times before turning away and proudly sauntering back toward them. Chuck could only stare in disbelief as the cat butted his head against his shins, clearly demanding a reward for his efforts.

Tommy thunked his forehead down on Chuck’s shoulder, letting out a loud sigh. “Fuck,” he muttered, before straightening again. “I’m going to get a box.”

Chuck grabbed a fistful of Tommy’s shirt. “You are not going to try to catch Leonard right now, Tommy. That’s what the animal rescue people are for.”

“You call animal rescue, but I’m not going to let this slippery little fuck get back under your house. You deserve some peace, baby, and I’m going to give it to you.”

The entire situation was so ridiculous that Chuck wanted to laugh, but Tommy looked so determined he bit back his smile and took his white, scowling cat from his boyfriend’s arms. It only took a moment to find the number for the local animal rescue center and report that they’d found a possum.

Tommy jogged around the side of the house, reappearing with a foam cooler, a rake, and a pair of leather work gloves. He was still dressed for work in a linen button-up, khaki pants, and loafers.

Chuck watched as Tommy put on the gloves, opened the cooler, and then, with the rake in one hand and the open cooler in the other, crept up to the oak.

The possum sat perfectly still on a branch, long snout open to bare its sharp teeth, its pale tail twitching where it hung down into the air. Tommy extended the rake, getting close enough to the animal to nudge the metal tines against its body. Immediately the little claws scrambled for purchase and a series of loud hisses came from its mouth.

“Come on, Leonard,” Tommy muttered loud enough that Chuck could hear him from his spot up on the deck. “You’ve lost this one, you mangy bastard.” With one final shove, the possum fell from the branch into the waiting cooler that Tommy held up in his other hand. Tommy fumbled with the lid, but as soon as it was in place he turned to Chuck, raising the rake in the air above his head like he’d just defeated an opponent in the Colosseum. His face was split in two by a wide, laughing smile as he beamed at Chuck. “Baby, look! I got him!”

Chuck’s own face ached from grinning, and he clapped as well as he could with Angel still in his arms. He wanted to run to Tommy, jump into his arms, wrap his legs around his thick torso, and bury his face into the spot on his neck where he sprayed his cologne in the morning.

But then animal rescue was there, and they both nodded along as the thickly-mustached man gave them a stern lecture about catching wild animals on their own. They both said goodbye to Leonard, who responded with a hiss.

Finally, it was just the two of them again, standing on the front stoop. Tommy hadn’t taken off his gloves yet, and a sheen of moisture made his skin glow. Chuck had to admit that sweat was a good look on him.

“Fuck me,” Tommy said, wiping his forearm over his face. When he dropped his hand, his eyebrows were askew. Then with a panicked look on his face, he jumped up, running over to his car. He wrenched open the driver’s side door, bent over, and when he turned around he was holding an extremely perturbed looking Sir Mix-A-Lot.

The laughter started in Chuck’s throat and moved down into his chest and stomach. It was the kind of laughter that brought tears to his eyes. He could barely catch his breath, unable to do anything but slump against his front door as he clung to the two cats in his arms.

He was still laughing as Tommy opened the front door and nudged him inside. He was still laughing as he gently put the cats down and they scampered off toward his room, probably to hide and recover from all the excitement.

Something must have cracked open inside of him because, as he collapsed onto the couch, the moisture in his eyes turned to tears, and the gasping breaths became sobs.

The couch sagged as Tommy sat beside him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. Chuck slumped against him. Tommy brushed a kiss against his forehead, his voice quiet when he said, “Want to tell me about it?”

Chuck shook his head.

“Okay, baby,” Tommy leaned back, bringing Chuck with him. “I’m here.”

Chuck recognized the shame that tightened his throat, and reminded himself there was nothing to be ashamed of. Tommy was there with him because he chose to be.

But just because he knew the shame and embarrassment were misplaced didn’t mean he could will them away. His brain could tell him he was fine, that everything he was going through was a part of being human, but it didn’t mean his heart believed it yet. That was the shit that took time—actually believing and trusting those things.

“Why are you so good to me?” Chuck knew he sounded like a broken record, but even after more than a month with Tommy, it still felt new to trust someone like this.

Tommy tightened his hold around him. “Being good to you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, Chuck. It’s not work or an obligation. Every part of me wants to l—” He broke off, clearing his throat. Chuck heard his own heartbeat slamming in his ears. “To care for every part of you,” Tommy finished. “It’s just that easy.”

Later that night, after Chuck grilled veggies on the back patio while Tommy baked a chicken, he came up behind Tommy as he washed the dishes. When he placed his chin on his shoulder, Tommy turned to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

It was still hard to believe this was his life. He had a handsome, passionate teammate who showed him over and over again that he wasn’t going anywhere. He was steady and consistent, keeping Chuck’s needs at the forefront of everything he did.

Chuck wanted to do something for him. Even though he knew he didn’t need to, knew that Tommy would show up and be there for him all the same, he wanted to do something special for him. Maybe he’d plan a surprise for his birthday, which was coming up.

As he watched Tommy’s strong, capable hands scrub the last of the dishes, Chuck knew exactly what he was going to do.