Page 13 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Eleven

Audrey

“ S omeone is here to visit, Audrey,” Nancy said as she bustled in the room. “Up and at ‘em. Meds first, of course.”

She held out the two cups, one with water, one with the pills that I was forced to take. Still no explanation of what I was putting into my body, just ‘here, bottoms up’ and I was expected to not protest.

And I didn’t.

I took both, swallowing down the pills and drowning them in water. The bitter taste lingered on my tongue for a few seconds after, making me wrinkle my nose.

“They might taste bad, but they’re effective,” Nancy chuckled. “You’re much more coherent than when we first brought you in.”

My memory of that day was still a bit fuzzy, but I remembered my pack there… before they walked away. Were they here to explain?

Were they the ones who saved me from that awful place? Would they do the same now?

“Is it my pack?”

She frowned. Then my brain woke up more, a reminder of the gardening and all the revelations I had sinking back in, reminding me that they were never mine.

“No… it’s your parents,” she said carefully. Something in her eyes changed. She was careful now, like she was dealing with something fragile, glancing at me like I was crazy and about to turn aggressive at any second.

I sighed, but didn’t dwell on Nancy.

My parents were here. They felt like strangers now.

I got dressed and ready for my day mechanically, following instructions from Nancy and letting her lead me to the lobby.

“There’s a visitation room just up here,” she explained as she led me toward a set of doors just off the main entrance.

My palms were so sweaty, heart pounding rapidly, that I shifted uncomfortably just outside of the door.

“They’re excited to see you,” she reassured me. It must be nice to have such a stable life that you thought the best of people. Assumed everyone and everything had good intentions.

I didn’t trust them anymore. They never found me. Hell, they didn’t even keep me when they did.

Maybe that wasn’t fair, but the resentment was strong. I suffered for over ten years while they lived their lives.

When I was out, we met again briefly. But I had a pack and I didn’t feel safe with them.

I still didn’t. Not from their first reaction in the hospital that day.

My brain burned that image into my memories so it never faded. Mom’s look of absolute horror, the way she was afraid to touch me, shifted uncomfortably to get away, and left the moment she could. My fathers doing the same.

I was tainted to them.

When I still hadn’t budged, Nancy moved around me to open the door, gently guiding me inside to face the three people sitting around a table. It was cold in here, like a conference room with stark, white paint and cold, metal furniture.

Their rigid postures weren’t helping. Clearly, they didn’t want to be here.

“My baby,” mom said with a simpering tone. Her blonde hair was woven into a braid hanging to one side, her dress something more fitting for church than a visit here. She was always going on about posture and perception, the two p’s, to impress others.

I sat, not saying a word as my eyes skimmed to my dads. They all were staring at me, almost cautious.

There was no real love or understanding to be found.

“Why are you here? Where is my pack?” They looked taken aback by my question. Offended, even.

“We’re your parents,” my alpha dad started, that same voice that was always backing up the insane strict rules my mom enforced.

“And I’m an adult, and until my time here is up, not your problem anymore.”

“That little stunt of yours ended up on the news, you know,” mom sniffed, as if she was barely containing tears. They were fake. Her eyes were full of annoyance. “That pack claims they aren’t yours, and that you stalked them.”

My alpha dad leaned in. “You sent them omega underwear, where did you even get that?”

My lips curled into a grin. That was one memory that was unclouded.

It took only one afternoon in a laundromat for that to work.

I was just a clumsy, little omega, no one looked at me twice.

I wanted to chase her off of them, to reclaim what was mine.

They were my pack, not hers. If only I wasn’t turned away every time I tried to approach them.

“I told you we shouldn’t have come,” my beta dad grunted, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. The real kicker was he was my biological dad of the group… I even had his eyes. Or eye, rather, the darker one was identical to his.

Just not his parental love, I guess.

“You’re lucky to be here,” my alpha dad ground out through gritted teeth. “The pack you terrorised is paying for you. A gesture that’s far too kind when you act like this.”

The words hit me right in the chest. I thought it was odd when I learned that this was a private pay facility. I never expected them to pay for it. I’d heard them bitching about the cost of the outpatient ones, I couldn’t imagine something this elaborate.

Guilt bubbled up at the thought of that pack being so kind after all I did, but it was overshadowed by the pain of my family treating me like I didn’t deserve compassion or kindness.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve put us through? We’re here to make sure you’re getting better and you act like this?”

Mom’s words hit me like a hard slap to the face.

“What I put you through?” I gasped, her words stunning me enough that shocked laughter escaped. “You?”

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant. No need for dramatics.”

I bared my bite marks for them, showing them the visual representation of my pain that they couldn’t ignore.

“I put you through hell? Well, too fucking bad. I lived it. Ten years of being used, abused, and close to death. Forced to mate for them, enduring pain and horrors you couldn’t fucking imagine.

Then my pack tossed me aside. But sure, the gossip is too much for you to handle. ”

I stood as they stammered out their half-assed apologies and admonishments. Neither one something I planned to listen to as I pushed out of the door, heading straight for director Cross’ office.

My knock was loud enough it echoed in the room. He flung the door open, stopping short at the sight of me.

“Audrey, what’s wrong?”

“Can I take visitation off the table? I don’t want any visitors,” I said firmly. That even extended to my pack. Not that I thought they’d come for me.

For a brief moment I felt reality clawing at that response. Trying to remind me of something but I couldn't figure out what. I was foggier today.

His eyes went from me to the family I once trusted. They were soothing my mom, of course, and shooting me daggers in the process.

“They’ve made it clear I’ve put them through too much. I’d hate to have them endure even hearing about my trauma and recovery.”

Anger flashed in his eyes for a moment. He nodded once, before gesturing for me to sit inside. I took a seat as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Silent tears started to fall as they argued. Voices echoed in the hall, most sounding angry and indignant. The bickering went on forever, even as it faded out the front entrance.

When Director Cross opened the door again he let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Audrey. Usually we don’t allow drop-in visits. I don’t know how this happened but I will get to the bottom of it. In the meantime, they threw this out of the truck before driving away.”

He held up a small black case. My heart thumped in my chest, eyes widening at the sight.

My violin. The one thing I regretted never picking up again. It was the one piece of me that I remembered, that I thought of more as my mind cleared.

Music is how I survived that awful place, raspy quiet songs I sung to myself to keep myself from drowning in pain and depression.

“Can I keep it?”

“Yes. According to your team, you’ve not shown any sign of violence or outbursts, but don’t make us regret this decision, please,” he said as he sat behind his desk. “Or we’ll be forced to take it away.”

I nodded quickly. “Of course. I won’t.”

Before he could second guess it I snatched up the case and nearly ran for my room. I closed the door behind me and laid it on the bed. My fingers shook as I unlatched the case, lifting the lid to reveal my violin.

It was still just as beautiful as I remembered. The oak was clearly freshly polished. Someone let guilt get to them. At least it led to something good for once.

They were dying for me to react to them, to fall into their arms and thank them for waiting for me, for doing something kind like this.

I wasn’t that little girl anymore. Their approval meant nothing to me. Not when they weren’t even a safe place when I was back home.

They tiptoed around me and acted like I had some sort of disease they could catch from just being close.

I even heard my mom saying ‘who knows what she could have caught there,’ like I hadn’t been cleared by doctors before even being discharged from the hospital. I had too much healing to do to come home right away.

It was a miracle I even lived.

I wasn’t sure if they agreed.

My fingers skimmed along the surface, testing out the feel before picking it up. I held my breath as I lifted it into place, resting it against my chin and shoulder. The way it felt right and made my omega perk up, was nearly enough to bring me to my knees.

Instead, I packed it back up and practically ran to the conservatory. It was nearly empty, only a few people milling around. It took me mere seconds to find Val but I was about to burst.

The tingling in my fingers, demanding that I hold my violin up and play, was enough to drive me crazy.

“Val!”

He startled, turning and grinning when he saw it was me.

“Couldn’t get enough of my plants, could you? I knew this was where you were needed,” he said like the sage old man he was. The sparkle in his eyes was there and I realized he was the first staff to look at me like a person, not a problem.

“Can I play violin in here?”

His eyebrows rose before he noticed the case in my hand. A faraway look settled in his eyes at the sight.

“I reckon you can as long as you’re good? Don’t go screeching that bow over those strings or these pretty, little flowers might wilt. How about we test it out, outside?”

“Sure,” I said, turning and rushing for the door, a spark of something fluttering in my chest. I already was sitting on the grass, violin in place, and testing out if it was tuned properly by the time he walked out.

He stood nearby, a calm smile on his face as I finally rolled my shoulders then put the bow to the strings.

I didn’t overthink or conjure up what I’d play, I let muscle-memory alone guide me. It was as naturally as breathing for me, it always had been.

The haunting melody that filled the air had peace washing through me. It melted away the awful feelings of inadequacy my family brought out and revived something in me I thought was lost.

My memory wasn’t gone, simply locked away, and I was recovering it piece by piece. Whatever he’d done to my medication wasn’t going to best me or send me back into that delusion. I was in control.

I had to be.

As the song crested into something powerful, I felt a smile rise on my face. I felt strong, like I could face anything.

Then it came to a soft, lilting end.

When I blinked open my eyes, Val was beaming down at me. He clapped his hands as a shocked laugh came out.

“Now, missy, I didn’t see that one coming.

You’re a professional with that thing and I think the flowers would thrive with you around to play for them.

You come on in anytime you want. If anyone gives you trouble, you tell them to speak to me,” he said as his clapping came to an end.

I didn’t remember a single time in my life that anyone looked at me with pride.

He did. This man never looked down on me and now he was beaming.

My chest warmed and my smile matched his. He gave me one final nod, sensing I needed a moment, and walked away.

Even after he went inside, I sat there in shock. I felt a little more whole now. My memories were coming back, my brain settling, and I had at least one piece of my former self now.

At least my family was good for something.