Page 21

Chapter Twenty-One

I AM YOUR FANTASY

~~Levi~~

Junie’s reaction to my heavy-handed ultimatum is probably deserved, yet I’m hurt by her retort, even if it’s expected. She’s a strong woman, and women like her don’t take kindly to being forced into making decisions. I know better. I’ll respect her wishes and not tell management, but if the sabotage continues, I may have to take matters into my own hands no matter how angry it’ll make her. This person isn’t letting up, and they need to be taken seriously.

I don’t have time to fret over my and Junie’s relationship. I have a game to play, a very important game. Tonight, one team will move to three and two, which puts them only one win away from advancing to the next round. Dallas swept their series. They’re taking a long rest and waiting for the winner of our series.

I ignore the grumbling in the locker room about the lack of the usual pregame staples. I understand why guys are upset, but my inclination is to defend Junie. The only way I can do that is to reveal her secret, and she’s made it clear how she feels about that.

I keep my mouth shut and feel like shit for doing so. This is one of those situations I can’t win no matter which way I go. If only there were something I can do to help, but I’ve already done enough.

I glance over at Ice’s stall. His expression is dark, and he’s clearly brooding. Of all the guys on the team, the captain hates having his routine disrupted.

I sigh deeply and continue my pregame prep, keeping my head down and trying to concentrate on the game ahead rather than Junie’s predicament. We’ll deal with this shit after the game, starting with an apology from me.

“What’s up with Junie?” Felix asks as he sits down at his stall near mine.

“Nothing. Why?”

Felix gives me that look. He’s clearly exasperated. “Running out of two items which are pregame musts for many of the guys. That’s not like her.”

I raise my head from taping my stick. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“Yeah, this is big. We’re in the playoffs.”

“I know. I’m sure it won’t happen again.”

Felix regards me with an indiscernible frown before getting back to the business of suiting up. I do the same, but I’m troubled. I can’t shake this dark, foreboding cloud hanging overhead.

From the second we take the ice, it’s crystal clear the team is off tonight. The captain actually fell on his ass during warm-ups and skidded into Vick, whom he sent flying into the net.

Vick starts the game, but there’s clearly something wrong with him. He lets two easy shots into the net that he should be able to stop in his sleep. By the time the horn sounds at the end of first period, we’re down three-zero.

The locker room is unusually quiet. Even Coach Gorst doesn’t say much, as if he’s aware that words won’t help.

I sit at my stall with my head in my hands. I’m not playing well either. In fact, my entire line is off kilter. We’re a step behind when passing. Our shots wouldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. We’re woefully slow when it comes to shift changes.

After he allows their fourth goal, Vick is replaced by Jaden. The game goes from bad to worse, and we lose seven to zero. It’s an embarrassing loss. Gorst chews out our asses in the locker room. He’s disgusted and rightfully so.

“What the fuck is this? Seven to zero? That’s a fucking football score. You boys played like a beer-league team. Not a Stanley Cup contender. We can’t afford any more games like this, or we’re all taking an early summer vacation. From what I saw out there, seems as if most of you are already sunning yourself on the beach.”

As a group, we hang our heads, ashamed by how badly we fell apart.

After Coach leaves the room, and we wallow in our own misery, I hear muttering about the food options. While I know guys aren’t completely blaming Junie for the loss, several obviously believe she’s a contributing factor.

The postgame meal is sparsely attended. Most of the guys chose to drag their tired, discouraged asses home instead. Junie’s devastated. I know she blames herself, and nothing I say changes that.

Neither of us are in the mood for sex that night, which might be a first. Instead, I hold her in my arms, and we are present in the moment, no words needed.

“It’s my fault.” She buries her head in my bare chest, and I feel her words vibrate through my body.

“That’s not so.”

“They blame me. Even Ice blames me.”

“No, they don’t.”

“You’re lying, and I know it. They do blame me.”

I sigh. Junie deserves the truth. “Maybe a little as a contributing factor, but it’s just one of those nights. Every team has them.”

“And I set the tone for the rest of the evening with my food shortages.”

I stroke her silky hair and consider my words carefully. “I won’t bullshit you. Routine is important to hockey players, but you didn’t lose the game. We lost the game. No matter what happens, we’re professionals and need to rise above any inconveniences or setbacks.”

She lifts her head to meet my gaze. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

Junie laughs and gives me a playful punch in the arm. “You just keep thinking that.”

“I will. Let me have my fantasies.”

“I not only let you have your fantasies, I am your fantasy.”

No argument from me on that subject.