Page 21 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Seventeen

Audrey

“ M orning medicine time,” Nancy sang out as she waltzed in with her usual chipper exuberance. I was finally starting to get used to her three times a day drop-ins over the last few weeks.

Just not the meds.

She held out a fresh cup of water and a small paper pill cup. I popped the meds into my mouth and swallowed them down, draining the water. My nose wrinkled at the taste.

Now that I was past the nausea and dizziness, and Malik hadn’t given me any more injected meds, I’d settled into a strange calm.

“Good job, Audrey. You’re going to start feeling a lot better any day now,” she promised. The same promise I’d gotten every day since the medication was changed.

It was insane to me how much trust everyone had in Dr. Malik. How could they not see him for what he was?

A monster that toyed with people’s mental health for his own gain and amusement.

Nancy sat out clothes for me and I stood, moving robotically.

My days were full of routine. Meds, meals, group therapy no one spoke a word at, and nightly walks with Ledger or quiet moments with Ansel. Rydell always stood back and Kane wasn’t as present as the rest of us.

Poor Caspian had taken a turn for the worse, barely talking or moving without help. He was a living zombie, trapped only in his head. His scent of sage, honey, and cedar that was so strong and potent the other day, was now edged in a vile, poisonous edge.

Nancy snapped her fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of my head and gestured to the clothes.

“Therapy in five.”

That had me standing up and rushing to change out of my black sweats and soft tee for another set.

All the same.

I slid on my clogs and hurried toward the therapy offices. Theo made it very clear that I had to keep myself on time or else there’d be consequences. After I defied him in the dining hall he’d slowly unraveled, showing more and more of that evil simmering under the mask he wore.

Consequences. A word I heard so many times since being thrown in here but I wasn’t sure what that even entailed outside of sedation.

It was the only real threat I’d witnessed. Was more happening behind closed doors? With patients going missing, I wouldn’t be surprised.

It couldn’t be safe how often they used that fucking bracelet on patients.

I’d seen more than one incident where patients would just drop, no one there to catch them but other patients.

It was as if this place’s main goal was to strip away the humanity from us, and now they only saw us as dolls that were to be moved and manipulated.

If we didn’t think or function, we couldn’t act up, right?

The atrium was already bustling with staff as I rushed through, my anxiety rising the closer I got to the offices.

Fuck, this was going to be close.

The slow, creeping sense of dread rose in me, skittering through my veins and clinging to my chest so it was hard to breathe.

Dr. Malik had asked me if I had anxiety when I first arrived, and I’d lied through my fucking teeth. I’d rather swallow it down than take meds that slowed me down.

Being vulnerable was a hard no for me. Never again.

“Audrey.” My eyes closed in defeat, steps faltering before I spun around to face the director who’d put this damn bracelet on me. The same man who let men like Theo treat patients with no empathy and abused them under an unassuming guise.

Then there was the way Dr. Malik did a mass med change and he didn’t even bat a fucking eye. I hadn’t even seen him in days. The last time was during that temporary lockdown a few weeks ago.

“Yes?” I asked, my voice a harsh rush of air as I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I just wanted to check in. How are you settling?” There was no hint of the placating voice he’d had before. Now it sounded warm and clear, and I hated how soothing it was.

I studied him, waiting for my suspicions to be confirmed. His eyes had crinkles around them like he’d had plenty to laugh about in his life. A soft layer of stubble dusted over his chin, a few shades darker than his honey-colored hair. It made him appear more human. Like he had imperfections, too.

Gray eyes watched me, no hint of anything but patience and calm while he waited for me to answer.

My first instinct was to lie, to give him what he wanted to hear, but when I opened my mouth the truth tumbled out.

“This place is a damn joke.” My voice was even, letting no emotion seep in so he would take me seriously. Maybe someone just needed to lay it all out for him.

I was giving him a chance to fix this. One fucking chance. It was practical, he was really the only one capable of doing a damn thing.

His laughter was laced in shock and confusion. “What?”

“First real session with Theo, and your therapist tells me to face my past, then tries to sedate me when the memories hit and I don’t respond right away.

Not everyone got to have lives of luxury and privilege.

Those memories were blocked for a reason.

How fucking dare you try and knock us out once you open that can of worms? !”

My voice didn’t rise, I was smarter than that. It stayed an angry hiss as I let him have it.

“Your doctor asked questions, sure, but the medicine is given with no explanation to what I’m putting in my body.

We might have trauma and pain, but we aren’t fucking stupid, Director Cross.

We deserve basic respect. I asked multiple times and was outright ignored as he injected me with something that had me spiraling for days. ”

He started to say something but I wasn’t finished with him yet. His mouth snapped shut as I barged ahead.

“Then, Caspian is coherent for the first time since I arrived. He was talking to us, responding, functioning on his own and not just a ghost lingering nearby. Wake up the next day and it’s a mass medication overhaul.

No one was safe that day, Director Cross.

People were zombies in the dining hall, too sick to speak or eat.

I felt awful and just wanted to sink into my bed and never get up. I’m just now coming out of that one.”

He blinked his eyes in horror as my words started to sink in. If he thought this was a simple rant from a disgruntled, but already crazy patient, he was wrong. This was a factual listing of events.

“And where were you, Director? I didn’t see you once during any of it until a patient went missing. Then suddenly you’re here again and ready to keep us safe? While your own staff beats us down in their own twisted ways?”

“I was dealing with the board, there was a funding issue,” he admitted with a sigh. He ran his hands through his hair until it was sticking up. He didn’t deny the truth, and frankly he wasn’t shocked enough for me to truly trust him.

“Well, maybe you need to look more into the shit going on here before more of us go missing when we can’t fight back,” I growled, this time letting my determination bleed in.

“I’ve been through hell, Director Cross.

I’ve faced my share of monsters and lived.

Torture. Forced matings. Bonds forged then brutally torn apart over and over again.

Don’t let this be the place that ends someone who has lived through all of that. ”

His scent swelled past whatever blockers he wore. The comforting scent of old books and leather hit me. It was a luxurious scent that spoke of wealth and contentment.

It didn’t call to me outside of giving me a subtle reassurance. His gray eyes were burning into me, as if he was absorbing and dissecting every truth I gave him and trying to figure out what to do with it.

Maybe this was the exact person to lose my filter with.

Or maybe I was signing off on my own punishment.

“I think we need to have a meeting.”

Then all that hope jumped off a cliff and hit the ground below with a resounding thud, leaving frustration behind. Instead of showing it, I let my numb mask take over.

“I’m already late for therapy. I was told I was to be on time or I would face consequences,” I said in defeat. “If you’ll excuse me.”

It wasn’t a question.

Director Cross sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose much like Theo had done to me last session or anytime I challenged what he said. It made me wonder how much my therapist idolized this man to mimic his movements like that. It was creepy and uncanny.

“What was the punishment?” he was almost afraid to ask. I could see fear and trepidation in his watchful gaze.

I shrugged and held up my wrist. “They never elaborate but I’d assume this, right? Otherwise, why would we wear it?”

“It’s necessary in some cases,” he argued. I could see his confidence coming back. Like this was the one tether holding him to his version of this place.

“And it’s never abused?” I demanded. That was the issue. Treatment should never be one size fits all. We’d all faced very different horrors and pain.

That left him staring at me again, as if he was really seeing me. I was lifting the thin veil on everything he assumed was happening here and showing him all the shadows that had seeped in past him.

That couldn’t be an easy pill to swallow. I held no pity for him. He had been complacent for too long and now, he had to face it head on.

“Let me walk you to that session. After that, I’ll have a staff meeting and check back in with you,” he promised. “I’m not letting this go, Audrey. You have my word.”

Empty. That’s all his promises were.

I didn’t give him an answer. Instead, I turned and continued on to the meeting. Director Cross fell back several paces so it was almost like we weren’t walking together. It was an obvious attempt to observe and I was glad to have him at my back.

Theo was harmless at first, then he made me cautious. Now, he scared me. That kind of anger was unpredictable. If he thought I was slighting him, then there would be consequences this time.

He was itching to punish me.

Especially, since I was now several minutes late.

The small reception desk inside the office was empty when I walked in. Great, he’d cleared the office.