Page 3 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Three

Ansel

M ovement next door had me sitting up and holding my breath, listening to the scraping of furniture and melding of voices.

Two male nurses sat outside in the common area when I peeked out, as if they were standing guard.

They were filling the empty room.

Oh god. Not another angry alpha.

My breath caught in my lungs, my pulse thundering through my veins as if even it was trying to escape this hell.

I’d already ended up in a unit with three alphas. The only solace was that they treated me like I was invisible and there was a beta to round it out. Their eyes skipped over me and their voices didn’t bark orders that I had no choice to follow.

They were fixtures in this ward. Tolerated but not trusted.

I’d never trust an alpha.

I closed my eyes at the thought, remnants of memories burning through me at such a fast pace it was impossible to grasp a single one. Angry, barking voices, the sting of unwanted injections, the flush of warmth and clammy skin as I writhed on the ground in pain and desperation.

Hands touching when they had no right.

Spiraling out of control, my choices and safety ripped away over and over again.

Pathetic. Helpless. Vulnerable.

Too small and weak to fight.

“Ansel.” Theo’s voice was a steady harbor in the storm. He urged me back to reality in the quiet way he did when these moments struck.

I was grateful they let me take off the bracelet. That they didn’t calm me with drugs anymore.

“There you are,” he said as I opened my eyes, breathing hard and clinging to my door frame with all my might. Panic clawed its way up my chest and dug into my throat, making it hard to breathe.

I raised a shaking hand and pointed at the formerly-empty room next door. I hadn’t spoken in years despite the annoyance of most of the staff.

Theo, he didn’t press me. At this point, he could read my expressions easily.

He wasn’t as easy to read. His face always had a kind smile, but the way he spoke to the others told me it was a lie. It was practiced. Wrong. As if he was putting on a show at all times.

“Another omega like you,” he answered with a placating smile. “She’s been through a lot. She could use friendly faces when she’s up again.”

There was a familiar sadness in his expression, one I saw when he spoke to us, heard our stories. It was more empathy than pity, which was one of the only reasons I ever spoke to him.

Though, even then, it wasn’t often. Just when they wouldn’t give up and let me stay invisible among our group.

Despite Caspian, Ledger, Kane, Rydell, and I being in this wing for several years together, we knew little about each other. Snippets of stories forced out through gritted jaws and only under the pressure the staff put on us.

The one empty spot seemed to be a revolving door. Betas and alphas coming in and quickly getting shuffled around or disappearing with no explanation.

“She didn’t come in easily,” he said, more of a warning than anything. “Fought the cops and was sedated. She may wake up confused and ready for a fight, so we have Terrance and Luke out here just in case.”

It was more than he should have said but he knew I wouldn’t willingly share that information. I didn’t even speak to alphas unless I had to.

I nodded that I understood and waited for Theo to walk away.

When he didn’t, I let out a sigh.

“You didn’t show up to dinner, Ansel. You know that’s against our rules. Meds and meals on time, every time.”

Of course. We were just zombies, right? Obedient things kept docile with sedatives and enough drugs to tranquilize a fucking bear.

The dining hall was my own personal hell. Full of so many scents and so much fucking anger.

The alphas were just as broken, but half were feral with grief and indignation, their energy filling the space to the point of suffocation.

The betas here barely had any sort of calming energy to bring down the intensity, either.

I shook my head. He pressed his lips together. A sign he was past gentle and moving into frustrated by me. It never took long.

“They can’t hurt you here, Ansel. You’re safe within these walls.”

Sure, as long as we took our meds and played the part of good little patients. We had no choice on the meds Doctor Malik gave us. He would change them, shift doses, put his hands on me when I didn’t fucking ask him to.

There was nothing I could do to stop it. It was just another fresh form of hell.

And if we didn’t comply, it wasn’t without consequence.

Theo wasn’t one to threaten us as often as the guards and nurses, but he still had to follow procedures to keep his job. Plus, I genuinely think he enjoys keeping us in line. The beta liked being above a bunch of alphas and omegas.

Maybe even the few betas here as well.

It was all about power and influence. I’m sure on the outside, in the real world, he was fawned over. The selfless therapist working with all these broken souls. I’m sure he liked that attention.

“You eat or we have a meeting about it,” he warned me again, his voice sharp and louder so I’d listen. “That’s three meals you’ve skipped this week alone, Ansel. It’s too late tonight, dinner is over, but I don’t want this to happen again.”

My head dropped so I was staring at the floor. With a deep breath I forced my eyes to look up at him and nod once.

Understood. I wasn’t stupid enough to think he wouldn’t follow through on that warning. He always backed up his word.

Some days, it was impossible to handle all the noise and it wasn’t like there was a way to shut them all out. Even if I could, their scents were strong enough to overwhelm me.

A slow, steady squeaking had both of us looking to the hallway where they wheeled a girl strapped to a wheelchair down the hall.

Her head lolled, eyes vacant. She’d clearly been hit with the Dr. Malik cocktail from her shiny new bracelet.

The omega’s blonde hair was dirty and limp, smudges of dirt lining every inch of her skin and clothes that I could see. Bandages wrapped around her feet, blood seeping through the white in spots.

It was painfully familiar.

I might not have fought them when I came here, but I was covered in bruises and blood.

Some of us showed our trauma on our skin, others were lost in their heads.

The others slowly started to drift out of their rooms. Kane had a smile on his face as he watched the newcomer join us. His dark dreads swung around him as he shifted in place. For him, his mind blocked the trauma he endured, giving him a constant sway of emotions.

Usually ignorance was bliss and I couldn’t fault him for that.

Wouldn’t we all escape if we could?

Ledger loomed near his door, arms crossed and glaring at the guards. His expression was always angry but he didn’t waft off those awful alpha pheromones. The man was generally in control. He’d have acted his way right out the front doors if not for the court mandate on him.

Rydell was inside his room, leaning against his wall, fists clenched and teeth bared. Feral, they said. I’d been warned when they first placed us but he didn’t scare me like the others.

Maybe because he never really saw me, just looked over me as if I didn’t matter. It was strange, but reassuring.

That didn’t mean I trusted him, just that I could be near him without losing my mind.

I stood frozen on the spot, lingering in my doorway as the others drifted off to the common area and their own rooms.

For some reason I couldn’t move. My gaze watching and waiting for the new girl to wake up.