Page 27 of Petals and Strings (Broken Melodies #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Audrey

I nstead of folding in on myself, I found myself walking through the halls in search of Ansel. He hadn’t come back after his therapy session and I was finding myself terrified when I couldn’t see someone in our little group.

Pack , my omega side supplied unhelpfully. No matter if it felt like one, how could it be in a place like this?

His scent hit me first. That alluring scent of blood orange, jasmine, and burning wood. A mix of sweetness and soft masculinity.

I breathed him in as I rounded the corner in the library to find my omega nestled on one of the couches, book in hand but eyes distant, book long forgotten. His soft dark hair was brushed back like he’d shoved it out of his face before zoning out.

“Ansel,” I said quietly as I approached, afraid to startle him. Those deep, piercing eyes flickered to me and he blinked a few times to clear away wherever his head had been. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I had Eleanor today, so we didn’t get anywhere, but after that group therapy session with Trinity the other day, I can’t shake the memories as easily,” he admitted, putting the book aside and opening his arms as if he just knew I needed the touch.

We both did.

I didn’t hesitate to spread out on the couch with him, resting my head on his lap. Not even thinking, I pressed my nose to his stomach where I rested, breathing in deep. A soft giggle escaped as I accidentally tickled him, the sound making me smile.

It was so easy with this omega. At first he was standoffish, but the moment we gave in and connected it was like we’d been together for years.

We weren't labeled. Neither of us even talked about what happened, but we also didn’t let anything linger around to ruin it. We touch, stay close, and focus on healing.

His fingers teased through my hair, combing through the waves and draping them behind me with each layer he combed through.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered against the silence.

“Seeing you bring your past up had me wanting to,” he admitted. “I think working up to that courage is what has been bothering me. Watching you took that away. You make me feel stronger.”

“It’s just us here,” I said gently as I shifted my hands under his shirt, finding his skin. He was warm under my palms, the feeling grounding me as I prepared to hear the horrors he’d endured.

He didn’t start right away. His eyes were locked across the room, seeing something I couldn’t. I simply stroked his skin, reminding him I was here. I hoped the touch would give him something to focus on when he spoke.

“My entire life I was an anomaly. My scent wasn’t bad to anyone. As a child that worked in my favor. School was easy, everyone was nice, then as I got older and came into my omega side, it shifted. Their attention turned from friendly into interested, even when I wanted no part of it.”

“Did your family protect you?” I asked though I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

“They hated that I drew attention to them. The true scope of my scent really came in after my designation kicked in. Then it was even more potent. My own mom got jealous of all the attention. They kicked me out,” he said as his hands stilled in my hair. “I wasn’t even old enough to be on my own.”

His voice finally broke. I fucking hated that I couldn’t take away his pain.

At least I could give it space between us, find a place for it to fit into our lives as it slowly evolved into something that gave him strength.

He took a breath and forged ahead. I understood the need to get it all out at once. It was easier to face that way.

The relief after was indescribable. To know that someone else sees you despite everything you’d been through, to know it doesn’t define you.

“After that I went to an omega shelter. I’d befriended an alpha who worked there. I thought he wanted to keep me safe, but really he just saw a way to make money and jumped at it. Especially when we realized suppressants wouldn’t work,” he said, an angry, sharp edge to his voice.

“He sold you,” I guessed.

Ansel nodded, his fingers resuming playing with my hair as I wrapped my arms around his middle, holding him through this.

“They took me the night after I visited the clinic. I was lost and confused. I’d confided in him that the meds weren’t working for my scent or hormones.

I went to bed that night, though I don’t even remember going back to my room.

When I woke up, I was shackled. I’d barely opened my eyes when I was thrown in the outer ring of this fighting arena. ”

“That’s fucked up,” I whispered into him, squeezing him tighter yet.

“It was a terrifying building. The floor was cement, old rust colored blood and grime etched into them. Scents were mixed together to the point of being suffocating. I could barely breathe.”

He shuddered, but my strong, little omega continued on.

“There were metal wire fences running around the crowd, cutting me off from them. Then another one on the opposite side for the fights. I was sandwiched between the two, they couldn’t quite reach me but they fucking tried. I could feel them getting close to me, my omega recoiling each time.”

“I know that feeling,” I whispered. He met my gaze, a sad smile on his face.

“I hate that you understand. At the same time, it feels less isolating,” he admitted.

“That’s how I feel, too,” I reassured him before he could feel guilty.

“That first shot was pure hell. It was like fire in my veins as it coursed through me, my scent even overwhelming to me, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to the alphas around me.”

“That sounds like the heat drugs they gave me. I can still feel that,” I said as I nuzzled my cheek against him, scent marking him and settling us both.

“I’ve never had a heat,” he admitted. “The doctors thought something was wrong with my hormones, or with me.”

“There’s nothing fucking wrong with you, Ansel. Just like there’s nothing wrong with my body when I didn’t get pregnant during any of those failed bonds. Omegas need to feel safe and secure sometimes to function properly. I think that’s what happened to both of us.”

His brows furrowed as he let that sink in. “But how could our bodies fight those drugs? They’re designed to affect our biology.”

“My omega retreated,” I explained. “I think that’s part of it. Kind of like when late-bloomers are dormant for longer. Their designation remains hidden and along with that, all the things the designations bring. Do you feel yours?”

He let out a startled laugh. “Not really. I never considered that. When everyone reacted so badly, I kind of pushed him away.”

“That makes sense. Maybe over time he’ll come back.”

“Maybe,” he said, considering it. “I’ve been afraid to let him have space. What if I go into heat?”

“If you did, I’d help,” I told him.

“I’m too much for one person,” he admitted. “Truthfully, I don’t even want one. If I could have my omega and not have a heat, that’s the path I’d choose. I don’t want to feel like I’m half a person, but I don’t think I could handle that.”

“What about my heats? How would that look if we became a pack?” I asked gently. “The alphas would be there.”

“I’d like to be around,” he said. I appreciated that he was thinking it over, considering it, instead of hiding from reality. “I could help keep you guys fed, hydrated. Maybe have some time with you while they rest or eat. I don’t have a knot but I’d like to still be with you in some ways.”

“That sounds nice,” I agreed, sharing a smile with my omega. This was big. He was starting to trust our pack.

He sighed, his smile falling. “I’m sorry I make it difficult. It’s just…”

“We aren’t broken or wrong, Ansel. We survived in the only way we knew how. Our omegas kept parts of us safe, parts they couldn't ruin. It might take work, but we’ll figure it out.”

His eyes widened as the words sank in. It was like that moment he gave me control, letting a new part of himself free that they couldn’t take away or ruin. He was accepting that sometimes our trauma breaks us, but not forever.

That we could heal.

If this fucking place lets us.

“You’re better for therapy than all the therapists I’ve seen here,” he said as he gently ran a hand down my face, smiling down at me like I was his entire world.

It was new and strange, but not as unwelcome as I expected. I liked that he saw me as something precious and strong. That I could ground him in the same ways he did for me.

He finally broke our moment and continued, as if the need to get his story was too strong to stay silent.

“Those years were a cycle of heat-inducing meds every weekend, my scent turning every alpha in the room into a rabid beast, and constant fights. The fights grew more brutal, my scent reacting differently each time. The blood sprayed over me and mountainous men fought against the cage and each other, ripping their opponents apart and sometimes themselves. I’m talking breaking bones with their bare hands, splitting skin and pounding flesh until it was unrecognizable. ”

“That sounds brutal,” I admitted, my stomach turning at the descriptions.

“I guess they didn’t care to make sure that the cage stayed reinforced.

One night, an alpha broke free. He ripped the cage open, metal tearing easily against his rut.

He bit me the moment he reached me. I was cornered with nowhere to go, no escape, and the guys running it took their time getting in.

They didn’t care that he was about to maul their biggest ticket seller.

He forced the bond before they had a chance to take him down.

He died before the medical team could break it, meaning he took a piece of me with him. ”

Fuck.

He started to slip away from me, his eyes going vacant and I couldn’t let that happen.

“I always heard growing up that we had to bite them back, but I learned over and over that my consent or mark didn’t matter. That a half-bond was enough to break me.”

He nodded in agreement, swiping away a tear that was falling down my cheek.