Page 140 of Pack Choice

I concentrate on breathing. Ignoring the drum in my head, a relentless voice warning of doom and gloom, visions of smashed up cars torturing me.

“Home stretch now. Come on, sweetheart. You can watch this bit. It’s straight and wide and nothing’s going to happen.”

“Promise?” I whisper.

“Promise.”

Gingerly I lift my head and twist in his lap, my eyes landing on a dazzling red racing car, resplendent in the sunlight, thundering down the track towards us. The noise of the crowd grows louder still and our box seems to vibrate with the noise.

As he flies closer, I stand up, drawn to the vision of River Caspian driving like a lightning bolt. Harper runs to stand next to me and I lift her up so that we can both crane our necks to watch as the alpha thunders across the finish line.

“Yes!” I yell, jumping up and down as Harper does the same, clinging onto my hands and laughing.

“Did he win?” Harper asks. “Did Uncle River win?”

“No, girls he didn’t win,” Colt says.

“What?” I gasp, my mouth falling open in disbelief. “There were no cars in front of him and–”

“That was just the first lap. There are forty-nine more to go.”

“What?” I groan, feeling a little faint.

Colt peers up at the clock. “Damn that was a fast lap time. If he keeps that up, he’ll smash the record.”

“By several seconds,” Ford says, “the man drives like he’s on fire.”

“He lives his whole damn life like it’s on fire,” Colt mutters, eyes fixed to the rapidly disappearing car of his best friend.

I sway on my feet.

Ford rests his hand on my shoulder. “Having second thoughts about this pack?” he whispers so Harper can’t hear.

“No,” I say, “it’s just …” It’s just I really wish there was somewhere I could bake some cookies.

Somehow, though, I make it through the next forty-nine laps with a combination of snuggles from my other two alphas, stuffing my face with food, and playing several competitive games of Uno with Harper. And when River finally does win the race, it’s not just me and Harper jumping for joy, Colt and Ford do too.

Ford even swings me around until I’m dizzy and he’s laughing his head off.

For the first time in a long time, I feel so happy, I forget about the pain in my heart. I forget about my loss. I don’t dwell on the past. I live completely in the moment, utterly lost in it as River climbs out of his car and blows me kisses.

38

Colten

“That one,”Harper says, pointing at a children’s fairground ride with trains, buses and motorbikes.

“Really?” I say, gripping her hand tight in mine. Everywhere I look the streets crawl with people and, despite old soldier boy and three of River’s security personnel flanking our sides, I’m not taking any chances. It would be so easy to lose Harper in this crowd. “You wouldn’t prefer that one?” I point instead to an old-fashioned carousel, rimmed in gold, unicorns spinning in circles around its base.

“Nope, I want to be a racing car driver like River.” She yanks on my arm and I peer at Molly with a can-you-believe-this-kid look. Molly smiles.

“Has he ever let you in his racing car?” she asks Harper. River’s still tied up in post-race interviews and debriefs.

“Yes, I’ve sat on his lap and beeped the horn, but daddy wouldn’t let Uncle River drive me around.”

“No way,” I say.

We join the line for the ride and watch other small children spin around on fire trucks and police cars, one toddler wailing and another jumping up and down despite the seat belt strapping him onto the bike. Around us a few people murmur, examining Molly. Her scent is wildly vivid today, stronger than ever. Or is it just that I know it so well now? Know it so intimately I could pick it out easily in a crowd like this, hovering and shimmering above all the other smells and aromas, capturing all of my attention.