Page 43 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Caspian

A small, brown haired girl filled my dream. Her voice was fading, the sweet, melodic laughter slipping from my grasp as I woke up with a jolt.

“You okay?” Audrey rasped, reaching for me and snuggling in close. I didn’t answer right away, simply breathing in her distinct scent and letting it chase away the building sadness.

“Just a rough dream. It feels like memories of my little girl are fading,” I admitted. It felt terrible to say out loud. How could a father forget the sound of his daughter’s voice? The daughter he failed to protect.

“Maybe you should talk to Ares today. I know it’s kind of weird that he’s our pack, but we’ve all been in far worse situations.

He’s good at what he does, even if it’s the ‘tough love’ approach sometimes,” she said as her hands teased through my hair, untangling the blond strands with gentle fingers.

She was sitting now, close enough her legs were pressed lightly against me as she talked, voice low and husky from sleep.

We were scent matches. Yet, I’d held myself back at every turn. As much as I craved this omega, I couldn't shake the guilt.

Tatum was also my mate. How could I just… move on?

Why would I have two matches that were both equally as potent? Two omegas that were worlds apart in personality?

A gentle touch on my face had me blinking and focusing back on Audrey’s mismatched blue eyes. She tipped up the corner of her lips in a smile.

“You’re getting lost in here again,” she said, tapping her finger to my temple. “Don’t slip away from me.”

“I won’t,” I promised. Though, our little bubble we had would have to burst soon. No one, not even Cross was going to keep letting us avoid Dr. Malik or our activities. We were all still technically patients here.

And as far as I knew, Ares was no closer to finding anything that would lead to him truly taking this place down.

“You need me?” Ares asked. Somehow he seemed to know when one of us was struggling. Maybe a bit of pack intuition.

She raised an eyebrow at me, letting me make my own choice. Something about the way she looked at me, challenging, but also understanding, had me letting out a sigh.

“I could use a session,” I said, turning to Ares. He looked surprised, but a smile moved across his face.

“Then come in when you’re ready. We have about an hour before breakfast,” he offered. “If it runs longer, we’ll pause and come back after.”

For a man that came in looking like a drill sergeant, he was soft for us. The moment we stepped out of our wing he was different. Harder. Vigilant. Careful.

I was glad he was on our side. It meant Malik hadn’t tried to force us into anything again.

We’d even had a day when the rest of the building had a medication switch, everyone in their zombie states while we sat among them, uncomfortable and worried.

Ares stood near, chest puffed out, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

The one medical assistant that approached quickly retreated.

Audrey gave my hand one final squeeze as I forced myself to follow him to his office.

He stood and closed the door, waiting for me to pick a chair before finding one nearby. No notebook or anything to distract, just his focus fully on me.

“What has you rattled this morning?” he asked. It was the safest place to start because the answer came easily.

“It was a dream about my daughter. But her voice was fading, laughter echoing but not quite right. I’ve already felt guilty about finding a pack after losing them, but to have the memories fade like that?”

My voice cracked. I looked up expecting to find the same pity I always did. Instead, I was met with confusion.

“I know your wife died in a shooting,” he said gently. “The same one that injured you all…”

“My wife and daughter died,” I corrected, a sob echoing out.

His eyebrows furrowed and he stood, rushing over to his desk and rifling through a folder until he found what he was looking for.

This wasn’t exactly the session I expected. Why was he being so strange?

“Caspian, what exactly did they tell you about the accident? I think it’s really important we’re on the same page here,” he said carefully as he sat, a manilla folder tight in his hands. His knuckles were white as he clutched it, eyes locked on me.

“I don’t remember much from the hospital,” I admitted, lifting my shirt to show him the old scar that was on my abdomen. There was a matching exit wound on the other side. “I took a stray bullet, went clean through and missed anything important. But they… my wife and daughter weren’t as lucky.”

“Who told you that?”

I frowned. What the hell was he on about? Something sparked in my chest. A frantic beat of hope that I had to push down, refusing to break again when it fizzled and died.

“Theo. During intake. I was confused, still disoriented from the medication. When I woke up, he confirmed it. That was when…”

“You retreated within yourself?”

I nodded, tears tracking down my face. “It was the only way I could still be with them. In the memories and fantasies my brain created for me. I could talk to them, touch them. It hurt so much less.”

“Caspian, I’m so sorry. I would have said something sooner had I known,” he said. That had me swiping at my cheeks and looking up at him, trying to figure out what he was apologizing for. “Just… look. And know that I’m here to help you process this.”

He held out the folder in front of me, waiting patiently for me to take it into my own trembling hands. Panic flared in my chest, the nerves burrowing in and holding me hostage.

I wanted to know, desperate to see what he was so unsettled about.

The other side of me was terrified to see what answers it held. I knew they were dead, no secrets or truths would change that.

I’d watched them die.

I squeezed my eyes shut as fresh memories hit me. The sound of the gunshots cutting through the night, screams, the feel of warm blood as it flowed through my hands as I clung to them, Lilly stuck between us as I watched the life drain from Tatum’s eyes.

All of it was still so vivid.

It was unfair that I was losing my good memories while these remained just as fresh and painful as they were all those years ago.

“Caspian. Seriously. Look at it,” he urged, the desperate edge to his deep voice had me meeting his gaze.

“What if it breaks me again?” I whispered.

He shook his head. “I don’t think it will. Not in the way you’re thinking. We’ll call Sarah after.”

My eyes widened, but the mention of my sister had me reaching out. Was she keeping something hidden from me?

The paper was fluttering as my hands shook. Ares dropped to the floor in front of me, hands steadying mine as I finally cracked open the folder.

Medical report. Mine. Gunshot wound.

“Keep going,” he urged.

I flipped the page, a headline in the folder that didn’t make any sense to me.

Senseless shooting ends in devastation, but one hero dad gave us hope

“‘Hero dad?’” I repeated, not understanding.

Ares took out the clipping, his steady voice reading what I couldn’t in the moment.

“Shots were fired on a busy street in downtown Sorento last night. The feral alpha and his pack were quickly detained, but the devastation has left the community shaken. Many lives were lost, and even more citizens injured, but it’s a father’s story that stands out, a beacon of light in a sea of devastation. "

Ares paused, taking a breath and looking at me. More tears were flowing even as my mind was at war.

How was mine a story of hope?

It was my fault they didn’t make it. I was an alpha who couldn’t even protect his omega and their child. Let that vile man steal two precious lives that he was born to protect.

“Stay with me, Caspian,” Ares said.

“Keep going,” I said, needing him to simply rip off the bandage. The urgency had me leaning forward, clinging just as tightly to the folder as I was my sanity.

“Lilly Donovan was sandwiched between her parents, who were at the center of it all. Tatum and Caspian Donovan both took bullets to keep their sweet little girl safe. Unfortunately, the omega lost her life, while father and daughter both were taken to Sorento General Hospital to be treated for their wounds.”

“No, she died there, Ares,” I said, my voice so loud it boomed on the walls. My steady alpha packmate didn’t even flinch as he stared at me.

“No, Caspian. She didn’t.” His voice was firm. “I’ve seen the reports. You both saved your little girl. The bullet that went through you, hit her, but it wasn’t fatal. You felt her blood, she was critical, but alive. You saved her with your body, Caspian. Your little girl is alive because of you .”

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ares,” I said, still unable to wrap my mind around this. My brain was frantically trying to pull up the memories, but my panic and shock were so high it was impossible.

“Look,” he said, holding out the paper clipping and showing me the picture.

There she was.

“My Lilly,” I whispered in shock.

“Your Lilly,” he confirmed. “You signed over custody during intake, Caspian. It’s among the other papers. It never should have been there, but they clearly didn’t care about ethics at the time.”

“Ares. Please.”

He nodded once, moved to his desk and started dialing. It was on speaker, the ringing almost deafening as my entire being focused on that call.

“Hello?” Sarah’s voice was her usual chipper tone. “Is everything okay with Caspian?”

“Yes and no,” Ares said simply. “Sarah. He didn’t know about Lilly. He thought she was dead.”

The silence on the other side was followed by a clatter. It took a second before her flustered voice echoed out again.

“Excuse me? Are you fucking telling me that Theo told him she died?” Sarah hissed angrily. I could picture her pretty face screwed up in pure, unfiltered fury. My sister had a temper.

“He let him believe it,” Ares said. “I had no idea. I’ve tried to only read the necessary notes so I got unbiased info from the source. I only realized all the details in the past few weeks as I read through everything. He mentioned it this morning, but I had no clue he thought they both died.”

“Let me talk to him,” she demanded.

“He’s here, you’re on speaker.”

“Caspian, you listen to me now. I would never have allowed that had I known. They told me that it set you off, that mentioning Lilly or Tatum would set your treatment back,” she said, voice pleading for me to understand.

“She’s alive, Sarah? My baby is alive?” I asked, the words choking on a sob that I couldn't stop.

“She is, Cas. I’ve been taking good care of her for you,” she promised. Her voice was full of tears and pain. “We talk about you every fucking day. You and Tatum both. She’s been begging to talk to you. Can we visit now?”

Ares sighed, his voice strained. My gaze snapped to his in warning. If he thought they were keeping me from my little girl, they were fucking wrong.

I’d do anything to see her again.

“You can video call with her,” he warned. “But according to the state and your records, you are barred from visits. Listed as a danger to her mental health. I will fight it, but it may take a bit of time.”

“Fuck them. I’m her legal guardian. Hell, his, too. How can they deny it if I approve?” she fought, her voice rising and even more lethal now.

“Give me a week. Please. The less waves we make, the easier it will be to get him actually released,” Ares urged.

“This isn’t about what you’re doing here?” I asked, needing to know he wouldn’t put that before us.

“No,” he said, voice firm and eyes locked on me. “I won’t lie and say it doesn’t make things complicated, but my goal is to get you all out. Not just see her and be ripped apart again.”

I sighed, standing and pacing as I rubbed at my aching chest.

Lilly was alive.

I saved her.

Fuck, how did I lose all these years with her?!

“Can you send me pictures, Sarah? I need to see my baby,” I pleaded.

Desperation had me ready to burn this whole building down, but Ares had proven we could trust him. I stopped right in front of him, eyes burning with determination.

“You have one week, Ares. That’s all I have to give.”