Page 9 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Nine

Audrey

W alking into the conservatory was like stepping into an entirely new world. The green vines and leaves mixed with the vibrant flowers in a breathtaking display.

Bright, warm sunlight filtered in through the glass, heating the room and filling it with life.

It was a contrast to the dim lighting and dark decor inside the walls of ARC. An oasis that called for me to explore it. To walk among the petals and leaves and find something I didn't know I was searching for.

After talking to Ledger and remembering the garden at home, I couldn’t resist coming here. I needed something to bring me to life again.

Something not tainted by trauma and filth.

I tried to remember if I ever helped garden as I grew older, but my mind was too fuzzy. Those memories were too hard to think about. Everything about my parents was. All I could see now was the version of them after I was found.

The parents who wrinkled their noses as they took me in at the hospital, the ones who talked to me like a skittish deer, who were too afraid to touch me. As if I were tainted.

One look around and I knew where I’d be escaping on late nights I couldn’t sleep.

Especially after that alpha told me not to be there alone.

He startled me, but he didn’t scare me. I’d looked into the eyes of many monsters and that alpha was dominant, large and muscled, but not aggressive.

He smelled incredible, too. Just like with Ledger, my omega stirred at the scent of black plum, violet, paper and ink. It was a strange mix, one that made me curious as to who he was beyond his size.

I took the main path, winding through the towering plants and leaves. Each step let me breathe easier, as if I truly was leaving that place behind.

Even if it was fleeting.

As I rounded the corner I spotted an older alpha wearing overalls and gardening gloves, welcoming everyone in with a smile on his face. He was as vibrant and inviting as the conservatory itself.

“There you are,” Theo huffed as he walked in. “It’s your group’s turn here in the conservatory. Then dinner.”

“Okay,” I said, keeping my voice even and face blank. He narrowed his eyes on me for a second before glancing at his watch and hurrying out.

“Jerk,” I muttered as I joined the others.

“Don’t worry about Theo. This is the head groundskeeper, Val,” Ledger supplied when I stopped next to him. “We help take care of the plants. It’s supposed to give us purpose or something. I like it.”

He shrugged, but he also looked lighter than last time I saw him. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who felt like this place was healing all on its own.

“Everyone, get to weeding,” Val called out as he approached me, that grandfatherly smile firmly in place. “You must be Audrey.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, giving him a tentative smile. He might be an alpha, but he was gentle in his approach and warm in his words. Something I wasn’t used to.

“I recognized that gleam in your eyes when you walked in. It’s been a while since I’ve found someone willing to care for her like I do,” he said with a wink as he gestured around at the conservatory and her plants. “Grab you some gloves and let me give you the grand tour.”

He gestured to a bin of gardening gloves. Most were picked through, only the wild designs left behind. I picked a bright, neon rainbow pair, shaking them out just in case a spider or other bug stowed away, before I slid my hands inside.

“This is our exotic plant section,” he started, naming each one by scientific name, then common name, including a list of care instructions.

I didn’t retain half of it before he was moving along.

I tried my best to keep up, taking mental notes as he proudly showed off the world he’d created in there.

I’d have to ask for a list so I could research them in the library, learn what I could so I didn’t ruin anything here. It was too perfect, I couldn’t let something wither because I was careless.

Ledger joked that this place gave purpose, but I had a feeling this would be something to focus on outside of therapy and the monotony of our daily schedules.

Val finally stopped at the double glass doors in the back of the conservatory, nodding his head outside. “Now, there’s one more thing I have to show you.”

“This is incredible,” I breathed out as we stepped outside and faced the ash tree the facility got its name from. It was sturdy and solid, twisting toward the sky as the branches stretched out in twisting tendrils.

“This tree has been here for years. The old school that was here was a rebuild. It burnt down and one of the towers collapsed on it. Tore off some branches. Any other tree would be taken out but my dad convinced them not to cut it down. They rebuilt, and he gave this tree enough love for it to make a comeback. Now you’d never know its past.”

I was smart enough to read between the lines and see what he was saying to me. Was this a speech he gave everyone? Remind us broken, formerly-bonded, patients that this wasn’t the end for us, just a short phase?

Suggesting if we were nurtured and healed enough, we could be strong again?

It was quite the concept.

A sweet, na?ve one.

That wasn’t how it worked in this world, or here within these walls. This alpha seemed to be just as much an oasis as the facility itself.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be safe enough to heal. They were too quick to make us compliant, submissive patients. Theo pushing me then freaking out the moment I got lost in my thoughts had shown me the true nature of therapy here.

Healing was hard and brutal, it tore you apart and made you face the darkest parts of you. Then it was a slow trudge up from the bottom, putting yourself back together again, brick by brick.

In the end, if I could handle therapy without flashbacks, maybe it would be different. Or maybe I’d be like kintsugi, put back together into something new and different, but just as beautiful, the glittering new parts enhancing who I was.

If only.

A tear trickled down my cheek and I wiped it away before offering him a fragile smile. “I hope that can be true for me, too.”

“It will be,” he said with a confidence that was painted in kindness.

This older man had no doubt about it and I let that sweet, caring nature wash over me.

“One of the best forms of therapy is finding peace in something new. My troubles are tilled with the soil in this conservatory and these grounds. Maybe it will be the same for you.”

“Where do I start?”

“How about in my favorite spot?” he asked. “If you’re up for some sunshine.”

It was warm out here, but the quiet and clean, crisp air had me nodding my head. His grin brightened as he led me around to the front of the building. There was a circular garden rimmed in stone. The flowers here were a vibrant mix of pink, orange, and yellow.

“Petunias,” he answered the unspoken question. “We water three times a week, and today is that day, but I also haven’t had a chance to properly weed this area. You’ve got your gloves, but let me grab some more supplies.”

Just like that, he walked away from me. I stood in the sunshine, right in the middle of the sprawling lawn, with no one hovering over me.

I heard the warnings, knew I couldn’t run. And for once since arriving, I didn’t feel like it. Maybe he was right about finding my own brand of therapy here.

My head tilted back and I breathed in deep again, letting each chase away a little more of my inner pain. Even if it was temporary.

Theo had trudged up a lot. It didn't fit back in that mental box quite as nicely as before.

The garden was fairly large and I could see all the weeds popping up in between the flowers. This would take time, patience, and willpower to get it all.

Something I had plenty of.

When Val came back, pulling a wagon behind him, he gave me a rundown. Then I was kneeling on a garden mat, pulling weeds one by one and putting them in the bucket he’d brought.

He hovered for just a moment, giving me a hum of approval with how much care I took to pull the first few.

Then I was alone again, left to my own thoughts. At first I simply focused on the task in front of me. The afternoon sun was strong, bearing down on my black clothes until sweat started to cover my skin in a thin layer.

My arms ached, but the noise of the world faded.

Theo’s words had been churning in my mind for days.

“They’re not really your pack.”

I’d been given the pictures, seen the evidence. Maybe it was the new meds that Dr. Malik had me on, or it was the fact that I couldn’t conjure much of a memory of that pack anymore.

Everything I managed to draw out was all surface level. The sound of their voices, smooth, rich, and the alpha had a deep rumble.

A hint of scent that faded quickly enough I couldn’t quite pick out the notes that should be ingrained in me.

All my memories of them were wisps of smoke, the moment I leaned in to see more, they faded, taken off in the wind and leaving me feeling hollow.

The alpha was the strongest image. His face burned into my mind… yet, even now it was fading quickly. His eyes were… brown? Blue? With wrinkles around the edges. A hint that he wouldn’t cause me the same kind of pain I’d endured.

As I worked, pulling weed after weed, digging out the roots and pushing the soil back in place, I continued to try and draw out more.

There was so much to face. It wasn’t just the memories of my trauma coming back, or the fading pack, it was so much more.

My family, embarrassed and tearful thinking they could make me anyone else’s problem. Doctor after doctor who told them the same thing each time. I needed more help than they could give, but the meds would help. A small pebble in a sea of stones.

Meds I didn’t take, doctors they didn’t take me to see. They believed time at home could fix this. That I’d fall into the girl I was when I was taken.