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Chapter Twenty-Three

LETTING MY HEART LEAD THE WAY

~~Levi~~

Junie has become my rock, my obsession, and my everything in a short amount of time. It’s possible she’s been that to me since we met, and I was too focused on not getting attached to see it.

I’m worried about what’s going on with the sabotage and missing items. No one knows how far this jerk will go or if he or she might be dangerous. I’m reluctant to leave her tomorrow as my concern deepens. I don’t know what this person’s end game is, but no matter how I look at it, it’s not good. Whether it’s the team, or Junie, or some other catalyst that’s sent this person on a revenge rampage, the results are all the same: damage Junie’s reputation with the team, throw the team off their game, and create chaos among staff. The reasons don’t matter as much as the outcome.

I leave the kitchen and attempt to steer my thoughts in a different direction. Junie has work to do, and I have a game to prepare for, though I’m an hour or two earlier than usual. I hang out in the weight room, tape multiple sticks, and sharpen my skates. I’m meticulous about my edges. They’re what allows me to turn on a dime and come to a full stop in a split second.

Junie should have the pregame meal ready by now, so I head back to the players’ lounge. I may have hung with her a few hours ago, but I’m looking forward to seeing her again before the game. I can’t get enough of this woman. She’s my good-luck charm, and seeing or speaking with her before a game is mandatory in my eyes.

I hurry down the hall just as the elevator swishes open and a very pregnant Caroline Black steps out. She’s holding her midsection with one hand and her purse with the other.

I pause and smile in her direction. She scowls, not happy to see me at all. I don’t know Caro well, but she’s Junie’s best friend, which makes her doubly important to me.

Prior to my dumbass breakup move, Junie and I didn’t hang out with her friends, other than large groups of teammates after games and for special occasions. Things have changed, and I want Caroline to like me. I’ll do my best to win her over.

I know from Junie that Caro’s uncomfortable and cranky, so I persuade myself her scowl is nothing personal.

“Hi, Caroline. How are you doing today?” My forced cheerfulness doesn’t hit the mark.

She glares at me. “How does it look like I’m doing? My feet are killing me. My back hurts. I’m fat, and I’m tired. I can’t sleep. Sorry you asked?”

“A little,” I admit, trying to make a joke of it. She glowers with irritation. Okay, this isn’t going well.

“We need to talk.” It’s not a request but an order.

This doesn’t sound good. I glance around, hoping one of the guys might walk by, and I’ll use them for an excuse to get out of this. I’m not that lucky. The hallway is deserted.

“Sure.”

She leads me down the hall to the press room, which is currently unoccupied, and lowers herself carefully into a chair. The poor woman looks as though she’s going to have quadruplets.

“What can I do for you?” I ask with a tentative smile. I have no idea where this is going, but if her expression is any indicator, I’m in deep shit.

Caroline narrows her gaze and dissects me as if I’m a science experiment. I try not to squirm but fail miserably. I don’t sit down because I don’t plan on being around this hostile woman any longer than necessary.

“Junie likes you. I mean, really likes you. What are your feelings for her?”

Caught off guard by her bluntness, I step back a few steps. I’m not sure why. It’s not as if this overly pregnant woman is any match for a fit, young hockey player.

“I’m still figuring that out.” I answer honestly, and I hope she can appreciate that, but by her grimace, she doesn’t.

“You’re young. You have plenty of time to settle down later. Right now, you’re all about partying and having a good time.”

“I was.”

“And what’s changed?”

I consider her question because I haven’t answered it for myself yet. “Me. I want something different in my life. Right now, it seems, you know, empty.”

Her scowl fades somewhat, and I relax slightly, but I don’t let my guard down.

“I’m no younger than you and Easton were when you got back together.”

She shrugs. “We had kids. That makes a person grow up fast.”

“I can only imagine.”

“I don’t want to see Junie hurt. She’s my best friend, and I’m protective of her. She doesn’t make good choices when it comes to men, and I’ve been there through every one of them. What makes you different?”

“For one, I’m not an abuser, emotionally or physically.”

Her gaze bores into me as she waits for me to say more.

“I’m blundering my way through this. I’ll make mistakes, but I assure you, my intentions are good.”

“What are your intentions?”

I walked right into that one. My and my big mouth.

“I don’t know. I missed Junie after I broke up with her. I was adrift at sea during a storm with no one coming to save me. I told myself all the things you probably think about me—that I’m too young to be tied to one woman, too immature, too much of a partier. Junie’s already gone through the party stage and probably is ready for something more meaningful. Our age difference could be an issue. I used all those excuses. Even though I attempted to move on, I couldn’t. Do you know what that’s like?”

She softens slightly. “I do. Why did you break up with her in the first place? Seems like the two of you had a good thing going.”

“We did.” I contemplate how much to tell her, considering some of this I haven’t told Junie. “I felt we were getting too serious, on the verge of something scary and real. I escaped because I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” She’s puzzled, and I’m not articulating this well. Revealing my deepest feeling is not my superpower, more like my kryptonite.

“Of myself. Of falling and getting hurt. In my world, when I care about someone, that person always stabs me in the back and guts me.”

“Like who?”

Easton’s wife doesn’t give up. She’s a rat terrier on the scent. “My mom. My sister. My stepfather. Anyone I allow close except for my teammates. They’re the exception.”

“You’ve never been in love before? Not even a teenage crush?”

“Never allowed myself to be.”

“Are you falling in love with Junie?”

Am I? Is this what I’m feeling? This driving desire to protect her, to make her laugh, to bask in the glow of her presence? Is that love? I never tire of her. I laugh when she laughs and struggle when she struggles. When I’m on a road trip, I’m consumed with seeing her again, touching her, being there for her.

I glance up to find Caroline scrutinizing me.

“I might be. I do know my life is better with her in it and empty when she isn’t there.”

Caroline nods sagely as if she knows exactly what I’m talking about. She probably does, based on what I’ve heard about Easton and her. They loved, lost, and found each other. I’ve spent enough time in their company to witness their mutual deep affection and respect. So many of my teammates seem to have found that special someone, and I want what they want.

“I don’t know how love feels.”

“You’ll figure it out.” She attempts to stand. I reach out a hand to help. “Thank you.”

“I appreciate the friendship you’ve given Junie over the years.”

“We’ve both been there for each other.” She looks me up and down as if seeing me for the first time. “You’re okay, but if you ever hurt her again, I’ll personally pay for the assassin.”

I hold my hands up palms out. “Understood.”

“Good. Nice talking to you. Now I need to find some pickles and ice cream as soon as possible.”

I open the door for her, and she waddles down the hall toward the players’ lounge. I follow since that’s where I’m going. I feel good about our discussion. I may have won her over, and that’s important to me because Caroline Black is important to Junie.

We lose a heartbreaker of a game in overtime after leading three to zero in the third. Everyone is numb with shock. Tomorrow, we fly to Dallas for game seven. It’s do or die time.

The team files off the ice, the ultimate examples of dejection, heads down, shoulders slumped, frowns firmly in place. As a group, we took our foot off the gas pedal and allowed Dallas to get back into this game. Every one of us is responsible for this loss. We got cocky and thought we could coast to a win. Dallas snuck up from behind and tied the game with three quick goals in under two minutes.

We fucking blew it.

I shower, dress, and enter the players’ lounge. I’m starving and need Junie to wipe away the pain and frustration I’m currently feeling. Only her smile and support are capable of doing that.

She’s serving burgers and fries to a couple veteran players when I walk in and take a place in line. I study her like a thirsty man spotting an oasis in the desert. I’m not sure if she’s real or a mirage, but I’m hell-bent on finding out.

Glancing briefly in my direction, she winks before turning back to Wild, who’s currently standing at the front of the line. That one smile erases most of the pain of the past few hours. My heart soars with joy despite the loss. No matter what happens, I have Junie.

“What is this?” Wild asks as he stares at his plate.

“Deluxe smashburger with homemade fries.” I hear the forced cheerfulness in Junie’s voice.

“I thought you were serving salmon and oysters.” Bryce scowls, clearly not happy with the meal.

“I’m sorry. We had a change in plans.”

“Another fucking change in plans?” mutters someone from behind me. I turn and send a laser glare in Landon’s direction. He quickly stares down at his feet.

“I can get a burger anywhere.” Bryce turns and addresses several of the guys standing by. “Anyone want to join me at the Waterfront Steak and Seafood House for dinner?”

“I will.” Cave raises his hand. “I’m salivating for a good steak to drown my sorrows. This won’t do it.”

Several other guys express interest and soon the lounge empties out. Junie blinks back tears, and I fight the inclination to beat the crap out of my teammates for upsetting her. She’s doing her best considering the circumstances. They don’t know what’s happening, and I’m not at liberty to tell them, but I still might.

“Are you okay?” I approach her. “I think the burgers look great.”

“It doesn’t matter how you dress them up. They’re still burgers.” Junie sniffs and looks away. “I’m a failure at this job. Maybe I should step down and let Maddie take over.”

“Don’t talk like that. Besides, you’d be playing right into Maddie and Celeste’s hands if you demote yourself. None of this is your fault.”

“Does it matter? It’s happening under my watch.”

“Yes, it matters. Junie, you’re an incredible cook. Did you ever stop to consider that the guys were disappointed because your steaks and seafood far surpass the majority of good restaurants in this town. They were looking forward to a good meal after a crappy game.”

“You really think my steaks are that good?”

“They are,” I assure her.

“Thank you.” She brightens before sobering again. “I’m sorry about the game. Tough loss.”

“Yeah, we fucked up. No one to blame but ourselves. The entire team backed off the pressure, and Dallas took advantage before we knew what hit us. They caught us sitting back on our heels and were relentless in their attack in the third period.”

“You’ll get the next one.”

We both know how hard that’ll be on Dallas’s home ice. They’re tough enough to play without the added advantage of their large, boisterous crowd.

Junie glances around the empty lounge with a sigh. “The only good thing about this night is you.”

“Ditto.”

I lean in and kiss her. I mean every word, but a warning chill slithers down my spine. My old, ever-present fear of getting too close pushes to the forefront. I’m going to be hurt for trusting and allowing my heart to lead the way.

Or am I?