Page 19

CHAPTER 18

YOU’VE GOT ME

CHUCK

Chuck woke up feeling better than he had in years. His head was clear, his dick was hard, and he swore if he opened his mouth, uncontrollable laughter would come out.

Reluctantly he untangled his legs from Tommy’s, slipping from the bed and into the bathroom. He took a minute to relieve himself, take his meds, and brush his teeth before creeping back into the room.

Early morning sunlight glowed through the gaps in the curtains, providing enough light that Chuck could easily make out the frown on Tommy’s lips as he slept.

Chuck climbed onto the bed and peeled back the blankets until Tommy’s relaxed, naked body was exposed. Shifting so he lay between Tommy’s spread thighs, he dipped his head down and licked over the head of Tommy’s soft length.

Chuck watched Tommy’s face carefully as he mouthed at his cock, licking and sucking every inch of skin. Tommy shifted, his breath hitching as he hardened under Chuck’s attention.

He saw the moment Tommy’s eyes fluttered open. There was a flash of confusion before his gaze snapped down, heat immediately darkening his expression when he saw Chuck’s lips wrapped around his cock.

“Morning,” Tommy said, staring down at Chuck, his voice rough from sleep.

Chuck slipped off of Tommy’s cock, replacing his mouth with his hand. “Hi.” He grinned.

Tommy’s chest rose and fell, the smattering of brown hair catching in the light. He smiled back at him. “Best wake up ever.”

Chuck licked over the tip. “I should have asked,” he admitted.

Tommy shrugged. “I would have said yes.”

Chuck didn’t hold back, tightening his mouth around Tommy’s hard shaft as he sucked and licked, bobbing his head up and down with an urgency that had him grinding his own hips into the soft bed.

“Never going to get over this,” Tommy grunted above him. “Your mouth on my cock, baby, it’s… fuck . Fuck, it’s so good.”

Encouraged, Chuck relaxed his throat and took him deeper, forcing an exhale from his nose as he fought against his gag reflex. He loved this part—pushing his own body to the limit for someone else’s pleasure, the rush of knowing he was the reason his partner was coming apart.

Tommy groaned as he came, his cum filling Chuck’s throat. Chuck worked the base of Tommy’s cock with his fist as he drew back enough to suck the tip as Tommy’s orgasm worked through him. He swallowed down every drop, lightening the pressure only when Tommy grew still above him.

“You,” Tommy gasped. “Wanna see you come.”

Chuck let go of Tommy’s cock and climbed up to straddle his chest. He took his own cock in hand, already so fucking close that it only took a few strokes before he was spilling with a shout all over Tommy’s bare chest. For a moment Chuck let himself bask in the aftershocks that seized him, his head thrown back as his lungs remembered how to breathe.

“I needed that,” Chuck finally said, leaning down to press a hard kiss to Tommy’s slack mouth.

Tommy hummed and deepened the kiss, grabbing two handfuls of Chuck’s hair to hold him in place. Chuck didn’t care about his cum smearing between their bodies or Tommy’s morning breath.

In that moment, Chuck had everything he needed.

* * *

After a quick shower and lazy breakfast on the patio, they went down to the water.

They grabbed paddle boards from the boathouse, dragging them down to the dock before doubling back to get their goggles. It was already hot for midmorning, which Chuck knew would help Tommy adjust to swimming in open water rather than the comfort of the pool. They’d paused long enough to take turns applying sunscreen; Chuck only had to remind Tommy to stay on task four times, as the man’s hands had a tendency to wander.

They’d used the paddle boards in the past, so they were both able to get up and functionally paddling pretty quickly. Chuck had spent some time thinking about how he wanted to plot out the half-mile practice route. The house was close enough to the vast, open water of the lake that Chuck didn’t want to risk boat traffic by setting out straight into the middle.

“Let’s paddle down the left bank and see how far half a mile is,” Chuck called over his shoulder. The left bank had less vegetation, which probably meant that the bottom would be clearer. As a newbie to open water swimming, he bet Tommy would appreciate fewer sunken tree trunks below him.

The lake was quiet as they set out, only interrupted by the distant hum of motors. Chuck had always loved it out here, even though the initial circumstances of their visit had been in the wake of a tragedy. In the years since, Lake Murray had become a place where all of their friends came together and took a break from the rat race of their lives. It was a place Chuck associated with slowing down and making time for real, genuine connections.

It felt fitting that he and Tommy were there together. He looked over at the man, finding him watching Chuck with a smile on his face.

“What are you looking at?” Chuck asked, scooping his paddle and flicking water over at Tommy.

Tommy barked out a laugh and returned the favor. He looked obscenely good in his Speedo, his thick quads and strong arms shining tan in the sunlight.

“You’re just so hot,” Tommy said, catching his breath. “So fucking hot, man. I can’t handle how good you look in that suit.”

Chuck felt his cheeks warm, and glanced down at himself. He knew his own Speedo cupped his soft cock and stretched over his ass. “If you like this then you should see me in a jock,” he teased.

Tommy stopped paddling, his head tipping back as he let out a dramatic, tortured groan. “You have a jock?” he asked, staring at Chuck, disbelief clearly written on his face.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Um,” Tommy rubbed a hand over his mouth. “When I was, you know, figuring things out, there may have been some porn that…spoke to me.”

Chuck burst out laughing. “Were you watching locker room porn?”

“There was a hot red-head!” Tommy snapped his mouth shut, eyes wide, and Chuck watched color tinge his cheeks. “Fuck me,” he muttered.

Chuck couldn’t will the smile from his face. “Hey T?”

“What?”

“Guess what I packed?”

Tommy stared at him with his mouth open for a few seconds before he looked back over his shoulder. “Great, so let’s turn this shit around,” he called out as he started to turn his paddle board back toward the house. “I think this deserves our immediate attention.”

Chuck laughed hard and loud, the whole situation so silly and ridiculous and hot, and he was struck by the foreign sense of levity that filled him.

“No!” He managed to call out between laughs. “I’ll wear the jock for you later. Right now you need to get your ass in the water and practice.”

“Fine!” Tommy wheeled back around and, with a few powerful paddles, he was level with Chuck once again. “You’re an asshole,” he muttered, but his expression was amused.

“Psh,” Chuck waved off the insult. “I’m the best. I sucked your cock this morning.”

“What the fuck, man. You’re making me hard.” Tommy reached down to adjust himself, almost losing his balance.

They paddled on, with Chuck checking his smartwatch every few meters. “Here,” he finally said, slowing his board with his paddle. They were about 25 yards from the shoreline. “Let’s tie your board to the back of mine.”

Tommy carefully lowered himself to a seated position and took a moment to situate his goggles. He’d decided to forgo the cap since they weren’t in chlorine. Then he slipped into the water and moved to attach the lanyard on his board to the back of Chuck’s. Once that was done, he rested his forearms on the edge of the board, his face tilted up toward Chuck.

“Do you see the flagpole on the dock?”

Tommy glanced back along the relatively straight shoreline, and nodded. He could barely make out a tall, silver flagpole jutting up from the end of the dock.

“That’s your marker. Check it every three to four strokes. And if you’re tired…”

“Breaststroke or sidestroke. I know.”

Chuck looked down at Tommy’s flexed jaw and his clenched fists. Even if Tommy wasn’t saying it outright, Chuck knew he was nervous. “You’ve got this,” he said, looking earnestly at the man who was now so much more than his friend.

Tommy nodded sharply. “And you’ll stay close?”

“Right next to you.”

“Fuck.” Tommy let out a loud exhale. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

* * *

For the first five minutes, Chuck paddled slowly, keeping about five feet of space between them.

It felt indulgent to watch Tommy swim. There was a reason Chuck had first realized he was attracted to men watching his teammates move through the water as a teenager. In the years since then, his gaze had turned technical, constantly evaluating the swimmers on his teams’ technique and performance. When he was coaching, all of his focus was on potential areas of improvement.

But here, in the mid morning warmth surrounded by blue-green lake water, Chuck was reminded of just how beautiful swimming could be.

Tommy’s movements were smooth, his shoulders rocking side to side with each stroke. His legs churned the water behind him, his kicks strong and in rhythm.

“Doing good,” Chuck called when Tommy lifted his head for a moment to check his mark. “Keep it up.”

Tommy resumed swimming, but he began lifting his head to check his position more frequently. Chuck watched him carefully, noting that his strokes were speeding up. Shit .

They hadn’t quite made it to the halfway point when Tommy flipped over onto his back, arms working furiously at his sides to keep him afloat. His chest heaved and his breathing was audibly loud.

He started shaking his head. “I can’t,” he gasped.

Chuck stopped paddling. “Slow down your breathing, T,” he called.

“Fuck!”

His breathing wasn’t slowing down, and Chuck caught the exact moment when panic set in. Tommy’s breaths were labored and uneven, and it was obvious he was struggling to keep his head above the water.

One strong paddle had him at Tommy’s side, and he lowered himself to the deck to help Tommy lift his trembling body up onto the board. When it was clear that Tommy had a solid grip, Chuck sat back, shifting down the board so his legs dangled in the water to keep them balanced. “What happened?” he asked, placing his hand on Tommy’s shaking shoulder.

Tommy lifted his head from where it had slumped forward onto the textured surface of the paddle board. He pulled off his goggles, and shook the water from his face. “I panicked,” he admitted. “I just kept looking down and it’s so murky and creepy that I fucking panicked.”

Chuck could see the defeat in his furrowed brows and the anguished turn of his mouth. Tommy was an athlete just like he was. It wasn’t in their DNA to meet a physical task they couldn’t conquer, and Chuck could only imagine how the sting of that compounded with Tommy’s frustration.

“Let’s go back to the dock and chill,” Chuck offered. “We can swim around for a little bit and try again later.”

Tommy managed a nod. Chuck knew he could do it. He’d covered the distance in the pool without any problem, but Chuck also knew the adjustment to open water was one that could take time.

They’d take a break, and then they’d try again.

* * *

They spent the rest of the morning messing around in the water by the dock. Chuck was relieved to see the tension had faded from Tommy’s body as they climbed back up to the house for lunch. They were both flushed from the sun, and only bothered to pull on shorts over their suits as they made sandwiches in the kitchen.

Chuck kissed the back of Tommy’s neck just because he could, warmth filling him when Tommy reciprocated by pulling Chuck into his arms and pressing kisses to his neck.

He watched Tommy add chopped black olives to his sandwich without asking.

They went back to the couch on the deck with their sandwiches, sitting close enough that sweat gathered where their bare arms pressed together.

Chuck glanced over at Tommy. He was frowning down at the lake, staring out at the water like it had personally offended him. “What if you don’t do the swim?”

Tommy looked at him, affronted. “What?”

“Seriously. What if you don’t do it? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I don’t think I’ll get the job,” Tommy said, setting down his sandwich and wiping his palms on his thighs. “I know it sounds nuts, but I think that, in Rick’s mind, the race is some fucked up metaphor for being a committed and driven employee.”

“Do you even want the job?”

“Of course I do.”

He watched Tommy, noting the deep groove between his brows. “Is it the money?”

Tommy huffed, shaking his head. “No. I make more than enough now.”

“Then what is it? You already work a ton. You’re already an upper level manager, and you have a bunch of employees who love you.”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Fuck off.” Chuck knocked Tommy’s thigh with his knee. “Tell me.”

Tommy let out a loud, labored sigh. “We’re in our mid-thirties, Chuck. We’re far along into our lives at this point. I had a marriage that was supposed to last forever, and that’s gone. I—I mean, we screwed that up. Then there’s this job, which is the only other thing I’ve poured myself into. This job is all I have to show for the past ten years of my life. I don’t think I could stand it if I failed at that too.”

Chuck stared at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “You know you’re so much more than your job, right? You’ve got all of us who love the hell out of you.” He reached out, brushing his thumb over the rough stubble on Tommy’s jaw. “You’ve got me.”

Tommy’s mouth curved into a slow smile. “Thanks,” he said, as he reached out and placed a heavy hand on Chuck’s thigh. “Wanna make out?”

Chuck snorted. “That wasn’t smooth at all.”

Tommy’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he grinned, showing his white teeth. “Sorry, that wasn’t my best work. Let me try that again.” He cleared his throat, and schooled his face into a stern but heated expression. “How about you go upstairs and put that jock on, and I’ll follow you and eat your ass, pretty boy.”

“Um,” Chuck said, trying to find the right words even as heat flooded his body. “That. That’s better.”

As Chuck ran up the stairs with Tommy’s footsteps heavy behind him, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was what he’d been missing out on. If the depression that had clung to the surface of every good thing in his life had kept him from this kind of happiness.

This is happening. My mind feels good, my body feels awake, my dick is hard and Tommy wants me .

This was a dream, and Chuck was living it.

* * *

“Okay. Lay back and try to relax.”

They were back in the water after reapplying sunscreen, this time only a few yards away from the floating dock. Chuck treaded water comfortably, egg-beater kicking his long legs in a familiar rhythm that kept his chest and head above the water.

He watched as Tommy laid back, his body floating on the surface of the water. He heard Tommy’s loud exhale as he relaxed into the position.

“The water is not out to get you.” Chuck spoke loudly enough that Tommy would be able to hear him from just below the surface. “You know how to swim, you’re strong, and if all else fails, you can rest and float.”

Tommy didn’t respond.

Chuck lifted his face to the sun, feeling the immediate warmth where the afternoon rays met his wet skin. He was happiest when he was in the water—always had been, even before swimming became a practice and a sport. Growing up in Central Texas, springs and summers were spent finding water wherever they could. There were public pools, rivers, and more natural springs than he could count.

“You look happy.”

Chuck grinned. “I am happy.” He opened his eyes, finding Tommy treading water in front of him. “How about we do a ten minute swim along the shoreline together? Five minutes out and five minutes back?”

Tommy nodded. “Deal. And then I want to make you dinner.”

“Twist my fucking arm.”

The swim was slow and leisurely, but Chuck felt like it was what Tommy needed. They ended up side stroking or breast stroking with their heads above water most of the way as they chatted about Tommy’s work and how Chuck’s team was looking for next year.

By the time they made it back to the house they were both exhausted. Tommy sent Chuck to shower, and when he came back downstairs there were burgers on the grill and sweet potato fries fresh from the oven.

After dinner and a quick clean up in the kitchen, they decided to retreat to Chuck’s bed. Chuck stripped down to his white briefs, and even as he yawned, Tommy looked appreciatively at Chuck’s body as he climbed into bed in just his boxers.

“Hey,” Tommy said softly, smiling at Chuck with a crooked smile. “Today was a really fucking good day.”

“Yeah it was.”

Tommy leaned over and kissed him. Chuck pressed his tongue into Tommy’s mouth, deepening the kiss and scooting over to close the distance between them. His breath caught at the soft slide of Tommy’s bare chest against him, and greedily Chuck pressed their hips together.

Tommy was already hard, his cock stiff against Chuck’s hip.

Chuck broke away from him. “Grab the lube,” he whispered, rolling his hips so his erection brushed against Tommy’s.

A second later, Tommy pressed the bottle of lube into his hand. Chuck slid off his briefs, and a tug on the hem of Tommy’s boxers was enough to get his point across. When they were both naked and Tommy’s lips were teasing the side of Chuck’s neck, Chuck reached down and wrapped his slicked-up hand around both of them.

“Oh,” Tommy breathed against his skin. Chuck tightened his grip, the hot slide of Tommy’s cock against his sending a sharp rush of arousal through him.

Their mouths found each other again as Chuck worked them, jacking them off together.

“I’m not gonna last, baby,” Tommy ground out the words and then bit down on Chuck’s lower lip with a groan.

Chuck thrust into his fist, balls already tightening. “I’m right there with you, T.”

Tommy came first, Chuck swallowing his shout as his release spilled between them. Chuck kept working him through the aftershocks, chasing his own orgasm like he was in the final five meters of a race.

There was a rawness inside of him, a feeling like whatever this thing was between them was growing into a life of its own. The warmth and happiness and overwhelming good in his chest was almost too much, and he hurtled over the edge, coming with a gasp as his whole body seized with pleasure.

“Tommy,” he whispered, pressing reverent kisses over Tommy’s rough jaw.

“Chuck,” was Tommy’s soft response.

Once they’d cleaned up, Chuck settled onto his back and Tommy curled up against his side, his hand lazily tracing up and down Chuck’s stomach. It was a reversal of how their bodies had previously fit together—Chuck typically clung to Tommy like a barnacle while Tommy held him—but in the moment it felt right to wrap his arms around Tommy’s shoulders and hold him tight.

“Will you come with me?”

Chuck looked down. “To the retreat?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh,” Chuck started. The plan had been for Chuck to head back to Charleston when Tommy drove to the other side of the lake for his work retreat. But now Tommy was asking, and Chuck wanted to be there for him. “Yeah, T. I mean, are you sure?”

Tommy shifted so he was propped up on one elbow, looking down at Chuck with his chestnut hair flopping down over his forehead. “Of course,” he said, frowning. “I want you to be there with me.”

“As your personal swimming instructor?” Chuck teased.

Tommy just looked at him intently. “No, Chuck. Will you come with me as my date?”

“What?” Chuck felt like his heart stopped beating.

“As silly as it sounds, I’m nervous.” A muscle in his jaw flexed. “This thing between us is real, and it would mean a lot if you were there with me.”

Chuck took in the worried tension in Tommy’s face and the hint of insecurity in the way he wouldn’t quite meet his eye. “Of course, T. I’ll be there.”

Tommy’s smile made Chuck melt a little bit inside. He closed the distance between them and kissed Chuck right on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you,” Tommy murmured as he pressed another kiss to Chuck’s eyebrow.

There was a buzzing that filled Chuck, like champagne bubbles racing to escape the bottle right as the cork popped. I’m so fucking happy, Chuck mused, tugging Tommy down into a slower, lazy kiss. When they broke apart and settled into an entangled heap in the middle of the bed, Chuck tried to quiet his mind.

He heard Tommy’s breathing slow, felt his body slump into the relaxed lull of sleep. But Chuck couldn’t quiet the vibration under the surface of his skin, and he resigned himself to blinking up into the darkness above him.

He’d fall asleep eventually.